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: Anonymous Real story here: >Be driving home from grocery store >Stop at intersection with red light >Beggar comes up to car >Roll my window down 06/29/21 (Tue)08:16:22 No.49797423 >He gets closer >Hose him down with pepper spray >Drive off >Never see beggars at that intersection again >>49797623 # >>49797700 # >>49797736 # >>49799124 # >>49805120 # >>49806296 # >>49807165 # >>49808269 #

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Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

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Anon plays Dota. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/23(Sun)05:13:35 No.72282221 >First time playing Dota >Get matched with toxic teammates >Saying terms I don't understand >pick Invoker because he looks cool >"omg noob why did u pick 326 KB JPG invoker u suck" >game starts >enemy typing "ez" every minute >teammates flaming me in Spanish >My hero is more complicated than nuclear physics >teammate goes afk in his lane with an invisibility item >we lose in 18 minutes >back to League of Legends

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Anon has a grilled cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 784 KB PNG 02/18/23(Sat) 14:34:49 No.72281058 >Eating grilled cheese with my mom >I take a bite into it and some mayo drips out >I point it out to her and ask why it looks like vaginal discharge >She silently puts down her grilled cheese and goes to her car and drives off What's her deal? : Anonymous >>72281058 (OP) # I think I'm probably on this guy's level with attracting woman. 02/18/23(Sat) 14:36:55 No.72281078

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anon gets trolled by a retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous please be patient I have autism 77 KB JPG 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is to alpha for his own good | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) Otimes where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place (we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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People power | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous am i too far gone? mys 88 KB JPG 02/18/23(Sat)12:45:02 No.72281186 >j------- to adult, human p--- for the first time in months >biggest load of my life should i just kill myself?

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anon visits an old friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 216 KB JPG 08/13/20(Thu)16:15:00 No.59554950 >sitting alone in room playing vidya >get text from old friend who ghosted me once he went full chadmode >havent talked to him in years >"bro come out tonight (address and time)" >the time is literally 20 minutes away >typical chad >decide f--- it i havent hungout with people in forever ill regret it if i dont go >shower and get dressed >pickup some beers on the way there just as a friendly gesture to chad >pullup to a house that has cars loaded on the road and on the front yard >music blaring >walk up to the front door and enter because its wide open >walk around and see nobody i know >finally find chad hanging with his new group of friends >walk up to him and say hello and hold up the beers and say look what i got >he says hey and says he didnt know i was friends with (owner of the house) >say im not >he asks who invited me GOD >i say he texted me >he makes a sudden realization face and then says "ooooooh i meant to text another (my name) sorry man, damn that means i didnt invite him,let me call him right now" and walks off while making a call >put the beers down on the counter and go back to my car and go back home

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Anon wonders about Boar Economics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB PNG 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 : Anonymous >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #

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Anon Has a Folder | /r/Greentext

e: beub.jpg (138 KB, 1080x720) Anonymous = 11/24/14(Mon)19:19:34 No.33711808 ► >>33711842 >>3371189 File: foldert.png (670 KB, 1312x876) Doesn't matter. You're in my folder now. An cand am TI LLEIT G2 span1 741 M Amara Candles Cand and Canadian Cinidin CE andphon 103 Bruk? r com Aminka Aven Schaden PRE:944 BINARY ACCES Ravin French 7 Irish Inka Jalgra ca racian mora D-inu Janina San Arab- Agen Apen Aperk war Auson 2 Abalond Autoland Auslar! Aution Act Auto Autor! Main L Anonymous [ 11/24/14(Mon)19:10:58 No.33711472 ► >>33711584 >>33711619 Can I seduce scandinavian girls? I will go for holy days. Pic is me Thanks. Chec CHih FIER Kond E CH 2 HOP.CO T S Bran.co Fun 17 French 8 min Israel 2 Anonymous 11/24/14(Mon)19:21:50 No.33711902 ► >>33711808 This is very unsettling. Man Cole now Garkalam Thang hoy Harpoon Kaland ATILA Bild 13 Countila Marcha Kwall six Edd Bikin 13 Corbi K Kebab Baskoni croada PICTER > French Tunisian Let's Cod 3ENG 1 Hamon. this Zal Dukkha FORRE Parl MJ B Belgeler n B kebab French Israel Italian 2 Anonymous E 11/24/14(Mon)19:20:22 No.33711842 >>33711808 thats normal Durd -FON S F

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Anon leaks the secret lingo used by enlightened individuals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ATTENTION!!! Thanks for your attention 477 KB PNG 02/18/23(Sat)16:21:17 No.72278564 >sister barges in my room >tells me a pair of her panties are missing >"theyre prolly at chads apartment" >she looks confused >"whos chad" Goddamn it I promised myself I wouldnt let the lingo from this place leak out irl Anonymous >>72278564 (OP) # stop wearing your sister's panties, f----- 02/18/23(Sat)16:25:28 No.72278601

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/17/23(Fri)19:10:12 No.894533395 >>894533754 >>894536797 File: 16942013375584.jpg (19 KB, 400x400) >Be me >Like to do a little trolling >Make a trip down to my local Wal-Mart >Go into the restroom >Find a closed stall >peek through to make sure pants are all the way down >Start shaking the door violently >"Occupied" >Shake the door harder >"dude stop" >Shake door even harder and faster >"IM GOING TO KICK YOUR F------ ASS IF YOU DON'T STOP" >start shaking door at mach speed >hear belt buckle clanging around implying he's pulling his pants up >immediately start running out >casually sit on bench outside bathrooms >dude runs out of the bathroom >runs right past me >doesn't notice me >there's a kid about 14 or so walking towards the exit >guy assumes it the was kid >starts screaming at a random kid in the middle of Wal-Mart for something I did >hold laugh in from distance >run outside >laugh

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No.10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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Anon is meet autism person | /r/Greentext

11/06/16(Sun)15:36:19 No.710790240 Sorry for s------ English I'm Germany but today encountered I on Autismus the Street Autism Person >am me >walk happy down Street because I've new Headphoneset Anonymous 131 KB JPG >then see I very very weirdo Person that runs and the Hands is flapping >Say him "Hello there, not normal!" >And he gived me instant Sorrow that I did that >follow me fast with much cry of "ÖÖÖNNNGHÜOÜÜÜHNN" though entire Street >he is fast and gives not f--- about car in Street that him is moving very fast >he becomes hit by Car >I run like Devil out of Scene

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Greentext Stories - anon despises the homeless | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous Real story here: >Be driving home from grocery store >Stop at intersection with red light >Beggar comes up to car >Roll my window down 06/29/21 (Tue)08:16:22 No.49797423 >He gets closer >Hose him down with pepper spray >Drive off >Never see beggars at that intersection again >>49797623 # >>49797700 # >>49797736 # >>49799124 # >>49805120 # >>49806296 # >>49807165 # >>49808269 #

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