: Anonymous embarassed 5 KB JPG myself 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 107 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)21:57:23 No.892622916 >grandma visits >excitedly run downstairs >my balls slap my thigh >produce the mightiest clap >everyone looks me in the eyes > silence View Thread 01/14/23(Sat)22:22:34 No.892624203 >>892622916 (OP) # shame on you, young man

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Anonymous 12/15/24(Sun)10:23:22 No.697372507 149_.jpg 33 KB JPG >Start having fun playing a game >Realize I'm 31 with no wife or kids and no job >Game is no longer fun Anonymous 12/15/24(Sun)10:25:23 No.697372593 >Start having fun playing a game >Realize I'm 31 with no wife or kids and no job >"Oh boy I get to play this game all night!" 80 KB JPG >>697374028 # >>697374591 # >>697375023 # >>697379734 # >>697382240 # >>697383223 # >>697384149 # >>697384560 # >>697384732 # >>697385573 # >>697385974 #

Anonymous (ID: NABivcoz 05/07/20(Thu)16:51:36 No.256576962 file.png 1.6 MB PNG Help how do I stop my jewish room mate from doing this?

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Anon is Software Engineer | /r/Greentext

onymous 4 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:05:21 No.890500 >work remote >get paid 100k/yr >play video games most of my shift This cant be sustainable

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Anon makes kitty tan | /r/Greentext

File: 1341261033544.gif (823 KB, 200x200) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)20:29:11 No.22090584 ► >>22090711 >>22090401 (OP) "hey so what did you think of these? i put out some feelers and found an agent who likes the direction." Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:34:22 No.22092362 ► >>22092429 Post the drawing you s---- >>22090925 >>22091024 MUMMY FOUND MY HENTAI DRAWING Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)20:23:14 No 220904012209045722090584>>2209243922092535>>22092615 Well /r9k/, I f------ blew it. I'm so humiliated and stunned that I can barely type. Today I woke up at 2 PM and went downstairs where mummy was reading in the next room, and I noticed a stack of papers. I saw it was my handwriting so I started sifting through it. At the very end of the stack I saw a picture I had drawn a year or two ago of a naked cat girl slave. It included a f------ creepily written bio about how she'd been kidnapped and trained and "hated mouth-breeding lots!" I think mummy and daddy saw it. There's no way they didn't see. it. I went into the next room, shaking, and she didn't look up at me. How can I possibly proceed? Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)20:25:05 No.22090457► >>22090627 >>22090401 (OP) Act like nothing happened. >>22092362 Here it is. I just hope they didn't read through the whole thing. Kitty-tan would be so embarrassed. Anonymous 09/06/15 (Sun)21:37:59 No.22092455 ► File: 1439927360507.jpg (14 KB, 451x600 >>22092429 >Age: 12 yrs >>22092429 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)20:26:50 No 22090511 ► reality check. time to get your life in order Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:38:29 No.22092465>>22092582 File: 1425365365851.jpg (28 KB, 185x594) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:36:59 No.2209242922992455>>22092465>>22092488 >>22992491 >>2209249222092509>>220925212209253822002554>>22092564>>2209257122092573 >>22092590 >>22992597 >>22082609 >>22092611 >>22092615>>22092626 >>22092631 >>22092638 >>22092648 >>72092656 >>22092668 File: hmmm.jpg (301 KB, 743x986) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:39:14 No.22092488 ► File: tear the flesh.jpg (20 KB, 332x352) >>22092429 >>22092429 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:55:51 No.22092965 File: greaheheasy.gif (105 KB, 640x480) >>22092429 This is f----- JUST Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:39:21 No 22092492 ► File: 1429325381718.jpg (179 KB, 1107x448) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:39:19 No.220924912222092574 >>22092429 Enjoy getting forced to go to therapy and having your family think you're a p-------- r-----. Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:39:54 No 22092509 ► File: 1429111692282 jpg (47 KB, 604x400) >>22092429 >12 yrs Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:40:19 No. 22092521 ► File: 1296784334123.jpg (36 KB, 357x354) >>22092429 >>Age: 12 yrs 22092429 kill yourself my man Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:57:33 No.22093009 ► File: wtfm8.jpg (27 KB, 450x320) Jesus Christ, OP. Anonymous 09/06/15 (Sun)22:15:06 No.22093527 ► >>22092429 English translation: Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:55:40 No. 1431360363118.jpg (68 KB, 645x773) >mouth mating >>22092429 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:51 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:41:01 No.22092538 File: AbsoluteHooligans.png (338 KB, 471x407) >>22092429 IM WEAK ■ File: 133905.jpg this is wrong. >>22095253 It's over. You're done. AND THEN... www 09/06/ Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21 File: Eddie MurphyReaction.gif (99) >I say I don't need any help, I try to push past them >mom starts tearing up >jog downstairs and get into my car >drive a couple miles but realize I'm almost out of gas >have to pull into the parking lot of a bookstore >>22090401 (OP) >>22092429 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:15:57 No.22093551 ► >>22092429 After reading this 2222093527 you are F-----. Hope you enjoy living in a van down by the river File: yourealmosthere.jpg (52 KB, 960x600) >>22092429 Yeah you're f----- man, killing yourself is definitely the best option You're almost here Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)23:01:46 No.22094919 File: 1437626537727.png (1.66 MB, 1046x706) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:43:28 No.22092609 File: joeroge.png (262 KB, 446x456) It's me again. closed the thread, hid the picture >hear the lady and my parents talking >hear them walking up the stairs, heart's pounding like crazy >I hear a knock on the door >>22092429 HELIUM L I listed that cat gir's age and it was 12. I have a little sister around that age M Holy f------ s--- why would you actually write the age, and on a physical thing anybody could find!?!?! >just sit on the trunk of the car for about two hours, phone's almost dead, at 2% >it's dark out, I don't know where I am >It opens and the lady is there with my mom behind her >she looks around my incredibly messy room and looks back to me with a look of immense pity > just look back at her. >my mom tells me that this is Dr. whatever and she's treated my uncle and I can trust her >I've never seen that look on my mom's face before Age 12 yrs Training Kitty ten was abdude home from schod on her out two months blind in one eye, the behaves jus like o what kitty-dan ceally hates, though, is mouth- maling. She's even throw up a couple of times! F------ idiot, they're probably discussing whether to call the police or get a psychiatrist or something Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:16:20 No 22093562 File: staying (40 KB, 960x640) Age: 12 Yrs reason i stray from /fa/ Training Kitty-dan was abducted on her way home from school two months ago. At first, she was a very bad kitty! didn't enjoy breeding time at all, and even fought against it! But after being beaten, beaten so badly that she was blind in one eye, she behaves just like a perfect kitty slave. The blind eye isn't so bad, the master thinks the eyes are cute! Now, Kitty-dan even sobs less when she's mating, and when she does it's much greater. What Kitty-dan really hates, though, is mouth-mating. She's even thrown up a couple of times! Mitcom At first, she was aje I am cady (for you, master, a vece bad kitty, she didn't ans. breeding time at all, and even Anonymous 09/06/15 (Sun)21:50:42 No.22092821 fought against 1 But aftebe ile Godspenst met godispett.) (16 KB, 217x325) beaten, beuten so badly that she ne Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:47:04 No.2209447522094528 >>22094527>>22094558 >>22094567 >>22094568 >>22094585>>22094590 >>22094605>>22094617 File: 1420435031597.png (238 KB, 1136x640) >>22093527 man, this is some weapons-grade autism stuff like this is the perfect kitt slave The Hind eye isn`t & bust, the Mast □ Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:51:32 No 22092845 File: 1429459953690.ing (40 KB, 536x284) thinks the eyearths intel Now, kit tantu even sobs less when des moting, and when she does, it's much quieke Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:43:33 No 22092611222092727 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22 24:20 No.220937922209380722093809>>22093828 >>22093834>>2209383522093836 >>22093839 File: 1439618391543.jpg (63 KB, 500x392) >>22092429 You... Are... F----- Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:44:35 No.22092638 ► File: 1439805931627.jpg (107 KB, 800x586) >>22092429 your life sounds awful Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:44:56 No.22092648 ► File: Ghostbusted.png (71 KB, 250x250) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:50:07 No.22092800 > >>22092817 just say shes 12 in cat years Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:50:39 No.22092817 ► >>22092800 Genius Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:57:53 No.22093013 >>22099051 File: 1439012799117.jpg (13 KB, 480x480) DoomedAnon IcQ6uVHd Pc 09/07/15(Mon)02:32:27 No 2210122522101263 >>22101269>>22101284>>22101295>>22101297 >>22101319 >>22101320 >>22101322 >>22101331 >>22101343 >>22101351 >>22101375>>22101379 >>22101380 >>22101390 >>22101407 >>22101412>>22101413 >>22101448 2210148722101499 >>22101502 >>22101559 File: kittytan.jpg (1.05 MB, 2448x3264) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:17:34 No.22093587 File: fsdaf.png (229 KB, 331x360) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:47:32 No.220927272209280722092869 >>22092958 >>22092611 It says her pre-abduction name. I forget what it was, I already put the picture away, I can't look at it pre-abduction name Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:01:42 No 22093142 File: bubblesgif18.gif (483 KB, 284x200) Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:50:22 No.220 Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)21:55:39 No 22092958 File: 1429111497219.jpg (933 KB, 2133x1200) File: JUST.jpg (19 KB, 217x320) "I'M FREE, I'M FREE, I'LL ALWAYS BE FREE," >send the name of the bookstore to my friend, he picks me up Looks like I'll be at his place for a while. This is a bit f-----. Don't worry guys, things will work out. Also, I have a better picture of Kitty-tan. This will have to be the last one since I don't have the drawing in my possession anymore. I guess my car will just stay at the lot. >>22092727 Sher pre-abduction name Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)23:20:04 No 22095499 DoomedAnon IcQ6uVHd Pc 09/06/15(Sun)23:13:00 No.2209525322095281 2222095284>>22095285>>22095288220952962222095302 22220953052-22095320 2222095321222095322->22095324 e: pet wigs_1.jpg (300 KB, 600x713) File: image.jpg (352 KB, 2448x3264) this car just pulled up and a lady came out. I don't recognize the car or the woman but i know i afm completely f-----, guys, please remember me. >>22092429 oh my god you need to bail dude >>22092429 What does the above the age say? >>22093013 Hey man, we get it. Life's rough sometimes: just ask Ellen. OP here. I don't know what the immediate future holds but I'm not going to do anything drastic. Not until I'm confronted about it. It's possible I can live the rest of my life with the knowledge that Kitty-tan is burned into my parents' minds. If I'm kicked out, I'll join the military. I have some anime figures in the mail so that might be rough >>22092429 Rip-OP Just be an hero already. If you know for a fact that you about it. See you on the other side, OP >>22092869 Turns out it was Ellen. There's also a food bowl at her feet which you can't see in the picture. I don't know guys, this seems pretty bad. My mom always talks about how pedophiles should be given the death penalty. I don't see a good way out of this one. OP here. I can hear them talking, they have so much venom in their voices. I don't have any money. How can I run? I'm so f-----. I can hardly move. I'm just looking at the sky. DoomedAnon IcQ6uVHdIPc 09/07/15(Mon)02:39:51 No.22101435>>22101487221015212210156722101600 >>22101617 >>22101375 >>22101380 (You) >>22101413 Actually when I was driving away it was one of the most intense and euphoric feelings I've ever experienced. I just started yelling "TM FREE, IM FREE, ILL ALWAYS BE FREE," I was on such an adrenaline rush. OP, you need to convince them that this isn't about p---------, but rather, it's about b---------, if you can comvince them that you're not interested in little girls but instead are interested in cats. the age thing will all make sense, that's an average age for a cat, and depending on what state your in kitty p---- could be legal, if not then just move states. there, fixed everything. you're welcome OP >>22092429 It's over OP >>22092429 You absolute mong Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:16:02 No.22093554 File: 1441157759198.gif (1.88 MB, 288x288) >>22093527 >>22092727 You can't play us like that, you're already f----- man. Just tell us euphoric Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:01:30 No 22093130 File: 1386511247644.jpg (36 KB, 1193x715) your family own a gun? Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)22:33:52 No.22094 File: 1441562264837.jpg (42 KB, 453x500) >>22092429 >>22093013 > There's also a food bowl at her feet Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)23:01:46 No.22094 File: 121213133.jpg (58 KB, 720x960) GODSPEED OP m8, it's over. Does Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)23:18:38 No. 22095442 ► >>22095253 JUMP OUT THE WINDOW RUN INTO THE WOODS >>22101225 >on the run HOLY F------ S--- Anonymous 09/06/15(Sun)23:18:49 No 22095447 File: worriedlaughter png (301 KB, 520x678) Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)02:38:14 No.22101390 File: b509614c_tumblr_mzapuu6VS).jpg (85 KB, 600x600) >>22092429 Jesus Christ. Womied laughter Anonymous 09/07/15(Mon)02:37:38 No.22101380 >>22101435 File: VaderChillin With The 501st.jpg (59 KB. 350x489) >>22101225 best of luck, anon >>22095253 YOU ARE F------ DEAD MAN IT'S GAME OVER

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Harry Potter and the Wand in his Pants | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/23(Sat)17:01:48 No.179208492 >An eery silence filled the atmosphere as Voldemort strided towards Harry. Adrenaline filled Harry's veins as he stepped closer, closer. Each step awoke a lair of dragons in his chest, filling its chambers with a fiery hate that Harry never knew even existed. Closer, Voldemort came, and the snakes in Harry's stomach kept writhing around viciously, each fighting for the opportunity to escape in the most painful way imaginable. 44 KB JPG >Then, Voldemort stopped. He stood at an arms length of Harry, and paused for what felt like an eternity. Voldemort's eyes met Harry's. "So much like your mother's eyes," Harry thought he'd say. Instead, he kept quiet. His stare burned more than any words ever could. Harry had to do something; he wouldn't cower away. Harry looked right back at him in defiance, and allowed his eyes to drink up Voldemort's features. There was no denying it. Even this thing he'd become after all these years could win over the heart of any fair maiden. >Harry suddenly became aware of his body. The dragons screamed hatred in his chest. The snakes planted their fangs deeper, and deeper into his stomach. He felt his blood coursing through his veins. Then he realised where it was headed. >In a heartbeat, Harry drew his wand. Voldemort never even flinched. "He doesn't fear me," Harry thought. Merely the cold, beautiful stare of the murderer, the soulless monster, that lived behind those menacing, mesmerising eyes could instil fear in even the bravest of hearts. >Harry's blood reached its destination, and he knew he wouldn't have much time left. The moment to act was now. >For a brief moment, Harry almost felt like embracing his fate. "No," Harry thought. He grasped his wand tightly in his hand, drawing from deep within him the tickling feeling that is magic, and uttered: "No h---."

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Context: what op was replying to was a thread about why men want the, “he asked for no pickles” meme to be a reality for them. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri) 10:46:17 No.624196373 File: 1529292521446.png (464 KB, 853x480) >>624196893 >>624197052 >>624201832 >>624205851 >>624190342 (OP) >back in high school >go on field trip >go to big food court after field trip >near the end of it, figure I'll just get a chocolate banana shake for the road, treat myself >sip in >just chocolate, none of that artificial Gros michel sweet banana taste >oh well, we gotta go, chocolate is fine >girlfriend demands some of my shake as her right >anon didn't you order chocolate banana I heard you say banana I don't taste banana >nah it's cool we're leaving anyway it's not like I lost money or anything >no we gotta get this fixed >tfw everybody else already on the bus >tfw walking out to a line of idling buses just waiting for us >tfw walking all the way to the back of the bus to our friend group with the shake that held everybody up Every time I see a "he asked for no pickles" picture I relive this.

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Anon is scared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Phantom S--- 03/02/18(Fri) 13:32:59 No.43574613 I'm writing this right after this happened and I'm scared > Be me > Go to take a s--- > Physically feel s--- leave my ass > Look down for results > No s--- in the toilet bowl 39 KB JPG > whatthefuck.png Is my s--- haunted what the f---. Mandela effect? Help. I'm scared.

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Anon comes to a realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous M 70 KB PNG 09/24/21(Fri)03:09:16 No.86370478 >incels think they are entitle to sex >commies think they're entitled to other people's money Are commies just economic incels?

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Anon is full of helpful advise, among other things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 340 KB PNG : Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)21:57:43 No./1815207 >>71815555 # >haven't fapped in many days >horny af >decide to put things up my ass >just feels like I'm s------- and its really uncomfortable I fell for the meme : Anonymous >>71815207 (OP) # i'm gay, and tried fingering my ass (used lotion/albolene as lube two separate occassions) and it barely feels like anything for me. : Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)22:32:08 No.71815511 01/13/23(Fri)22:34:04 No.71815525 its feels *kinda* nice having something shoved up there but it's nothing that would make me c--. i've just accepted that i'm probably a top 01/13/23(Fri)22:37:20 No.71815554 01/13/23(Fri)22:37:22 No.71815555 : Anonymous >>71815525 # >fingering Of course you can't really feel anything, it's basically impossible to reach it with your fingers properly. If you guys are really opposed to buying a proper prostate massager (They're only $60), take a drum stick, put a condom on it, lube that up, and hit your prostate.

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The reason anon loves Japanese people | /r/Greentext

Yuji Sakai (Deceased) No. 10566850 false the reason i like japanese people is cause they have like really small eyes and stuff and i really like that cause i have a very small weird penis Your fortune: Average Luck 1 reply 2 posters

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ɹǝpun uʍop puɐl ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ sᴉ uou∀ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SvtK80i9) 02/16/16(Tu >live in Australia >someone tries to rob my house >notice his ground-harness is a bit rusty >throw boomerang at it >it breaks >laugh as he falls into the sun

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anon is a schizo-pilled sigma male | /r/Greentext

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Sweet dreams are made of this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HERSTE 78 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)17:01:17 No.71821264 > be me > troglodyte tier sleep schedule > fall asleep at ~05:00, wake ~14:00 > spend entire week trying to fix it using Monster energy and loud alarm clock > Think I actually fixed it > ffw to today > Got too comfy watching youtube in my couch > Fell asleep > Just woke 5min ago > My sleep schedule is now 09:00-17:00 > Mfw New semester starts this monday, I'm f-----. :<

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Anon needs enlightenment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4 hours ago 10 REPLIES Anonymous 4 hours ago >onions image >thread hidden :) Anonymous 4 hours ago >>71816734 (OP) because the people who made him up needed labor during harsh conditions to continue living lavish lifestyles (for the time of course). 71816734 >If you kill yourself because your life is s---, you WILL spend the rest of eternity in Hell Why is he like this? Anonymous 4 hours ago >play game >game is hard 71816752 >quit game Does this look like winning? 71816761 Anonymous 4 hours ago >>71816734 (OP) I don't think it's 100% settled, but it makes sense. >You're committing the sin of taking a life >since you are taking your own life, there is no opportunity to repent and be forgiven for the sin also Christ said we need to endure till the end. >your life is s--- 71816766 the fact you have a phone/pc to post on the internet proves you have it better than millions of people on earth who are not suicidal. This is a YOU problem. What makes your life so terrible? No gf? Fat? What steps have you taken to improve your life? 2 REPLIES 71816769

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Greentext Stories - Anons grandma visits | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous embarassed 5 KB JPG myself 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 107 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)21:57:23 No.892622916 >grandma visits >excitedly run downstairs >my balls slap my thigh >produce the mightiest clap >everyone looks me in the eyes > silence View Thread 01/14/23(Sat)22:22:34 No.892624203 >>892622916 (OP) # shame on you, young man

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