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>2 hours into 2023 >Take a s--- >Ass bleeds Off to a good start.

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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.

Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town

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grass is grassing | /r/Greentext

>quit all forms of social media, become happier, more confident and grateful for life >grass literally looks greener w-what the f---??

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Performance Anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/27/23 (Mon)23:37:48 No.115224374 ► >>115224382 >>115224485 >>115226212 >practice in my room on electric(not plugged in) and my acoustic every day >go over to my cowrokers house, he's got an acoustic >pick it up and paly a little while theyre getting ready to head out >f--- up every song and fingerpicking despite playing the same songs I practice on my own every day w-- bros Anonymous 02/27/23 (Mon)23:38:34 No.115224382 >>115224374 Who gives a s--- Anonymous 02/27/23 (Mon)23:39:38 No.115224394 File: 1669573228797268.jpg (101 KB, 680x1102) >>115224382 >yo anon, you play? >yah, heh, a bit >start playing >wait, f---, lemme start over >god dammit >hold on >lemme try again.. >>115224394>>115224399 >>115224413 >>115224461 >>115226177

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

File: E0UYfUUVIAcfwfr.jpg (186 KB, 640x640) Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:09:16 No.91842196 Schizo here. Is it possible to get a virus from right-click saving an image such as an SVG file? Have heard these can contain code. Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:10:07 No.91842208 >>91842239 It's possible. Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:12:14 No.91842239 >>91842340 Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:21:54 No.91842340 File: 100_1740.jpg (423 KB, 1600x1274) >>91842239 1) Save as "code.js" 2) open with sublime text 3) highlight all the code 4) go to file > print 5) print the paper and roll it hotdog style (important) 6) slowly insert it up your ass you f------ retard Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:24:19 No.91842371 >>91842340 /thread >>91842208 best way to check files for something like this? >>91842371

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Anon takes a quick dip in the pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >friend's pool party back in highschool >we're chilling in the deep end, parents on the pool chairs >Know friend has a little brother that doesn't go outside much >Said that he's a bit weird since his "accident" >My other friend asks "What accident?" but he doesn't get a reply >Notice the house door open >The little tism comes outside and heads our way >little_rebel.png >he walks up to the edge >we think he's going to jump in >pulls his pants down and pees directly into the pool like a toliet >everyone goes silent 28 KB JPG 3/01/23(Wed)16:24:55 No.72407172 I wanna know too

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Anon gets laid, it’s not as fulfilling as reddit suggests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)22:21:08 No.895214169 I am a disgusting man w---- >break up with gf two years ago >sad for a full year then slowly cope >mass media and social media always cracking jokes about guys who don't get laid often are losers >general "body count" seems to be in 20s or 30s >movies show that cool guys sleep around >the influence gets to me 276 KB JPG >want to "live a fun party life", "let loose", "live my youth" Huge mistake >slept with 13 different women in the last 8 months >can't feel any emotions for any woman anymore >they're just walking vagina kiosks >same flirty jokes and topics on repeat, just new faces >I miss the nervous feeling in my stomach before a date >I miss feeling like I have a crush on someone >I want a woman I love play woth my hair, not a nameless tinder chick >feel depressed and empty >also feel like a dirty w---- >also feel disgusting just moving from vagina to vagina, never having a human connection Hookups have ruined me emotionally

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Anon found his motivation | /r/Greentext

File: doctor.jpg (32 KB, 777x609) He was a respected doctor Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)19:02:54 No.72414776 >met a girl in chemistry class. >start talking to her after class a lot and start developing feelings. >we're both average looking, so I get the idea in my head that there might be chance. >realize that looksmatching doesn't work. >stay around her anyways. >>72414794 >an exam was coming up and the whole class was struggling. >she had failed the prerequisite chemistry before. >I do okay enough to get a B. >we share numbers to help each other in the class. >I study for two days before the exam. >I give her homework answers and help her understand study. >I read ahead just to help her more. >yeah I'm not g-----------, but I like spending time with her. >mfw I f------ ace that exam. I will simp my way into becoming a doctor.

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Anon owns a hedgehog | /r/Greentext

File: 1668788701777163.jpg (110 KB, 900x900) Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:09:25 No.895175176 ► >>895175326 >>895175766 >>895175889 >>895175969 >>895177561 >>895178150 >>895178200 >>895179106 >be me, currently >31 years old, almost 32 >virgin, never even kissed a girl >no car, no driver's license >no job, haven't been employed in nearly a decade >don't really give a s--- about life in general >hate weeb s--- >eat almost nothing but frozen meals and frozen pizza >own a hedgehog, by far the only good thing about my life >smoke tons of cigarettes what do you think of my life? Anonymous 03/01/23 (Wed)12:12:48 No.895175257 ► >own a hedgehog, by far the only good thing about my life Show us the baby Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:16:02 No.895175326 ► >>895175176 (OP) I don't think anything about your life I don't give a f--- what you do. Why, you have a problem with your life?

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nightmare fuel | /r/Greentext

02/12/23(Sun)13:54:51 No.34066083 : Anonymous >>34063087 (OP) # >be me >mid 20's, overweight, slowing getting into shape >go jogging late at night at this public park >area is relatively safe >most nights quiet and cool >tonight foggy as f--- >street lights aren't helping >looks like vintage black and white horror movie >waiting for werewolf to show up >get my nerve >keep jogging >20 minutes go by >suddenly hear someone loudly, uncontrollably sobbing behind a tree line >nope >nope >nope >f--- jogging >run back to car >never jog there at night again

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context: apparently a vtuber was bullied to stop their entire vtubing career just because they were planning to play Wizard game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>43353336 (OP) # >Bullied in Japan growing up >Thinks westerners are nicer and tries to appeal to them >Gets death threats sent by deranged trannys for a wizard game she didn't even play Her story is a tragedy. 02/18/23(Sat)15:16:20 No.43353599 >>43362026 # >>43372727 # >>43412324 # >>43459012 #

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Anon is just lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)19:26:10 No.895186681 DSK 5C336923-832C-4E30-896E-A70DB045C5A2.jpg 54 KB JPG How do you make friends in mmo? >played ffxiv >found a fc >enjoyed it and I liked the people there >some drama happened and then everyone left there separate way Kinda sucks because everyone was nice and then suddenly they turned toxic I just wanted people to talk with

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Anon discovers an unnecessary expense | /r/Greentext

File: 70657014-9EEE-411F-B906-9(...).jpg (134 KB, 2550x150) >>895196270 Saving money by breaking up with my GF Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:43:16 No.895193014 [Reply] >>895196201 I just ran the numbers in my budget and realized I could save ~$500 a month by breaking up with my girlfriend. And that's even with having to spend more in rent on my own apartment >save almost 50% by not paying for her meals >buying groceries for 1 instead of for 2 >save around 20% by not buying her drinks at bars (to be fair, will probably need to go out more to meet women >save 100% on girlfriend gifts >save 50% on utilities >save 80% on girlfriend stuff (some of that stuff I might still do) Not even to mention saving on the countless headaches and s--- she gives me on a daily basis. Time to take my life and my wallet back. Should I show her this spreadsheet when I break up with her?

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Anon requires technical support. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)04:16:44 No.895196947 >be me >just finished an all-night gaming session on my PC >shut it down and get some sleep 82 KB JPG >wake up the next morning and try to turn on my PC >nothing happens, no power, no lights, nada >panic sets in as I realize my precious gaming rig is dead >call up tech support and explain the situation >after a few minutes of troubleshooting the tech support guy asks me to check if the power cord is plugged in >of course it's plugged in I'm not an idiot >check anyway >it's not plugged in >I tell the tech support guy what happened silence.mp3

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Greentext Stories - Anon kicks off the new year. Sorry I’m late I was in a coma | /r/Greentext

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>2 hours into 2023 >Take a s--- >Ass bleeds Off to a good start.

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