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Anonymous 03/20/23 (Mon)06:52:59 No.72639724 >I am the lord your god. And you, My child are my intelligent design. >btw don't forget to brush your teeth or else your mouth will deteriorate from bacteria >btw don't forget to give your pathetic flesh body daily maintenance with a bath or else you'll get sick or something >btw don't forget to be born with the right genetics or else you won't be able to breed >btw don't forget to run away from apex predators I placed on this world cause your body wouldn't stand a chance in combat 418 KB PNG >btw make sure you don't contract this disease or else your body will shut down cause I didn't make your immune system strong enough >speaking of, this tiny little bug and microscopic organism could ruin your life under a week >btw don't forget to maintain a healthy weight or else you'll die from enjoying my creations (food) too much >etc. why is god like this?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon is on a date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 96 KB JPG 03/20/23 (Mon)04:44:44 No.72638777 >go on date with girl >first date ever at 26 >we talked and laughed and even went to watch a movie >didnt expect to get anything out of it just trying to be comfortable talking to girls >after I drive her back home she sits quietly in my car and doesn't say a word >feels a little awkward and I just say "uh ok then, that was fun, see you later" >she says yeah, gets out, and I speed away Was I supposed to walk her to her door or something? It was 2 in the morning. Are there videos on how to start physical contact in a sexual way with a girl on dates? I swear I'm too autistic to do anything, I don't even know how to kiss. 41 Replies / 36 Images View Thread

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Anon buys flavored condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I might be getting married to (...) 03/20/23 (Mon)08:17:25 No.72640355 515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a Midnight Snack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous *Saves your sleep* : Anonymous 2 RE 03/19/23(Sun)19:41:35 No.70330408 s-1500.jpg 32 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)19:43:39 No.70330426 1653271230220.jpg 158 KB JPG P/HIP HOP VINYE >>70330408 (OP) # >can't pick your boogers for a midnight snack That's a tradeoff I don't think I'm willing to make. >>70330446 # >>70330449 # >>70330457 #

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

File: c3f.jpg (32 KB, 480x454) ☐ I f----- it up with my best friend bros... Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)19:41:34 >Be me >19yo male >My bestie 19yo female (girl) (biologicalwoman) >Super close friends >We were hanging out >I accidentally drop some coins >She immediately bends down to pick them up >Hands them to me >OUT OF NOWHERE I say "Good Girl" >Immediate regret >F--- F--- F--- F--- >We stare at each other for 30 long seconds >I notice her face turning red >I have no idea what to do >Immediately start talking about something else ignoring what just happened

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Anon ponders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)08:07:11 No.73479678 I know you guys always say that the blackpill is b------- incel ideology and not realistic but I often genuinely wonder just how better my dating life would be if I was a tall white guy with nice hair

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Anon tries Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HOW DOES HE DO THAT? 20 KB PNG 03/19/23(Sun)21:41:43 No.72637750 >use Reddit >constant unfunny memes about trans rights and s--- >so annoying that I become transphobic >go onto 4Chan >constant threads dedicated to hating trannies >somehow meet an actual trans woman here >they're really chill >start to think about it >wouldn't have a problem sucking c--- if the c--- was on something that looked like a woman Moral of the story: memes that actively support trans rights are cancer 03/19/23(Sun)21:53:52 No.72637853 : Anonymous >>72637750 (OP) # The moral of the story in this case being that reading 4Chan makes you want to suck cocks?

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Anon trusts what is essentially a BuzzFeed quiz to tell him how smart he is. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 147 KB JPG 09/27/21 (Mon)05:55:21 No.863896215 > Woke up > Bored bed. > Got the Bright idea to do an IQ test > "some of this questions are difficult" > Start rounding up my answers or going with my gut feeling. > Last few questions about shapes and colors make sense > must be where the creative type like myself come out as geniuses > Score 63IQ. Am I Retarded /b/?

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Worm breedin | /r/Greentext

>>53865529 (OP) >work at a worm breeding farm >work in the finance department >Do my usual walk around with investors >talk production forecast b------- with them >young guy swerves forklift into overhang door >blades stab the doors >door completely falls apart >fork lift speakers blasting Limp bizkit >keep rolling rolling rolling >$40,000 in damages

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That’s impressive Anon. It would’ve taken me hours to plan out a convo killer that effective | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous COMATER 472 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)19:12:32 No.70847805 >go to college >Study to be mortician >Chemistry class >Girl sit next to me is talkative to me >"Anon what are you studying to be" >"Mortician" >"Cool I want to be {insert profession}, why do you want to work with the dead anyway" >Autism.batch >"Because I'm a virgin" >S--- s--- f--- >"Oh.. Kay...." >Doesn't talk to me the rest of class

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Anon gets forced to be part of TikTok video | /r/Greentext

s8ILJCWF #1, No. 54211621 3/19/23 4:05:04 PM A83E6552-95F3-43B0-BD36-BDCF93D4299B JPG 906x799 66.9 kB >be me >at my wagie job doing sheet metal fab >spending the last 5 hours grinding away at a project and having issues with quality control on the piece >sweaty and frustrated >look like s--- because I didn't shave since I didn't have time and haven't gotten a hair cut lately >suddenly all of the office stacies come out to shoot a tik tok video about work being done in the shop >they do stupid dances with me in the background trying to work >it gets posted and gets 100k views because our marketing director has a big ass and is featured front and center >all top comments either thirsting about her or commenting that I look homeless and depressed >hr calls me into office after about being more engaged in viral marketing and my boss and all of the office girls want me to do this dance to this song clip; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SnNVJVdqo8 (Peter Griffin Happy Happy Happy meme 10 Hours) [642:24] with the girls >say it will counteract the current comments about me and that I'm basically forced to do it tomorrow morning How do I get out of this wagie humiliation ritual bros? I can't quit without risking defaulting on my loans and losing family land I've been working at paying off for years.

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Anon is perplexed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 03/19/23(Sun)13:18:42 No.72632794 >be woman in 2023 >have your reproductive rights under siege by state governments and the judiciary >live during a time when videos of Andrew Tate have taken over social media and reach millions of men >live under constant possibility of some disgruntled incel stalking you or going postal >deal with regular acts of everyday misogyny >still refuse to date good, decent men who bend over backwards to prove that they're not creeps if they're an eight or below make it make sense 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Something happens to anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/23(Sun)22:17:48 No.72635008 >be me >homophobic >incredibly straight and love dominating women >suddenly one day >I see this f------ twink on the subway >brain starts fantisizing about having a relationship with him and me being the sub while my f------ girlfriend (now ex girlfriend in this fantasy) seethes while watching >huh >what the f--- >why what's happening to me bros?? im not gay, i dont want to be 1.17 MB PNG

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Greentext Stories - Anon need to Get godsplained | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 03/20/23 (Mon)06:52:59 No.72639724 >I am the lord your god. And you, My child are my intelligent design. >btw don't forget to brush your teeth or else your mouth will deteriorate from bacteria >btw don't forget to give your pathetic flesh body daily maintenance with a bath or else you'll get sick or something >btw don't forget to be born with the right genetics or else you won't be able to breed >btw don't forget to run away from apex predators I placed on this world cause your body wouldn't stand a chance in combat 418 KB PNG >btw make sure you don't contract this disease or else your body will shut down cause I didn't make your immune system strong enough >speaking of, this tiny little bug and microscopic organism could ruin your life under a week >btw don't forget to maintain a healthy weight or else you'll die from enjoying my creations (food) too much >etc. why is god like this?

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