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: Anonymous 60 KB PNG 03/06/23 (Mon)13:21:10 No.72471645 >pee with eyes open, trying to aim in the toilet bowl as hard as i can >get pee sprinkles on the toilet seat >pee with eyes closed, no aiming >toilet seat is spotless do i have super powers? 03/06/23(Mon)13:22:23 No.72471660 : Anonymous Take the sitting down to pee pill

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:00:02 No.32331309 NEURON METER IQ CERTIFICATE AWARDED TO Gourn Mueller Your IQ score is 74 Neuron Meber What kind of job can I get with an IQ of 74? March 10, 2023 614 KB PNG Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:02:53 No.32331329 A Trump Cabinet appointee

Anonymous No.264820315 4 hours ago >>264820071 >playing some uplink >friend comes into my dorm >"hey what's good- H-------- WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >Man I'm hacking this school database to give this guy a masters degree so I can get f------ paid. >H-------- BRO WHAT >he actually pulled the power cord out of the wall >I turn to him and yell WHAT THE F--- I DIDN'T COVER MY TRACKS YET, THE FBI WILL F--- ME UP FOR THIS, AND NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE!! >he ran out of my room screaming >I had a good 20 minute laugh

Anonymous 558 KB PNG >Be me 08/23/24(Fri)15:00:31 No. 102046398 >Wake up, my smarthome HAL turns on the lights and prepares a morning shower. >Log onto my Windows computer >Intel Management Engine goes into full effect so the government can keep me safe from criminals >Open up Microsoft Edge and instantly get 380 debilitating viruses >Oh well, better renew my subscription to Norton antivirus >The wonderfully feature-full nature of Windows slows my computer to a crawl while Recall sends all my info to Microsoft for safe keeping >Play an online game and get absolutely rekt by a Linux user (he must be cheating like the criminal he is) >Text my friend on my iPhone >He uses Android like a beta cuck >He tells me all about sideloading, sounds dangerous to my security >Thank god Apple is our friend and prevents us from doing such heinous activities >Google a recent medical symptom, luckily it knows everything about me so I don't have to look very deep to find good results >I love proprietary technology.

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Anon found the perfect girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 641 KB GIF 03/14/23(Tue)06:56:49 No.72564876 >met a cute girl >tried to strike a conversation by talking about the weather >she just stopped, turned her head and death stared me Patrick Bateman style >this lasted for 3 minutes before I finally can't stand the awkwardness and left she's the one bros

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Illegal recipes and doohickeys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG Anonymous 2.79 MB GIF 03/11/23(Sat)07:10:50 No. 19034725 what would happen if you put oatmilk in oatmeal? 03/11/23(Sat)07:12:22 No.19034727 >>19034725 (OP) # 03/11/23(Sat)07:18:04 No. 19034732 Anonymous >>19034725 (OP) # DO NOT do this guys it makes mustard gas.

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 03/14/23(Tue)02:12:02 No.72559561 >34 year old engineer comes into the surgery >Sustained inner ear damage during an industrial accident : Anonymous Alri shippy lid >Has become profoundly deaf as a result >Wants me to give him a cochlear implant >Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead : Anonymous >>72559561 (OP) # Nice to see these threads making a comeback, nature is healing 03/14/23(Tue)02:41:02 No.72559896 03/14/23(Tue)02:42:23 No.72559914

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Anon plays stardew Valley | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 630781808 A 1.6 kB PNG >be me >Stardew valley player >Decide to use mods for the first time in a new game 17 min ago... >Download a s--- ton of them >one of them is a sex mod. >Get married to Emily and forget about the sex mod. >She gets pregnant. >Remember mod >I'm going to kill Clint 2 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon drives a Sierra | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My car is preventing me from g(...) 36 KB JPG 09/11/22(Sun)18:30:04 No.70177059 >Be me >Be going to job interviews >Shooting the s--- with the interviewers >start talking about cars >he asks what car I drive >I respond with gmc sierra >chud alarm goes off >he tells me to leave immediately >this happens at every job interview I go to help 09/11/22(Sun)18:35:55 No.70177117 : Anonymous based, I hope you're unable to pay and it gets repo'd

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Anon's mom is very supportive of his lifestyle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 03/13/23(Mon)19:06:05 No.72561259 >if you're gay you can tell me Anon, it'd be much easier to see you with another man than to see you with absolutely no one at all Gee, thanks mom

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Show me on the doll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG 03/06/23(Mon)10:32:12 No.72469970 >Jerked off all the time >Been sexually active with girls since I was >Always felt like my orgasms were shallow and lackluster >Would always have these moments of disassociation during sex >For some reason my brain would kick on and say, "You're literally just rub skin against one another and activating nerves endings in a biological process that will make you c--" >Always had to tell my brain to shut up and just enjoy it >Recently bought a sex doll >For the first time experience actual passionate sex >Have no clue why, but feel more of a connection with the doll than I've ever had with any sexual partner >Had an intense, twenty second long orgasm >Never produced as much semen as that in my life WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ON?! WHAT HAPPENED?!

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Anon is going to kill their mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.85 MB WEBM 03/13/23(Mon)23:25:27 No.72561458 >mom would abuse me every day as a child >became bigger and taller than her and have an angry issue problem that scares my family >now shes begging me for forgiveness >she thinks acing nice to me will stop me from killing her I need to watch her die.

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90% of the text here | /r/Greentext

>be me -no girlfriend > depression Am I autistic?

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More Power, Mao Problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous alam 263 KB JPG 03/12/23(Sun)07:43:46 No.14743876 Why isn't he a more well known historical icon? >spend years fight for the unification of your country in many bloody wars against imperial cuckholds >fight off western imperialists holding your ports and trying to drug your people into submission >fight off eastern expansionist japanese trying to colonize your lands and steal your resources >fight off bandits wrecking havoc on your supply lines >fight off warlords who'd kowtow to any foreign power that will give them some opium >fight off the largest human wave invasion your continent had ever seen >endure unspeakable war crimes >manage to reunite your country under one banner by repelling foreign invaders as part of the largest war in human history >go on to win 5 re-election campaigns as a champion and paragon of your people >be awarded dozens of honors from foreign powers as a true testament to your statecraft >featured on time magazine's cover ten times >Be Chiang Kai-shek >pic unrelated

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Mutts experiment | /r/Greentext

File: 71S+tBaHRDL.jpg (135 KB, 1024x1024) Njesindades 6-12 71300 89 pups BIONICLE ATEL O Anonymous (ID: OUYSXOJ1 03/13/23 (Mon)14:03:28 No.419547604 [Reply] >>419547815 You're not white if you didn't play with bionicles as a kid O Anonymous (ID: /Mkq+512 03/13/23 (Mon)14:05:27 No.419547815 >>419547604 (OP) # When I was 61 melted my Lego bionicle and drank the liquid to what would happen

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Anon tries to gain some deep info | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)22:45:42 No.72374379 >urge to learn something, to think, to solve problems, to figure s--- out >try to read books >it's all the same repetitive useless b------- How do I get ahold of any deep information? about anything. I am sitting all day filling my brain with literally nothing, learning nothing, what a dumb way to live. I need to learn s---. Recommend me books 657 KB JPG

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Greentext Stories - Pissing in the wind | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 60 KB PNG 03/06/23 (Mon)13:21:10 No.72471645 >pee with eyes open, trying to aim in the toilet bowl as hard as i can >get pee sprinkles on the toilet seat >pee with eyes closed, no aiming >toilet seat is spotless do i have super powers? 03/06/23(Mon)13:22:23 No.72471660 : Anonymous Take the sitting down to pee pill

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