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File: clowns17n-2-web.jpg (94 KB, 750x829) 3 Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed) 16:03:39 No.726490398 ► story time autists >be me >6'6" 280lb redneck >we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck >live 2 miles from nearest human and 10 miles from nearest town >watching s----- reality TV one evening >stark naked b/c Texan summers and my wagie ass can't afford A/C >at about 11pm, hear car pulling up in driveway >LeaveMeAloneShitheads.jpg >look out window, see s------ 1990s Toyota covered in graffiti >3 teenagers in what I'm guessing was supposed to be "scary" clown attire file out >recall string of vandalism in local news, lightbulb goes off >NotOnMyWatch.exe >grab rifle, throw on nearest pair of boots and quietly go out back door >start slowly circling around trailer hoping to catch the little f------ in the act >hear some indistinct talking on side opposite mine, figure it's my chance >dramatically jump out with rifle up and start thinking of something imposing to say like "wanna die?" or "f--- you" >stage 5 autism kicks in, my brain fuses the two, and I shout at the top of my voice "WANNA F---?" >quickly look down and realize all the adrenaline has made my member fully erect >realize how it must look from their perspective >a 6'6" fatass with an AR15, a woody, and wearing nothing but cowboy boots has just asked them to f--- >I have NEVER seen anything haul ass faster in my entire life >no vandalism on the news for a couple weeks

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy terrestrial plant font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 139 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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cryptobro is depressed (like every other cryptobro) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UN4wm31+) 04/16/21(Fri)12:16:26 No.33210599 I'm sick. I'm sick to my f------ stomach. My chad brother never invested in crypto before and he and his gf put a few thousand dollars into DOGE and have made TENS OF THOUSANDS in a a few days. I've been investing in crypto for over 3 years now and my Portfolio is only up 250%. He just decided to buy some because of the memes he saw on twitter and he's out done me already. He out did me in height. He out did me in looks. He out did me in school. He out did me with sport. He out did me with girls. And now he has taking the one f------ thing I had that gave me a sense of worth and he's out done me in that. 20 KB JPG

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spanish anon does some math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Yb33KPyX ) I 10/30/22(Sun)18:07:21 No.402228051 >>402227540 (OP) # Musk spent $44 Billion on Twitter. The World's population is 8 billion. He could have given each person $5 billion and still have money leftover. I feel like a cheque for $5 billion would be life changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on Twitter >>402228330 # >>402228359 # >>402228455 # >>402228466 # >>402228507 # >>402228578 # >>402228639 # >>402228680 # >>402228720 # >>402228751 # >>402228790 # >>402228835 # >>402228876 # >>402228912 # >>402228930 # >>402229084 # >>402229182 # >>402229210 # >>402229278 # >>402229319 # >>402229524 # >>402229726 # >>402229922 # >>402229962 # >>402229983 # >>402230099 # >>402230143 # >>402230181 # >>402230219 # >>402230402 # >>402230426 # >>402230431 # >>402230548 # >>402230635 # >>402230834 # >>402230844 # >>402231068 # >>402231236 # >>402231407 # >>402231952 # >>402232035 # >>402232369 # >>402232673 # >>402232907 # >>402233361 # >>402233747 # >>402233992 # >>402234151 # >>402234354 # >>402235048 # >>402235084 # >>402235683 # >>402235937 # >>402235996 # >>402236187 # >>402236230 # >>402236276 # >>402236366 # >>402236372 # >>402238230 # >>402238701 # >>402238743 # >>402239458 # >>402239527 # >>402239976 # >>402240041 # >>402240264 # >>402240995 # >>402241202 # >>402241239 # >>402241393 # >>402241726 #

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anon finds workaround | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 10/19/22(Wed)13:01:52 No.70650456 >be sad >want gf >j------- >don't care about gf anymore It's literally that easy

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Yes. I love the chaos and also fear it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous It was never about free speech (ID: bX7SWHBT)8 10/28/22(Fri)08:35:43 No.401874041 Trending NORGE 158K Tweets AEDABCC7-59C9-4D6B-963B-C46BB4B62BEE.jpg 9 KB JPG This is all you ever wanted.

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Anon will never recover from this. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f----- up real bad 119 KB JPG 10/31/22(Mon)14:18:13 No.888267263 >Be me >Make fake instagram account of some unknown pornstar to make fun of people >Get some people to write with me, they actually think im real >Gears turning >Let the retards pay me for fake nudes >Make 1000 bucks within a month >Some guy, which went to my class in hs actally falls in love with me after spending 300$ on nudes >He sends me a link asking me if im the in the girl in that pic >Panic, thinking he found out and i lose out on a shitton of money >Its an IPGraber >No VPN >PANIC PANIC PANIC >Before i can delete everything he tells me what a sick f--- i am >Delete everything >He dms me, and tells me he wants his money back, plus 50$ >Send it all back >A day later he tells me to send him another 50$, or he will tell everyone what i was doing >Repeat 4 times, im out of money cause i spent all of it on lol / ov skins >He actually posts it >i nearly fated when i saw his ig story >Nearly all of the girls that i liked blocked me >Got 7 unopend dms of guys i took money from, with very, very harsh threads Its over isnt it

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based grampa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 12/24/20(Thu)15:55:31 No.61536939 >be me, family over for Christmas Eve >grandpa comes over too, he's sort of a nerd and loves older comic books >go to my room because I want to be alone >start watching Attack on Titan and hear a knock at the door >"hey anon, whatcha up to?", it's my grandpa >decide he's nerd enough that he would get anime >start showing him attack on titan and explaining lore and showing off figures i have >he looks super interested and smiles a lot and eventually leaves >mfw later overhear him asking my mom if i have any learning disabilities

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Anon’s brother was a degenerate | /r/Greentext

54.4 kB JPG >Brother died from being an overweight weeb who hardly ever left his f------ apartment >Have to clean out his apartment and sort through anything that the family wants to keep >Totally bagging his 4K computer setup >Go to his closet to sew if he has any boxes to put his s--- in >Open closet and Hell follows with it >Bad Dragon Dildos >Ball gags >Female Vagina and ass molds >A scrap book is also in the degenerate pile of filth >Its cut outs from everyone in the family and my wife plastered onto pornographic images >Bag nothing >Tell Apartment owner nothing in there is worth saving >Tell him to call a dump truck >Cry

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Anon kills his dishwasher (OC) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fk 23 KB PNG 06/26/19(Wed) 23:44:10 No.53097331 >be me >put knife in dishwasher >She dies >Mfw

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definitely not an accident | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 10/31/22(Mon)05:51:15 No.70795580 >be me, early 20s >use tinder, set my age range looking for MILFs >accidentally swipe right on my mom >mfw : Anonymous >>70795580 (OP) # I guess you'll at least save some money. 10/31/22(Mon)06:24:03 No.70795902

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Anon should marry her to assert dominance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 52 KB PNG 10/31/22(Mon) 02:50:17 No.888240925 >Be me >Birthday, turning 22 >Celebrating with two bestest frens >Having genuine fun for the first time in months, we live far apart so can't meet often or stay in touch much >All is well, until "btw Anon, do you have a girlfriend" >Say "no, haven't met the one I want to marry yet" >Friend looks at me confused and asks "what do you mean by marry" >Respond "well, I want to date someone who I'd be willing to marry. And besides, what if she'd accidentally get pregnant?" >Both friends just laugh at me, telling me to "stop being so serious, abortion exists too" and "you can just bail as well, that's what I did" >w--.jpg >Ask fren 2 what he means >He explains that he had a drunk one night stand with a girl, got her pregnant, and bailed without even paying child support >Shocked, cuz thought he wouldn't ever do something like this >Even worse, the girl was my school crush, genuinely one of the sweetest and innocent people I've met >Ask him how could he just bail >Shrugs, and says "well you didn't take her, and her fault for not aborting" >Confusion, wdym >He tells me she liked me for four years. Something I never once realized before. But in hindsight, it makes sense. >Ask him why he never told me >"Wasn't it obvious, why else would she have wanted to spend time with you" >Mind blank, out of it for the rest of the night >Goodbyes and sleep >Wake up to the frens group chat making fun of me for being a "virgin" and an "incel" >Cry How do I cope with this? Should I just die?

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Anon is a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XKa6xbyD) 8 KB PNG >>301406177# 01/09/21 (Sat)01:40:35 No.301405702 >>301404743 (OP) # >why yes, i spend 20% of my allowance on reddit gold awards to let people know that they did a good think

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washing machine problem | /r/Greentext

TUZI 202 KB JPG DAY 1 >load the all week dirty clothes to the washing machine >turn it on >doesn't work DAY 2 >tell my husband that it's broken >he looked at it and told me that he's gonna fix it tomorrow >ok DAY 3 >he comes back from work >eats dinner >tells me that he's tired and will fix it tomorrow >watches tv for the rest of the evening DAY 4 >he goes to his friend right after coming back from work >comes back drunk >doesn't fix the washing machine DAY 5 (today) >he mows grass >then he cooks dinner >then he formats disc in the computer >then he oils hinges in all the doors in house >then he goes to sleep >washing machine still broken How do I get him to f------ fix it at least? Is not f------ him until he does it a good idea? >inb4 he doesn't know how to do it Of course he can, he's an engineer, he's just being lazy 10/30/22(Sun)23:31:49 No.27610056 : Anonymous >>27610045 (OP) # Walk around naked. >"Honey, I have no clean clothes!"

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes clowns haul ass | /r/Greentext

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File: clowns17n-2-web.jpg (94 KB, 750x829) 3 Anonymous 03/22/17(Wed) 16:03:39 No.726490398 ► story time autists >be me >6'6" 280lb redneck >we're talking full blown, AR15-toting, Trump-supporting, trailer-dwelling Texan redneck >live 2 miles from nearest human and 10 miles from nearest town >watching s----- reality TV one evening >stark naked b/c Texan summers and my wagie ass can't afford A/C >at about 11pm, hear car pulling up in driveway >LeaveMeAloneShitheads.jpg >look out window, see s------ 1990s Toyota covered in graffiti >3 teenagers in what I'm guessing was supposed to be "scary" clown attire file out >recall string of vandalism in local news, lightbulb goes off >NotOnMyWatch.exe >grab rifle, throw on nearest pair of boots and quietly go out back door >start slowly circling around trailer hoping to catch the little f------ in the act >hear some indistinct talking on side opposite mine, figure it's my chance >dramatically jump out with rifle up and start thinking of something imposing to say like "wanna die?" or "f--- you" >stage 5 autism kicks in, my brain fuses the two, and I shout at the top of my voice "WANNA F---?" >quickly look down and realize all the adrenaline has made my member fully erect >realize how it must look from their perspective >a 6'6" fatass with an AR15, a woody, and wearing nothing but cowboy boots has just asked them to f--- >I have NEVER seen anything haul ass faster in my entire life >no vandalism on the news for a couple weeks

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