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onymous 683 KB PNG 10/02/22(Sun)10:28:10 No.70426025 >Be me >01/10/2022 >Getting my first jobby job with a girl i actually love >me: "oh yeah btw today is 4chan birthday" >girl: *stops * >"really anon?" >*Gets mad and leaves early* Am i autistic?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext flag font

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon, and the mystery of the shoes in the fridge. | /r/Greentext

Aymous MARIESTAD 10/02/22(Sun)02:45:58 No.70426872 776 KB PNG > Be me. > Yesterday at my friend's party. > Lil bit intoxicated. > Thought it would be funny to put my friend's shoes in the fridge. > Pic related > After like 15 minutes another friend walks in to the room holding the shoes: > "WHO THE F--- PUT MY SHOES IN THE FRIDGE" > ofuck.png > Literally everyone in the room is laughing. > No main suspects. > ffw to 1 hour later. > Like 5x more intoxicated > I SOMEHOW find my own shoes in the fridge. > I do the same, I walk into the room: > "OKAY WHO THE F--- DID THIS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT" > The guy who usually does this has moved to another city so I have no idea of who it is. >By the time I left there had been: >3 pairs of shoes in the fridge, >2 pairs in the freezer. No one knows who put the shoes in the freezer.

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anon describes every /r9k/ user | /r/Greentext

>women hate me because I'm not chad >redpill alpha types hate me for not drinking their kool-aid and pretending to be something I'm not (Chad) >MGTOW's hate me because I still desire women and relationships and recognize that I'm being sent my own way, not going my own way willingly >bluepill soys/normies hate me for being negative or realistic 64 KB JPG >even other blackpillers hate me because we are all miserable crabs in a bucket

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (OP) # >>884257641 >learned how to fap >tried to get my sister to jerk me off >I just fapped while she watched >told her to tell me when to stop >she said nothing >I fapped until I came >she acted surprised but watched the whole thing >never spoke of it or actually did anything underwhelming but the attempt was made 08/21/22(Sun)00:52:43 No.884258195 >>884286500 #

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ANON IS A SAMURAI | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb Sauce NAO How to choose and care for a kat (...).jpg, 49KiB, 1280x720 LOADED. Anonymous Mon 03 Sep 2018 00:38:35 No.47904095 >I unleash my anger on Chad this time I am ready this time >I release I gas so foul that my fedora was blown off by the stench chad stumbled back in shock >"WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING ANON" >be me 34 y/o baby boy >enjoying my fav anime icarly on the couch after a long days work of jerking it to toy story >Mommy comes home with Chad >"Chad tsk tsk tsk I knew you would return this time I am prepared" >"what?" >I ran for my fedora and picked it up to enter a stance with the dazed chad >In that moment I knew it was time to slay the step dad >I unsheathed my katana >adjusted my fedora >I reflected in my time spent studying the blade to icarly >a voice at the back of my head said "you are ready" >I said back "thank you master Carly" >and teleported behind Chad >before his demise I uttered the words "Your time is up m'lord" >and I cleaved his head View Report >the whole time my mother was watching >I reeeeeeeeeeee-ed at the top of my voice >"make me my tendies bitch"

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anon is a neet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/01/22(Sat)23:47:15 No.70425325 374 KB PNG I'm a 33 year old NEET who lives with his mother. I actually like being outside most of the daylight, which is why I'd be depressed with any full time job. I used to do that, and while I had money, I didn't really enjoy life much. Between workdays, with all the down surrounding going to and from work, preparing and unwinding, it was only a few hours of sorta free time where I could be on the computer or go for a walk, if I didn't have to do laundry or some other chore. No matter what I do off the clock, I always have to go back to work or try to get to sleep, it was like a dark cloud hanging over all my "free" time. Without a job I am free go out for an all day hike in the morning if I feel up for it, or I'm free to stay up until 4 lost in reading a book. I have time to eat well, sleep well, do kundalini yoga, breathwork and mantra 2+ hours every day. So compared to a tired, stressed and depressed wagie, I'm a happy and healthy NEET, and this feels so much better. Having a real "career" and making more money would not make the working life worth it, and I looked, but few only part time jobs pay enough to be worth doing year round. >but don't you feel like a loser? Nope, cause I don't compare myself to others. >but don't you feel guilty being a parasite? Nope, there is there more than enough productivity being acheived through technology, and wealth being hoarded by the greedy. I deserve having free time while having my basic needs met. >but you don't have sex I absolutely never want to have children, or even risk getting anyone pregnant. Actually had some chances to lose my virginity when I was younger, but I was too nervous and anxious about that, so I never. I for one welcome the decline of lust that comes with age, and ideally don't even fap or browse p--- anymore.

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ANON IS TRIGGERED | /r/Greentext

download (1).png, 7KiB, 224x225 Anonymous Mon 22 Oct 2018 17:57:50 No.48855646 View Report View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO >Be me >Saved up my GBP >Spent them on tendies from Publix > Mummy and New Daddy go out to get food at supermarket >Return home an hour later >That w---- is late again as usually, but at least she brought the tendies >Remove the poop jug blocking my path as I waddle to the door of my lair, and gaze upon them unloading the groceries >Suddenly new daddy takes out one of my tendies and brings it close to his mouth >ohfuck.jpg >Expect Mummy to stop him, but of course that w---- does not >I scream the scream of a thousand autistic children as new daddy takes a bit out of my hard earned tendies >Roll at full speed from my room, with the s--- stuck to my a------ making a long trail from my lair to the kitchen >I crash into new daddy and incapacitate him >"If new daddy eats tendie, new daddy is tendie" >lube him up by emptying one of my piss jugs on him >proceed to use my layers of fat to wrap around him and then devour him, anaconda style >mummy stares in shock >finish up, turn to mummy >Remeber this lesson w----, now go get me some more tendies >She races out the door to get more tendies for her 32 year old good boy Im living the life guys, the chads got nothing on me

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anon and his pencil sharpener | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 53 KB JPG 03/11/22 (Fri) 10:17:10 No.874215710 >be me >4th grade >bring 3 sharpners to school >friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners >bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection >start collecting more and more sharpners >go to stationary every week to by more sharpners >collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month >start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner >english teacher asks for a sharpner >offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed >sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents >only allowed to bring 1 sharpner >idea.jpg >make a huge sharpner out of cardboard >dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint >display it on my table during the english period >get sent to the office fun days

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Anon wants to be a bloatlord | /r/Greentext

0 File 4600ba8038c658652982().jpg (27 KB, 690x495) Anonymous 09/30/22 (Fri)22:28:30 No.70413670 [Reply] >at the gas station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope? >>70413755 >>70413769 >>70413778 >>70413786

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How do you develop a personality? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 88 106 KB JPG 09/30/22(Fri) 16:31:02 No.886526720 >be me, 30 years old >write greentext >screenshot it and post it on plebbit >some retards make fun of "anon" The only notifications I ever get on my phone. >keep writing greentexts just to have some human contact Wish I knew how to make friends. Anyway, going to post this there too. How are you doing /b/

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College Love ♡ | /r/Greentext

I just discovered that i have a "girlfriend" discovered that i have (...) i 10/01/22(Sat)17:52:26 No.27415701 >girl approach me while trying to buy a bottle of water from the bending machine at colleg >"hey, are you anon?" >"yes that's me, how may i help you" >"It's about your girlfriend anonette, she is been a little depressed lately, im her classmate, we are not super close but i still worry about her" 21 KB PNG >Error 404 >"Who told you we are dating?" >"you aren't? Well told people in out class you were her boyfriend" >"we are dating sure... I was just curious who told you" Asking around "anonette" is a chubby girl from second year, i have never talked to her but she is been telling people im her boyfriend, i asked around. Maybe she wanted a fake boyfriend for any reason, maybe she wanted to use me as an excuse to not look single and pathetic or maybe she wanted to use me to make someone else jealous, in any case I don't see why she would pick me in particular, im far from being Chad. Maybe that's the reason. Someone more attractive wouldn't be convincing. In any case should i leave it like that? It really doesn't affect me if people thinks i have a gilrfriend and I don't think she is super ugly so it doesn't bring me shame to be her "boyfriend". Not like i have a real girlfriend so no one is getting jealous.

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Anon watches the Calvin and Hobbes movie | /r/Greentext

06/07/22(Tue)22:23:23 No.169272518 Anonymous *This is America by Childish Gamibo* THIS SUMMER *alarm clock going off* Hobbes (voiced by Coach McGurk): Calvin, wake up! It's time to play Fortnite! THINGS ARE GOING TO GET... Calvin (voiced by the rabbit girl from Bob's Burgers): Prom is tomorrow, and I still don't have a date! Hobbes: You could go with Susie. *Susie is black now* *record scratch* *And I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston* A LITTLE... Calvin: As a white male, I feel it's important that at moments like this I check my privilege and for that reason I will be giving myself a handicap at Calvin ball. That gives me an extra two points. Hobbes: Uh, I don't think that's how handicaps work. Calvin: Yes they do! *fighting* IMAGINATIVE Calvin: You know, this film and others like it are just a shameless corporate cash grab pushed out by studios lacking in any sort of creativity and originality. Hobbes: So... you wanna see it! Calvin: YEAH! *high five!* *Calvin flosses* oh, and it's all animated in 3D and Hobbes has ultra realistic fur. >>169272644 # >>169272647 #

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>886282677 >be 12 >year 2000, 56k dial up, couldn't get videos to work so I fapped to hentai and erotic stories >reading one about some anime, not a weeb f----- so I don't know if the names are boy or girl names >get to a part where the two main characters are rubbing their cocks together >ew gross close window >fapped to the story later >welp guess I like cocks too >>886285340 # 09/26/22(Mon)09:21:56 No.886285282 (OP) #

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Greentext Stories - Anon's tounge slips | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

onymous 683 KB PNG 10/02/22(Sun)10:28:10 No.70426025 >Be me >01/10/2022 >Getting my first jobby job with a girl i actually love >me: "oh yeah btw today is 4chan birthday" >girl: *stops * >"really anon?" >*Gets mad and leaves early* Am i autistic?

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