Anon has a question | /r/Greentext
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![File: not chad.jpg (67 KB, 640x888) ☐ I met him Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)09:36:56 No.72716949 [Reply] ► >>72717854 >>72718830 >Be me, just turned 25 >Get new job, start last Monday as junior dev with startup >First day is orientation, HR stuff, meet the team, get a badge, getting a laptop. Pretty excited, first job after school. >Two senio=r dev's invite me to join them for lunch at one of the picnic tables in the plaza outside the building, we all get doordash >Eating when the senior guys says "There he is" >Look over, black benz parks in a reserved spot near the back entrance/plaza >See the guy inside swap out from sunglasses, gets out >Easily 6'2", in shape, blonde hair, lumberjack beard, broad shoulders, dress slacks and dress shirt, etc. >Walks over, greets the other two guys, turns to me >Bright blue eyes, warm smile, I feel like there is a spotlight on me, >"You must be the new guy! I'm Anon, what's your name?" >He talks to me for a minute or two, I am totally relaxed and at ease (normally I hate talking to strangers). He then talks shop a bit with the guys with me about our main software product. Goes on his way >Senior guy "You just met 50% of our profits. Anon the Salesman makes us as much as the other 8 salesmen and the sales manager put together. When he takes week off the principal investors don't sleep well." >Over the rest of the week I meet him a few more times, learn about him >Bought the car with his bonus from 2022. >Has a condo nearby >He's into cigars, whiskey, and is a donor to the local opera, goes to the opera all the time The final straw >Saw a picture of him from 3 years previous when he was hired. Surprised he had a strong jaw, thought guys grew beards to hide a weak chin. Commented he had a baby face. >My manager, "yeah, that's why he grew the beard, makes it harder to guess his age" >What? >"He just turned 26 last month" I met Chadwick Chaddington III, Baron of Chaddex, Lord of Chadsen Manor and f--- it hurts](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/437/fd8.png "anon meets chad | /r/Greentext")
![O school Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)11:32:30 No.72718208 [Reply] ► >>72718558 School Stories Thread,I went to a pretty s--- school, so alot of stories. K-12 so I was with the same people. Gonna bounce around, these arent gonna be in order. >Be me, about 17 at the time. >School had a bad geese problem, almost everywhere on the lawn had s--- on it >Before you ask, there was more than once it was human. >Sitting with a friend of mine, Fredrick. Tard, but good kid. >Overhear some girl talking to her friend about how she would suck a dude off to get rid of the geese. >Nudge Fredrick and tell him. >I see an idea come over his face, and he hauls ass somewhere >Think hes gonna take a s---, and I just pull my phone out of my bag and d--- around. >Bell rings, and we have to go inside >Like 20 minutes later, in the computer lab. >hear screaming outside, Go outside to check on it. >F------ Fredrick killed a geese, brought it the half mile back to the front of the school, and is swinging it like a lasso screaming "I AM AN APLHA MALE" at the top of his lungs >This was 2020, so every man wanted to be an "Alpha Male" >My sides are in orbit, secretary is screaming. >I dont remember exactly what happened, but because of some random law, It was "Self Defense". >mfw day later Fredrick comes back to school like nothing happened.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/416/d58.png "anon is a bad friend | /r/Greentext")
![O Anonymous 03/27/23 (Mon)01:58:40 No.72720514 [Reply] ► >>72720625 >be me in highschool >stoner >always skip school to smoke with friend who is also stoner >always meet up and school then leave to go smoke >only place near the school that's secluded is a drain, basically a tunnel that you can sit / crawl in but not stand >one day we're in the drain and we notice a bong, not ours >there are others >write a message on the wall, "hello?" >come back a few days later, underneath is written "hi" >h-------- >start communicating with the unknown stoners >become friends >we always use their bong because it's better than ours even though it sits in a drain (we were gross) >one day friend comes and says he has some great weed >go to smoke it after school even though I need to take a s--- >end up smoking for ages and it's completely dark >we go to leave, but I want one big hit from the bong before we go >take the biggest rip possible >oh f--- >cough so hard I start to s--- my pants >rush out of the drain, wipe ass with leaves and ditch underwear, friend asks what's wrong, I say don't worry about it I'll be back in a sec >think it's not that bad >go back to drain after half an hour of blindly wiping in the dark >friend is still there >"what the f--- is that smell" >"I don't know what you're talking about bro" and go to take another hit from bong >he turns on light from phone >it's everywhere >I look like Augustus Gloop when he fell in the chocolate river >finger marks of s--- all over the bong where I touched it >friend almost vomits >he is a bro though, helps me clean myself using a puddle >we get most of it >we leave, forget about the bong >take the train home, people are getting up and moving to other carriages >come back a few days later >bong is gone >new message on the wall >"what the f--- is wrong with you, why did you smear s--- all over our bong? Kys" >never got another message on the wall or saw the bong again I miss you drain buddies, sorry about your bong](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/394/23b.png "anon misses his bong buddy :-( | /r/Greentext")
![File: tomato.png (16 KB, 211x239) O w-- Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)12:09:42 No.72718607 [Reply] > be me > 16 > look like a tomato when my face turns red > get really hot and sweaty in every season but winter > turn bright red when i play sport or exercise > chad bullies me and calls me a tomato > p-----.jpg > get angry and shout at chad > she starts crying > runs out of restaurant > the staff run out and comfort her > get even more red > he calls me a burnt tomato > ff to a week ago > on my first date > qt 3.14 girl from my school meets me at restaurant > she orders f------ tomato soup > face is already red because im shy > fml.jpg > she tells me to look into the soup > "look, they must have given me an extra tomato" > years of bullying boil up > grab bowel of soup and throw it at her face > "whos red now stupid bitch" > ff to yesterday > new kid transfers from neighbouring town > really sickly, goes really white when about to vomit > kids joke that he goes green like broccoli > chad gets an idea > locks me and him in a classroom in burning summer heat > says hes making vegetable soup > his friends throw water through the window > new kid cries and vomits on my shirt > "wow, looks like the tomatos been seasoned" is my life f----- /b/ros? can i come back from this?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/558/350/946.png "anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext")
![: Anonymous (ID: (U8hAAFRw Far-Left Magazine Shuts Down After Indian Migrant Editor Allegedly Rapes Antifa Activist The migrant r---- the organizer a second time after she made him read feminist essays httpsnational file.com far-left-magazine-shuts-down-after-indian- 05/16/20(Sat)04:34:31 No.257622530 migrant-editor-allegedly-rapes-antifa-activist.png 124 KB PNG https://nationalfile.com/far-left-magazine-shuts- down-after-indian-migrant-editor-allegedly-rapes- antifa-activist/ : Anonymous (ID: CulpTOOvv) → 05/16/20(Sat)05:41:26 No.257628578 >>257622530 (OP) # This entire article is like one big "what the f---". : Anonymous (ID: RMCORrFO) 05/16/20(Sat)05:41:28 No.257628586 BASED PAJEET. 193 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: zwvNBRvr Hudson Bookselle Escape Refresh EDKglNuXUAInMgk.jpg 158 KB JPG This is him in the mustache. Anonymous (ID: tRIcLBfO) >>257622530 (OP) # 05/16/20(Sat)05:43:39 No.2576288 Why did the slut report it? Does she hate migrants that much? She should have shut her mouth for the good of diversity. Stupid racist. >>257622530 (OP) # Alpha as f--- Based poos at it again >Raven, an African-American former sex worker, is a prominent advocate of mass migration and releasing illegal aliens. 05/16/20(Sat)04:56:31 No.25762 H--------. Based as f--- poo. : Anonymous (ID: cVAzhKRj >>257622530 (OP) # >Khanna had been abusing her and then committed a r--- against her. Raven then confronted him, demanded an apology and asked him to read 98 KB PNG four feminist essays. After Khanna agreed to read the articles, he r---- her again, the accuser says. : Anonymous (ID: RYZ7uKMK) Anonymous (ID: 12EiU7fX) >>257622530 (OP) # Based and lasagnapilled. >>257624807 # >>257624858 # 05/16/20(Sat)04:58:31 No.257624645 Anonymous (ID: s3pdd71F) 2 KB JPG hambeast? 05/16/20(Sat) 05:3 >>257624645 # That was probably what the others told her the first time. v1wisgsgkkgz.jpg 591 KB JPG >No, don't you see? The alt-right will use this to hurt the poor brown refugees. Show how stronk you are. For them. >Gets r---- a second time: "f--- this s--- I quit." Anonymous (ID: SjTlknrt) [+] 05/16/20(Sat)05:00:14 No.257624807 05/16/20(Sat)05:21:11 No.257626722 >>257625271 # >Former Sex Worker >"Former" OH NO NO NO NO Am I supposed to feel bad for that Anonymous (ID: (hmZY1/Vr) Based Pajeet 05/16/20(Sat)04:38:18 No.257622866 >>257622530 (OP) # >the migrant r---- the organizer a second time after she made him read a feminist essays 05/16/20(Sat)04:57:59 No.257624601 I no ask for vegene I TAKE](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/558/349/743.jpg "Anon finds a hilarious article. | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon has a question | /r/Greentext
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