: Anonymous Please be patient I have autism 23 KB JPG autist 09/21/22(Wed)03:00:28 No.885965533 >Rockstar gets hacked >GTA 6 is leaked >The perpetrator is identified by the BBC as an autist >Who still lives with his mom and dad >Attends a special ed school >He's Albanian >Literally got hacked by a an Albanian Alright, which one of you was it?

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Anonymous 02/07/25(Fri)09:00:46 No.702351406 Overall, it is safer in our country - nobody will waylay you on your journey. And we treat women with greater respect and set great store by learning! Natsal Onal: I find wandless magic to be much more instinctive. Not to mention quite convenient if one is without their wand. humiliationrituals.png 1.73 MB PNG >dev inserts a black character randomly into the setting >proceeds to use them to talk down to the character >implies that western culture is inferior in some aspect >you can literally hear the dev cooming in the background as he gets a moral high off of doing this to you is there a term for this phenomenon?

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 318x159) Anti-Doge SHILLS and GLOWIES BTFO ETERNALLY Anonymous (ID: Y62GCO4K) E 02/06/25(Thu)16:34:47 No.496712462 >>496715886 >>496716354 >be me >lawyer, actually reads Trump's DOGE Executive Order >expecting some illegal power grab, but it's airtight >turns out Trump & Musk didn't create s----Obama did >Obama created United States Digital Service (USDS) in 2014 >was meant to fix Big Mike's t----- BFF's website after it launched as a flaming pile of DEI s--- >bureaucratic patch job to fix the Obamacare website meltdown >fast forward to 2025, Trump rebrands it DOGE (United States DOGE Service) >keeps the acronym, keeps the funding, but gives it a whole new mission: Find the Receipts >legally untouchable because it was already fully funded and operational >Trump invokes 5 USC 3161, which allows him to create temporary hiring authorities >DOGE teams get embedded inside every single federal agency >each team consists of a lawyer, HR rep,zoomer nerd, and an investigator >they report to DOGE, not the agency they're embedded in >but wait, there's more >Trump invokes 44 USC Chapter 35 which governs federal IT and cybersecurity oversight >since USDS was originally an IT oversight body, DOGE now has full access to all federal data systems >yes, all of them >executive order is written to block legal challenges >includes language that overrides conflicting executive orders >orders every agency to comply, refusing means they violate presidential authority >Congress can't defund it because it's not a new program, just a repurposed one >DOJ can't sue for overreach because Trump used existing laws exactly as written >Dems trying to file legal challenges, but they run into standing issues because DOGE operates within existing frameworks >Obama literally built the perfect Deep State IT backdoor >Trump & Musk just hacked the system and took the admin controls >Musk now has legal oversight of every major agency's internal systems the Deep State can't stop it without rewriting multiple federal laws >MFW they legally outplayed the system and there's nothing anyone can do about it >MFW Obama created DOGE

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me >Male nurse >Need pen >Check my front pocket >Find a rectal thermometer Some a------ has my pen. Settings Mobile Home 02/07/25(Fri)13:14:36 No.80292626 240 KB PNG Lähi- Apu

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The hope in mankind is lost for Anon........ | /r/Greentext

Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe 15 KB JPG >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

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Anon would want to go. | /r/Greentext

>Wanna say "Let's go" and "okay" >Said "Let's gay" >Got weird looks

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Anon talks about the balkan history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 534 KB PNG women 06/17/23(Sat)00:36:22 No.73697765 >Balkan history be like >former serbian pizza delivery boy turned military general leads his army against the 16th war of kosovo- albanian reunification >the albanians win because the general spent all his ammo on civilian targets and got distracted by local

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Anon is addicted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Corn Addicted 45 KB JPG >Be me >Love corn >Dad bought 4 corns for everyone in the house >Ate my share of corn >No one eats >Tomorrow morning >Cant eat corn >Genius_idea.png >Eat rest of the corn, buy, boil, replace >Corn cooked 4 Replies / 1 Image Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. View Thread

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anon is a landlord | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 181 KB JPG Anonymous 454 KB PNG 06/17/23(Sat)00:41:50 No.901041601 >You find out your daughter has started an OnlyFans Wat do??? >>901041601 (OP) # Begin charging rent. >>901041932 # >>901046376 # Anonymous >>901041601 (OP) # Continue molesting her >>901041834 # >>901043056 # 06/17/23(Sat)00:43:34 No.901041675 : Anonymous >>901041700 # Dubs confirm based 06/17/23(Sat)00:44:05 No.901041700 06/17/23(Sat)00:47:07 No.901041834

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Anon is mad at Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 378 KB PNG 2 Replies : Anonymous >REDDIT IS BAD BECAUSE.. BECAUSE.. IT JUST IS OK???? >>17873447 (OP) # ok calm down sir Anonymous get louder actually View Thread

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Anon teaches those normies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITT: Cringiest things you've d(...) 596 KB PNG 06/17/23(Sat)00:34:59 No.641003973 >be me in 10th grade english >Fallout: New Vegas just came out >teacher makes us each read out parts in Julius Caesar >get the role of Cassius >whenever I say Caesar's name I pronounce it "Kai-Sar" >teacher says "it's pronounced "See-ser" >smirk >"Actually, in classic latin it's pronounced it "Kai-Sar" >whole class thinks I'm a huge f----- for the rest of highschool

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Why are men and women like this? | /r/Greentext

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Anon's gf is trad material | /r/Greentext

Trad Wife Material Anonymous 06/16/23(Fri) 12:58:28 No.73694680 ► >>73694707 >>73694734 >>73694763 >Be me >17 year old Hispanic kid living in Texas >Date this blonde-haired white girl named Rebecca in high school >She's smokin hot, and we hit it off really well >White Catholic family moves to our town. The dad is a priest of a local church. Has a chad of a son named Brian, who just so happens to attend our school. >Rebecca starts to get cold towards me, not answering my calls >I go to her in person at school and confront her about it >Rebecca tells me she's gonna get with Brian and that we're done. >Tells me that she wants to be a traditional girl to become a worthy wife, and that I'm not husband material. >This_Bitch.jpg >She dumps me and ends up landing Brian Oh, silly Rebecca. You really think I'm letting you move on from this? Little does Brian know, I have some dirt on you. >Fast forward a few weeks later, and a bunch of us students are at a field trip at Big Bend >Brian and I are in the same group, hiking on a trail. >As we're walking, he asks me: "So I heard you and Rebecca used to date." "Yea. We dated." "What kind of girl was she like?" "Kinda kinky. We liked to mess around." "Oh really?" "Yep. As a matter of fact, Rebecca is a total slut. Prior to meeting me she went for all the brown and black boys and she racked up quite the body count." "Is that so?" >I can hear the disappointment in his voice. I'm pretty sure he had a sneaking suspicion Reb was not the chaste trad girl she told him she was. >A couple days later Brain breaks up with Reb in the high school parking lot. He wanted to break it to her gently, away from everyone, but Reb made quite the scene. >She ran out of his car crying and screaming "No!" "NOOOO!" >LMAO >Just according to keikaku >Eventually, Brian stopped attending our school and went to a private Catholic school 20 miles up the road.

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Anon Thinks About Horses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 NUT 42 KB JPG 06/14/23(Wed) 20:27:58 No.40025242 >mares usually wear clothes >their bare teats, p------ and ponuts touch everything they sit on and imbue it with their scent

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Anon is an excellent screenwriter | /r/Greentext

File: zoldon.jpg (152 KB, 348x365) The Legend Of Zelda The Movie (TM) Anonymous 06/16/23(Fri)15:49:42 No.640972302 >>640972579 >Illumination Zelda movie begins >"Hi. The name's Link. Just Link." >Voiced by Tom Holland. >"Some of you might know me as basically the bravest hero there ever was. Yeah, I'm a pretty big deal. Went from small town farmhand to dragon slaying legend, one might say. Chosen by the gods, not a bad gig." >Compilation of Link breaking people's pots, getting harassed by chickens, playing the flute poorly, flexing in the mirror. >"Yep. Even got in cozy with the Princess. Princess Zelda. There she is." >Zelda walks in slow motion, Link's jaw drops >"And everything was going just great. Well, until that Ganon guy showed up." >Zelda walks past Link and hops into Ganondorf's Bugatti. He puts his arm around her and drives off through a big puddle of mud, which gets all over Link. >Mario can be seen rolling his eyes in the background as a Cool Easter Egg. >"Yeah, turns out he wasn't such a great dude though. Who could've predicted a guy who dresses like THAT would turn out to be the King of Evil? Oh yeah. ME." >The camera zooms out showing Ganondorf laughing maniacally on top of a castle while Zelda is tied up behind him. Lightning flashes. >"Sheesh. Overdramatic much? So anyways. I guess it's my job to fix this. Kill all the monsters, defeat the bad guy, and save the princess. Good thing that's kind of my specialty." >I Need a Hero by Bonnie Tyler starts playing Anonymous 06/16/23(Fri)16:03:16 No.640973617 >>640972302 (OP) Starring Idris Elba as Ganondorf Bryan Cranston as the Great Deku Tree Awkwafina as Navi

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Anon hangs out with other turians | /r/Greentext

File: spiritsApproved.jpg (9 KB, 225x225) /spirits/ -- human slang Anonymous 11/17/2181(Sat)05:53:36 No.719557837 >Be me > Turian >Out with work colleagues >Interracial org, so there are humans there >Doesnt bother me cuz im not a bigot >One of the humans puts their ocular spectacles on me >Everyone starts to laugh >Someone I didnt recognize calls me 'four eyes' >I immediately turn and punch him in the gut >Everyone goes quiet >A friend grabs me and asked why I just punched the "boss's son" ohFuck.png >Didnt even know the boss had a son >I say its cuz he called me 'four eyes', clearly implying I looked like a dirty batarian >Everyone starts to laugh again >They quickly explain that four eyes is an old human nickname for a nerd wearing glasses >Boss's son forgives me for the misunderstanding >Mfw crisis averted Anonymous 11/17/2181(Sat)05:57:36 No.719557949 Completely understandable response to thinking someone called you a batarian slavefucker. You did nothing wrong

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Greentext Stories - Autistic Albanian Anon wants tendie money | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous Please be patient I have autism 23 KB JPG autist 09/21/22(Wed)03:00:28 No.885965533 >Rockstar gets hacked >GTA 6 is leaked >The perpetrator is identified by the BBC as an autist >Who still lives with his mom and dad >Attends a special ed school >He's Albanian >Literally got hacked by a an Albanian Alright, which one of you was it?

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