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Anonymous (ID: 7r405Rfz america edition MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN 06/28/23(Wed)11:35:15 No.432483149 8 KB PNG >wake up sweating grease >heave my 440 lbs body out of bed >ride my mobility scooter to the kitchen >it breaks down 1/2 of the way there (biden's fault) >hobble the rest of the way using twin AR-15s as crutches as the founding fathers intended >BLAM >six year old son shot himself in the leg with the pistol we bought him >shoot him in the head because it's cheaper than healthcare >black neighbor calls the cops on me >head to walmart, tripping over homeless vets and junkies >eggs cost $45 a piece >gummy worms cost $3 >buy gummy worms in bulk >come back home just in time to see my neighbor getting shot by the police he called >crack open a six pack and turn on the TV >half the country's on fire again greatest country in the world, eh?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 403 KB PNG pain in my back. 06/24/24(Mon)20:13:30 No.77940526 >Be me, straight man >Walking through the grocery store. >Notice a cute femboy with perfectly styled hair struggling to reach a can on the top shelf. >Being the helpful person I am, and slightly admiring his choice of a crop top, I offer to help him. >As I hand him the can, I feel a sharp >Collapse to the ground and see stars, my vision swimming. >Through the haze, I make out an elderly Chinese man standing over me. >He's holding a cane in one hand and his service revolver in the other. >Realize the femboy was a ruse to get me vulnerable. >The store's staff suddenly surrounds me, all of them brandishing firearms. >They all turned into chinese mans, closing in and blocking all exits. >The most chinese, clearly the alpha chinese elderly man out of them growls, "Defeat us in MAHJONG or be banished to the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity."

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 6Dtp0Rlh ) ▼Settings Mobile Home AMÉRICANS ARE GOING TO UK OUT (...) 03/04/25(Tue)13:02:25 No.499408510 FT Financial Times ❤ Seguir @FT Record number of Americans apply for UK citizenship Traducir post BRITISH PASSPORT BRITISH PASSPORT DOM OF ft.com Record number of Americans apply for UK citizenship 18:08. 03 mar 25 2M Visualizaciones 1.865 Republicaciones 840 Citas 627 KB JPG IT'S OVER TRUMP RUIN THE COUNTRY Anonymous (ID: noijX0ew) >>499408741 03/04/25(Tue)13:09:05 No.499409216 its just leftists proving they prefer to live around whites

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Anon works for Meta | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: F30t6zkY Meta/Facebook reanimating the (...) 71 KB JPG 02/23/23(Thu)15:36:54 No.417337998 I'm a Meta insider working on Project Lazarus. We're building an Al that can take over a deceased persons social media accounts and continue making relevant posts as if that person is still alive. This includes age progressed photos, interacting with other peoples content and everything else needed so that person continues on in the digital realm after physical death. We were originally told this would be a service offered to people struggling with the loss of loved ones and people who had missing children. Seemed like a decent idea. Things are getting weird now and I'm having second thoughts about what this is actually going to be used for. The Al is extremely capable of impersonating people. It doesn't take as much initial input as one might think to train the Al how a certain person interacts with the digital world. It's very convincing. An entire island of people could go missing and with little to no downtime the Al could take over all of their social media and the world wouldn't have a clue that life wasn't just continuing as usual. A lot of the project is becoming more compartmentalized. Things have taken a dark turn it feels like. They've forbidden communication between people working on different things. Something isn't right and I don't know what I should do. I'm not going to post any personally identifiable information but I will try to answer questions that won't expose my role within the project.

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Maybe if anon washed every day it wouldn't smell like fish in the first place. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri)12:44:03 No.70149196 >bacteria is evolving to resist antibiotics 45 KB PNG >this is in part because we put antibacteria in everything >including soap >we're now being advised to stop using antibacterial products unless we absolutely need to >mfw I still use antibacterial soap because it's the only thing that gets the fish smell out of my c--- : Anonymous 09/09/22 (Fri)14:49:43 No.70150492 >>70149196 (OP) # this is why i only shower every 2 weeks

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anon lives in a simulation | /r/Greentext

default.jpg (28 KB, 336x188) google yandex iqdb wait saucenao ↓ WF? WE ARE IN A SIMULATION Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)19:11:16 No.642274584 ✓ >>642274813 >>642275214 >>642276794 >>642278553 >>642278843 >>642280332 >>642281201 >>642283181 >>642286436 >>642287327 >>642287634 >live in a simulation >spend all our free time invested in lower level game simulations ironic is it not? Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)19:12:42 No.642274693 >>642274921 simulate deez Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)19:14:06 No.642274810 ✓ >>642274921 >>642275286 Literally touch grass counters your stupidity anon, what you experience of this world depends on you, unless circumstances is taking away opportunities from you. Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)19:14:06 No.642274813 ✓ >>642274921 >>642282402 >>642287762 >>642274584 (OP) >yeah "god created" whatever thats cringe bro gods not real there was a big bang or something >ok yeah ANYWAY WE'RE IN A COMPUTER!!! LIKE THE ONE IN MY ROOM! OMG WE'RE IN A COMPUTER TOO ITS A SIMULATION OMG OMG OMG JUST LIKE MY HECCKIN MOVIES AND GAMES!!!!!! >PAPA ELON PROGRAM ME A VAGINA! YAAAS!

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Homecoming | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)17:49:41 No.73830794 [Reply] >mid 20's, home for week >software dev==1 hour of work a day >no friends other than my own brain >drugsAndAlc.java >spend week smackin jackin crackin lackin snackin etc etc etc through the day >throw all produced trash and byproducts in trashcan >binge friday night being a goon till the early hours >saturday morning (3pm) parents are cleaning >still gooned, pretend to sleep >knock knock knock on door >mom comes in w/ trash bag to empty trash >i pretend to sleep >she emptied trash >I crack an eye and witness the avalanche of blunt wraps, tissues, kratom bags, junk food, juul pods, and RC baggies... >they seemed real interested as to when I was leaving when i joined for dinner.... Been doing this since high school honestly, shocked they even let me come home at this point.

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Anon fails gay sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/28/23(Wed)23:09:53 No.73833929 >be me, robot, in this town because work >no friends and incel for way too long >decide that it need to stop ASAP >register in a dating app >get a girl match on me >skinny girl from a few miles away >decent face, no boobs, no ass >spot an adam's apple on the photos >decide to wait if anything better shows up >nothing >pretty sure it's a t----- >desperate need for at least a bit of human touch, sod it >chat a bit, seems nice, some interests in common, she's also very much alone >decide to meet each other >1st date, we go grab something to eat and discuss, alot >hug each other when goodbye time >felt a lot better after that >she contacts me again two days later, cause in the mood to have a nice evening >go to cinema, grab something to eat, discuss, hugs again >feel a lot better each time I see her, I now look like a normal human being >same program for next 2-3 dates >my general behaviour changed so much that normies start enjoying my presence around them >girl calls me because she's feeling super depressed and wants me to go to her place >if anything sexual happens at this point, it would be fair to repay her for all the good she did to me >ready for gay sex, fate accepted >go to her place for the first time, conforts her, chat >she feels better, we decide to watch a movie together >she starts caressing me during the crappy movie, I like it Anonymous 06/28/23 (Wed)23:10:38 No.73833937 >things are getting hotter, I'm feeling a bit unconformable because first gay time ever but still giving the change >at some point she takes my hand and puts it in her pants >ok, I'm gonna touch a t----- penis >start wandering inside her undies with my hand >nothing >just a silk smooth p---- >genuinely surprised and happy, breathe something along "oh yeah" >"do you like it anon ?" >"a lot" I reply >she's getting wet down there >at this point, fear left place to a huge erection on me >get super excited, tell her I want to see her naked >she complies and starts to undress me too >both naked now, damn she's pretty >decide to give her head >she gets 4 orgasms, then asks me to come inside her >finish with the best orgasm ever >both really loved that >we continue dating, I'm starting the gym, she's starts really taking care of herself >she's more beautiful every day All of this happened three years ago, we're talking about mariage and kids now. Pretty sure I'm a f-----, but still, she's the best thing that happened to me, I just regret the s----- start. T----- sex task failed successfully

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Anon Discovers Unemployment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 months till im at $0 No.901707629 >Worked full-time from age 14-23 >No time for friends >No energy for fun >Finally quit a few months 06/28/23(Wed)14:58:40 123 KB JPG ago >Blew through cash quick trying to regain lost time F--- >There is O chance of me going back to work after experiencing not working for a few months >Won't qualify for neetbux

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Anon learns importance of hearing protection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 628 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)05:05:24 No.57565071 >Be me years ago >Shooting new Mosin >Rifle range has an overhead shelter that dramatically amplifies blast concussion >Guy comes over to my bench >Clearly >Thinks my Mosin is the coolest gun ever because "it was actually in the war" >"I bet that thing's loud!" noguns/newguns >Tell him yes, it is loud >"Go ahead and shoot, I've gotta hear how loud it is!" >Has no earpro >Tell him that's a really bad idea >"No no, it's ok" >Realize I'm not going to talk him out of it >Shoot at my target >Overhead shelter applies 3x multiplier to the blast >Guy half-heartedly laughs, is visibly dazed

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Anon dreams of Chad | /r/Greentext

allofthem.png 1.51 MB PNG W-- kind of s--- is this bros? >be me with gf who is way out of my league >she asks to open up our relationship >f---, she probably met some Chad >she goes out last night on a "date" >comes home and asks if I wanna see a photo of who she was with, tells me it was so hot, she wants me to join next time >curiosity gets the best of me, maybe this is a threesome opportunity >pic related... this is so much worse than Chad or even furries. I can't stop thinking about how many giant FUZZY pink PPs were in my gf and the noises they must make like EEEVF EEEVF. and the diseases they must carry. I can't even look at her anymore

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Virgin Seal VS Chad Orca | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/23(Mon) 20:20:18 No.4554775 1678736946137065-1.jpg 26 KB JPG >oh no no w-- seal bros what the f--- is that giant thing it's hunting us jesus christ someone help us What the F--- is wrong with O*ca

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Anon's Intrusive Thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 299 KB PNG 06/15/23(Thu)18:55:25 No.73688384 >be me >playing tf2 >backstab a guy who was about to kill our enemy sniper >teammate thanks me and says "spy you're my hero" >suddenly imagine myself as his femboy wife >force these thoughts out these thoughts will never win. i don't care how lonely i get or how much this degeneracy is supported and accepted, anyone who tries to feminize me will die trying >>73688489 # : Anonymous >>73688384 (OP) # you're a f--. just accept it 06/15/23(Thu)18:59:17 No.73688424 06/15/23(Thu)19:05:40 No.73688489 : Anonymous >>73688424 # >you're a f--. just accept it never. i will gladly live alone and become a 30 year old virgin wizard than crossdress and get topped

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Anon helps develop a core memory | /r/Greentext

16 KB JPG >Be me >At airport >Flying back home from a robotics competition >Get bored so I whip out my laptop to watch hockey >Random group of students comes to the gate >Kid asks me if he can sit next to me >I say sure >He starts watching the game with me and we start talking about hockey for a while >Turns out his dad is the assistant GM of an NHL team >He asks me why I'm traveling and I explain robotics to him >He sees very interested and I'm very happy that he's interested >About to board >He asks me if I want some jellybeans so I gratefully accept >He thanks for me for letting him watch the game with me That encounter made my week after a lot of disappointment. I kinda wonder if that'll be a core memory for him down the line

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Anon visits a fast food restaurant. | /r/Greentext

>be me >goes to fast food restaurant >orders mcdonalds >cashier says "sir this is wendys" >I look up >checks menu >is actually at wendys >mfw >I order wendys anway 62 KB JPG

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Greentext Stories - Anon lives in the US of A | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous (ID: 7r405Rfz america edition MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN 06/28/23(Wed)11:35:15 No.432483149 8 KB PNG >wake up sweating grease >heave my 440 lbs body out of bed >ride my mobility scooter to the kitchen >it breaks down 1/2 of the way there (biden's fault) >hobble the rest of the way using twin AR-15s as crutches as the founding fathers intended >BLAM >six year old son shot himself in the leg with the pistol we bought him >shoot him in the head because it's cheaper than healthcare >black neighbor calls the cops on me >head to walmart, tripping over homeless vets and junkies >eggs cost $45 a piece >gummy worms cost $3 >buy gummy worms in bulk >come back home just in time to see my neighbor getting shot by the police he called >crack open a six pack and turn on the TV >half the country's on fire again greatest country in the world, eh?

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