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03/22/23(Wed)08:05:20 No.72666250 >III and literally dying >Mom told me to get my stupid ass to work tomorrow >Dad kept on insist it's my fault and especially the work of 'my phone' >Sister doesn't give a s--- and kept on looking at her phone >Brother kept telling jokes about my current situation : Anonymous 1006 KB GIF >meanwhile I am literally rolling on the floor in pain and puking every 3 minutes >this later for an hour before the pain finally stopped briefly and I decided to go back to my room for some rest instead what's wrong with my family : Anonymous >>72666250 (OP) # >Ill and literally dying 03/22/23(Wed)08:11:50 No.72666291 >has enough strength/willpower to post his s----- greentext on r9k I hope you die OP

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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FatAnon vegetablemaxxes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)18:48:07 No.896314218 Im going to tell you one of my most f----- child hood memories >Be me >Be a super fat ass kid like 149 KB JPG under 8 years old >eat a f--- ton of broccoli and carrots, like a f--- because im such a fat ass like 300 pound 6-7 year old >go to pool >started swimming and there was a kid playing with me >we play and swim for a while it was fun >apparently I accidentally drank some pool water, maybe a lot idk enough to have a effect on all the s--- I ate >suddenly I need to s--- NOW! >ass just opens and completely undigested broccoli and carrots fall out my ass, my ass is just dispensing broccoli and carrots >kid just see's theres f------ broccoli and carrots coming out out my pants >w-- annon >he doesnt know im s------- them out, he just think I had that s--- in my pants for some f------ reason >of f--- oh f--- >I get out of the pool to go to the bathroom >trail of f------ broccoli and carrots coming out of my pants on the way >make it to the toilet and s--- my f------ brains out >toilet is f------ COMPLETELY full of broccoli, COMPLETELY TO THE BRIM I cant let nobody know this

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Anon is straight btw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)22:03:15 DUDE, I FOUND THIS CONDOM IN YOUR BED! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S FOR ME? 1638442001855.png 2.22 MB PNG No.30181570 T-Hoodie TWITTER.COM/HOODIEDRAWS ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE? IT'S TOO BIG FOR ME, SILLY! I wish I had a faggy bottom friend who comes over to play vidya and watch anime with me and keeps trying to bait me into gay situations. and doing weird s--- in my room like taking off his clothes and sleeping in my bed. I'm straight btw.

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Anon is fighting the good fight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 294 KB PNG 12/14/18 (Fri)21:51:57 No.787382495 Got a story to tell /b/ >be me >at track meet >approached by random kid >"hey anon, have you done you civic duties and subscribed to pewdiepie?" >fuckyeah.jpg >I followed him around after that >he asked almosto everybody at the meet >he got multiple people to sub to pewdiepie Keep fighting the good fight, brave soldier.

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Anon takes revenge | /r/Greentext

>Be me, early 30's, dead end job, live with parents >Stalk all my HS bullies and classmates on their social media for years >Come across one who was particularly bad. Got expelled 6 months before graduation for dealing drugs and assault, following year was arrested for dangerous driving, hooning etc. Not sure if he was charged or convicted >Fast forward 15 odd years, find out he works for a security company that provides consulting to major companies and tech firms >His job is to find weaknesses in their security apparatus. Everything from RF scanners, lock picking to hacking >Big time industry, requires a security clearance and a thorough background check etc >Take a trip to Thailand to pound some asian p----. Go into an internet cafe and log in using the name another guy who p----- me off in school >Send an email to his firm and some of his colleagues informing them of his past. Include some old vids he uploaded onto youtube in 2007 of him doing burnouts on main roads etc >Come home, monitor his social media, LinkedIN etc 22 KB JPG >His Linkedin dissappears >Facebook goes super private >Using the 6 degrees method, find a post on of his friends IG accounts about he's a good mate who needs help and is getting f----- etc >Find out through long lost and only friend from HS that he lost is job and is now suing the other guy for spreading false information and getting him fired Suck s--- you lebo c---

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Anon is at the cinema | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG 03/22/23(Wed)05:22:52 No.72663470 Can any of the more socially experienced anons offer insight into this strange interaction? >go to movie theater >two ladies and a small kid pull up and park beside me >think nothing of it, go inside >standing in line to buy snacks, keeping social distance >ladies from before walk up and stop close to me, nearly invading my personal space >one asks if I'm in line, but with an accusatory tone >tell her yeah because I am >they say nothing and scroll on their phones >her friend with the kid starts coming up to my side so I move a foot ahead because it's weird to push your child into a stranger's personal space >they start whispering to each other >people in front of me finally move so I can go up and place my order If felt like they were trying to start a problem to get a reaction from me and film it for internet clout.

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anon finds translation for Sweden’s national anthem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1J+f0Q1) 12/30/15(Wed)07:34:40 No.59555744 >>59555001 (OP) # Ive always dreamed about being a h-----, its something beautiful and sinful in it. Girls are really lucky, being a man suck. I realized this after 3 years of bbc&sissy hypnosis. But then again, seeing strippers and hookers in movies always gave me a boner, but only realized subconciously i would love to be the girl. Girls have exciting and fun lives. Men are disposable and worthless. >>59556012 # >>59556247 # >>59556914 # >>59557290 # Anonymous (ID: K1GKdX2X D 12/30/15(Wed)07:38:48 No.59556012 >>59555744 # Thanks, I've been looking for a translation of your national anthem for ages.

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The real covid-19 conspiracy theory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THE REAL COVID CONSPIRACY >it actually is a chinese bioweapon spliced together with SARS, Ebola, and they think maybe HIV. >They leaked it early accidentally in december when they originally planned to release it during the 2020 olympics >chinese companies (tencent) have been bribing western media companies to say the virus occurs in nature >the infection numbers in china are 3x what they are in america 8 KB JPG 05/02/20(Sat)02:44:24 No.24856877 Friend stationed overseas just told me his higherups gave him info on whats happening with covid. what do you think x? 123 Replies / 23 Images : Anonymous View Thread 05/02/20(Sat)23:18:51 No.24864200 >>24856970 # This is at least the third time they have leaked a bioweapon on their own population. First two were smallpox.

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Anon is weak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous how 03/22/23(Wed)09:26:14 No.72665023 >Be me >meet this weird guy in early 2022 >he looks like a femboy >he acts gay as f--- >he literally wore maid dresses in May of 2022 Back to march of 2023 >He's in boxing club >He's literally stronger than me >He's converting to Christianity How the f--- is this even possible? Perhaps the west has risen The west is rising. Civilization is saved. Billions will be born 156 KB PNG

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Anon found out how to become better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 437 KB GIF 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 42 KB JPG 03/21/23(Tue)20:28:18 No.72660463 >mfw I realize I am incel because of my personality >changes personality >instant Chad Why didn't anyone tell me it was this simple? Perhaps it truly was my personality after all.... View Thread 03/21/23(Tue)21:31:59 No.72661197 >>72660463 (OP) # Also be rich. Rich and Chad is good combination.

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Anon want to celebrate a birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Summer of 2018 16 KB JPG 03/22/23(Wed)09:55:03 No.72665145 > be me > summer of 2018 > hot as f--- > just finished practice session > coach is mediocre but friendly > my friend has birthday soon and we want to celebrate it > but we need a place > oh wait > cave.exe > me and my friends locates a cave and want to explore it > for some reason our coach want to join us > we enter the cave and it is cool as f--- > we head deeper in > oh anon, this place is perfect for a birthday party > suddenly its start raining > it rains a lot > oh f--- > for some reason we head deeper in to wait out the rain > suddenly there is water everywhere > me when I realize we are stuck in the cave > that moment when we made national headlines because we wanted to celebrate a birthday in a cave > the rescue to get us out cost the government around 9 million usd > a guy died because we were retards > still did not Get any birthday cake

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Anon goes for the gussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)20:51:41 No.72661429 >Be me >Try to nichemax because nothing else is working >Wanna attract goth girl I see in the library >Try for a glow up changing my appearance completely >Mom gets mad at me for why I am dressed this way. and I should change back or else I will be kicked out of the house because no son of theirs is going to be allowed to look like they worship the devil >Bros, do I give up my neet lifestyle or go for the gussy? 6 KB JPG : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # Send a picture of what outfit you were planning on wearing this is the only context this thread will need 03/21/23(Tue)21:59:45 No.72662203 03/21/23(Tue)22:48:40 No.72662657 : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # You should stop saying things like "nichemax" and "go for the gussy". That will probably help your chances a lot

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Anons Japanese friend. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37KB JPG : Anonymous 11/30/22(Wed) 06:30:50 No.18640785 How do they get the cheese sauce into these bad boys? 11/30/22(Wed) 06:34:42 No.18640794 18640785 (OP) # i asked a japanese friend about this once, he told me "この投稿に返信しないと、あなたのお母さんは今夜眠っている間に亡くなります。 " Works pretty well >>18640828 # >>18640943 # >>18641307 # >>18642291 # >>18642324 # >>18642329 # >>18642419 # >>18642600 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon is LITERALLY DYING!!! | /r/Greentext

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03/22/23(Wed)08:05:20 No.72666250 >III and literally dying >Mom told me to get my stupid ass to work tomorrow >Dad kept on insist it's my fault and especially the work of 'my phone' >Sister doesn't give a s--- and kept on looking at her phone >Brother kept telling jokes about my current situation : Anonymous 1006 KB GIF >meanwhile I am literally rolling on the floor in pain and puking every 3 minutes >this later for an hour before the pain finally stopped briefly and I decided to go back to my room for some rest instead what's wrong with my family : Anonymous >>72666250 (OP) # >Ill and literally dying 03/22/23(Wed)08:11:50 No.72666291 >has enough strength/willpower to post his s----- greentext on r9k I hope you die OP

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