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: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)18:48:07 No.896314218 Im going to tell you one of my most f----- child hood memories >Be me >Be a super fat ass kid like 149 KB JPG under 8 years old >eat a f--- ton of broccoli and carrots, like a f--- because im such a fat ass like 300 pound 6-7 year old >go to pool >started swimming and there was a kid playing with me >we play and swim for a while it was fun >apparently I accidentally drank some pool water, maybe a lot idk enough to have a effect on all the s--- I ate >suddenly I need to s--- NOW! >ass just opens and completely undigested broccoli and carrots fall out my ass, my ass is just dispensing broccoli and carrots >kid just see's theres f------ broccoli and carrots coming out out my pants >w-- annon >he doesnt know im s------- them out, he just think I had that s--- in my pants for some f------ reason >of f--- oh f--- >I get out of the pool to go to the bathroom >trail of f------ broccoli and carrots coming out of my pants on the way >make it to the toilet and s--- my f------ brains out >toilet is f------ COMPLETELY full of broccoli, COMPLETELY TO THE BRIM I cant let nobody know this

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1080px x 2398px)

File size: 293 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is straight btw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)22:03:15 DUDE, I FOUND THIS CONDOM IN YOUR BED! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S FOR ME? 1638442001855.png 2.22 MB PNG No.30181570 T-Hoodie TWITTER.COM/HOODIEDRAWS ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE? IT'S TOO BIG FOR ME, SILLY! I wish I had a faggy bottom friend who comes over to play vidya and watch anime with me and keeps trying to bait me into gay situations. and doing weird s--- in my room like taking off his clothes and sleeping in my bed. I'm straight btw.

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Anon is fighting the good fight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 294 KB PNG 12/14/18 (Fri)21:51:57 No.787382495 Got a story to tell /b/ >be me >at track meet >approached by random kid >"hey anon, have you done you civic duties and subscribed to pewdiepie?" >fuckyeah.jpg >I followed him around after that >he asked almosto everybody at the meet >he got multiple people to sub to pewdiepie Keep fighting the good fight, brave soldier.

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Anon takes revenge | /r/Greentext

>Be me, early 30's, dead end job, live with parents >Stalk all my HS bullies and classmates on their social media for years >Come across one who was particularly bad. Got expelled 6 months before graduation for dealing drugs and assault, following year was arrested for dangerous driving, hooning etc. Not sure if he was charged or convicted >Fast forward 15 odd years, find out he works for a security company that provides consulting to major companies and tech firms >His job is to find weaknesses in their security apparatus. Everything from RF scanners, lock picking to hacking >Big time industry, requires a security clearance and a thorough background check etc >Take a trip to Thailand to pound some asian p----. Go into an internet cafe and log in using the name another guy who p----- me off in school >Send an email to his firm and some of his colleagues informing them of his past. Include some old vids he uploaded onto youtube in 2007 of him doing burnouts on main roads etc >Come home, monitor his social media, LinkedIN etc 22 KB JPG >His Linkedin dissappears >Facebook goes super private >Using the 6 degrees method, find a post on of his friends IG accounts about he's a good mate who needs help and is getting f----- etc >Find out through long lost and only friend from HS that he lost is job and is now suing the other guy for spreading false information and getting him fired Suck s--- you lebo c---

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Anon is at the cinema | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG 03/22/23(Wed)05:22:52 No.72663470 Can any of the more socially experienced anons offer insight into this strange interaction? >go to movie theater >two ladies and a small kid pull up and park beside me >think nothing of it, go inside >standing in line to buy snacks, keeping social distance >ladies from before walk up and stop close to me, nearly invading my personal space >one asks if I'm in line, but with an accusatory tone >tell her yeah because I am >they say nothing and scroll on their phones >her friend with the kid starts coming up to my side so I move a foot ahead because it's weird to push your child into a stranger's personal space >they start whispering to each other >people in front of me finally move so I can go up and place my order If felt like they were trying to start a problem to get a reaction from me and film it for internet clout.

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anon finds translation for Sweden’s national anthem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1J+f0Q1) 12/30/15(Wed)07:34:40 No.59555744 >>59555001 (OP) # Ive always dreamed about being a h-----, its something beautiful and sinful in it. Girls are really lucky, being a man suck. I realized this after 3 years of bbc&sissy hypnosis. But then again, seeing strippers and hookers in movies always gave me a boner, but only realized subconciously i would love to be the girl. Girls have exciting and fun lives. Men are disposable and worthless. >>59556012 # >>59556247 # >>59556914 # >>59557290 # Anonymous (ID: K1GKdX2X D 12/30/15(Wed)07:38:48 No.59556012 >>59555744 # Thanks, I've been looking for a translation of your national anthem for ages.

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The real covid-19 conspiracy theory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THE REAL COVID CONSPIRACY >it actually is a chinese bioweapon spliced together with SARS, Ebola, and they think maybe HIV. >They leaked it early accidentally in december when they originally planned to release it during the 2020 olympics >chinese companies (tencent) have been bribing western media companies to say the virus occurs in nature >the infection numbers in china are 3x what they are in america 8 KB JPG 05/02/20(Sat)02:44:24 No.24856877 Friend stationed overseas just told me his higherups gave him info on whats happening with covid. what do you think x? 123 Replies / 23 Images : Anonymous View Thread 05/02/20(Sat)23:18:51 No.24864200 >>24856970 # This is at least the third time they have leaked a bioweapon on their own population. First two were smallpox.

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Anon is weak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous how 03/22/23(Wed)09:26:14 No.72665023 >Be me >meet this weird guy in early 2022 >he looks like a femboy >he acts gay as f--- >he literally wore maid dresses in May of 2022 Back to march of 2023 >He's in boxing club >He's literally stronger than me >He's converting to Christianity How the f--- is this even possible? Perhaps the west has risen The west is rising. Civilization is saved. Billions will be born 156 KB PNG

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Anon found out how to become better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 437 KB GIF 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 42 KB JPG 03/21/23(Tue)20:28:18 No.72660463 >mfw I realize I am incel because of my personality >changes personality >instant Chad Why didn't anyone tell me it was this simple? Perhaps it truly was my personality after all.... View Thread 03/21/23(Tue)21:31:59 No.72661197 >>72660463 (OP) # Also be rich. Rich and Chad is good combination.

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Anon want to celebrate a birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Summer of 2018 16 KB JPG 03/22/23(Wed)09:55:03 No.72665145 > be me > summer of 2018 > hot as f--- > just finished practice session > coach is mediocre but friendly > my friend has birthday soon and we want to celebrate it > but we need a place > oh wait > cave.exe > me and my friends locates a cave and want to explore it > for some reason our coach want to join us > we enter the cave and it is cool as f--- > we head deeper in > oh anon, this place is perfect for a birthday party > suddenly its start raining > it rains a lot > oh f--- > for some reason we head deeper in to wait out the rain > suddenly there is water everywhere > me when I realize we are stuck in the cave > that moment when we made national headlines because we wanted to celebrate a birthday in a cave > the rescue to get us out cost the government around 9 million usd > a guy died because we were retards > still did not Get any birthday cake

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Anon goes for the gussy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)20:51:41 No.72661429 >Be me >Try to nichemax because nothing else is working >Wanna attract goth girl I see in the library >Try for a glow up changing my appearance completely >Mom gets mad at me for why I am dressed this way. and I should change back or else I will be kicked out of the house because no son of theirs is going to be allowed to look like they worship the devil >Bros, do I give up my neet lifestyle or go for the gussy? 6 KB JPG : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # Send a picture of what outfit you were planning on wearing this is the only context this thread will need 03/21/23(Tue)21:59:45 No.72662203 03/21/23(Tue)22:48:40 No.72662657 : Anonymous >>72661429 (OP) # You should stop saying things like "nichemax" and "go for the gussy". That will probably help your chances a lot

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Anons Japanese friend. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37KB JPG : Anonymous 11/30/22(Wed) 06:30:50 No.18640785 How do they get the cheese sauce into these bad boys? 11/30/22(Wed) 06:34:42 No.18640794 18640785 (OP) # i asked a japanese friend about this once, he told me "この投稿に返信しないと、あなたのお母さんは今夜眠っている間に亡くなります。 " Works pretty well >>18640828 # >>18640943 # >>18641307 # >>18642291 # >>18642324 # >>18642329 # >>18642419 # >>18642600 #

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A well diverse poop portfolio | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)21:27:20 No.893136781 952 KB WEBM I just took the best s--- ever. It took me 45 minutes, it had everything from diamond hard logs to pure liquid. The bathroom stunk so bad afterwards I had to open the window to let it air out, I light a match to help with the sulfur and of course sprayed air freshener. Took three flushes and a half roll of toilet paper. At the end of it, just one long fart, about 15 seconds of liquid. Then my bladder was finally empty. Im fairly certain I lost at least 5 pounds.

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Greentext Stories - FatAnon vegetablemaxxes | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)18:48:07 No.896314218 Im going to tell you one of my most f----- child hood memories >Be me >Be a super fat ass kid like 149 KB JPG under 8 years old >eat a f--- ton of broccoli and carrots, like a f--- because im such a fat ass like 300 pound 6-7 year old >go to pool >started swimming and there was a kid playing with me >we play and swim for a while it was fun >apparently I accidentally drank some pool water, maybe a lot idk enough to have a effect on all the s--- I ate >suddenly I need to s--- NOW! >ass just opens and completely undigested broccoli and carrots fall out my ass, my ass is just dispensing broccoli and carrots >kid just see's theres f------ broccoli and carrots coming out out my pants >w-- annon >he doesnt know im s------- them out, he just think I had that s--- in my pants for some f------ reason >of f--- oh f--- >I get out of the pool to go to the bathroom >trail of f------ broccoli and carrots coming out of my pants on the way >make it to the toilet and s--- my f------ brains out >toilet is f------ COMPLETELY full of broccoli, COMPLETELY TO THE BRIM I cant let nobody know this

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