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: Ted Cruz >>34134293 # Well, I was born in the early 70's and am currently 52, so ya until I die hopefully in my 100's if our Blood God grant's me that much life using the blood of the weak and cowardly >>34134399 # : Anonymous >>34134319 # 02/20/23(Mon)02:36:39 No.34134319 >>34134419 # 02/20/23(Mon)03:00:02 No.34134399 Ladies and gentleman, Ted Cruz.

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Anonymous 51 KB JPG 07/13/24(Sat) 19:01:05 No.78144878 >Try to shoot the former President >Miss >Trump supporters are p----- that you shot at him >Safe-edgy shitlibs are p----- that you missed him >Basically everyone regardless of political affiliation is clowning on you What a f------ retard

Anonymous The millitary has made me more(...) WOJAK US ARMY 9 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon) 18:43:07 No.81148037 >Join army to pay for college and to get out of s----- circumstances >Most of the other guys there are also to get to college >Some of us out of desperation for better circumstances >See a bunch of f------ with silver spoons in their mouths treat us like we're a bunch of hardened killers >Said f------ think they're better than us because they have an education >These f------ also don't know, the vast majority of millitary members won't see combat as most jobs aren't combat related >To these idiots a cook is the same as an infantryman >I've been called a baby killer despite never deploying throughout my career or killing anyone >My job is literally a vehicle technician >Women avoid me thinking I'm a domestic abuser in the making >Retard civilians will say I'm more of a terrorist than the men I kill >They cannot comprehend that the military is not killing people for most of soldiers >I'm literally hated by half the country for just trying to have a better life >And these leftist f------ wonder why they can't win an election? >Not a Republican f--, but they've made me feel infinitely more welcomed than lefties >A Southern man saying "Good job son" and covering my lunch is one of the best things ever >Jesus Christ, joining the military really shows you how two faced most people are 58 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon)21:04:47 No.934436283 >be me a week ago >go to sleep >dream starts >I'm having a conversation with Yukio Mishima >I mention the fact that the japanese have trouble pronouncing certain english. words >he jumps from his seat and tries to kill me >wake up What does this mean?

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Anon wins a Nobel prize | /r/Greentext

England Removal 4011569-2712 england removal.jpg 95 KB JPG >Yes, I would like to place an order. Yes, I am sure.

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Anon forgot to change the VPN | /r/Greentext

■ Anonymous (ID: sd0SjGMf) = 02/20/23 (Mon)13:48:57 No.416901601 >>416901699 >>416901717 >>416901743 >>416901779 >>416901806 >>416901823 >>416901831 >>416901850 >>416901914 >>416901929 >>416901958 >>416901965 >>416902109 >>416902152 >>416902170 >>416902211 >>416902314 >>416902384 >>416902415 Here in Poland no one is celebrating... Biden's visit only means that the war will last longer, and more ungrateful pigger rapefugees from Banderastan will come to spread banderism around. Volene was not enough for them, now they want to replace us in our own home... very shameful! Anonymous (ID: 1+19wHOB) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:12 No.416901699 ✓ >>416901742 >>416901601 Your vpn isn't working vatnik. Anonymous (ID: MTI2/4Yg) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:47 No.416901743 ✓ >>416901601 Someone screen-cap the Russian vpn failure. Kek. Anonymous (ID: 91C42Zmo) 02/20/23(Mon)13:50:26 No.416901717 ✓ 1666261048014.png (664 B, 31x26) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >Here in Poland Anonymous (ID: InoYDO7p) 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:13 No.416901779 ✓ 45634572.jpg (12 KB, 350x350) google iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: mRcDmg2G) >>416901601 AHAHA VPN GOT SANCTIONED >>416901601 include me in the screencap Anonymous (ID: ZPZWAXCb) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:29 No.416901929 ✓ >>416901601 The state of vatnik fake propaganda, can't even get a VPN to work Heino onl Anonymous (ID: C4W8BM5M) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:58 No.416901965 ✓ Screenshot 2023.jpg (6 KB, 270x54) google iqdb wait Auny 202 >>416901601 Private Botovich, your VPN is off! Anonymous (ID: +QPaRQS7) No.416902109 ✓ 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:49 No.416901806 ✓ >>416901601 Put me in the screencap wait ve Anonymous (ID: f8TPDE5/): 02/20/23(Mon)13:56:06 No.416902152 ✓ 1658580407215.png (193 KB, 576x461) google iqdb 02/20/23(Mon)13:55:38 >>416901601 Anonymous (ID: Jx3h14Vj) 02/20/23 (Mon)13:56:17 No.416902170 ✓ 1676794793273604.png (224 KB, 589x636) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Pidor slow down you've distracted me and I forgot the VPN again! >>416901601 They pay these people Anonymous (ID: rtoEwD4v) = 02/20/23(Mon)13:51:59 No.416901823 baking Anonymous (ID: WDeY437m) 02/20/23 (Mon)13:56:46 No.416902211 ✓ 1676372956432329.jpg (270 KB, 732x568) google iqdb wait >>416901601 me in screencap pls Anonymous (ID: ZT6s+FqB) 1676750971248328.png Anonymous (ID: SfQz2Eih) 02/20/23(Mon)13:52:18 No.416901850 ✓ 1658980516843853.gif (1.39 MB, 498x498) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >Here in poland O kurwa Anonymous (ID: jy7Vpxvc) No.416901914 ✓ >>416901601 Imao 02/20/23(Mon)13:52:05 No.416901831 ✓ (547 KB, 524x682) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Imao, the pole vpnigger f---- up AGAIN. ADD ME TO THE SCREENCAP Anonymous (ID: SrNqNSwy) 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:47 No.416901958 ✓ IMG_20230219_140037_926.jpg (241 KB, 1280x1136) google iqdb wait 02/20/23(Mon)13:53:09 Anonymous (ID: LawUEnFL): 02/20/23(Mon)13:57:57 No.416902314 ✓ 1666121790703782.jpg (65 KB, 800x600) google iqdb wait >>416901601 >>416901601 polebros... MOG In axtarm Anonymous (ID: dRLIW/Mo) 02/20/23(Mo 104he.jpg (29 KB, 399x385) google iqdby 30.052.WALSKI Anonymous (ID: dnvuPpxc) + 02/20/23(Mon)13:59:18 No.416902415 ✓ >>416901601 They aren't sending their best Anonymous (ID: NphAG9/c) 1665739048674261.png >>416901601 witnessed 02/20/23(Mon)14:02:09 No.416902641 ✓ (384 KB, 680x702) google iqdb wait >>416901601 Do you still get your 15 rubles regardless?

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Ww503DHf 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.161424130 >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)

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Sometimes the ponies play you | /r/Greentext

File: 1659554409929113[1].jpg (37 KB, 306x306) Anonymous 02/12/23(Sun)21:21:08 No.21651629 >>21651634>>21651730 >>21652040 >>21652056 >>21652322 >>21652458 >>21652487 >>21652498 >>21653371 >>21653938 >>21654550 >>21654961 >>21655706 >>21658217 >>21659280 >>21659652 >>21659739 >>21665377 >>21669389 >>21671928 >>21672500 >>21679751 >>21688692 >>21688746 >>21691860 >They say kitties have claws, but this one had a .45. She was a crazy dame with two dead husbands and legs that stretched to next Tuesday. So yeah, I took the case. If I'm gonna catch another bullet, it might as well be for gams like hers.

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listened to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 04/22/21(Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 >be me >Be audiophile >Spend 5 hours trying to find new song in lossless format >Can't buy since out 100 000 on equipment >finally find song >It is .exe file but whatever >Spend next 5 hours tuning my setup for R&B >Finally listen to song >Hear that the power company turbine is slightly off it's magnetic field >Makes slight hiss in my headphones >Instantly s--- and throw up over myself >Be safe out there fellow audiophiles

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Anon gets revenge. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed)20:04:39 No.72326149 >Be me 10 years ago >15 year old with a big sister >she's constantly being a bitch to me >she's dating this guy who is pretty cool 76 KB JPG >one day, I walk in on her making out with some other dude >she freaks out and begs me not to tell her bf >"sorry sis, you should've thought about that before you cheated" >call him and tell him everything >he's devastated, but also kind of relieved because he knew something was off >fast forward a few days >he comes to our house to confront her >opens her room >walks in to find her with ANOTHER guy >he leaves without saying a word >she starts crying and locks herself in her room for days >this is what I do to my enemies

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FemAnons will never understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HA HA HA BAI HAHA HA HA 57 KB JPG 02/22/23(Wed)00:36:53 >playing with d--- and balls >stretching penis as long as it can go >wrapping the d--- around so the nuts and the d--- swap places >roll up d--- >stretch penis again and pluck it like a guitar string >pull down pants and swing d--- and balls around making slapping noises like a retard women will never get this experience; they will never get to have so much dumb fun for no reason, they don't even know how the d--- and balls works it's like the world's funnest hand warmer and they have no idea : Anonymous No.72323948 02/22/23(Wed)01:14:32 No.72324238 Imagine being such a f--

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Anon learns a little something about teamwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 145 KB JPG >Can't ask to be excluded or else I'm not a team player This is like high school all over again what the f---. Improved morale my ass I just get an ego punch every Friday before my weekend now 02/21/23(Tue) 22:33:06 No.72322884 >Work starts makes us do mandatory sports together every Friday during the last hour of shift to "improve morale" >Always picked last every single time in whatever we're doing : Anonymous >>72322884 (OP) # Well yeah, how do expect everybody else to get their morale boost? You're being very selfish here, Anon. : Anonymous GREAT SUCCESS! 02/21/23(Tue)22:35:00 No.72322904 : Anonymous >>72322884 (OP) # are you unfit? what is your job? 34 KB JPG 02/21/23(Tue) 23:18:20 No.72323303 02/22/23(Wed)00:03:28 No.72323667 >>72322884 (OP) # Just say you need to use the bathroom then hide in there for like 40 minutes. If anyone checks on you just say you have diarrhea. By the time you come out they'll be almost done and you can just hang on the sidelines and watch. Make a point of saying how disappointed you are you didn't get to play. You can probably get away with this for 3 or 4 weeks before someone starts getting suspicious If anyone questions you immediately start screaming at them about their ablest witch- hunt. Keep saying you're sorry that your chronic illness isn't "convenient" for they're little school yard playtime. If they still seem on the fence start throwing your own s--- on the walls and screaming "IS THIS PROOF ENOUGH FOR YOU, DARREN? DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP NOW YOU BASTARD????" curl up on the floor of the bathroom in your own s--- and refuse to get up until you can speak with someone in HR Start crying as soon as the HR person arrives and spend 2 or 3 hours talking about how you wanted to be an artist but no one ever supported you Agree to leave the bathroom and go home if someone will bring you chicky nuggs Get free chicky nuggs GREAT SUCCESS!!!

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Anon has a mosquito problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous SS 234 KB PNG 02/21/23(Tue)23:59:05 No.72323636 >extreme urge to pee, been holding it for at least a few hours >random mosquito lands on my thigh >slap it very hard and acidentally hit my own nuts with the thumb >squirm in pain and legs shake instantly >d--- gets hard but don't pay attention to it, must be the urge to pee >finally go to bathroom >boxers are abosutely wet with precum >for some reason i let out a involuntary moan while peeing >felt funny for a few minutes I don't know what i learned from this. : Anonymous >>72323636 (OP) # Mosquitoes get you horny. 02/22/23(Wed)00:02:16 No.72323657

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ex wife of anon's dad tried to make her pity for his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 726 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat) 22:37:00 No.72182834 >dad was abusive >leave him and go to my grandmother >he actually ends up in jail for a little while >could have been more if I was smart enough to say everything he did >haven't seen him since I testified in court >anyway, he's dying he lost to cancer >good >his brother contacts my grandmother and says my dad wants to see me before he goes >relunctant but I go to see him >his whole side of the family is there >they're all so sad it's crazy >he's had two more kids with someone else since getting out >feel like everyone there hates me >they fake being nice but it's obvious they hate me >his kids won't even make eye contact with me >his ex wife is the only one who actually acts genuine with me, which makes sense >he asks if he can be alone with me >don't want to but it seemed planned and they all leave >he starts talking like he has a script >apologizing and trying to make me pity him >ultimately he dragged me out there so he can make peace with me and have my forgiveness before he goes >refuse and tell him that I still think he's vile >quickly leave >the next couple weeks his family floods my grandmother with angry calls >when he dies and they call my grandmother and tell me I'm invited but don't show up Why would they try so hard to hurt me because I didn't want to forgive my dad for hurting me

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Wasp Bombs | /r/Greentext

File: 61SZZa9uySL._AC_UF894,100(...).jpg (70 KB, 894x661) STINK BOMBS CAUTION INREANT Read caratuty orher cautions on ack Panel CAUTIS NE O Anonymous 02/21/23(Tue)16:06:15 No.72319089 >Wasps excrete a chemical that causes other wasps to come attack >Manufacture said chemical >Put in glass capsule like pic related >Throw at people you don't like >"Sorry Officer, I didn't assault her, the wasps did." >Profit

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Anon is yellowpilled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)13:08:35 No.549984012 >>54998412 e: 1607694157686.jpg (429 KB, 1082x928) >DUDE CHECK IT OUT >THERE'S NOTHING HERE, ISN'T THAT SCARY???

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Greentext Stories - Anon is Ted Cruz. | /r/Greentext

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: Ted Cruz >>34134293 # Well, I was born in the early 70's and am currently 52, so ya until I die hopefully in my 100's if our Blood God grant's me that much life using the blood of the weak and cowardly >>34134399 # : Anonymous >>34134319 # 02/20/23(Mon)02:36:39 No.34134319 >>34134419 # 02/20/23(Mon)03:00:02 No.34134399 Ladies and gentleman, Ted Cruz.

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