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: Anonymous >be at the Starbucks in B&N looking at book of trad art >woman notices and asks if I like art 03/21/23(Tue)05:35:13 No.21812462 >tell her yes, I love it >she asks if she can join me >say sure >she sets down her copy of Coriolanus and sits across from me >we look at the book together and she stops at a nude reclining >very beautiful, don't you think? >laugh nervously and say yeah, kind of funny though for a woman to just be lounging around without any clothes >why? >just because it's not realistic >at home I do it all the time ha >look at her and feel my face keeping a bit hot >haha don't look like that, I'm not a pervert or anything, I'm actually still a virgin, it's just more relaxing >try to regain my composure and say I think you're just imagining you're one of these paintings >caught me! So, you have prostitutes posing as goddesses, can't I pose as a painting >say I have to go to the bathroom >J------- but stay in the stall for like thirty minutes and when I come out she is gone Was both relieved and disappointed

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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Anon encounters a bear for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /out/ experiences you cant exp(...) 101 KB JPG 02/22/23(Wed)00:36:57 No.2543040 >be me >hiking alone in the woods at nighttime >hear rustling in the bushes, f------ heart rate goes through the roof >shine flashlight, see two huge f------ eyes staring back at me >OH F------ S--- >8 foot tall gigachad american black bear >heart pounding, slowly back away from the bear >bear starts walking towards me, getting closer and closer >heart racing, sweat pouring down my face >suddenly, the bear starts speaking in a deep, rumbling voice >"hey man, you got any honey? I'm f------ starving over here." >f------ bear can talk, what the f--- >give the bear some granola bars and we become f------ bros >turns out the bear is a f------ construction worker >we talk shop and chill around the campfire all f------ night >wake up in the morning, bear is gone >life will never be the same, f------ love that bear i miss you bear bro..

Anon experiences teenagers | /r/Greentext

$: Anonymous >>21811524 (OP) # 03/21/23(Tue)06:49:47 No.21812555 >in a bookstore >walk through a narrow isle >two kids are sitting in the middle, legs splayed >they are completely blocking the isle, reading manga >walk up to them, assuming they'll pull their legs in >they don't >stare down at them >they stare back >nobody moves >finally groan and just step over them it was really bizarre. even an unrepentant a------ would move even a fraction. teenagers really are the f------ worst.$

Anon bottles were found | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Pile of bottles 03/22/23 (Wed)17:34:01 No.72668372 S 120 EIS Grab Früh WA 20230322_173010.jpg 3.44 MB JPG >walk by my house with female collegue >say I gotta run in for a second to go pee >she unexpectingly comes in >sees this CM Am I f----- now? She looked concerned when I got out of the bathroom

Anon hates nature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/23(Tue)01:31:51 No.72649920 >watch nature documentaries >they present it as amazing and beautiful >all I see is just a meaningless death struggle for survival >endless search for food, battling rivals, killing each other, disease, accidents, dying from cold, starvation, predation, injuries >young who are birthed and then eaten alive by a pack of f------ wolves 53 KB JPG man f--- nature. what a worthless p------------. tell me again why we should "preserve" this hunk of crap? SAVE THE AMAZON!!! get f-----. burn it all to the f------ ground.

Anon's wife is lovely. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 47078181 180.4 kB PNG 1 REPLY 21 min. ago >My wife and I have a romantic dinner >Later that night she gets into her nighty and tells me she's been naughty >No, your dinner was very good. You haven't been naughty at all. >No, I'm naughty and need to be spanked >No, you've been good and don't need to be spanked. Women, am I right? 0 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 47078403 >>47078181 (OP) >My wife stop right there buddy, it has to be believable 10 min. ago...

Anon embraces modernity than tradition | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why are people so scared of Al(...) 03/19/23(Sun)12:41:02 No.72626755 721 KB JPG I'm f------ excited for Al. I've been seeing these new breakthroughs and advancements in Al these past couple of years and I'm legitimately ecstatic about it. Al is really making strides and I'm excited to see where it goes and how it improves our quality of life. I think anyone freaking out over it are old boomers who don't understand that this s--- is a true game changer. Like, by 2030, you're gonna be seeing some of the best entertainment you have EVER seen in your entire f------ lives because of Al. It's phenomenal. This thing can write better than hack hollywood writers. It can outdraw deviantart artists that have been drawing since f------ middle school. It's like the sky is the limit for this thing.

Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

127 KB JPG why not try this? >get 50 incels together >break off into teams of 5 >hang out for a little bit, come up with good things to say about everyone else in the group >every incel has 4 other guys who can talk him up >all show up to a club in similar identifiable clothing, like a button down shirt with a similar pattern and suspenders, for example >refer to the club as "the gf store" >approach women and try to hook them up with someone else on your team >always be talking up your teammates >share results between teams in meeting afterward, maybe reshuffle the teams a little bit and try again i feel like we could dig our way out of the no gf pit if we organized a little bit.

Anon has to attend a seminar | /r/Greentext

168 KB JPG : Anonymous 32 KB PNG >>38500682 # : Anonymous >kissless hugless virgin >have to do a 2 hour online "don't r--- people" seminar for college 07/20/17(Thu)19:00:30 No.38500643 >>38500603 (OP) # >don't r--- people seminar what the fukc 07/20/17(Thu)19:02:54 No.38500672 >>38500603 (OP) # >"don't r--- people" seminar

Anon is good towards his fellow man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous WHITEPILL THREAD Aanymous 05/06/150164520 No only you dregs be 1.61 MB PNG 03/19/23(Sun)00:40:49 No.70318182 Whitepill Thread - Ray of Hope Edition >anyone can start lifting, you don't need any prior sports experience >you can escape skinnyfat mode in less than six months >it takes less than a year for people to notice you lift >programming as a beginner is piss easy, everything works >diet is just as easy, just eat some protein and avoid fast food, candy and soda >you don't need a gym subscription to achieve a decent physique, you can get a good workout even with a pair of dumbbells from home >mires become so common they don't even register anymore >people notice you lift even under winter clothes >1/2/3/4 makes you stronger than mostly anyone you'll come across in your daily life >once you see results you won't even think about skipping the gym >consistency is the key to a good physique, even if you drag yourself to the gym you'll appreciate every single workout in retrospect >a good physique has a halo effect on anything you do >muscle building genetics don't matter in everyday life, being consistent in the gym is what makes the difference >being motivated by hope and love is much more effective than being motivated by anger 298 Replies / 75 Images View Thread

Anon is LITERALLY DYING!!! | /r/Greentext

03/22/23(Wed)08:05:20 No.72666250 >III and literally dying >Mom told me to get my stupid ass to work tomorrow >Dad kept on insist it's my fault and especially the work of 'my phone' >Sister doesn't give a s--- and kept on looking at her phone >Brother kept telling jokes about my current situation : Anonymous 1006 KB GIF >meanwhile I am literally rolling on the floor in pain and puking every 3 minutes >this later for an hour before the pain finally stopped briefly and I decided to go back to my room for some rest instead what's wrong with my family : Anonymous >>72666250 (OP) # >Ill and literally dying 03/22/23(Wed)08:11:50 No.72666291 >has enough strength/willpower to post his s----- greentext on r9k I hope you die OP

FatAnon vegetablemaxxes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)18:48:07 No.896314218 Im going to tell you one of my most f----- child hood memories >Be me >Be a super fat ass kid like 149 KB JPG under 8 years old >eat a f--- ton of broccoli and carrots, like a f--- because im such a fat ass like 300 pound 6-7 year old >go to pool >started swimming and there was a kid playing with me >we play and swim for a while it was fun >apparently I accidentally drank some pool water, maybe a lot idk enough to have a effect on all the s--- I ate >suddenly I need to s--- NOW! >ass just opens and completely undigested broccoli and carrots fall out my ass, my ass is just dispensing broccoli and carrots >kid just see's theres f------ broccoli and carrots coming out out my pants >w-- annon >he doesnt know im s------- them out, he just think I had that s--- in my pants for some f------ reason >of f--- oh f--- >I get out of the pool to go to the bathroom >trail of f------ broccoli and carrots coming out of my pants on the way >make it to the toilet and s--- my f------ brains out >toilet is f------ COMPLETELY full of broccoli, COMPLETELY TO THE BRIM I cant let nobody know this

Anon is straight btw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/23(Wed)22:03:15 DUDE, I FOUND THIS CONDOM IN YOUR BED! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S FOR ME? 1638442001855.png 2.22 MB PNG No.30181570 T-Hoodie TWITTER.COM/HOODIEDRAWS ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE? IT'S TOO BIG FOR ME, SILLY! I wish I had a faggy bottom friend who comes over to play vidya and watch anime with me and keeps trying to bait me into gay situations. and doing weird s--- in my room like taking off his clothes and sleeping in my bed. I'm straight btw.

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