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>be me Do I even >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy lift? >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon changes his life by being a fool | /r/Greentext

39 KB JPG >be 17 year old me >drug addict, bad area and also poor >didn't have money for drugs anymore >need muh drugs >f--- I need drugs NOW >devise a devious lick >take mask, airsoft gun >walk into small grocery store >"gib cash" >owner looks at me >tells me that he's closing and I should come back tomorrow >I yell at him, point gun at him >he says "come back tomorrow, I'm closing now" again >pic related >I'm extremely irritated, but I have no choice since my gun ain't real and I don't have the balls to use violence >go home >go to sleep >have extremely bad withdrawal symptoms >sweaty all night, throw up, nightmares >next day I wake up >realize I tried to rob a store >acknowledge I have an issue >do rehab >be 21 year old me now >sober for 4 years and no hiccups or relapse >normal job normal life >never saw the grocery dude since then

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This community requires the title to be at least 10 characters long | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am giving women one last cha(...) 06/13/23(Tue)13:09:19 No.73660213 CALL DUTY BLACK OPSI 1Srv7u3xDx069WG6UyVsePQ.jpg 28 KB JPG If 6 months from today I do not have a gf, I will see that as a declaration of war by the entire female gender. And let's just say, it is not a war I plan on losing.

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 06/13/23(Tue)13:34:14 No.900861211 >match with cute guy on tinder >We go on a really cute date, where we vibe at the beach under some blankets with wine >Brought him back to my place; cleaned my room just in case >We're making out, he's feeling me up, I'm rubbing my p---- against his thigh >"I want to fill you up slut. >Hot. "Yes. Do it fill me up." >He pulls on my tights, kissing my hips bones but before he really starts to take them off he stops and asks, >"You're not one of those girls with a penis are you?" >"No." >He leaves. I watched him get in his car and with out looking at me drive away View Thread

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Anon loves his wife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/23(Tue)04:11:00 No.900857859 >Hey anon! What do you think? Does your wife looks good? Oh... you're so sweet... You were so nice to help me prepare for Chad tonight. You even shaved my p----! What a good hubby you are. Anyway, don't call me, I won't answer, I'm only his tonight. Oh don't be too sad... You're still the only man I love! 134 KB JPG

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Anon is in a coma | /r/Greentext

>be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a massive gash on her head 60 KB JPG >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >I swerve out of the way holding my son >I wake up in a hospital >I had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >I ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.

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Anon discusses the alien whistleblower | /r/Greentext

File: 501Q.png (1.18 MB, 1344x896) *oooooooooooyf* Anonymous 06/09/23(Fri)20:08: >be me, alien, year 1992 >visiting earth for tourism, beaches look fun >crash land >taken to a f------ laboratory >the US government probes me >probes me until I c-- buckets >*oyyyyyyffffff oyffffffff oyyyyyyyyyfffffffffffffff oyyyyyyyyyyyyyffffff* >they take the buckets, feeling very used now >they conduct experiments on my sperm >FFWD to 2023, Gen Z researcher is in the lab with me >we start dating, and we get married >he is a man but has a womb >I impregnate him *OYF* >now have 50 IQ half human child, subject of whistleblower's leaks, picrel

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 06/12/23(Mon)23:02:35 No.73657109 >be me >meet qt3.14 >we start drinking >go home with her >seggz interesting >says she could be into a date >couple days pass 2 Replies >wasprettygood.jpg >we talk after, she's pretty cool and >we talk >she says she doesn't see anything happening between us : Anonymous >mfw this is why it's a mistake to feel emotions for any kind of women. please heed my advice robots, doesn't matter if you can't get sex regardless. in the end it's all just temporary happiness that fades and when it does it hurts that much more than if you had nothing View Thread 06/12/23(Mon)23:09:52 No.73657174 : Anonymous >>73657109 (OP) # You're on a board of shut-in virgins and you're asking for woman advice. F--- off Chad you don't belong here enjoy your pump and dump 06/12/23(Mon)23:22:23 No.73657274

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Anon needs advice | /r/Greentext

8576FC46-0718-452D-B071-8(...).jpg (17 KB, 480x360) google yandex iqdb wait M Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)15:02:45 No.900826140 >>900826323 >>900826357 >be me around 2017 >19 years old at a party >meet a kinda pretty alt girl >we go at my house to have sex >tells me she's on the pill but i don't want to take the chance and put a condom anyway >tells me that before we start i should go wash my d---, i'm a clean guy and showered before going but I don't think much of it because hygiene is important >sex >wake up we leave and all is good >a month later i leave to go to uni and never see her again >fastforward to today >a cop comes at my house >turns out SHE GOT PREGNANT >she broke the condom while i was in the bathroom and i was too excited to notice >she hid my son from me for 5 YEARS >she R---- and phisically abused him for all this time >she kept him in HER F------ BASEMENT and they only found him because she was trying to kidnap another kid from an elementary school >she did all this for so long and I was none the wiser and now i will probably have to be the father of a severely traumatized kid Am I criminally liable for what she did? Will i have to send him to the orphanage? I'm not ready to be a dad ☐ Anonymous 06/12/23(Mon)15:06:37 No.900826323 ✓ >>900826140 (OP) best to just send the kid to an orphanage

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These hoes aint loyal - anon | /r/Greentext

89 KB PNG >Weehard.wav >Be me >Pic related >See good looking 7/10 qt >She is coming closer >"Hey there." >omg she is talking to me >Unload the most massive shart i have ever made. >"Ummmm. Your sitting on my son." >mfw i got arrested for harassment. >mfw i s--- on a child These hoes ain't loyal

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Anon finds hot ass | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.27170460 11 hours ago >>27168754 (OP) >Be on patrol in Iraq >VBIED explodes a few blocks away >We go to secure the area and I, a medic, go to treat casualties >Platoon Sergeant is with me >He points to a smoldering buttocks attached to nothing else >Looks at me and says "check out that hot piece of ass!" *** >Women are on their knees throwing sand over their shoulders to mourn >I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face 3 replies

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Anon has a revoluation | /r/Greentext

17 KB PNG >Girlfriend stop hanging out with me early because she wants to go home to take a poop >Confront her about it one day, telling her it's OK to use my bathroom to poop >She says she's too embarrassed about the possibility of stinking up my apartment. >Tell her just flush the minute poops hits the bowl, and there will be pretty much no smell. That the only reason bathrooms stink up is because people leave their poop in the bowl while they sit there or get up to wipe. >This is a huge revelation to her. She tries it out, and is amazed. Apparently I am the poop savior now. Women are silly.

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Anon Desantis does AI Journalism | /r/Greentext

ronaldmcdonald.png 1.11 MB PNG >Be me, local newspaper reporter >Newspaper can't afford photojournalists anymore, so they told me to make Al generated images for my articles >Editor realizes my Al images are way better than rest of office. He feeds me stories about the Republican primary, and I make funny photos of Desantis, Ramaswamy, Chris Christie, Nikki Haley, etc for illustrations >Tons of clicks, ratings are through the roof. My Al images are attached to very salacious stories syndicated to bigger newspapers. >Editor sends me the subject for my next story: "Ron Desantis celebrates Pride in 2018" >ronaldmcdonald.png >My editor canceled the article because it was "too obviously fake" Here's the photo though. What do you think bros?

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets feedback | /r/Greentext

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>be me Do I even >been hitting the gym really hard past few weeks and feelin beefy lift? >go to get a physical/flu shot from dr >he tells me to take my shirt off >"guess its pretty clear you aren't afraid of needles huh!" 18 KB JPG >oh haha i get comments like that alot but I'm actually natural and just have a strict lifting regime >blankstare.jpg >"I was talking about your tattoo, it's very obvious you aren't on steroids" So who crushed your self-esteem this week?

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