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anon has healthy coping mechanisms | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Dec 08, 2022 at 10:24AM EST
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![Canadian holiday Fren 12/08/22 (Thu) 04:13:33 ID: 4bb0a No.62749 [Watch Thread] >Be me >Love to travel >Haven't been to Canada in like 10 years, so I figure I'll check it out >Fly in to Vancouver with my backpack >Take the metro downtown to find a place to stay >Decide to go totally local and rent a pod for 2 weeks (only costs $2 000) >The pod hive I'm staying at even won an ESG award from the BlackRock Foundation (major sponsors of the WEF), and they give you free bugs to eat every morning >Awesome right? >Try to access /pol/ to tell anons about my holiday, but the website is blocked for "hateful content" >Feel blue >Go to a weed dispensary >Their genetically modified buds on display are literally just like pure THC crystals >Order a few of the buds to go, pre-rolled into joints, budtender puts them in a brown bag, along with a flyer I didn't quite see >Walk over to a park in the gay village to smoke the weed >There's gay pride flags everywhere and I'm surrounded by AIDS trannies >Open the bag, smoke one of the joints >Take a look at the flyer >"Have you considered reducing your lifetime carbon footprint by killing yourself? The Government of Canada offers free suicide booths throughout Vancouver, so become an net zero hero" >On the back, there's a map that shows the locations; one is just down the street from me, in the gay village >The crystal weed makes me feel guilty for even existing in this plane of reality >Stoned out of my mind, I walk over to the suicide booth and enter >Inside, there's a red button that says "press here to help save the planet" >Contemplate for a few seconds >Press it >Flames engulf the booth, and reality dissolves around me >Find myself in a waiting room >Grey aliens ask if I want to reincarnate on Earth for another lifetime, promising me that they'll make me rich and famous in that lifetime if I agree >Tell them to f--- off and walk through the "no" door >Wake up in Tartaria, on a planet known as Gaia, in a higher plane of reality >My friend next to me asks "well, how was your trip? you were out for a couple minutes" >N----, I just lived through 13 1/2 lifetimes on a prison planet, s--- was f----- >He says "ok, well I guess it's my turn" and takes a hit of the drug I had just smoked, immediately spacing out](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/492/244/3f9.jpg "Anon visits Canada | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - anon has healthy coping mechanisms | /r/Greentext
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Uploaded Dec 08, 2022 at 10:24AM EST
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