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>Be me >Aged 7 >Be in school >Teacher asks "what do cows say?" >Girl in class says "moo" >Teacher says "correct" >Teacher asks what do sheep say?" >Dude in my class says "baa" >Teacher "says "correct" >Teacher asks "what do pigs say?" >I say "Freeze n-----! What's in the bag?!" >Apparently that's not the right answer. Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 01/08/13(Tue)13:45:36 No.449582184 wat Anonymous (ID: nbuyFrWt) 01/08/13(Tue)13:46:03 No.449582258 I lol'd JEG MOREL en warenes Anonymous (ID: xDboJ59x) 01/08/13(Tue)13:46:44 No.449582376 lol'd

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon goes to walmart at midnight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/22(Sun)10:44:11 No.70343936 @peps F585F34F-9F6B-4B07-83B8-61515899922B.jpg 83 KB JPG >be me >at walmart >midnight >out of nowhere some fat greasy neckbeard in some anime shirt rolls up to me on his mobility scooter >he points his index finger at my face from an arm's length away >"smell my finger" >what the f--- >i aint doing that s--- >unsure of what to do i just stand there motionless >proceed to have a staring contest with this fedoralord for like 9 seconds, but it felt like 10 seconds >after our stare off the greasemaster lowers his arm and leans forward towards me >he mutters some s--- to me along the lines of "you have failed the initiation test. our agents will be in contact with you shortly" >he then does a 7 point u-turn on his scooter and rolls out of the aisle im never going to walmart past 11 ever again

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anon is exposed | /r/Greentext

People can sense I'm an Incel >be me >work as a bartender >co-worker bosnian qt >she tells me I have a pretty face >asks me what do I do in free time >tell her I have my own life outside work >she mocks me saying "so jerking off and playing video games?"

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based dahmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: R3jIjHpP) Was Dahmer Based? DAHMER MONSTER THE JEFFREY DANMER STORY 251 KB JPG 09/25/22(Sun)10:11:17 No.396850575 I'm early into episode 1. Scary vibes : Anonymous (ID: MEd025mH 09/25/22(Sun)10:12:22 No.396850660 >>396850575 (OP) # >was a h--- based? no : Anonymous (ID: CgypU/0J) = 09/25/22(Sun)10:13:29 No.396850758 >>396850575 (OP) # He was a f-----, so no. : Anonymous (ID: JAIBKETI 09/25/22(Sun)10:14:03 No.396850801 >>396850575 (OP) # >vibes Go back to plebbit, f-----

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Anon gets revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This isn't even my final form. 148 KB PNG 07/16/18(Mon)05:06:05 No.46830850 Story time robots >be me >27 year old nerd-virgin >Finally move out of my parent's house and into an apartment complex a month ago >live next to roastie >Trying to go to sleep first night living here >Hear this bitch moaning and making loud sex sounds for a solid hour >Keeps me up past midnight >tired at work next morning >this happens EVERY F------ night >I try banging on the wall >F------ don't hear it or just ignore it >After a week, I go over and voice my dissatisfaction >Chad and bitch come out and say that they have the right to do what they want in their apartment >tell me to get f----- >That night, they're louder, more obnoxious, and go for longer than before >itson.wav >go to guitar center and buy the biggest, loudest, speakers they have >record audio of them f------ a few nights (gotta ensure I get the very best they have to offer) >begin observing their habits >notice they have friends over every friday night for drinking and s--- >intend to execute my plan the next Friday >Come home on a Wednesday and as I'm walking by, I see her walking into her apartment with her parents >ohshit.webm >Run into my apartment faster than a n----- with a TV >plug speakers into laptop >Crank it up to max setting >ExecuteOrder66.gif >audio file begins playing >sounds of "uhhh, UHHHHH UHHHHHHHH CHAD YES!!! YES!! F--- MY ASS!!!!!" can be heard throughout the building >feels like the windows might shatter from the sounds >when audio file ends, hear yelling from her apartment >hear sirens >Apparently, her father had a stroke from the embarrassment of hearing his daughter ask for Chad's hot c-- in her a------ >He recovers (kind of) >Never see Chad again >Roastie never has guys over again either >Last I heard, she was on antidepressants and doesn't go out anymore mfw I finally can get to sleep at a decent hour. mfw I ruin a roastie's life. mfw it was all well worth it

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anon goes to reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG 01/05/22(Wed)00:24:47 No.66850604 >browsing reddit >see a generic BOOHOO depression meme 1 Reply >caption reads something along the lines of would you take 1000 dollars but become ugly >EVERY SINGLE reply is "haha I'm already ugly" >I reply "no because I don't want to become ugly" >357 downvotes The miserable bring down others View Thread

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Anon finds the best use for a Microsoft product | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/19(Mon) 09:09:31 No.54212062 >be me >day after losing virginity want to make record of experience. >don't have a diary (chick thing) >open up excel spreadsheet. Type number "1" in column 1, the year in column 2. >proceed to rate girl and experience against certain criteria. Starts with P---- Hair: 'trimmed' 46 KB PNG > next column - P---- Tightness: 'Very tight' >fast forward to today- have been adding and rating for past 15 years. >I like to look over this spreadsheet and jerk to the memories. >I've done some analysis and today I share some findings gentlemen... >81% shaved >6.5% natural >6.5% trimmed >23% swallowed >15% licked my ass >12% did a--- >58% sucked balls >18% took a facial >12.5% had an unpleasant fishy odor I have more columns is anons are interested

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Nintendo took Anon's son away | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 60 95 KB JPG 09/25/22(Sun)06:51:48 No.70342288 >be me >it's my sons 14th birthday >give him the new splatoon game as a birthday present >he's very hyped >fast forward two days >walk into his room >the door wasn't even closed >he's jacking it HARD while zoomed in on the Squidgirl idols >didn't even notice me because of headphones What has Nintendo done to my son, I want my innocent child back

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anon asks an important question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ** 38 KB JPG : Anonymous >>65339998 # : Anonymous >>65340295 # : Anonymous 09/10/21 (Fri)22:57:14 No.65335239 >walk into class >your crush is tied up like this what do you do? 09/10/21 (Fri)22:58:09 No.65335246 09/10/21(Fri)22:59:20 No.65335252 09/10/21 (Fri)22:59:25 No.65335254 >>65335264 # >>65339074 # 09/10/21(Fri)23:00:24 No.65335263 : Anonymous I'm back in school again? I do things right this time. I do all my homework, I study hard, I go to a cheap college, I get a good degree, I start a middle class career, I make my family proud.

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virginity.... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous C 09/02/21(Thu)13:06:04 No.63322782 >getting mcdonalds late at night >going up the elevator with a girl who just came home from a party alone >she says "those fries smell good" >I say "yup" >she says "i'm hungry for some fries" 90 KB PNG >I say "fries are pretty good" >on her floor she stands in the elevator door and leans up against the frame in an attempt to be seductive and says "i sure would like some fries" and bites her lip >I say "they're open 24 hours" >she leaves I managed to protect my fries and my virginity.

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Anon thinks everyone is retard like him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/22(Sun)08:47:35 No.70340233 >be me >start texting an old fren from middle school basketball team >fren sends some Patrick Batemen meme >build rapport and chuckle >send some random schitzo meme expecting same result >Get left on seen until this very day Why are normies like this robots? 300 KB JPG

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anon receives a core memory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 195 KB PNG 03/24/21 (Wed)19:36:28 No.62896081 >girl in 11th grade once said I have pretty eyebrows and the girl next to her agreed >still remember it to this day

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Anon summarizes the football experience | /r/Greentext

PT 41m (9/24 22:46). 123859471 17 Re. 1 Img. JPG · 17KB · (570 × 321) 5 Replies adidos >MEEEEEEE >everything is about ME >MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEE >IT'S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEEE f------ pisses me off. KOHLE :

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Greentext Stories - Anon answers | /r/Greentext

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>Be me >Aged 7 >Be in school >Teacher asks "what do cows say?" >Girl in class says "moo" >Teacher says "correct" >Teacher asks what do sheep say?" >Dude in my class says "baa" >Teacher "says "correct" >Teacher asks "what do pigs say?" >I say "Freeze n-----! What's in the bag?!" >Apparently that's not the right answer. Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 01/08/13(Tue)13:45:36 No.449582184 wat Anonymous (ID: nbuyFrWt) 01/08/13(Tue)13:46:03 No.449582258 I lol'd JEG MOREL en warenes Anonymous (ID: xDboJ59x) 01/08/13(Tue)13:46:44 No.449582376 lol'd

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