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Anonymous | 182372431 84.8 KB PNG 3 REPLIES 286.9 kB GIF >be me >work at corporate job >it's progressive so we have unisex bathroom >have IBS so I take frequent bathroom breaks >always get self conscious about the noises I make and try to be quick and quiet and make sure no one is in there when I go >one day I see a qt female coworker go into a stall after I'm about to leave >she's grunting and farting up a storm in the stall 10 min ago... >think she has IBS too so I take my time washing my hands so Ican start up some small talk when she gets out >she comes out of the stall to wash her hands and I say to her "you too, huh?" >she looks confused so I explain about how I have IBS >she didn't say much and leaves quickly >a week later HR calls me in to yell at me because I "harassed a female employee and made her uncomfortable" man I f------ hate women so much bros 1 IMAGE Anonymous 182372467 >>182372431 (OP) >GOOD DAY M'LADY REPLY 8 min ago ... >I NOTICED THAT PERCHANCE YOU MAY HAVE THE AFFLICTION OF THE BOWELS AS WELL, MY DEAR! AM I CORRECT IN THIS ASS-UMPTION? AHAHA! >... What's that? HR would like to see me?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 558 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon think’s he is cheating | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous School 08/24/22(Wed)11:23:29 No.884460822 >be me, high school >Don't know s--- in class >Decide to download an app to cheat >The app takes me to a YouTube channel where a guy tells me answers and explains how to do the problem so I can pass the tests >I use this to get through high school Did anyone else cheat like this? 142 KB PNG : Anonymous >>884460822 (OP) # W-- are you on about? 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:42 No.884460867 08/24/22(Wed)11:24:50 No.884460873 : Anonymous You literally just learned.. with extra steps

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I love you, gay bowser | /r/Greentext

/fit/ Anonymous WHY AM I SO F------ AUTISTIC /(...) 10 KB JPG 12/25/20(Fri)21:07:31 No.59039844 >Be me >starting to go to the gym in 2019 >never talk to anyone in there because too autistic >one day i go to the coffee machine, a girl start talking to me, we keep talking and i notice her Mario T-shirt >mfw she tells me she is a nintendofag >im happy, we keep talking and over time we get really close to each other, but im too f------ autistic to do the first step >one day she f------ tells me to come with her at home >i stare her for like 20 seconds, i don't know what to say >my autism kicks in >i scream "here we go! i need to save the princess, let's go ! *with a italian accent* >she ask me if im serious ? ( everyone looked at us because i screamed) >i notice that everyone is looking at me >i scream "Oh mama mia wahahahaha yaahooooo" and run out

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Anons are not happy with where they were born | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 KB PNG 33 Replies / 10 Images JBKChad THE 03/30/23(Thu)10:05:36 No.72762408 >be me >born in this s------- Its over... ............. >>72762675 # >One chance at life >Be born Romanian >have s--- culture >no popular media 166 KB JPG >no popular music >famous for nothing but gysps 03/30/23(Thu)11:02:10 No.72762711 View Thread >Be a third world tier pajeet level country >Have small tiny d---- Its over

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Chadlet anon uses his brain | /r/Greentext

game-of-thrones-eastwatch-01.jpg 1.97 MB JPG >be 5'5 manlet >otherwise pretty good looking >wear platform shoes that bring me up to 6ft >go out on dates it off I start reducing my platform shoes by an inch every month >by month 6 they don't even remember that I was initially taller and they're still into me (first impressions matter the most) >move on to the next girl once I get bored >rinse and repeat It's not that hard being a manlet if you have a brain.

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Anon is a good boyfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 17 KB PNG 01/16/19(Wed) 20:36:36 No.50461059 >Thought long and hard about cheating on my boyfriend with Chad >Ultimately chose not to I am such a good person... : Anonymous >>50461059 (OP) # You're a good guy anon. Most gays I know are cheaters. 01/16/19(Wed) 20:37:33 No.50461073

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Anon is a farter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Who here /farter/ 75 KB JPG 03/30/23(Thu)09:37:02 No.72762228 >Be me >Fart hard and often >Start getting all these annoying pimples and ingrown hairs on my ass, hips and legs >Sick of it so go to doc to get a cream or something >He asks me about my hygeine etc >Tell him I shower twice a day, sometimes 3 times, wash my clothes regularly and wash my bed sheets once a week >Asks me if I have alot of flatulence or pass gas often >Say I fart hard quite regularly. Tell him I sometimes wake myself up at night due to the sound and concussive effect on the bed springs >Explains to me that all the s--- bacteria and particles are getting trapped in my underwear, pants and bed sheets >Explains that Im literally rolling around in my own s--- particles all day >Explains that those particles are causing skin infections >Now have to go see an a------ doctor and go on a special diet F--- my life.

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Anon wants to be a Witcher | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/23(Wed)22:59:00 No.72757042 I'm a hardcore Witcher fan, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be in Kaer Morhen where I would often train with Geralt in the training yard and help Ciri with her multidimensional adventures, but one day as I was talking to Ciri, we went to my room for a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live on earth and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How.. How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!" This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Avallach and he agreed that you would be PERFECT for our world, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "... You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Avallach said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?..." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut...if you want it quick...Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works. 32 KB JPG I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.

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anon feels happiness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52362804 77.9 kB JPG >be me >go on 6th date with 22 y/o girl this wednesday (I'm 18, total score) >we watch shows in a room alone >we hold each other >she's so soft and warm >I walk her to her car later >we kiss on the lips >myfirstkiss.jpg 3 hr. ago >she initiated the lip kiss too >texts me later saying she liked it >says she'll give me lessons since I'm new to kissing >going out again next week I think I've made it bros 3 REPLIES 4 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon has a pillow fight | /r/Greentext

Verification not required. 2... 964 KB PNG 03/30/23(Thu)08:20:17 No.72761788 is it weird to have a pillow fight with your mom (as a sleepover in the basement with just your mom)?

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Anon wears a burka | /r/Greentext

File: Burka-Women.jpg (45 KB, 627x400) Bradley 03/29/16(Tue)13:43:56 No.27489824>>27489889 >>27489940 >>27489981 >>27490052 >be me >kissless virgin >27 years old >live with mom >cop waves me over >ma'am, do you want to press charges? >shitsrealnow.wav >so socially anxious that I can't leave the house without covering my face >terrified someone will make unobstructed eye contact >wear a burka when going out >one day walking down the street in my burka >going to gas station to buy some MtDew >someone shouts that I am a terrorist and throws a beer bottle at me from their truck >fuckthathurts.jpg >a cop across the street sees and gives chase >pulls him over, yanks him out of the truck, handcuffs him >justice.txt >bitch out, say no >next day see police reports in local newspaper >guy was charged with a hate crime for assaulting a minority >mfw I'm a white male

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Anon finally get his last wish | /r/Greentext

Wrestlemania WRESTLEMANIA TURPI SUNGAPOR ROMAN REIGNS CODY RHODES and 1.01 MB JPG >Be me > Have terminal bone marrow cancer > expected to live out by the summer > have had a great life desu > have had friends who really cared about me > have parents who love me with everything they have > but still feels like Im missing something > always been a wrestling fan > never been to a wrestlemania event in my life > sad because the reality of it is that I will never live to see one > my mom and dad sees that something is bothering me > tells them about my last wish before I leave this earth > feel sad but also feel more relived to talk about it > a few days later > my parents surprise me with tickets > f--- yeah Im traveling to wrestlemania > I hug my parents and tell them that I love them > that moment when Im traveling to California with my parents to see Cody Rhodes beat up Roman reigns I love my parents, I might not have long left but this really makes my life feel complete. Might not be much for you guys but this mean a lot to me. Take better care of your parents. They are really the best.

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Irony levels are off the fucking charts | /r/Greentext

5 KB JPG Average 4chinner >Morbidly obese (or extremely under weight) >Hideous looks (personality is somehow even worse) >Either unemployed or working at a minimum wage job >Complete lack of hygiene >J------- to the most god forbidden s--- on earth, degenerated beyond repair >Their topmost priority in life: getting into a relationship With stats like that, good luck trying to get a chick

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to the toilet | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous | 182372431 84.8 KB PNG 3 REPLIES 286.9 kB GIF >be me >work at corporate job >it's progressive so we have unisex bathroom >have IBS so I take frequent bathroom breaks >always get self conscious about the noises I make and try to be quick and quiet and make sure no one is in there when I go >one day I see a qt female coworker go into a stall after I'm about to leave >she's grunting and farting up a storm in the stall 10 min ago... >think she has IBS too so I take my time washing my hands so Ican start up some small talk when she gets out >she comes out of the stall to wash her hands and I say to her "you too, huh?" >she looks confused so I explain about how I have IBS >she didn't say much and leaves quickly >a week later HR calls me in to yell at me because I "harassed a female employee and made her uncomfortable" man I f------ hate women so much bros 1 IMAGE Anonymous 182372467 >>182372431 (OP) >GOOD DAY M'LADY REPLY 8 min ago ... >I NOTICED THAT PERCHANCE YOU MAY HAVE THE AFFLICTION OF THE BOWELS AS WELL, MY DEAR! AM I CORRECT IN THIS ASS-UMPTION? AHAHA! >... What's that? HR would like to see me?

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