[2][2470059379224700611032470004012 >be me >fap time >browsing p--- websites >end up finding a hot video of some dude ramming a hot ass girl >ICanWorthWith This.jpg >literally start crying laughing >he asks me what >fapping >getting close >zooms in on girls face >i Stop >finish >devise plan (said friend had pranked me by moving my car and having me think it was stolen for hours) >revenge.jpg >download video, cut out all parts of face close ups >pause the video >holy f---....thats my best friends mom >im 100% sure of it too, I can tell by the voice and the face, ive seen younger pics of her around his house too, he told me she did some "modeling" when she was younger but its all long gone now, i always suspected it was p--- (she told him when she was drunk) >holy f--- >distort audio slightly so voices sound different >send to my friend via email >he thanks me >5 hours later he tells me he just used it, its a great video >literally dying of laughter >keep my mouth shut, go over to his place next day to break the news to him >he tells me the vid is awesome (actually a really hot video) and he used it again >i go online and show him full vid, fast forward to face close up >"you just fapped to ur mom bro" >he freezes, hes in shock, ends up coming to terms with it and runs to the bathroom and pukes >hes f------ p----- but im laughing uncontrollably >funniest moment of my life >to add insult to injury i jokingly say i found ur dad (his dad left before his birth, he has pictures of him but never met him, he jokes about it to lighten the situation) >"oh very funny anon, f--- you" to vid "see dude it was made the same year u were born!!" >leaves room and grabs mom >pulls her in >she freezes at site of video >i go to >actually was...strange coincidence >he says f--- you again then freezes >he slowly walks to computer >fast forwards to close up of males face >the male is Hispanic and he is half hispanic >the video is a c------- video >he runs out and grabs a picture of his dad (picture is from when his mom was pregnant, he left on the 8th month of pregnancy) >holds it next to screen >f--- >f--- >bricks shat >Its his f------ dad >the resemblance is too close to not be...same hairstyle same looks same color skin >w-- >l immediately feel like a piece of f------ s--- >I just revealed to my closest bro his birth was a p---- gone wrong >he starts to cry >she starts to cry >It was true....he f------ just fapped to his conception >I apologize, don't even know what to say

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Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

Anonymous 66 KB GIF 03/27/25(Thu)16:49:03 No.80769630 >You hate women, yet you seek validation and love from them >You hate normies, yet you desire to be just like them None of you are true anti-normies, you're just failed normie outcasts. A true anti-normie such as myself, does not need the validation of others in order to live their lives, and such a concept or way of life is incomprehensible to you. I am capable of being alone without being a whiny, depressed, pathetic, weak useless s------ such as yourself. You on the other hand are no different than the normies by desiring to fit in within the crowd, to have friends, to have sex, to increase their social status, and to live the normie life, the only difference is that you're just a failed normie. I will never be affiliated with you miserable jackasses and I always find it funny to see how much you suffer in the mental prisons you create for yourselves while you reject any alternative perspective. Enjoy needlessly suffering for the rest of your life then be casted into hell for all of eternity for being a degenerate p--- addicted retard.

$Anonymous entire friend group got BTFO'd 570 KB JPG 03/26/25(Wed)12:35:14 No.80761923 >have same group of friends since middle school >we all go to the same university >in our first year a new guy starts hanging out with the group >seems really funny and sociable at first >turns out all he really does is talk s--- about people, pull "pranks" that are really just mean, and be an all-around a------ >he really starts to get on my nerves within a few months >notice my friends are starting to act more like him, overall dickishness is widespread >talk to the rest of my friends and say i think the guy is an a------ >"bro relax it's just fun, there's nothing wrong with it" >ifyousayso.png >by sophomore year the entire group is just constantly annoying >sending videos to the group chat of them yelling at drive thru workers and making fun of random people on campus >one guy gets in deep s--- for calling his teacher a n-----, got heard and almost lost his scholarship >talk to the group again >"dude quit being such a p----, you're just killing the vibe" etc >by junior year i hate basically all my friends >slowly just stop hanging out with them >lonely but i don't feel like s--- anymore lol >by graduation (last year) i don't talk to any of them >none of them graduate with me >find out last week that the entire group fractured when they found out that the guy was f------ one of my friend's gf >half of them knew and just thought it was funny >3 of my friends haven't even graduated yet because they skipped so much class >the a------ guy graduates this semester and already has a job with his daddy's business i feel like i watched a train wreck happen in slow motion, didn't things were that bad but h--------$

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Anon is grateful he is normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT: Scenes that ruined you 707 KB PNG 10/31/22(Mon)13:58:45 No.176277991 >watched MIB2 as a kid >see the scene where the alien lady vores her would-be r----- >spend the rest of my life with a r--- fetish If it had gone the other way I would've killed myself for the good of mankind

Anon does a zoomer-remake of Full Metal Jacket. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG H >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! EL-E13 >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.

anon is the jokah (not greentext?) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/22(Mon)19:53:28 No.888275271 >finish watching the dark knight >i feel a personal connection to the joker >"sweety dinner is ready" >i walk towards bitch mom slow and cool as s--- >do you wanna know how i got these scars? 513 KB PNG >bitch mom throw up after smelling my breath >dad walk in and see mom and me laughing hysterically (it looked cool) >"WHAT DID YOU DO YOU LITTLE S---?" >i'm the jokah baby! >dad beat this s--- out of me >tried to laugh hysterically while he beat me but start crying after two second

most sane user on r9k | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies

Anon is suspicious of MrBeast | /r/Greentext

$: Anonymous (ID: EPA9/4cn Mr. Beast, money launderer and(...) 10/31/22(Mon)13:31:28 No.402326552 Mr Beast's video production costs don't line up with his reported income. 502 KB JPG >Mr Beast pays out 456k to a winner of his Squid Game video. Another popular youtuber, Nick DiGiovanni, only paid out 100 bucks to the people who won in his video. Granted, Nick is a much smaller figure than Mr Beast, but even if you apply scaling, he shouldn't be able to pay that much for a single video. >his big payouts are only a fraction of his production cost. Meaning that even if a video does really well, he's still unlikely to make a profit. >he has been involved in crypto, and sells merchandise and branded food. However, food industry profit margins are extremely low, especially for the products he produces (fast food and candy bars). Also, crypto needs to be declared on tax forms and is notoriously unstable. SocialBlade states that he would be making 1.5-24 million dollars a year. After taxes, payouts, and a personal cut, that's not going to be enough to pay for more than one of his videos, let alone a month's worth. While his other channels may make another few million, this still won't be nearly enough. >Teamseas/other charities are actually loopholes for extra tax-free cash. Though it's chump change compared to his major cash cows, these charities have done very little outside of Mr Beast's videos on them. Most likely, he's pocketed millions of dollars from fans and lied about it. >Mr. Beast mentions in an interview that he makes a profit on almost all of his videos. This is very suspect. Anything that has a constant return like this is most likely a scam. In other words, Mr. Beast is running fraud and money laundering schemes and is using high-production-cost videos to make himself look clean. Those large payouts may be an attempt to make others guilty by compliance. There's simply no way he's making his money legally.$

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