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[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: 1579177888545.png (916 KB, 760x573) >he said calmly >"Welcome students, welcome to another year here at Hogwarts. To our First Years I have a few notices I wish to announce. An unmarked, random room in this castle will kill anyone entering it. It is such because I decided to hide an extremely dangerous and powerful artifact at this institution for children. Please also note that if you enter the schools forest, it will be a very painful and certain death from the dozens of ferocious creatures roaming it." >"Despite being the safest place in the world for wizards, there is a coin flips chance that one my employees this year is on first-name basis with the most evil wizard in living memory. I am of course speaking of VOLDEMORT. Yes, I said his name. I am not scared for my life, but you should be. Which one is it this year? Personally, my bet is on professor Snape." >"I am also pleased to announce that the quinquennial Death Tournament will be held this year. The three underage contestant will endure three deadly trials for no other reason than my personal amusement. I encourage anyone from monetarily struggling families to enter so that you can recover from the outrageously expensive and gratuitous equipment we require you to purchase to attend this school. You dont want your family to starve do you? So please enter! Speaking from experience, casualties are frequent and amusing.' >"Lastly I need to address the elephant in the room, or rather the snake in the room. I personally distrust and loathe the members of the Slytherin House, and as such, if Slytherin wins the House Cup through effort and hard work, I will overthrow the result by giving arbitrary points to whatever house I feel like" >As the students get out of their seats and scramble out of the main hall, Dumbledoor looks across the teachers table with a mocking grin >"Severus, see me at my office immediately. We need to discuss your Lily-cuckold situation" Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)02:04:27 No.135389095 ▶ >>135389213 >>135389270 >>135389416 >>135389435 >>135389671 >>135389707 >>135389761 >>135389772 >>135390108 >>135390157 >>135390590 >>135390926 >>135390954 >>135391110 >>135391287 >>135392027 >>135392436 >>135393511 >>135394226 >>135394363 >>135394512 >>135394569 >>135394763 >>135396458 >>135397014 Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)02:06:58 No.135389169 ► >>135394959 >he said calmly Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)02:18:46 No.135389449 Did their parents have to sign release forms? Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)02:20:27 No.135389493 ► >>135390787 unironically this is exactly how I imagine a powerful wizard would behave Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)02:21:43 No.135389531 ▸ File: 1592451439150.gif (1.57 MB, 500x251) >mfw dumbledore imperius cursed a harem of underaged witches and filmed them again >mfw dumbledore spiked everyone's drinks with veratiserum over christmas Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)03:03:14 No.135390487 ► >>135390580 >>135390640 >>135390662 >>135390695 >>135391577 >>135392213 >>135393209 >>135394363 >>135394512 >>135396458 File: 1592129573743.png (1.56 MB, 1600x667) >Also children I would like to let you know that for my own amusement I have hired a squib to clean the school despite the fact that magic would make this a trivial task for anyone else /tv/SPOILERS For disturbing images. www.4chan.org >Feel free to curse him as much as you would like as he cannot defend himself. >Also I have another anouncement >Notorious criminal Sirius Black has broken free from prison, so to ensure your safety we have littered the school grounds with demons that suck out people's souls and eat happiness >That will be all, have a nice year Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)03:05:19 No.135390532 ► >>135394951 I wonder if there is a market for really attractive people to sell bits of their hair for polyjuice potion. Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)03:07:11 No.135390577 >>135390761 >>135390821 >>135390850 >>135391122 >>135391703 >>135393133 >>135393255 >>135394363 >>135394512 File: Lipetit.png (522 KB, 646x463) Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)03:07:40 No.135390590 File: Spoiler Image (25 KB, 360x450) >Children you may notice my pet m----- has died. He has been replaced by another, whom I procured at no small expense. >You will address Mr. Davis as Professor Lipetit from now on. We will pretend he is the same m----- I previously owned. If any aurors show up and ask what happened we will say Professor Lipetit merely charmed himself to appear younger. >The Professor will be seated next to Hagger, as the discrepancy in the sizes of these two freaks amuses me greatly. Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)03:10:09 No.135390640 ► >>135389095 (OP) >One final thing students, and listen closely >Any student caught practicing BLACK magic >turns and looks directly at pic related >will be punished severely >N------.. ah I mean BLACK magic should be reported immediately and they will be lynched.. ah I mean expelled. >he said calmly Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)03:11:08 No.135390662 >>135391465 >>135390487 >we also have a number of elves we keep as willing slaves. >feel free to gawk and point at their grotesque appearance and perhaps laugh if you must. >*stares down the grainger bitch* >>135394853 >>135390487 >Notorious criminal Sirius Black has broken free from prison, so to ensure your safety we have littered the school grounds with demons that suck out people's souls and eat happiness >Also, he was a good friend >under no circumstances will you attempt to organize a slave revolt. >it ended poorly for the elves last time, but hagrid was well fed for weeks afterwards >oh, and due to avian flu concerns, the owl rookery...yes the one full droppings is off limits and all delivery owls are to be culled at once. >now...let the feast begin! Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)03:14:17 No.135390737 ► someone post the pasta about Dumbledore hanging trannies or something Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)03:14:06 No.135390731 >>135390846 >>135390879 >>135391173 >>135391249 >>135391613 >>135392063 >>135392218 >>135392469 >>135393209 >>135394363 >>135394512 >>135394724 >>135395032 >>135396458 File: 1592442603910.png (470 KB, 524x522) >Dumbledore is peacefully working in his office >Suddenly the door opens >In walks an African student wearing the proud black and red robes of Gryffindor, a symbol of a racially equal wizard society >Dumbledore shrieks in terror and goes for his wand, points it at the intruder and screams RIDDIKULUS >Dumbledore breathes a side of his relief as the bogart retreats back into the castle Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)03:32:12 No.135391110 ► File: 1553704332113.jpg (75 KB, 586x580) Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)06:16:39 No.135394512 File: 1561662063818m.jpg (22 KB, 332x1024) >>135390731 >>135390577 >>135390487 >>135389095 (OP) >>135389095 (OP) >It is such because I decided to hide an extremely dangerous and powerful artifact at this institution for children. >Speaking from experience, casualties are frequent and amusing. Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)06:17:00 No.135394520 File: vernkino2.jpg (118 KB, 496x635) >>135394428 Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)06:27:48 No.135394713 ► >>135394730 >>135394833 >>135394975 >NO RONALD, I WILL NOT START CALLING YOU RHONDA, HOGWARTS WILL NOT STAND BY SUCH DEGENERACY! YOU WERE BORN A MAN AND A MAN YOU WILL STAY! CRUCIO! MAYBE THAT WILL TEACH YOU! Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri)06:10:12 No.135394363 File: 1590781332524.jpg (33 KB, 493x386) >>135392619 >>135392965 >>135393013 Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)04:42:09 No.135392639 ► >>135392662 File: 1523676910833.png (142 KB, 359x363) E Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fr)04:46:10 No. 135392704 ► File: 1.png (298 KB, 524x522) >he said calmly Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)04:43:39 No.135392662 File: Minase.jpg (52 KB, 640x480) >>135392639 Delete this >>135389095 (OP) >>135390487 Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)05:13:37 No.135393293 File: 1571707200431.jpg (113 KB, 990x990) >>135390577 >>135390731 >>135392004 >>135392027 RIDDIKULUS >N------.. ah I mean BLACK m BLACK magic RIDDIKULUS >he said calmly Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)05:08:39 No.135393190 ► File: 1591391119923.gif (1.07 MB, 150x200) >>135393356 >>135395230 >>135395883 >Yes, I said his name. I am not scared for my life, but you should be. >>135392577 >You will never be a teenager locked in a school all year with other horny people your age with access to magic and potions that can make any fantasy come true. / 338 / 85 if youre a girl and you use polyjuice to transform into another girl and have sex while transformed, do you keep your hymen? Anonymous 06/19/20(Fri)04:44:45 No.135392681 ► File: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHH.jpg (49 KB, 500x354) >>135392619 >HARRY F------ POTTER DID YOU WRITE "ALL LIVES MATTER" ON THE WALLS OF THE THIRD FLOOR CORRIDOR WITH THE BLOOD OF MR FILCHS CAT! >THE MUGGLES IN HOGSMEADE HAVE STARTED RIOTING! THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY NOW TO TEAR DOWN THE STATUE OF GODRIC GRYFFINDOR HIMSELF! >PANDEMONIUM! BLASPHEMY! >OH YOU THINK ITS FUNNY DO YOU? WELL IT WOULD BEMUSE YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR FRIEND MS GRANGER HAS BEEN MISSING ALL DAY. THEY'RE PROBABLY DEFILING ALL HER HOLES AS WE SPEAK! I DON'T NEED TO REMIND YOU HOW MUGGLES LUST AFTER OUR WOMEN DO I? >YOU KNOW SOMETIMES I CAN REALLY SEE WHERE TOM WAS COMING FROM, I REALLY DO. ALAS ITS COME TO THIS. GRAB YOUR F------ WAND AND PUT THIS POINTY HOOD ON. WE MUST SECURE THE EXISTENCE OF OUR PEOPLE AND A FUTURE FOR MAGICAL CHILDREN. >HEIL GODRIC! >he said calmly

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Dumbledore gives the start of the term speech


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Anonymous 3 years and 201 days ago No.151845642 View Report >Harry!! >Harry!!! >*crashing sounds* >i'll ask you once, calmly, did you put your name in the Goblet of fire! >*strangling sounds* >Harry!! >talk damn you!! >n-nno sir >that's it, Alistair, fetch Ms. Granger >tell me now Harry!! >fine CRUCIO!! >IT'S YOUR FAULT HARRY! >TALK >sir... please >AHHH BRING ME THE WEASLEY BOY >ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES HARRY, DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!! >no *sobbing* please >VERY WELL AVADA KEDAVRA >NO MORE RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY >HARRY! THE GOBLET! DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN IT dumbledore questioned calmly
Anonymous 09/16/20(Wed)23:11:57 No.17059503 >>17059546 >>17059609 >>17059665 File: 1587894210677.jpg (103 KB, 733x486) >I consider myself a patient man, Harry. I overlooked that time you kept sneaking trans students polyjuice potion containing their own hair, making them turn back into their normal selves, despite the suicides. >I was even willing to turn a blind eye to you casting memory charms on post op hufflepuffs, because the look on their faces when you showed them a mirror was frankly hilarious, but this fine you've gone too far. >you have to understand that sectumsempra is dangerous magic, Harry, and I can't just let you go round telling Hufflepuffs that it's an instant transition spell if they point it at their crotch. >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, and see why I'm only awarding you 42 points
Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)05:16:46 No.592339286 >>592340025 >>592349607 >>592355112 >>592361079 >>592364302 >>592367412 >>592368863 >>592369286 >>592373847 >>592376556 >>592377124 >>592378657 >>592380217 >>592380718 >>592386813 >>592393138 >>592400338 >>592401207 >>592402007 1644619646869.png (858 KB, 830x664) google yandex iqdb wait >>592338610 >"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYY POO000000000|||||||||| TITTEEEERRRR", Dumbledore roared calmy with the wrath of a thousand suns >"FIRST YOU PUT YOUR NAME AS "HARRIETTA" IN THE GOBLET OF FIYA, THEN YOU USED HERMIONE'S HAIR TO MAKE A POLYJUICE POTION AND LET ALL THOSE SLYTHERIN S---- RUN A TRAIN ON YOU, NOW I CATCH YOU PLAYING A FEMALE CHARACTER?" >Dumbledore rapidly stretched his legs up to Harry's face >YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR YOU FOUR EYED LITTLE S---! I HAD HOPED IT WOULDN'T HAVE TO COME TO THIS, BUT YOU'VE LEFT ME WITH NO OTHER CHOICE! >YUWINEVERUS BIYAWOMUNIS! >suddenly a noose dropped down from the ceiling and wrapped around Harry's neck before being hoisted back up >"41 BILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR" Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)07:47:43 No.592355112 ✓ 1622208435494.jpg (906 KB, 2544x4000) google yandex iqdb wait >>592339286 >Dumbledore rapidly stretched his legs up to Harry's face Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)11:08:00 No.592373847 ✓ >>592339286 This is the first time 41% memes were funny for me in a while Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)12:26:58 No.592380217 ✓ 1618498608350.jpg (94 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait >>592339286 >>Dumbledore rapidly stretched his legs up to Harry's face 929bb62f9f38f5059770a54c5988048a848356c9.jpg 160 KB JPG >Yes, yes, well done Hufflepuff, well done. However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last minute points to award. {The Gryffindor students look up.} ToMissHermione Granger, for the use of cool intellect against discord trannies, 50 points. {Applause.} >Harry: (Pats) Good job. >Dumbledore: Second, toMr.Ronald Weasley, for tweeting "transwomen aren't people, let alone women" (Ronlooks atHarryand mouths, 'Me?'Harrynods, and mouths, "You!"} ..50 points. (Applause) And third, toMr. Harry Potter, for casting "reparo" on the crotch of every trans student you came across, I award Gryffindor house 60 points. (Immense cheering.) >Hermione: We're tied with Hufflepuff! >Dumbledore: And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points toJK Rowling! >{The castle erupted in cheers) >Dumbledore: which means, I think, we are need of a change of decoration! Anonymous 03/18/22 (Fri)08:50:00 No.592361079 ✓ | Anonymous 03/18/22 (Fri) 14:03:56 No.592386813 ✓ 1646425708020.gif (515 KB, 510x510) google yandex | lol.gif (3.4 MB, 588x588) google yandex iqdb wait >>592339286 >Dumbledore clapped twice. Ropes appeared around 40% of the hufflepuffs' throats, then swiftly hoisted them up in place of the banners. Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)11:47:33 No.592377124 ✓ 1462069005593.png (145 KB, 300x297) google yandex iqdb wait >>592339286 Jesus Christ put me in the screen cap! Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri) 10:16:35 No.592369286 ✓ 1646003077541.jpg (27 KB, 325x331) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)06:27:05 No.592347107 >>592348672 >>592348897 >>592349607 >>592376652 >>592380785 >>592384087 1647385610773.jpg (319 KB, 768x1564) google yandex iqdb wait >>592335921 (OP) >YUWINEVERUS BIYAWOMUNIS! f------ lost Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)06:43:26 No.592348897 ✓ 1645311778047.gif (1.49 MB, 420x279) google yandex iqdb wait AW >>592347107 >casting "reparo" on the crotch of every trans student you came across My sides. >>592348672 Join the 51% of course. >>592339286 why is calmposting the funniest f------ thing to me? this s--- gets me every time, especially when there's some d------- spell thrown in there Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)13:22:48 No.592384087 >>592390639 >>592401652 >>592347197 https://voca.ro/163MfCndNtcW (embed) 5 minutes in audacity >>592339286 >>YUWINEVERUS BIYAWOMUNIS! I've prepared a special gift for Slytherin https://vocaroo.com/nUt57wURU0C (embed) >>suddenly a noose dropped down from the ceiling and wrapped around Harry's neck before being hoisted back up >>"41 BILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR" Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)11:40:26 No. 1634770626733.jpg (40 KB, 524x228 YUNDAN >>592339286 F------ kek >>592385384 lost my s--- at the ending AEW WRESTLING Get Captcha Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)13:41:47 No.592385384>>592385921 >>592400534 >>592400924 >>592401245 1601007106521.jpg (42 KB, 644x390) google yandex iqdb wait YUNBAU Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)07:30:06 No.592353436 >>592353675 >>592353873 >>592354013 >>592355365 >>592360498 >>592378706 >>592379253 >>592383362 >>592390636 1634982221640.jpg (126 KB, 769x530) google yandex iqdb wait A TYPE THE CAPTCHA HERE TNT >Turn to page 394 >Trannies? >But sir we've just been learning about mild ADHD and OCD, We're not meant to be starting advanced deviancies like Transgenders and Groomers for weeks? >Quiet, Now who can tell me the difference Between an woman and a t-----? >A t----- is someone who tries but ultimately fails to become a real XX chromosome woman. A woman, HOWEVER, has no choice, with each full moon she menstruates and is capable of pregnancy >That's the second time you've spoken out of turn miss Granger 10 points from Gryffindor, now homework on my desk by Monday morning two pages on trannies and how to recognise them actually you don't need to because they never pass Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)17:57:06 No.592400924 ✓ 1620387177395.jpg (33 KB, 578x419) google yandex iqdb wait
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Uploaded Jan 04, 2023 at 02:02PM EST

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Dumbledore-posting

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albus percival wulfric brian dumbledore, harry potter, racism, 4chan, greentext, dumbledore said calmly, parody

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