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: Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)04:16:44 No.895196947 >be me >just finished an all-night gaming session on my PC >shut it down and get some sleep 82 KB JPG >wake up the next morning and try to turn on my PC >nothing happens, no power, no lights, nada >panic sets in as I realize my precious gaming rig is dead >call up tech support and explain the situation >after a few minutes of troubleshooting the tech support guy asks me to check if the power cord is plugged in >of course it's plugged in I'm not an idiot >check anyway >it's not plugged in >I tell the tech support guy what happened silence.mp3

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon met an English person | /r/Greentext

I met an English person once. Never hope I see another one of those f------ biscuit dunking whitehouse burners ever again. >be me >s----- job working cash register at Sheetz >usually left alone to watch pron on cellphone >weird white guy with square glasses walks in >asks about "petrol" >asks where "toilet" is >says has "bad case of the sheetz", then emits breathy low commitment laugh >tumbleweed.gif

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Anon watches the new Tom Hanks movie | /r/Greentext

TOM HANKS IS A MAN CALLED OTTO BASED ON THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER 9E91C6A4-FD80-4890-ABEA-A9BF4FD79FFA.jpg 1.6 MB JPG >"Americanized" adaptation of a popular Swedish movie > Immigrant neighbor is Mexican instead of Iranian What did they mean by this?

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Anon got his first nudes. And now thinks he's not ugly after all. | /r/Greentext

00 ☐ Girl sent me nudes Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)17:34:52 No.895187038 Be me silly 18yo virgin, can't talk to girls get really nervous when I see some. Fast forward to around two weeks ago, when I started to add random girls on snap. First few girls just ghosted me after sending them normal pictures of my face with me smiling. (thought I was ugly) But then after that some girls actually send back their faces. I blocked two out of five which were obese and ugly (not my type). Fast forward to when I had like 10 flames with a girl looking like a 9/10 (since she looks like she's 21) and she sends me a pic of her t--- in a bra.(maybe I am not that ugly after all) Me being dumb didn't know what to reply back so I just made a face like w-- didn't expect that kinda face(see picture). BUT on the next day she sends me a pic of her ck thong out of the blue with this :). I replied back with the hot face emoji showing my face. Then she sends back a video this time of her slapping the ass and also with this caption: - Wish someone could slap my ass really hard right now. - I need a red mark from a hand on my ass Me being completely shocked on why she sends me another nude of her. I reply back with: How beautiful her ass is (not exact words) Then she sends a video of her groping her own t--- (3 seconds long). I sent back another snap saying she is perfect. Then after around 10 minutes I receive a picture of her mac with: Too Hot to Handle on it (Netflix). Left me on open after that. I could also add, that this all happened while I was in a middle of class. What does this mean, is she just a hoe? (She has around 1.5 mil Snap score)

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Anon skips breakfast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:54:47 No.70125370 33 KB JPG >be me >20 >have always been a f------, 280 lbs at 6'1", 37,5% >decide to start going to gym and somehow get to 15% bf >ff a month, to my latest leg day >realize that i skipped breakfast and hadn't eaten anything before the workout so drink a shake consisting of two scoops of protein powder and about 50 grams of oats with half a liter of milk >doing a regular leg day, the regular leg press machine was broken so do an alternative version of it >push as hard as I can on my fourth set, feel like passing out on my last 3 reps >start feeling super nauseous just after i finished the workout >rush to the bathroom and vomit about 25% of the shake is this normal? is there anything i should do other than not consuming anything prior to working out? i drink like 0.8 galons of water while working out so dehydration is probably not the problem. View Thread

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Anon works at the movie theater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous IT ENDS NOW 84 KB GIF your bag" >open his bag 05/01/19(Wed)20:09:35 No.52208580 >be me >working at movie theater >"hum hello, i'd like 5 tickets for end game" >5 fat neckbeards looking at me >they're like super excited >"thank you mam" >"excuse me, i've got to check >5 empty bottles of water >"recycling you know..." >"ok have a good day" >3 hours later movie's done >"anon go check if the room is empty" >room is empty >pop corn everywhere as usual >money and keys on the floor as usual >5 bottles full of piss as usual >5 BOTTLES FULL OF PISS recycle my left nut f------ neckbeards

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spicy shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)21:01:17 No.72405915 [Reply] >eat spicy food >have spicy poops Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)22:34:05 No.72406449 never happened. more larps Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)22:36:52 No.72406464 Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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Anon gets mogged by a wizard | /r/Greentext

File: 1656347327551.gif (1.06 MB, 400x224) O Should mages be banned from the gym? Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)09:36:41 No.70120037 >Me, a strong and healthy 6'9 warrior working out my muscles in the bodybuilding aisle >A group of manlet mages come giggling and start "working out" next to me >One necromancer from the group brags about his 6p18 deadlift >He conjures spirits to help him lift >I laugh and point this out to him >He says it still counts because the spirits are dead >Druid says he wants to try my exercice, I mog the s--- out of that skinny vegan f----- >He turns into a f------ bear and overhead presses my deadlift 1RM >Then see the wimpy wristlet illusionist wizard "materialize" another 2 plates each side for his deadlift >Try to get external validation by pointing this out to the other warriors passing by >No one else disbelieves his illusion >I storm to the showers in a fit of rage >Just before I can rinse myself the f------ demonologist summons succubuses and makes them drain my daily gains and transfer them to him. I hate these wizards and their fake gains so much. >> Anonymous 03/01/23 (Wed)09:38:15 No.70120059 ► >gym tulpamancer always has a spotter It's not fair bros, I never get a spot >> Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)09:42:03 No.70120105 File: 1656517586050.gif (2.56 MB, 1200x675) >Gym chronomancer ask how many sets I have left >"2 bro, won't take long" >He speeds up my reps and thus reduces time under tension >Make minimal gains and I am obligated to leave the bench after 2 sets I HATE MAGES SO MUCH IT'S UNREAL ► >>70120150 >>70120202 >>70120332 >>70120422

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I‘m fu*ked guys! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 91 KB JPG 02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172469 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder

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Anon demands an explanation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)16:47:45 No.29843921 Study finds "strong" correlation between online game cheating and transgender self-identification "Perhaps the strangest correlate we've found" News by Wesley Yin-Poole, Deputy Editor Updated on 13 November 2020 Video game cheating has been around for as long as video games. But here's a headline you probably haven't heard before: cheating in games means you're less likely to cheat yourself where gender is concerned. The classical cultural image of the online game cheater is an antisocial male getting his laughs by ruining game sessions. According to a study performed by the University of Munich, that stereotype couldn't be more wrong. "The principle of rebellion against game rules is also extensible to rebellion against societal gender rules," commented Dr. Reinhard Pekrun. "Or perhaps it comes down to fantasy. The desire to present one's self as a skilled competitor is adjacent to the desire to present one's self as a beautiful woman or man. Between cheaters and transpeople there is also a common element of resistance to scorn, and, speaking inversely, an instinct for these often-maligned people to enact revenge through video game cheating." 17851751-31F2-410F-8F33-6E2A770E80CD.jpg 150 KB JPG Tranners, explain yourselves

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Anon tricks girl with flawless logic | /r/Greentext

I'm in a dilemma /b/. ami a bad person? >be me >be 18 >at 8/10 friend's house >watching some s----- adam sandler movie >girl with bouncy boobs on screen >"Anon, I wish I had boobs like that" >hereismychance.jpeg >"Why u can, don't u know the trick? >"What trick" >"If ur boobs are sucked regularly, they grow large." >"I don't think dat's true anon" >"yeah? why do u think pornstars have huge boobs?" "Idk, those are fake i guess" >"why would anyone pay to see fake boobs?" >"oh, never thought of dat" at this point I didn't know how to ask her to let me suck dem t------ >"same is for guys as well, the more their d---- are sucked, the larger their penis" >"what? really?" >letsdothis again.jpeg >"why do you think pornstars have such huge penis? And why do guys want to get blown all the time?" >"oh, now it all makes sense anon" >"how about we help each other out. it's a win-win" >"yes, right now? >holyshit.jpeg this carried on for 4 days and i got 7 BJs before she found out i was lying. Now she won't talk to me. does that make me a bad person /b/? Anonymous (ID: WS/G7efD) 10/31/14(Fri)16:02:48 No.576811869 no, she was a dumb slut for believing that s---

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Anon and the cum box | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)15:03:09 No.41713546 32 KB JPG >keep putting my c-- napkins in a cereal box >start f------ the box and c------ into it like a fleshlight >starts to get soaked with rotten c-- and looks disgusting so i stop f------ it >still c-- into it from a distance and keep jamming c-- napkins in for months >cleaning my room earlier today >decide to throw it out >realize how heavy, compressed, and solid it is now, a solid brick of c-- napkins >manage to tear it out of the box >literally had to stomp on it to break it into two pieces and it won't flush down the toilet >trash is full and no one else is home so i decide it is the right time to burn it >put it on an old car hood in my backyard and light it on fire and smoke a c-- while it burns >entire neighborhood smells like burned c-- now

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anon wonders what JK rowling was thinking when she wrote this controversial harry potter scene | /r/Greentext

le: 1650081877331026.jpg (85 KB, 657x480) Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)11:15:30 No.181196405 >>181196420 >>181196425 >>181196948 >What's the matter Harry? >...Harry? >H-Harry! HARRY STOP! W-wai >...ahh...ah...ah... >Ohh... good... ness... >Harry...h-harry...HARRY! >y-you came inside... >You... YOU BETTER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! Or else so help me Harry James Potter I will sit on your face until you learn your lesson! What was J.K. Rowling smoking while she wrote this?

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Greentext Stories - Anon requires technical support. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)04:16:44 No.895196947 >be me >just finished an all-night gaming session on my PC >shut it down and get some sleep 82 KB JPG >wake up the next morning and try to turn on my PC >nothing happens, no power, no lights, nada >panic sets in as I realize my precious gaming rig is dead >call up tech support and explain the situation >after a few minutes of troubleshooting the tech support guy asks me to check if the power cord is plugged in >of course it's plugged in I'm not an idiot >check anyway >it's not plugged in >I tell the tech support guy what happened silence.mp3

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