: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)05:23:47 No.74245692 >be me >somebody tries to convince me I'm autistic at uni >about to awsner that mf >suddenly notices the holes 39 KB JPG in the back of the chairs of the uni aren't multiple of 3 (actually prime number of holes. that pisses me off more) >almost get in panic due the chair design Ok, maybe they aren't wrong at all

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon does a flippin good thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG No.777598427 ITT: Good deeds you've done in your life. >Be me. >Go for a walk because I'm not a shut in virgin. >Walk by trailer park for some human entertainment. >Girl comes running up to me. >Tells me her dog is dying and she needs help. >F----- jumped in the pool and didn't know how to swim. >Luckily I'm an EMT in training. >Grab big ass golden retriever out of pool. >Pretty sure its dead. >Give the dog CPR. >He's not responding but I keep at it. >Girl calls 911. >Turns out they don't send ambulances for dogs. >Just before I'm about to carry it to her car he starts coughing. >Throws up all over me. >Girl comes running over and hugs dog. >His tail starts wagging. >Girl thanks me. >Gives me a hug. >Tells me she'd kiss me if she didn't have a boyfriend. >Respect her relationship and leave with my head held high. I like helping people. It makes me feel good!

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Anon has observation skills | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THEY' >draws >doesn't complain >is entertaining >writes for all demographies >nice shonens >always smile >medals from ministry of culture 23 KB JPG Female mangaka >writes 08/02/23 (Wed)14:00:22 No.255630041 Male mangaka >oh my back hurts oooh >bicycle p--- or 100 dvd p--- >dies from exhaustion (miura) >can't see his son (oda) >never smiles >always miserable despite having 100 assistants working for him >boring shonens >limited demographic

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Anon is dissapointed with his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)18:03:40 No.74247764 Why do normies act like missing developmental milestones isn't a big deal > OH you didn't experience teenage love, no big deal you weren't missing much anyways > Oh you didn't lose your virginity when you're 17, it would've just been awkward if you did > Oh you didn't have a large freind group to hang out and f--- around with, don't worry those friend groups usually have beef and drama > You didn't have the high school/college experience that everyone else so fondly remembers, well who cares I don't remember mine because I was drunk so much My hands look like this So hers can look like this 234 KB JPG > None of the milestones you missed are a big deal because everyone develops at their own rate and everyone's story is different But of course none of its true your weird if you don't have any of above or a myriad of other developmental milestones by the time your in your early 20s

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Catfished by weeb 47 KB JPG 08/02/23 (Wed)06:51:00 No.903658687 >Be fembot >Agreed to a date with a Redditor I met online >He sends photos and has dadbod which I like >He sends me his REAL photo only when I arrive at the meeting place >jawdrop.jpeg >Dude is insanely obese like he ate 5 people, lied about his height, face full of craters >He takes off his shoes and socks in the car, revealing brown and untrimmed toenails >He randomly claps every 15 minutes or so for no reason >He's a hardcore weeb and talks in anime lingo >He tries to make me sing Japanese songs even though I can't speak or read Japanese >He suggests I try "kēki" from a specific store >Cant believe somebody talks like this >Had to nudge him in counter because I didn't want to pay for his "kēki" >Leave store and noticed he was huffing and puffing from the heat >Went to cheap restaurant >He offers me soup but I'm grossed out by his dirty toenails so I offer him wet wipes instead >He complains about the food not being "daijoubu" >I'm mortified and regret agreeing to this date

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Anon meets kind stranger | /r/Greentext

434656828 Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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"You are good but not my best" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 116 KB JPG 08/02/23(Wed)06:22:29 No.29495226 >intimate moment with GF >She says "You are good in this, and i know that well, i have the experience with many other men but you are one of my favorites" >immediately stop, grab my stuff and leave her apartment >she send me an angry audio claiming that she doesn't understand what happened at all >i try to explain it to her and she calls me "insecure" First of all we were having an intimate moment as a couple, do i really have to explain to her that bringing up the fact that she had multiple cocks inside of her is something repellent for any man? Well there may be cucks out there but I'm not into that s---. Not only that, she said i was "one of her favorites". She made me feel cheap, like if she was thinking in another man that she considered a better lover than me while we were f------, that was EXTREMELY insulting and humiliating. It seems that if you are not the first one you end up being just "another one". I feel that way, like she thinks that if i wasn't her first c--- then I'm not going to be her last one neither, the grass will always always be greener elsewhere. It's just that we have been together over 2 and... Nevermind, any advice? This situation is f----- up. I would like to think there is a better solution than simply breaking up but I don't see much other options.

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Okay anon, perhaps try taking it easy on the hentai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)22:30:10 319 KB PNG No.28529889 >roommate decided he was a woman and started transitioning >started estrogen, grew his hair out, actually looks pretty good now >lately has been having lots of guys over >one day I hear him talking to a someone, go to the living room >roommate is in an orange kimono and seeing out this absolutely massive six foot black guy >black guy leaves, roomie turns around and sees me >gives me this giant grin >I ask him if he prefers black guys and start making fun of him >all of a sudden he's up in my face >tells me i probably have a tiny d--- >i do have a tiny d--- so i get embarssed and insecure >he starts making fun of me >wft i'm so hard right now >tells me to take out my penis and he'll tell me if it's smaller than the guy who just left >I do nothing >he goes to pulls down my pants but i don't stop him for some reason >sees my penis and starts laughing at it, rubbing it >i get red faced >roommate pulls out penis and says "see i'm a woman now and even i have a bigger d--- than you do" >I start tearing up w-- >roommate kisses me on the forehead and rubs my cheeks >"don't worry anon, everyone deserves to be loved >kneels down >sucks me off >i bust the bigggest nut i ever have in my life >he swallows it >smiles at me and goes back to his room >go back to my room and cry this happened like an hour ago and i'm in tears right now w-- didn't i stop him I feel like such a f----- and it's all your fault, I know that bitch browses this board

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Anon work for greedy corporate with average wages below 5 dollars per hour and dont know how minimized his wage for better life circle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking

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Anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ultimate virgin story 39 KB JPG 01/14/19(Mon)17:22:23 No.50422139 >Family is hiding the milk away from me because im a bit overweight >start crying : Anonymous >>50422139 (OP) # >milk How much milk are you drinking fatty 01/14/19(Mon)17:53:29 No.50422520

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Anon enjoys onions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Exact moment you became a robo(...) 42 KB JPG 08/28/17(Mon)14:06:59 No.39366814 >halloween >some guy gives me a caramel apple >bite into it >it's actually a caramel onion >everyone laughing >am 5 >don't get the joke >happily eat my delicious candied onion >laughter turns to confusion >"that's an onion, buddy...." >"I like it!" >adults all visibly disappointed Fate's die was cast, Halloween 1995.

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No Place on Earth is Good | /r/Greentext

BORN TO FEEL 14 KB JPG >be american >get fat, get shot, become poor because surgery is 100 000$ >be african >be african >be european >get beheaded by isis >be asian >suicide because of stress and no gf >be australian >get killed by venomous animal and lose war against emu I guess no place on earth is good after all

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Anon has a point. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)08:12:19 No.19561552 1624082313131.png 449 KB PNG Truth is nobody knows what are they talking about, except a few who wasted years of their lives on topics. Truth in most cases doesnt even matter, humans can survive without it. Everything thats on the internet its just a quick dopamine hit. Nobody cares about anything, plus humans are prone to being wrong. Being a stupid ignorant retard is part of the human condition, and those a little smarter capitalize on it big. Your post doesnt matter, my post doesnt matter, because we both dont know what the f--- are we talking about, we're here to argue calling eachother f------, and get that dopamine hit.

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Greentext Stories - Anon Has The 'Tism | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 08/02/23(Wed)05:23:47 No.74245692 >be me >somebody tries to convince me I'm autistic at uni >about to awsner that mf >suddenly notices the holes 39 KB JPG in the back of the chairs of the uni aren't multiple of 3 (actually prime number of holes. that pisses me off more) >almost get in panic due the chair design Ok, maybe they aren't wrong at all

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