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10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618 : Anonymous >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon has a reasonable take (Red text) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: liUFjiY/) Women should get drafted into (...) 1.27 MB PNG 05/09/23(Tue)16:17:44 No.426416926 Women should get drafted into wars. It is basic logic, there is no reason for them not to be. Almost anyone can pick up a gun and aim it and take care of it, almost anyone can carry a 15kg backpack, and can be taught to operate certain tools >B...b..but they are weaker I know men who are as weak as women, should they be excluded as well? Just get stronger by excercise, dont blame genetics >But what if the woman gets r---- well tough luck, anyone can get r---- in unfortunate circumstances There is literally no reason to tell anyone to pick up a gun, teach them everything and send them to the front lines

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Anon is watching Star Wars | /r/Greentext

e: Motti.jpg (51 KB, 960x540) Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)22:08:49 No.74025167 >>74027165 That's what happens in that scene. > Boss is a 7 foot tall asthmatic cyborg > Who has a laser sword that can cut through anything >>74025498 >>74025744 >>74025773 >>74026692 >>74027051 >>74027090 >>74027126 > And can crush peoples' throats with his mind > Motti knows all this because these Jedi people were running around blowing up droid armies single handed when he was young > Makes fun of the guy's religion to his face For the record: If you did this in real life, where you're at a meeting and your boss says "We're hitting our sales targets" and you say "EARNIN' MORE SHEKELS, MR. GOLDSTEIN? I BET YOU LIKE THAT YOU F------ JEW." the least that would happen is you'd get fired. If your boss had a laser sword and sounded like James Earl Jones, he'd probably stab you, too. Look at this smarmy f---. Anonymous 09/05/16(Mon)23:09:32 No.74027126 >>74025167 (OP) So imagine Colin Powell is getting ready to invade Iraq, and for some reason he has this monk hanging around him. No one really knows why this monk is hanging around, but he's Cheney's right hand man, and has some mysterious history with him so has to be treated respectfully. While the Joint Chiefs Of Staff are discussing invasion plans, the monk says "all your weapons of war are insignificant compared to shaolin kung fu" So general Petraues is like "ok, MR Miyagi, but grownups are talking" And then the monk hadoukens him. >>74027212 >>74027284 >>74027321

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Anon has a redeeming quality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 7 KB PNG 05/10/23(Wed)22:03:53 No.899025786 >If I ever lose weight, my chest hair will cover up my stretch marks What's your one redeeming quality, /b/ros? 05/10/23(Wed) 22:05:57 No.899025849 >>899025786 (OP) # If my pp doesn't work i can always c-- without a boner : Anonymous >>899025786 (OP) # : Anonymous >>899025786 (OP) # I can use my foreskin as a condom so when i fap i don't spill c-- everywhere 05/10/23(Wed) 22:07:29 No.899025 05/10/23(Wed) 22:13:12 No.899026090

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Anon misses his cabin | /r/Greentext

126 KB JPG >work for forestry service >used to spend 2-3 days at a time in cabin an hour and a half from my house >really it was a house in the middle of the woods that got eminent domained back in the 80s >pretty much only function is to guard the gate blocking the access road the house is on,look for lost people etc >no internet, no tv, but still had electric, water came from a well, and had septic >had landline phone and shortwave radio for emergencies >gas generator in case power lines went down >windows barred and reinforced doors cause bears >wife came with me sometimes >we spent most of those times f------ or playing vidya >when I was there alone I'd just game or watch movies on a tv and ps3 I'd bring with me >sometimes I'd just fap a bunch >most I've ever dealt with is drunk college kids looking for a place to party >when I was off a huge storm brought a tree down on cabin >coworker on duty was unharmed but got caught cheating on his girlfriend >dude would take chicks from Craigslist there to f--- >luckily nobody knew about me bringing my wife there >house torn down replaced with fire tower >I got relocated to a comfy desk job ten minutes from home cause back injury a while after >coworker got fired >I miss it sometimes

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Fitizen is inspired | /r/Greentext

File: 99309.jpg (185 KB, 994x671) MINS TRC Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)09:51:11 No.70905165 [Reply]► >>70905227 >>70905240 >>70905425 >Rich brah check out Anon down there, he's going nuts brah >I've been watching him this whole time Zyzz, and everyday I just get prouder! >He just keeps getting better by the day, even thought the s----- days piled up, he keeps killing it at the gym >Brah it's f------ insane. Even in a world surrounded by the saddest kunts he says f--- that and stays a sick k---, even out of the gym brah >It warms my heart Zyzz. Out of the gym, inside the gym, it doesn't matter. Anon is always doing whatever it takes! >Brah, imma level with ya Rich >What's good brother? >Even if anon forgets us...as long as he never forgets himself...I think it was all worth it >Anon will never forget to love himself again bro, we'll be watching everyday to make sure he becomes even better than us >Yeah brah, he'll never let anyone take his smile, or his gainz

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Anon Summarises The Joe Rogan Experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Xo9XXPi 07/09/21(Fri)15:31:33 No.329330169 >>329330390 >>329330398 >>329330764 >>329331490 >>329331540 >>329331748 >>329332643 >>329336908 >>329337049 File: images - 2021-04-30T192555.700.jpg (17 KB, 480x360) >>329329430 (OP) >"The thing is... (Joe leans into the mic) fat isn't the problem. Carbs and sugar is the problem. Ever eat nuts man? Nuts are good for you." >Guest: "uh... Yeah I eat nuts. I used to pick peanuts back when I was a kid and they were in the season." >Joe: "Nice, nice. Like from a tree?" >Guest: "No, they grow in the ground." >(Joe nearly s---- himself in surprise) "What?" >(His guest try not to sound condescending) >Guest: Peanuts grow in the ground kind of like--- >Joe: "Jamie, Google this right now. Jamie Google peanuts growing in the ground. H--------." >Guest: "Yeah just like that. They grow in the ground like potatoes." >Joe: "Well... (Breaths heavily into the mic) That makes sense. They couldn't grow on trees because squirrels would f--- them up. Imagine that? Imagine how much squirrels would f--- up a peanut tree. Squirrels are basically tiny chimpanzees."

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Anon goes on a date with a real qt 3.14 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F) 4 KB JPG 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of >nothing even remotely close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"

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anon has an abusive relationship | /r/Greentext

People can't be this f------ bad Andy People can't be this f------ b(...) 05/10/23(Wed)11:15:56 No.73266325 >be me, 16 >girl I'm spending 99% of the time with >she's pretty nice on the outside, good looks and acts nice at first >my first love.mpeg >spend 4 months in a bliss, we cuddle and joke and spend all the time together >see many flaws the further it gets, but close my eyes on them, cuz I like spending time w/ her >though, throughout she doesent really care about me or show genuene interest. Unless I initiate she doesn't do anything >confront her, she pretends to care and says nice things >not f------ a week later 4 KB JPG >same s--- nothing changed she s--- talkes me even more, there is no way this is all just ironic and meta >spend 2 more months back and forth confronting and her not doing anything and getting worse >she now ignores me up to days and I still reply the very minute she sends a message. >s--- talking is basically all she says, turns every attempt at a normal talk into s--- talking me >but God forbid I don't respect her and her desires >mind you every time I mention something I don't like that she does she does it even more >basically s--- is like, it's either her way, or nothing. >can't believe I'm still with her, unleash all the s--- I've been eating >"don't you have other people to talk to" "" "I don't like these conversations" "you already told me that" "don't like it just leave" >that's enough, leave her for the time >see her later that day, say hi because I don't like ignoring people >acts as if I wasn't there Thats enough, I've eaten this s--- for like, 3 moths, all the good in this has ended long ago, she just keeps getting worse and worse. I know her well now, and now that she will not change. She is also a bad influence, dragged my grades into abyss. The only thing I will miss about her is touching her, there is not any more worth to her than that.

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Anon walks into a gym | /r/Greentext

File: 1.jpg (87 KB, 810x362) O Anonymous 05/10/23(Wed)00:36:58 No.70904333 [Reply] ► >walk into a gym (in San Andreas) >I've got two tickets to paradise >Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight >I've got two tickets to paradise >I've got TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE Anonymous 05/10/23 (Wed)00:58:16 No.70904418 >walk into the gym >put headphones on >volume 100% >"I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT" >OH LORD >AND IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT >FOR ALL MY LIFE >OH LORD

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Anon is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yZAQfQax) 02/05/23(Sun)19:53:16 No.415026429► >>415026671 >>415027091 >>415028106 >>415028857 File: 1533672731893.jpg (58 KB, 719x442) Ofbyld Hannah Hays Me in my buddy is going to bed.. 00 >>415025293 20 @hannahhaysxxx. Jan 10 147 562 in! Hannah Hays is the story of the death of America, a microcosm of what happened to this nation. 60 years ago the doctors would've told Hannah's parents she'd be a bit simple for the rest of her life, but she'd be self sufficient for the most part. Her father would have a good job in Georgia making enough to support her and his wife, then her family would help her find a good husband to take care of her and she'd be married to a young man with a stable well paying job to support her. Eventually they'd have kids and even though she couldn't teach them calculus she'd love and care for them in a safe environment and live happily ever after. But we live in this clown world now and this poor girl must sell her body to the jews to help her parents pay their bills as she's forced to demean herself, f------ blacks and thugs. Her need for a "mental health support lizard" is her maternal instinct begging for a child and purpose in life. She is a human being and deserves dignity, but her culture has deprived her of that and guided her towards degeneracy and emptiness. In a better world, a world where white men defended their daughters from debauchery, where christian worship is daily and ubiquitous, where we are autonomous citizen farmers free from globalized influences, a world where we take care of our kin instead of exploiting them, we wouldn't have let this happen. But we became weak. Our culture cannot be put back, not be made right again. It is dead and we have killed it. Hannah is like a tombstone on that culture's grave.

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Hat for the win | /r/Greentext

ne 1-jpg) Anonymous 11/29/09(Sun)02:54 No.43394102 Oh no, you beat me in a Pokemon battle! But I don't have any money! Perhaps there's something else you want, hmmmm.. Larfleeze !ItLUJYVXJ38 11/29/09102:54 File 1259481293.jpg Anonymous 11/29/09(Sun)02:55 No.43394166 File 1259481328 jpg-(38 KB, 500x375, dawn.jpg) >>43394129 I'm sorry, what? GIVE ME YOUR HAT ? E WHICH ONE OF You WEEDLES IS READY FOR AN ASS WHOOPIN?! ILOLZ.COM

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Anon has a racist mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB JPG 05/10/23(Wed)07:18:03 No.73265328 >be me >mom was always nagging me for having no gf >meet nice girl >I am white and she is Desi >we get along well >she seems to be the first girl to ignore my autistic behavior >share the same hobbies >she introduces me to a lot of her culture >seeing each other for 5 months >eventually loose virginity to her >mfw after all the suffering I finally got a gf >tell mom about this >she asks me what race she is >confused.jpg >she is of Indian descent >mom gets mad >starts yelling at me >tells me to break up >ask her why >"I want my son to be with a nice white girl not a shitskin w----" >leave the house and spend the night at gfs I always thought that my mom just wanted me to finally have a girlfriend. I didnt know that it has to be explicitly a WHITE girlfriend

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Greentext Stories - Anon examines | /r/Greentext

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10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618 : Anonymous >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists

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