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File: 752489BD-CD6A-46E3-A34D-EB0E61090920.jpg (789 KB, 1485x2048) Anonymous 01/16/23 (Mon)15:26:19 No.71847610 [Reply] ► >>71848746 >>71848749 >>71848766 >order a pizza >bill comes out to $20.65 >have exactly $20.65, plus a bowl full of pennies for the tip, because I'm broke today >pizza gets here >qt delivery girl >nervously apologize for the small tip and try and hand her the penny bowl >pennies drop >spaghetti and coins all over the ground >apologize more and try to help pick them up, but I'm too shaky to effectively grab the pennies >finally we gather all the money, and I get my pizza >"Enjoy your pizza" and a fake smile >my brain desperately tries to come up with something cool to say to salvage this girl's impression of me >"You too" and slam the door How was your morning?

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon's house needs another bathroom | /r/Greentext

15 KB JPG >have one toilet >sister is in there putting on makeup or something for what feels like hours >have to take s--- >at this point im crossing my legs in a double pretzel knot and flailing around >cant hold it >gonna s--- the next time my colon pushes >make a dash out the backdoor to the backyard >take huge s--- in the middle of the yard >pull up pants and walk into kitchen to get napkins to wipe with >fast forward to next day >me and my dad go out in the backyard to do some yardwork >dad calls me over >"what in gods name is your mother feeding the dogs?" >i-i dont know dad... >"jesus christ almighty...get your mother out here" >go inside and bring mother out >my mom looks at it >"good god!!!" >sister comes outside to see whats going on >"ewww" >mfw my entire family is crowded around my s--- looking at it like its a dinosaur egg >dad looks at me >"son go get the shovel and toss this over the fence" >yes sir >toss my s--- over the fence >my parents start feeding our dogs half of what they regularly get >its either that or i confess >im sorry jack and carly but looks like you're going on a diet and taking one for the team

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Anon attempts to flirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BORN 10 70 KB JPG 10/15/21 (Fri)19:24:49 No.65773140 >be me >Austrian, so mandatory military service >at physical exam >doctor asks me if I am in a relationship (obviously no) >"Why not? You are a handsome young man!" >"You want my number?" >She sends me out >A few mins later the officer comes and shouts at me that I "sexually harrassed the doctor"

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Anon is faced with the The problem of evil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)15:36:19 No.71847693 >Worked out >ate healthy >Didn't get vaxxed >Still got cancer >29 years old When did you find out God was evil?

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anon finds a girl on chaturbate | /r/Greentext

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anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 01/16/23(Mon)02:46:57 No.892717745 >be me, at work tonight >work in a restaurant >hostesses at the front have been jokingly teasing me all night >tell me that the other guys on shift are alpha males and I'm a p---- cat >doesn't bother me at all >end of night rolls around, one of the girls is doing reciepts >decide I'm gonna get her with a zinger >walk up and start poking her in the side of her arm >"damn, what's your routine?" >she's not even fat >this girl gets out of her chair, does a lap around the restuaraunt >comes back and her face is beet red, she's crying hysterically >calls me a c--- and tells me to go f--- myself Am I gonna get written up for this?

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to be safe is never to be (in)secure | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB PNG >no stress 01/11/23(Wed)20:58:17 why do incels care about girls so much? friends >laughter >good times >support girlfriend >have to worry about cheating No.71787140 >jealousy >breakups >have to worry about your appearance View Thread

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Anon knows a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Life Hacks 07/23/19(Tue)11:10:55 No.53534008 >be me >Go to twitch >make a new account with real name >Search for low viewer female streamers. 147 KB PNG >Click follow. >9 of 10 times she will say my name and some qt s--- >save the clip Everytime i need some human interaction i just open a video of a qt3.14 saying my name

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Anon explains why Velma exists | /r/Greentext

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Anon is an NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)02:16:17 No.71845253 472 KB PNG >had a shower this morning >forgot I put my towel in the laundry >decide the best way to dry is to just stand still for a while >if I extend my arms and space my legs apart, I can maximize the surface area of my body exposed to the air >stand like this for a while >after a while I get bored and walk across my room >glance out the window >someone quickly moves from the window in an adjacent building >someone was watching me T pose naked for 10 minutes : Anonymous >>71845253 (OP) # Well now they re creating a thread on plebbit about how theo npc neighbour crashed and froze t posing. 01/16/23 (Mon)02:24:54 No.71845321

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Anon still has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DEC 8 1998 32 KB JPG 01/15/23(Sun)20:21:17 No.71837020 >send picture of myself to a girl online after she verifies that she's a real woman by showing me her driver's license >don't get blocked immediately well i guess things aren't over yet huh

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Anon wants more bang for his buck! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.32 MB GIF 01/16/23(Mon)00:29:02 No.71844092 >escort I've been seeing is overcharging me on the same services given to another dude at a lower price : Anonymous 01/16/23(Mon)00:31:31 No.71844112 Not even trying to be a d--- about it, but you're probably uglier than the other guy. She needs more money for it to be worthwhile. Like if you could f--- a pretty girl for $200 or an ugly girl for $100, would you feel bad for not giving as much money to the ugly girl? Even in the sex industry, women continue to hurt me. >>71844131 # >>71844199 # >>71844146 # : Anonymous >>71844112 # Always have to find a blue pill in everything don't you friend >>71844199 # 01/16/23(Mon)00:33:57 No.71844131 : Anonymous >>71844092 (OP) # Start hitting the gym and get better at grooming. Impress your escort. 01/16/23(Mon)00:34:57 No.71844138

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Anon doesn't like dogs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f------ need help 27 KB JPG 01/13/23(Fri)16:18:50 No.4408056 >be me. 23 >Green Bay, Wi >little brother and mother brought dogs >brother's dog is a mid-sized puppy from a friend >mother's three dogs are small dogs from a failed farming venture in Ohlkahoma >They don't bother taking them to potty >The garage reeks of piss >suggested they get litter boxes. >they refused >l_want_to_die.mp4 >plz help >I don't want to spend on these dogs >I feel like I want to puke every day.

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Greentext Stories - Anon had a pleasant morning | /r/Greentext

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File: 752489BD-CD6A-46E3-A34D-EB0E61090920.jpg (789 KB, 1485x2048) Anonymous 01/16/23 (Mon)15:26:19 No.71847610 [Reply] ► >>71848746 >>71848749 >>71848766 >order a pizza >bill comes out to $20.65 >have exactly $20.65, plus a bowl full of pennies for the tip, because I'm broke today >pizza gets here >qt delivery girl >nervously apologize for the small tip and try and hand her the penny bowl >pennies drop >spaghetti and coins all over the ground >apologize more and try to help pick them up, but I'm too shaky to effectively grab the pennies >finally we gather all the money, and I get my pizza >"Enjoy your pizza" and a fake smile >my brain desperately tries to come up with something cool to say to salvage this girl's impression of me >"You too" and slam the door How was your morning?

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