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Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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This greentext was written by a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 923 KB JPG >cute >funny >friendly 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs >easy to find why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

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Anon lost his master | /r/Greentext

No.179379603 File: dying-yoda-return-of-the-(...).jpg (171 KB, 1280x720) >>179374914 (OP). >me 20 6/10 nerd >her 8/10 cutie spanish girl >first and only people either of has ever done anything sexual with Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)22:56:18 >be good friends for 6 month but both too awkward >be on Vanilla WOW JUST getting a tank for Sunken Temple >get a call from her telling me no one is home, NO ONE IS HOME >tell my group im about to lose my virginity >group goes wild wishes me luck >head over >both nervouse >throw on retuen of the jedi and we start awkwardly fooling around >put my penis in and look over >yoda and my virginty are gone

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh...no...uhhh...c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." Best dad ever.

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L notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)06:05:53 No. 173095521 File: original.png (603 KB, 1280x720) >>173095708 >>173095445 (OP) >LIGHTI >Despite being just 13% of the population, 50% of names in this notebook belong to african americans. >Explain yourself immediately.

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Anon goes whale-watching | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPEG 1/17/2023,7:51:17 PM > NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SPENDING $100 A WEEK ON MY PHONE GAME IS IRRESPONSIBLE > LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS I f------ hate talking to people No.34470495

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Anon should have said Gloc and he won't be bullied anymore. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed 430 KB PNG > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon wants to tell you about the best sandwich he's ever had. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)00:01:43 No.18698453 ► >>18698491 >>18698605 File: YGOQHnt0Gfl.jpg (78 KB, 1280x720) "Lemme tell ya bout the best f-----' sanwich I eva had, I got one of dose giant gummy bears and put it thru a deli slicer, an put that s--- on some f-----' poptarts, I ain't f-----' aroun here Joe Rogan, the gummy? Got it off a guy I know down in Queens, lemme tell ya sumthin, that m--------- had enough THC to turn 6 elephants retarded and I ate the whole f----- thing on the way here tonight. You're in for a wild ride Roe Jogan cause I aint tell ya the worse part, the gummy was sugar free, an I ate the whole f----- thing. I locked the doors Joe Jogan, I stuffed the vents, that humidifier is pumping out a ridiculous amount of DMT, were fighting god tonight Roe Rogan, an I'm gonna s--- all over that cocksuckers carpet"

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Anon knows the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/17(Mon)23:49:59 No.35677680 >>35677741 >>35677803 >>35677844 >>35677916 >>35677958>>35677968>>356779 1482125768052.png (349 KB, 757x632) >be me >see through roasty deceit at an early age >girls in elementary school always telling me I was handsome and had nice hair >knew they were really making fun of me in secret coded women speak >tell them to stop talking about me and punch them in the jaw >female teacher comes in and sends me home for the day >f------ roasty solidarity >dumb girls stop bothering me >girls in middle school always asking me out >I knew they were only doing it as a prank >tell them to f--- off and throw their books out the window >they stop trying to prank me >mission accomplished.jpg >play soccer over the summer >get really hot and take off my jersey >some crazy roasty bitch from my math class steals it >find her house and take a s--- on the welcome matt >in highschool >some girl starts hanging around me >obviously just wants me to do her homework for her >tell her to leave me alone and also go f--- herself >roastard keeps talking to me >eventually tells me she wants to go out with me >she wants money and slave labor from me >tell her she's human garbage and that I'll never date her and hope no one else ever does >2 weeks later she pull out the full roast arsenal and melodramatically "attempts suicide" >her dumb c--- friends ask me to visit her >hell no.png >tell them to jump in a pit and never to talk to me again >working at a diner the summer after I graduated >some female coworker mistakes my politeness for friendship >starts talking to me and asking if I want to hang out outside of work >tell her I'm busy and to stop asking >one day she calls me into the womens room to unclog the toilet >typical roasty, can't do anything by herself >go in >toilet is fine >coworker pushes up against me and starts taking her shirt off >she starts to take mine off too >clearly trying to get me blamed for sexual harassment and sue the business to make a quick buck >don't fall for her tricks >punch her in the gut >leave the bathroom call the police and the manager >she gets fired

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anon cracks his back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 01/17/23(Tue)23:19:53 No.892812207 > Be me > Taking my sister to hospital for a routine thing > In waiting room > Back feels weird > Do the ol' twist and crack > Solid second of noise as my spine pops everywhere > Bliss.jpg > Fell my entire back relax afterwards > Woman gives me a weird look and moves away > Continues to give me the side eye like she's afraid of me > Sister finished her thing > Leave without saying a thing

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Anon visists his Boss's house | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)11:00:58 No.71858832 ✓ >>71858859 >>71858947 >>71858960 >>71859344 TIL even Gigachads have autism >great software dev company for some reason opened a branch in my 3rd world country >somehow got internship and later hired >half of the others hired literally have never stuided CS or programming >this makes me seem pretty competent in comparison >eventually get to know the director and we have pretty similar personalities >everyone loves this guy, men and women >he's also very good, first person i met that actually meets those "10X developper" descriptions >basically a gigachad in every way >hang out with him a lot outside work >eventually invites me to dinner in his house(he has a wife so no h---) >while walking through his (luxiourious) house, i find a weird picture in his home office/PC room >it's a monkey staring at the cameraman, looking bothered funnyape.jpg >keep looking at it >it's hanged very low >only explanation is that the monkey is looking up, locking eyes with the viewer hmm.wav >ask him later about the monkey >"AH! that's my hard work monkey!" the wut >"when i am working, i get distracted by games on my phone or youtube on my PC, if that happens i just look at the monkey and he judges me" >"he doesn't speak but you can tell he's disappointed, and i don't want to disappoint my monkey friend so i go back to work!" i thought he was joking, but his wife told me the same story. tf?

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Anon is in vietnam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wat 150 KB PNG 09/24/18(Mon)23:23:35 No.48329553 >be me >Viet Cong >hear Fortunate Son in distance >mfw

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Anon is a spastic possum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Skinwalker in Eastern Europe 12 KB PNG 01/17/23(Tue)14:58:21 No.33863692 > be me > 10 yo > coming home after karate training > it is dark outside already > my housing estate is on the other side of a badly lit forest park > hear noises from the dark, off the road > I instantly think it's a f------ skinwalker > I live in Eastern Europe, but I was f------ retarded and watched too many scary stuff at that time > start panicking > get a brilliant idea > I heard a true crime story where the victim just started acting retarded and crazy to ward off the attacker > decide to try it out > start spasming, twitching and gurgling > fall on the ground and double down on being retard > after good 5 minutes I think to myself I scared the skinwalker away > run home > go to bed > next day neighbor comes to talk with my mom about how he saw me spasming on the ground while walking his dog > get appointment at the psychiatrist > they put me on 5 different meds for the next 8 years > mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon "accidentally" raped his friend | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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