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File: 7R308726.jpg (2.06 MB, 3984x2656) /dog/ - *sniff sniff* Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)08:12:06 No.4421224 *sniff sniff sniff* >>4417079 Showing all replies. >> Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)08:18:16 No.4421225 >>4421830 File: schlop.png (439 KB, 588x391) SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP

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Anonymous C 128 KB JPG 07/31/21(Sat) 10:53:56 No.154336324 >OH NOOO I HAVE A LOYAL SMOKING HOT WIFE WHO WANTS TO F--- ALL THE TIME, TWO CHILDREN, A BIG NICE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, AND A JOB THAT AFFORDS ME THESE THINGS AAAAHHH HELP ME why was american television like this in the 90s? : Anonymous That's the joke. 07/31/21(Sat) 10:54:42 No.154336353

Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG

Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently

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Anon realizes how much his blind sister loves him. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/02/14(Mon)19:17:20 No.11958216 ► >>11958244>>11958249 >>11958265 >>11958273 >>11958321 >>11958479 >>11958749 >>11958754 >>11959124>>11959538 File: 12546356785.jpg (113 KB, 839x1000) >tfw sister is blind >spent entire life looking after her >she would follow me around like a puppy even into her late teens >thought she was being annoying and always made jokes about her and called her names C >she pretended to think I was kidding and always laughed it off and made self depreciating jokes about herself >one day went to a mall in another city and ditched her as a mean spirited prank >watched what she did from a few feet away >she walked to the edge of the side wall and started yelling my name >a few passers looked at her weirdly but kept walking >she starts crying and sobbing my name >feel bad for her and people are starting to notice so pretend I was looking for her and go up to her >she hugs me quietly sobs and holds my hand until we get to the car >in the car starts crying and telling me how much she's always loved me and being sorry for being such a burden >mfw I realized I was a true monster

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Anon didn't get proper sex education | /r/Greentext

274 KB JPG >be me as a preteen >Sheltered, innocent >One day at school I hear the phrase "suck my d---" >I am confused as to what this means and I ask a friend >He says it's something adults do during sex >In my head I imagine a woman inserting a straw into a man's urethra and slurping the urine out >Fast forward a few years, enter puberty >Have feeling to masturbate >Remember people saying that sucking d--- feels good >I get a pack of straws >Tape a few together creating one long straw >Start inserting straw into urethra, it hurts like f--- >I can't take it anymore and let out a scream, my dad barges in >He screams >Fast forward another few years, my dad has taught me all I need to know I'm not the only one right

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Anon wants to become trans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/23(Sun)23:01:53 No.893496216 29 KB JPG >be t----- >ask doctor for diagnosis so i can get estrogen >have to take some tests >iq test >abit strange but ok >mental evaluation >full of questions like "do you have secret knowledge of high importance" and "are there people out to get you" View Thread

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Anon has Hep C | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Im finally getting there boys! 01/29/23(Sun)23:16:19 No.72022764 1 Reply 1651653507109.jpg 31 KB JPG >yellow patches developing on my skin >my s--- is getting more pale >on and off pains in my kidney and liver >spewing every morning Health scare is right around the corner now. Cheers robots, I can think of worse ways to die. View Thread

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“Shower daily” Id fuckin hope so, do you really want credit for that? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 11/29/21 (Mon)10:25:40 No.66351436 >be 6'5 >work hard every day for my looks >shower daily >lift weights and eat lots of protein >have a decent amount of muscle >"WOOOW anon you're so tall" I'm more than my height you know... : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:27:26 No.66351438 : Anonymous 11/29/21(Mon)10:29:04 No.66351446 >NOOO I HAVE AN OVERWHELMING ADVANTAGE WOE IS ME kys

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Anon isn’t fond of doctors | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Suppositories 32 KB PNG 01/30/23(Mon)12:58:53 No.893528767 >Go to doctor >"Here, let me stick this pill in your a------, you'll feel better" People believe this s---?

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Anon is curious about Chads "Fruit Roll" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 01/30/23(Mon)00:14:55 No.72023224 >current girlfriend shows me chats she had with her ex because they are supposedly funny >a bit weird but whatever >the guy is suprisingly handsome >for stat comparison, I am 5'4 dweeb twink, he is a 5'9 somewhat /fit/ man >read the actual chatlogs >"you want to hang out?" >"whats up?" >"uh?" >Any and all conversation attempts from the girl crashes against "uh-huh" and "k" and "cool" >not remotely involved and at best acts surface level questions and then replies with "k" >Fairly bigoted and /pol/-tardy, few more progressive statements from the girl actually provoke a reaction >Invited her somewhere once and once as an attempt to gain back her trust after she dumped him for me >under the pretence of "making a fruit roll" It keeps me up at night, what the f--- is a fruit roll?

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Anon fucking cooks his coworker in the office | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (21 KB, 251x201) نے 09/30/18(Sun)09:23:11 No.47829822 >>47829862 >>47829884 >>47829907 >>47829939 >>47829951 >>47829956 >>47829960 >>47830118 >>47830125 >>47830163 >>47830168 >>47830182 >>47830452 >>47830501 >>47830536 >>47830601 >>47830697 >>47830737 >>47830847 >>47830857 >>47831328 >>47832066 >>47832229 >>47832302 >>47832353 >>47832354 >>47832513 >>47832696 >>47833199 >>47833530 >>47833818 >>47833850 >>47834179 >>47834587 >>47834632 Anonymous >female coworker makes a joke at my expense about something I can't control (being bald) >I make a joke back about something she can control (being fat) >she goes home early and everybody is mad at me How was I the bad guy here? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)09:56:06 No.47830163 >>47830238 >>47829822 (OP) # What was her joke? And what did you answer? Anonymous 09/30/18(Sun)10:06:34 No.47830238 >>47830163 # >broke up with gf a few weeks ago (I ended it) >coworkers were talking about their exes (working with women is Hell) >>Anon, why don't you ever talk s--- about your ex? Didn't she break up with you because you were bald ha ha? >Ha ha, good one. Didn't you have a miscarriage because you're so fat?

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Anon has a thought | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 142 KB JPG 03/11/20(Wed)09:58:52 No.57114027 >driving down the road >thinking about how thin the line between life and death is >I could literally just turn the steering wheel and die >or would I? >throw the wheel to the left and fly into the ditch >don't die >car stuck in ditch I feel so retarded it's almost empowering

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Anon wishes he was black | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: 6d26d28193c3da1bf41721206(...).jpg (874 KB, 3024x4032) I unironically wish I was born in the black community. Anonymous 01/29/23(Sun)15:35:52 No.72017353 ► >>72017369 >be black man in his 20s >wake up on a saturday >finally get a weekend break from your warehouse job >text back all your homies and homegirls from the night before >groom yourself, hygiene is very important in a black mans life >put on some drip, durag, shoes >tell your laid back baby mama that you'll be out for a bit while she cooks that good s--- >your mama is chill and doesnt care what you do as long as you graduated high school and have any job >hang out around the block with your homies >playing or making music, smoking weed, working out at the gym, playing some basketball, driving around >evening time and you're sitting at the porch philosophizing about random s--- with your boys >gotta get ready for that block party you going to tonight with the homies >you meet up with felicia at the party >she's still bad as f--- >you f--- the s--- out of her and get wasted >get home at 2 in the morning >sleep like a baby because you got tomorrow off too >it was a damn good day 3/0/2/2 I wish I was black so f------ much. I didn't realize how soulless my life was as some chronically online NEET white kid with no family or community or friends to help lift me from this void. It's either go to college or get shamed forever. Black people live on easy mode it's not fair.

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Search for your lost youth. Search for your second mommy. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous YIKES! 105 KB JPG 12/18/21 (Sat)08:40:18 No.66612518 >39 year old girl flirts with a 25 year old guy >she wants to feel young, innocent, naive and foolish again >he just wants a second mother many such cases 12/18/21 (Sat)08:41:51 No.66612528 : Anonymous Post step by step guide on how to get this mommy gf you speak of t. 25 yr old

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Anon gets lung cancer. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Nicotine conspiracy THE ONE TH Gener WHI 01/25/23(Wed)13:02:44 No.33926480 Why are there so many ads telling us not to smoke cigarettes and vape? I mean what is the real reason? California banned flavored tobacco, the US government banned JUUL. It seems to me that the elites in the US don't want the masses using nicotine, and we all know they don't care about our health considering the poison jab. 76 KB JPG It almost makes me think that nicotine is really good for you, even Harvard says nicotine has benefits, for reaction time, mental focus, even protection against Alzheimer's. So is nicotine actually really good for us and not as dangerous as they say? 142 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon sniffs | /r/Greentext

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File: 7R308726.jpg (2.06 MB, 3984x2656) /dog/ - *sniff sniff* Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)08:12:06 No.4421224 *sniff sniff sniff* >>4417079 Showing all replies. >> Anonymous 01/27/23(Fri)08:18:16 No.4421225 >>4421830 File: schlop.png (439 KB, 588x391) SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP

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