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Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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This greentext was written by a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 923 KB JPG >cute >funny >friendly 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs >easy to find why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

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Anon lost his master | /r/Greentext

No.179379603 File: dying-yoda-return-of-the-(...).jpg (171 KB, 1280x720) >>179374914 (OP). >me 20 6/10 nerd >her 8/10 cutie spanish girl >first and only people either of has ever done anything sexual with Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)22:56:18 >be good friends for 6 month but both too awkward >be on Vanilla WOW JUST getting a tank for Sunken Temple >get a call from her telling me no one is home, NO ONE IS HOME >tell my group im about to lose my virginity >group goes wild wishes me luck >head over >both nervouse >throw on retuen of the jedi and we start awkwardly fooling around >put my penis in and look over >yoda and my virginty are gone

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh...no...uhhh...c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." Best dad ever.

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L notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)06:05:53 No. 173095521 File: original.png (603 KB, 1280x720) >>173095708 >>173095445 (OP) >LIGHTI >Despite being just 13% of the population, 50% of names in this notebook belong to african americans. >Explain yourself immediately.

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Anon goes whale-watching | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPEG 1/17/2023,7:51:17 PM > NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SPENDING $100 A WEEK ON MY PHONE GAME IS IRRESPONSIBLE > LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS I f------ hate talking to people No.34470495

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Anon should have said Gloc and he won't be bullied anymore. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed 430 KB PNG > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon wants to tell you about the best sandwich he's ever had. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)00:01:43 No.18698453 ► >>18698491 >>18698605 File: YGOQHnt0Gfl.jpg (78 KB, 1280x720) "Lemme tell ya bout the best f-----' sanwich I eva had, I got one of dose giant gummy bears and put it thru a deli slicer, an put that s--- on some f-----' poptarts, I ain't f-----' aroun here Joe Rogan, the gummy? Got it off a guy I know down in Queens, lemme tell ya sumthin, that m--------- had enough THC to turn 6 elephants retarded and I ate the whole f----- thing on the way here tonight. You're in for a wild ride Roe Jogan cause I aint tell ya the worse part, the gummy was sugar free, an I ate the whole f----- thing. I locked the doors Joe Jogan, I stuffed the vents, that humidifier is pumping out a ridiculous amount of DMT, were fighting god tonight Roe Rogan, an I'm gonna s--- all over that cocksuckers carpet"

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Anon knows the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/17(Mon)23:49:59 No.35677680 >>35677741 >>35677803 >>35677844 >>35677916 >>35677958>>35677968>>356779 1482125768052.png (349 KB, 757x632) >be me >see through roasty deceit at an early age >girls in elementary school always telling me I was handsome and had nice hair >knew they were really making fun of me in secret coded women speak >tell them to stop talking about me and punch them in the jaw >female teacher comes in and sends me home for the day >f------ roasty solidarity >dumb girls stop bothering me >girls in middle school always asking me out >I knew they were only doing it as a prank >tell them to f--- off and throw their books out the window >they stop trying to prank me >mission accomplished.jpg >play soccer over the summer >get really hot and take off my jersey >some crazy roasty bitch from my math class steals it >find her house and take a s--- on the welcome matt >in highschool >some girl starts hanging around me >obviously just wants me to do her homework for her >tell her to leave me alone and also go f--- herself >roastard keeps talking to me >eventually tells me she wants to go out with me >she wants money and slave labor from me >tell her she's human garbage and that I'll never date her and hope no one else ever does >2 weeks later she pull out the full roast arsenal and melodramatically "attempts suicide" >her dumb c--- friends ask me to visit her >hell no.png >tell them to jump in a pit and never to talk to me again >working at a diner the summer after I graduated >some female coworker mistakes my politeness for friendship >starts talking to me and asking if I want to hang out outside of work >tell her I'm busy and to stop asking >one day she calls me into the womens room to unclog the toilet >typical roasty, can't do anything by herself >go in >toilet is fine >coworker pushes up against me and starts taking her shirt off >she starts to take mine off too >clearly trying to get me blamed for sexual harassment and sue the business to make a quick buck >don't fall for her tricks >punch her in the gut >leave the bathroom call the police and the manager >she gets fired

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anon cracks his back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 01/17/23(Tue)23:19:53 No.892812207 > Be me > Taking my sister to hospital for a routine thing > In waiting room > Back feels weird > Do the ol' twist and crack > Solid second of noise as my spine pops everywhere > Bliss.jpg > Fell my entire back relax afterwards > Woman gives me a weird look and moves away > Continues to give me the side eye like she's afraid of me > Sister finished her thing > Leave without saying a thing

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Anon visists his Boss's house | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)11:00:58 No.71858832 ✓ >>71858859 >>71858947 >>71858960 >>71859344 TIL even Gigachads have autism >great software dev company for some reason opened a branch in my 3rd world country >somehow got internship and later hired >half of the others hired literally have never stuided CS or programming >this makes me seem pretty competent in comparison >eventually get to know the director and we have pretty similar personalities >everyone loves this guy, men and women >he's also very good, first person i met that actually meets those "10X developper" descriptions >basically a gigachad in every way >hang out with him a lot outside work >eventually invites me to dinner in his house(he has a wife so no h---) >while walking through his (luxiourious) house, i find a weird picture in his home office/PC room >it's a monkey staring at the cameraman, looking bothered funnyape.jpg >keep looking at it >it's hanged very low >only explanation is that the monkey is looking up, locking eyes with the viewer hmm.wav >ask him later about the monkey >"AH! that's my hard work monkey!" the wut >"when i am working, i get distracted by games on my phone or youtube on my PC, if that happens i just look at the monkey and he judges me" >"he doesn't speak but you can tell he's disappointed, and i don't want to disappoint my monkey friend so i go back to work!" i thought he was joking, but his wife told me the same story. tf?

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Anon is in vietnam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wat 150 KB PNG 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw

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Anon is a spastic possum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Skinwalker in Eastern Europe 12 KB PNG 01/17/23(Tue)14:58:21 No.33863692 > be me > 10 yo > coming home after karate training > it is dark outside already > my housing estate is on the other side of a badly lit forest park > hear noises from the dark, off the road > I instantly think it's a f------ skinwalker > I live in Eastern Europe, but I was f------ retarded and watched too many scary stuff at that time > start panicking > get a brilliant idea > I heard a true crime story where the victim just started acting retarded and crazy to ward off the attacker > decide to try it out > start spasming, twitching and gurgling > fall on the ground and double down on being retard > after good 5 minutes I think to myself I scared the skinwalker away > run home > go to bed > next day neighbor comes to talk with my mom about how he saw me spasming on the ground while walking his dog > get appointment at the psychiatrist > they put me on 5 different meds for the next 8 years > mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon "accidentally" raped his friend | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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