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: Anonymous Catfished by weeb 47 KB JPG 08/02/23 (Wed)06:51:00 No.903658687 >Be fembot >Agreed to a date with a Redditor I met online >He sends photos and has dadbod which I like >He sends me his REAL photo only when I arrive at the meeting place >jawdrop.jpeg >Dude is insanely obese like he ate 5 people, lied about his height, face full of craters >He takes off his shoes and socks in the car, revealing brown and untrimmed toenails >He randomly claps every 15 minutes or so for no reason >He's a hardcore weeb and talks in anime lingo >He tries to make me sing Japanese songs even though I can't speak or read Japanese >He suggests I try "kēki" from a specific store >Cant believe somebody talks like this >Had to nudge him in counter because I didn't want to pay for his "kēki" >Leave store and noticed he was huffing and puffing from the heat >Went to cheap restaurant >He offers me soup but I'm grossed out by his dirty toenails so I offer him wet wipes instead >He complains about the food not being "daijoubu" >I'm mortified and regret agreeing to this date

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon meets kind stranger | /r/Greentext

434656828 Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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"You are good but not my best" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 08/02/23(Wed)06:22:29 No.29495226 >intimate moment with GF >She says "You are good in this, and i know that well, i have the experience with many other men but you are one of my favorites" >immediately stop, grab my stuff and leave her apartment >she send me an angry audio claiming that she doesn't understand what happened at all >i try to explain it to her and she calls me "insecure" First of all we were having an intimate moment as a couple, do i really have to explain to her that bringing up the fact that she had multiple cocks inside of her is something repellent for any man? Well there may be cucks out there but I'm not into that s---. Not only that, she said i was "one of her favorites". She made me feel cheap, like if she was thinking in another man that she considered a better lover than me while we were f------, that was EXTREMELY insulting and humiliating. It seems that if you are not the first one you end up being just "another one". I feel that way, like she thinks that if i wasn't her first c--- then I'm not going to be her last one neither, the grass will always always be greener elsewhere. It's just that we have been together over 2 and... Nevermind, any advice? This situation is f----- up. I would like to think there is a better solution than simply breaking up but I don't see much other options.

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Okay anon, perhaps try taking it easy on the hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)22:30:10 319 KB PNG No.28529889 >roommate decided he was a woman and started transitioning >started estrogen, grew his hair out, actually looks pretty good now >lately has been having lots of guys over >one day I hear him talking to a someone, go to the living room >roommate is in an orange kimono and seeing out this absolutely massive six foot black guy >black guy leaves, roomie turns around and sees me >gives me this giant grin >I ask him if he prefers black guys and start making fun of him >all of a sudden he's up in my face >tells me i probably have a tiny d--- >i do have a tiny d--- so i get embarssed and insecure >he starts making fun of me >wft i'm so hard right now >tells me to take out my penis and he'll tell me if it's smaller than the guy who just left >I do nothing >he goes to pulls down my pants but i don't stop him for some reason >sees my penis and starts laughing at it, rubbing it >i get red faced >roommate pulls out penis and says "see i'm a woman now and even i have a bigger d--- than you do" >I start tearing up w-- >roommate kisses me on the forehead and rubs my cheeks >"don't worry anon, everyone deserves to be loved >kneels down >sucks me off >i bust the bigggest nut i ever have in my life >he swallows it >smiles at me and goes back to his room >go back to my room and cry this happened like an hour ago and i'm in tears right now w-- didn't i stop him I feel like such a f----- and it's all your fault, I know that bitch browses this board

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Anon work for greedy corporate with average wages below 5 dollars per hour and dont know how minimized his wage for better life circle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking

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Anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ultimate virgin story 39 KB JPG 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying : Anonymous >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520

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Anon enjoys onions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Exact moment you became a robo(...) 42 KB JPG 08/28/17(Mon)14:06:59 No.39366814 >halloween >some guy gives me a caramel apple >bite into it >it's actually a caramel onion >everyone laughing >am 5 >don't get the joke >happily eat my delicious candied onion >laughter turns to confusion >"that's an onion, buddy...." >"I like it!" >adults all visibly disappointed Fate's die was cast, Halloween 1995.

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No Place on Earth is Good | /r/Greentext

BORN TO FEEL 14 KB JPG >be american >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ >be african >be african >be european >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all

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Anon has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)08:12:19 No.19561552 1624082313131.png 449 KB PNG Truth is nobody knows what are they talking about, except a few who wasted years of their lives on topics. Truth in most cases doesnt even matter, humans can survive without it. Everything thats on the internet its just a quick dopamine hit. Nobody cares about anything, plus humans are prone to being wrong. Being a stupid ignorant retard is part of the human condition, and those a little smarter capitalize on it big. Your post doesnt matter, my post doesnt matter, because we both dont know what the f--- are we talking about, we're here to argue calling eachother f------, and get that dopamine hit.

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Anon understand that College is a scam | /r/Greentext

File: 1609519716721.jpg (36 KB, 680x659) >student loan reform in the late 1970s to early 1980s >sudden surge of movies promoting wild college culture to induce FOMO

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And then he woke up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/22 (Fri)11:09:15 No.886912133 >be me >finally got a gf a few months ago >be yesterday >take gf to have dinner at my childhood house >excited for her to meet my parents >friendly greetings ensue 8 KB JPG >I show her around while my parents finish preparing dinner >show her my room >big bins of legos, shelves of built lego sets, and anime figures >"Wow anon, your parents bought you alot of toys when you were little" >remember "be yourself" dating meme >tell her that I actually bought all of them after I moved out >explain that I moved them out of my apartment and stored them here after we started dating >admit I did that because I didn't want her to think I was a man-child >she makes face like pic related >oh f--- f--- f--- >f------ f---, why did I tell her that? I just ruined everything, f--- me >"Anon..." >"Yeah?" >"I think I love you" I've never felt such warmth in my heart, I think I made it, I think she is the one

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Arkham's Most Dangerous Inmate Has Escaped! | /r/Greentext

File: 354E3D07-A35C-40C6-AA98-4(...).jpg (71 KB, 512x384) ☐ "And that's why the Roof Koreans hate Superman! Not as much as me of course" Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)22:51:22 No.138605711 ► >>138605909 >>138606170 >>138606214 >>138606233 >>138606311 >>138606685 >>138606763 >>138606780 >>138606794 >>138606805>>138606832 >>138606949 >>138607388 >>138607389 >>138607439 >>138608569 >>138608627 >>138609507 >>138609533 >>138609679 >>138611188 >>138618124 >>138618801 >>138619294 >>138620436 >>138622034>>138623280 >"Now for some Gotham news, looks like the Fattener busted outta Arkham and on the loose AGAIN. Man is that place a revolving door or what? All you Gotham girls on diets better lock your doors." "Anon, you're on the phone." Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)22:52:43 No.138605740 "Bruce Wayne does not eat out." >>138605950 ☐ Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:04:41 No.138605950 ► >>138616001 File: 20098076-5046-497A-B523-4(...).jpg (60 KB, 600x450) >>138605740 >Pssh, knowing him it's all he does. Mommy and Daddy die young, no birds and the bees talk, baby baby how I make baby? Why do you think a rich d--- like him is still single? Major flopsy! Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:17:44 No.138606233 >>138606564 >>138605711 (OP) Hey, Leslie! Long-time listener, first-time caller. I wanted to know what your stance is on the very serious accusations being thrown around concerning your vagina and Bababooey. Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)23:35:28 No.138606564 ► >>138606694 >>138618154 File: F4214C48-07C0-48C3-A9FF-9(...).jpg (33 KB, 640x480) >>138606233 >Stop it with the aimless rumors. I hate you nutter callers. Oh, Bruce Wayne is Batman! Oh Lex Luthor is my bastard dad! Oh Pierce Brosnan is infamous supervillain The Fattener. Oh I have syphillis. This kind of nonsense ought to be kept off the air! Just for that, I'm putting on nickelback! Anonymous 08/01/23(Tue)00:17:59 No.138607439 ► >>138607638 File: Bierce Prosnan.jpg (61 KB, 720x711) >>138607064 >>138606763 >>138605711 (OP) [Muffled voice] >"Hello Ms. Willis" >"First time caller, long time listener, I've really enjoyed your growth as an entertainer. You've really swelled in popularity since you first debuted" >"I must admit I'm a fan of your well-rounded coverage of the societal issues and opinions currently expanding in our city" >"I hope you enjoyed the chocolate chip muffins I had delivered to your studio this morning" >"Hope to be seeing.... more, of you soon"

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anon is powerful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 155 KB JPG 02/19/18(Mon)05:54:53 No.760416428 >be him >beat a child almost to death >get in prison >women donating 1 million dollar to bail him out of prison >get model job after prison >is marrying billionaire daughter >is cheating on billionaire with ex >billionaire forgives him Look don't matter. If you wanna get somewhere in life you gotta work for it. Right guys? 111 Replies (28 Imagen View Throad

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous Catfished by weeb 47 KB JPG 08/02/23 (Wed)06:51:00 No.903658687 >Be fembot >Agreed to a date with a Redditor I met online >He sends photos and has dadbod which I like >He sends me his REAL photo only when I arrive at the meeting place >jawdrop.jpeg >Dude is insanely obese like he ate 5 people, lied about his height, face full of craters >He takes off his shoes and socks in the car, revealing brown and untrimmed toenails >He randomly claps every 15 minutes or so for no reason >He's a hardcore weeb and talks in anime lingo >He tries to make me sing Japanese songs even though I can't speak or read Japanese >He suggests I try "kēki" from a specific store >Cant believe somebody talks like this >Had to nudge him in counter because I didn't want to pay for his "kēki" >Leave store and noticed he was huffing and puffing from the heat >Went to cheap restaurant >He offers me soup but I'm grossed out by his dirty toenails so I offer him wet wipes instead >He complains about the food not being "daijoubu" >I'm mortified and regret agreeing to this date

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