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62 KB JPG >be me jacking off late at night >run out of tissue to wipe up >what do? >lightbulb.wav >I take showers in the morning >youseewherethisisgoing.jpg >wipe c-- on my stomach until dry >wake up the next morning >usually have acne on my torso >I don't this morning >wotmate.stl >c-- is good for your skin >start doing it regularly >acne gone >few weeks later realize what I'm doing >realize that I'm an autist that rubs c-- on himself >mfw

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon on Redditors. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: AUTw/2vH) ª 14 by Fac 03/05/22(Sat)02:12:45 No.365272386 >Soldier posts on Facebook his exact location to his friends and fellow Redditors in private >Redditor posts the image on Reddit for updoots 620 KB JPG >Russian scrolling through the subreddit gets confirmation that Ukrainians are using schools as bases >Russians shell every abandoned school in the area, massacring everybody A Redditor singlehandedly got multiple safe zones exposed for upvotes

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YouTuber face reveal | /r/Greentext

TERD M6910 Adobe_20221002_191656.png 338 KB PNG >100+ million subs on YouTube >Millions of fans who are constantly horny >Face reveal today >It's literally an average white dude as we all were expecting Was it worth losing your father over?

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Anon finds Reddit for the first time. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.78605778E >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No.10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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Writer's Block | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous T 23 13 KB PNG 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 : Anonymous >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life

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anon uses q-tips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB PNG >won't let me >liar 10/10/22(Mon)15:06:08 No.887082245 >feel ear pain and go to doctor >doctor asks if I've been using q-tips >say no (I have been) >tells me q-tips are bad >ask him if he uses q-tips >he says no >ask to look in his ear

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CRECCINATED OMY Mont 472 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)19:12:32 No.70847805 >go to college >Study to be mortician >Chemistry class >Girl sit next to me is talkative to me >"Anon what are you studying to be" >"Mortician" >"Cool I want to be {insert profession}, why do you want to work with the dead anyway" >Autism.batch >"Because I'm a virgin" >S--- s--- f--- >"Oh.. Kay...." >Doesn't talk to me the rest of class

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Anon embellishes his autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)16:54:09 No.70857105 >>70856268 # in a similar vain >be 13 >>70857692 # >f------ loser >some guy starts a rumor that i liked one of the hottest girls in class 22 KB JPG >rumor got huge around the class and some people even said I told everyone we were dating >wanted to an hero because all the girls laughed at me for it >hot girl in question was obviously disgusted and wanted to squash the rumor by rejecting me >walks up to me after lunch >asks what i would think if we dated 'tism kicks in >"uh that would be weird I wouldn't date you" >quickly shuffle away and dont wait for response >she misses next period >heard she was crying in the bathroom in 20 years that was the only time i ever got cold approached by a woman

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anon thinks Edison was wrong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)12:08:30 No.89601454 320708.jpg 287 KB JPG >750,000 volts are totally dangerous and deadly, trust me bro

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Anon is pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CHERRY 29 KB JPG 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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Anon tried to make a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/03/22(Thu)16:27:49 No.244664959 >>244664510 # >go to gym, am a regular >see big guy in bench >we leave at same elevator >I want to make friends 213 KB JPG >tell him you're a big guy >he takes off his earphones and nods me to repeat my self >y-you're a b-big guy haha >he looks at me with disgust >get away from me f----- >we part ways Bros...

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anon's mother doesn't trust him | /r/Greentext

1/2 njdwfEb1 (OP). WP 17m (11/4 14:41). 402921531 28 Re1 Img PNG 70KB (255 × 207) 18 Replies . >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by this? :

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Greentext Stories - Anon has acne | /r/Greentext

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62 KB JPG >be me jacking off late at night >run out of tissue to wipe up >what do? >lightbulb.wav >I take showers in the morning >youseewherethisisgoing.jpg >wipe c-- on my stomach until dry >wake up the next morning >usually have acne on my torso >I don't this morning >wotmate.stl >c-- is good for your skin >start doing it regularly >acne gone >few weeks later realize what I'm doing >realize that I'm an autist that rubs c-- on himself >mfw

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Uploaded Nov 05, 2022 at 04:23AM EDT

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