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Mateus Lima

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Anonymous I panicked just before sex 1.38 MB PNG 07/11/23(Tue)15:39:05 No.29335266 WHAT THE F--- HAPPENED So i got friendly with this hot enby girl at this party and later we went upstairs >her: They (her friends) can be awful. But atleast someone listens to me >me: what else do you want me to do for you? >she pushes me onto bed, lays on top of me, bites my neck, Starts rubbing my penis through pants >she moves on to kissing while unzipping >just as her hand reaches down i panic >push her off, stand up, >'oh man jesus its getting late hehe' >exit room WHY THE F--- AAAAAAAAAHHHH DID I SUBCONSCIOUSLY PANIC BECAUSE I WAS SCARED SHE'LL LAUGH AT MY MICROPENIS??????

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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: Anonymous REPUBLICAN 04/03/25(Thu)17:13:22 No.80863054 MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN ALL LIVES MATTER Z LET'S GO BRANDON #FJB JESUS IS MY SAVIOR TRUMP IS MY PRESIDENT OF LINCOLN THE PARTY OF THE CLAREMONT INSTITUTE TITUL The AIPAC >>80862174 # >>80863004 # BLEXIT COUNCIL.on ROCKEFELLER FOREIGN FREEDOM שאול FOUNDATION RELATIONS FIGHTERS 1720414755817664.png 1.45 MB PNG >inflation in all western G7 nations >"BIDEN DID THIS REEEEEEEE" >trump promises to raise prices across all sectors of the economy to stick it to our allies >"BASED 4D CHESS ZOMG"

: Anonymous 477 KB PNG >however 04/03/25(Thu)21:50:48 No.80861614 >finally find a decent company after all these years >a group of decent coworkers >all the guys are chill, all the girls are sweet >no drama, no b-------, good salary, just really decent people >finally...peace >one small issue >now the bad guy is me

Anonymous 07/30/20(Thu)13:10:55 No.519249338 6473598D-4023-475B-A951-647DE715D643.gif 24 KB GIF >Got my first figure the other day of my waifu >displayed it on my pc desk >mom notices it "oh where did you get this? She's real cute omg" >tell her the video game she's from >mom actually looks up YouTube videos of her >next day "she's a very sweet girl Anon you need to find a girlfriend like her!" Thanks mom. >519249454 # >>519249519 # >>519249757 # >>519250135 # >>519250508 # >519250541 # >>519256940 # >>519257182 # >>519260043 #

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Anon is screwed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 132 KB PNG 1? 07/12/23(Wed)19:45:28 No.29344822 >got a letter in the mail saying that my ex gf is suing me for posting her nudes multiple times on /b/ >they have my IP address along with the dates and times when I posted them Any lawfags here that can give me some advice on what to do here? How f----- am

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Anon actually has a point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/23(Fri)20:32:41 No.640991424 Jake Lucky @JakeSucky 4h Twitch streamer xQc has signed a record breaking $100 million, 2 year non exclusive deal with Kick... Per @Kellen_Browning W-- K 1,921 6,727 Tomorrow will be good 60.2K ₁21.9M Twitter.jpg 347 KB JPG >100m for stealing other people's youtube videos that took them hundreds of hours to make while eat dinner you What the f---? How is this not blackpilling to everyone? How are people okay with thieves like this getting away with it?

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Anon overestimates kids these days | /r/Greentext

07/12/23(Wed)21:23:31 No.74004833 You think about how the new generations of kids are growing up smarter, because of the internet and all the information available. But the president can't be a 20 year old, it has to be a dumb old f------ boomer. It's gonna take 40 years to get a president who isn't dumber than everyone is these days, and then maybe technology will advance and they'll be behind (but still probably far better, more likely that they would be accepting of gay people and not racist etc) 1 Reply : Anonymous 397 KB JPG View Thread 07/12/23(Wed)21:24:49 No.74004848 : Anonymous >>74004833 (OP) # >new generations of kids are growing up smarter lol >because of the internet LOL

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Anon has people scared of him | /r/Greentext

Too intimidating Anonymous 07/13/23(Thu)00:58:49 No.902511024 [Reply]► >>902511447 I'm a pretty introverted guy and I've been told by my family I "look like a thug" "look intimidating" "look like I'd rough someone up". And I feel this may be the reason why the only people I consider to be my friends is my brother and my cousin. As a kid, I was still fairly shy but I always had a group of a couple friends. But by the age of 15/16 I noticed people would cross the street from me. I just thought it was weird and a little bit funny. But now more than ever, since I shaved my head (because of balding) I've heard the "thug" comments. When I'm at the gym, I catch people looking who then immediately look away when I look back. I only have 2 people at my gym who I would consider a friend. When I go gym with my brother, random people will come up to him and strike up a conversation. The same people who look away from me. Is there anything I can do? Do I just try and keep a smile at all times to look less thugish?

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Anon thinks they’re Eren Yeager | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.29 MB PNG >>74001257 # 07/12/23(Wed)15:00:46 No.74001244 : Anonymous >I used the faceapp long hair filter >I look like f------ eren yeager Anonymous >>74001244 (OP) # >I look like f------ eren yeager Whatever you need to tell yourself, I guess H-------- in 12 months when my hair gets long again I will be unstoppable 07/12/23(Wed)15:01:14 No.74001253 07/12/23(Wed)15:01:44 No.74001257 >>74001253 # I really do though and if I posted the picture you would agree Anonymous >>74001244 (OP) # dude, it's a f------ cartoon. you don't look like a cartoon 07/12/23(Wed)15:02:03 No.74001265 : Anonymous 07/12/23(Wed)15:11:56 No.74001390 >H-------- in 12 months when my hair gets long again I will be unstoppable No you won't.

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Anon lacks self-awareness. | /r/Greentext

138 KB PNG >gf goes into therapy for first time in her life >month goes by >texts less and wants to hang out with other people >say whatever idgaf >more months pass >find out shes been spending time with some guy >all her texts are one word responses >break up with her since shes not being honest Guess what I found out 3 years later, from one of her friends? The therapist said she was trapped in something called a narcissistic abuse cycle (???) and she literally followed step-by-step instructions on how to leave a relationship from it. Down to the one-word-replies.

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Anon has never made a girl wet | /r/Greentext

Do girls get wet in school shootings? Do girls get wet in school sho(...) 07/12/23(Wed)04:28:21 No.902465475 Mandatory Preface: am not condoning school shootings. Rather, I am merely inquiring about female biology. 157/20-63 AM We all know that women love 51 KB JPG attractive, dominant men. Within the context of a school shooting, the shooter is unequivocally the most dominant man (that is, the shooter transcends his current status in the dominance hierarchy and temporarily becomes an ultra-Chad). Given the females close proximity to this ultra- Chad during the shooting, one can reasonably conjecture that the females, although scared for their life, experience extreme sexual arousal and attraction towards the shooter, hoping that perhaps rather than shooting them, the shooter has sexual intercourse with them instead. Is my theory correct? Have studies been conducted on this?

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anon is a linkedinlunatic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 Linked out! 8 KB JPG 12/20/22(Tue)20:42:10 No.71483754 > Be me > Had one of my final exams yesterday > Go up to the professor after the test and tank him for the semester > He asks me what my plans are for the next semester > Tell him and he tells me to keep in touch > Ask him if he's on LinkedIn > "No sorry I'm linkedout"

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Well then.. | /r/Greentext

>Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away | /r/Greentext

Crazy apple bitch Anonymous 07/12/23(Wed)12:24:04 No.29339725 ► >>29339732 >be me >meet girl online, hit it off well >swap addresses, tells me to arrive with a bag of apples >oblige >arrive at her place, things get heated quickly, tells me to bring the bag into her room >smash >once I'm done she grabs an apple from the bag and shoves it up her ass >w-- >s---- it back out and tries to make me eat it >immediately grab my s---, lock myself in her bathroom, get dressed, and shove her aside (she still has the damn apple in hand) as I run out the door It's been three days and she has my address and has come by twice already according to my camera while I've been gone at work. What do I do?

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Anon doing what he loved. | /r/Greentext

82 KB JPG >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon predicted the result | /r/Greentext

2.43 MB GIF >go to library to study >qt3.14 college girl sits directly across me despite many other seats >can feel her glances >see her twirling her hair constantly >say nothing, just continue to write javascript >she leaves after a few hours Why do I blow every single opportunity? Oh well, it

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Greentext Stories - Anon panics | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous I panicked just before sex 1.38 MB PNG 07/11/23(Tue)15:39:05 No.29335266 WHAT THE F--- HAPPENED So i got friendly with this hot enby girl at this party and later we went upstairs >her: They (her friends) can be awful. But atleast someone listens to me >me: what else do you want me to do for you? >she pushes me onto bed, lays on top of me, bites my neck, Starts rubbing my penis through pants >she moves on to kissing while unzipping >just as her hand reaches down i panic >push her off, stand up, >'oh man jesus its getting late hehe' >exit room WHY THE F--- AAAAAAAAAHHHH DID I SUBCONSCIOUSLY PANIC BECAUSE I WAS SCARED SHE'LL LAUGH AT MY MICROPENIS??????

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Uploaded Jul 13, 2023 at 04:22AM EDT

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