: Anonymous 139 KB JPG 02/05/23(Sun)15:40:56 No.72103721 >tipped my ubereats driver $100 on christmas >cute college girl who seemed a bit autistic >literally calls me crying thanking me and wishing a happy new years I've never had a girl called me on the phone before that, I wish I had a girlfriend. 02/05/23(Sun)15:42:05 No.72103727 : Anonymous >>72103721 (OP) # lol she spent it all on Chad kek

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Anonymous 03/01/25(Sat)04:17:09 No.704221836 250px-Walter.jpg 10 KB JPG >Al evolving rapidly to the point it can almost impersonate people and compose entire songs >video game enemy Al has not progressed AT ALL since F.E.A.R and you could argue it has only regressed Why the f--- is this?

Anonymous >2005 07/11/22(Mon)20:52:44 No.69371086 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 23 KB PNG >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)18:14:33 No.184255728 Translate a joke from your country 12 KB JPG Anonymous | 07/06/23(Thu)19:05:43 No.184257583 Two hunters meet. Both are dead. >>184257927 # >>184258192 # >>184258442 # Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:14:41 No.184257927 >>184257583 # >behold the peak of german comedy >>184258089 #

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anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cheating gf 42 KB JPG 02/05/23(Sun)12:09:28 No.28274527 >last night >actress gf comes home from work to our apartment >she says hello when she comes in >I go to greet her and give her a kiss >she blocks my kiss and says to wait because she needs to go brush her teeth >I asked what she ate and she said "it's not what I ate. It's because of work" >that set off an alarm bell in my head so I interrogated her immediately >(she's a junior actress, so she's only doing supporting roles for commercial. Nothing big or glamorous) >she tells me "I had a kissing scene today and I need to brush my teeth" >I fumed >find out she had to make out with some guy in a party scene for some b------- stupid f------ ass phone commercial >I'm mad >tell her to gtfo of MY apartment >she starts crying and freaking out >she begs me to stop says I'm unreasonable and it was just work and that she didn't even want to do it. But it was the only role she was offered >still furious so make her leave >she's been calling me nonstop today and her friends too Why does this s--- have to happen to me. I feel sick to my stomach. It never occurred to me that she's get a role like that doing f------ commercials. And she still did it

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anon goes on a blind date | /r/Greentext

No. 72104680 30 minutes ago images.jpeg-1.jpg JPG 21.8 KiB 679x452 >be me 20yo beta virgin >start trying to make an effort to start dating >not going well >sister said she could set me up on a blind date >sister is kind of a bitch but really want a gf so agree >get to the meeting place to meet my date >just some s----- pub/resturant >guy comes up to the table im waiting at for my date >ask if im anon >".....yes" >"hey im chad, your date" >w-- >going to kill my sis >explain to him im not gay and that my sister is just a bitch >his chill with it >we have a fee drinks and something to eat since were there anyway >his actually cool to talk to, likes vidya just like me >time to go >he invites me to his place to have a few more beers and play vidya >fast forward drinking beers and playing mario cart >very drunk >guy starts kissing me >way to drunk to resist >get carried to his room and f----- >wake up to an ass full of c-- ... Am i gay now anons? I dont want to be gay. Why did my virginity have to get taken by a man and not a beautiful woman.

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Anon has autism. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/23(Sun)13:16:50 No.72102419 >be aspie gf >bf yells at me all the time for just acting autistic >cry all the time >bf gets mad and just calls me sensitive 159 KB JPG >learn to cry quietly so I dont upset him and so he wont be mad and hate me all the time >try to be less autistic always fail >doesnt give me physical affection very often >I feel touched starved and lonely all the time I hate being autistic, just wish I was normal

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Anon is an IT student | /r/Greentext

J fd.jpg 467 KB JPG ago >and this is our son's room, he's quite the computer nerd >come say hi, John

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Anon is Chinas most cowardly worker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)00:36:16 No.24486142 >be Chinese >wake up for work >elevator is shut down cause it cut someone in half >use stairs instead >can't use car because the garage 1.66 MB WEBM collapsed on it >barely avoid getting swallowed by a sidewalk sinkhole >narrowly dodge a car that rolls over a 4 year old child >finally make it to train station >escalator eats the guy in front of me > 10 people are trampled to death trying to get on train >train derails killing hundreds >crawl out of rubble and stumble to work >clock in at the oil refinery and light a c-------- >resulting explosion vaporizes 4 city blocks >>24486177 # >>24487701 # >>24488718 # >>24489177 # >>24491092 # >>24491128 #

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Anon uses a GPS tracker | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this

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Anon. Just lie man. It’s to see your writing skill not to introduce yourself. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB JPG 01/21/22(Fri)20:06:55 No.67093170 >First college essay >It's only 500 words >Just for the English teacher to get a grasp of your writing skills >It's and essay about your life and all the "interesting" things about you I'm already f-----

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Anon works at a petrol station | /r/Greentext

File: 16b.gif (1.51 MB, 425x481) Anonymous 02/05/23(Sun)13:37:32 No.72100730 [Reply] >>72101014 Anyone here /evilmaxxing/? >work at gas station >people constantly leave their credit cards by accident >i used to save them and wait for them to come back and pick it up >now I've just been snapping them in half and throwing them away >when they call in asking if I've seen their card and ill say no 4 replies omitted. Click here to view. ENTJ 02/05/23(Sun)13:47:49 No.72100899 >>72100919 >>72100827 You are on camera you genuine sperg did you not listen to a word I just said?

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Anons make a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CVKPWmoR) /CTB/- Capture The Balloon: S(...) 02/03/23(Fri)14:56:31 No.414730044 22 KB JPG This is the first time since He Will Not Divide Us that we have the opportunity to weaponise our collective autism and steal a Chinese spy craft. Anons have been talking about ground- to-air lasers, as well as drones. Drones, however, might not be able to reach such altitudes. Got any ideas? Previous Thread: >>414716993 →#

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Anon has a VERY specific type | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 143 KB JPG 02/04/23(Sat)22:00:48 No.72101101 Would you date a girl who is a vampire? >looks 13 but is over a century old >can't get a regular job because she looks 13 >very skilled in credit card fraud so can still make some money though irregularly >must stay in your house/apartment during the daytime. usually asleep in your bathtub or under your bed. >will go out and murder people for blood every couple weeks or so. prefers you not ask her about it but will tell you if you persist >doesnt like being called a vampire says she just has a condition >will also go out at night to break into mailboxes to get fraud stuff >cannot eat regular food but can cook for you >will get emotional and teary eyed if you yell at her >will let you hit her and beat her if you want. will heal anything you do to her in minutes anyways >is very in love with you. >is a vagrant used to moving around after a couple months in one place but will stay because she doesnt want to leave you >if she stays for awhile police in area will report crazy serial killer on the loose and feds and state law enforcement will start investigating >will stay if you stay, go where you go. >high chance that if you tell her that she's a monster and she should kill herself, she'll go walk out during the daytime and burn to ashes on your porch >starts to smell stinky if she goes without blood for prolonged periods because her body will slowly rot like a corpse >is very vulnerable when asleep during daytime. almost in coma-like state but can still awaken >can beat you in chess >likes shoegaze. favorite band is slowdive >favorite movie is Amelie >knows how to skateboard fairly well >is fine with you telling your friends or people that come over that shes just your cousin visiting so people won't think you're a f------ p-------- >can fly by shapeshifting weird-ass wings under arms. >will kill anyone that tries to harm you >will refuse to turn you into a vampire no matter how many times you ask

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the power of coom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SGhdxLzG 02/03/23(Fri)06:11:47 No.16971326 frog.png 568 KB PNG 0 t d BIF 8THC NEA& 1700 TEAZ 80A4 747 If I could choose a superpower it would be to make anybody I want c-- hard just by willing it. Think about it.. >some hulking aggressive chad confronts you at the bar for no reason >he refuses to leave you alone >"Alright Chad, have it your way... C--" >he collapses on the floor and instantly soaks his pants with the most potent j--- in existence >the stench fills the room and his moans are louder than a t-rex >he has a heart attack and dies from c------ so much

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Anon trys to fight China. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: G3/enqPA) 02/03/23(Fri)23:11:02 No.414751627 File: E63EC7CA-5623-4C67-9978-4(...).jpg (51 KB, 1280x720) >>414750202 >>414750522 >>414751325 >>414751413 >>414749233 (OP) >>414749233 (OP) >>414749778 >>414749868 >>414750102 >Firstly, buy a space balloon and a RC rocket, or a rocket powered RC plane, with a large sharp needle attached. The RC rocket plane will also need a small built in parachute. >Next, use the space balloon to send the RC rocket into the stratosphere. >Then, release the remote controlled rocket near the chink balloon and use the RC rocket to ram into it. >Afterwards, deploy parachute and allow the rocket to come gradually back down to Earth. >Finally, if it is possible, retrieve rocket when it does eventually land. Alternatively, head straight to the chink balloon crash site and take a picture with it as proof and post it on /pol/. Something similar to this video: [Embed] https://youtube.com/watch?v=rpBnurznFio >RC ROCKET plane, ME163 Komet: https://youtube.com/watch?v=AtgdBFpbIVM [Embed]

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Greentext Stories - Anon tips. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 139 KB JPG 02/05/23(Sun)15:40:56 No.72103721 >tipped my ubereats driver $100 on christmas >cute college girl who seemed a bit autistic >literally calls me crying thanking me and wishing a happy new years I've never had a girl called me on the phone before that, I wish I had a girlfriend. 02/05/23(Sun)15:42:05 No.72103727 : Anonymous >>72103721 (OP) # lol she spent it all on Chad kek

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