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Anonymous baby pepe 79 KB PNG comfy saturday thread. i'll start >be me >mom is going out of town for weekend >i get off work at 4 yesterday >mom texts me >"hey anon! i went shopping for you. There's a $20 on the table and I also got pop tarts and chocolate milk for you. I'll be home sunday night. I love you sweetie." >i come home and sleep all night >wake up, 6:37 >chocolate chip pop tarts in cabinet >single gallon of chocolate milk No.807925714 >microwave pop tarts >pour choccy milk >poptarts are warm >milk is sweet >watch the sunrise w/ chocolatey breakfast in hand >play vidya the rest of the day >wake up today >repeat how's your weekend going anon? t-thank you mom. i love you

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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anon meets his nemesis in a long flight. | /r/Greentext

07/30/23(Sun)05:36:10 No.2515332 : Anonymous >have the window seat on 13 hour flight >middle aged mainland chinese dude sits in the middle seat. >he keeps on reaching past me and fiddling with the window, taking pictures, opening and closing it >lights off, time to sleep. >he keeps leaning and spreading over into my seat. >fortunately i am a master negotiator. >i ask him in chinese if he wants to trade seats since he likes the window so much. >trade success,my woes are over. >just kidding >dude still keeps stretching into my seat, literally every time he sleeps although he could lean on the window side. >snores like a wood chipper >literally have to shove his arms back into his seat so i don't get molested >time to write customs forms >hah get f----- >filipino lady in the aisle seat is literally the friendliest lady ever, offers him a pen, and then asks me to help him translate since he literally can't read the customs form >f--- i can't pretend i don't know chinese >end up having to help the guy through his forms and repeat everything multiple times >ok, it can't get worse right >guy starts acting overly familiar because he thinks i'm chinese. i'm not... >he starts coughing, coughs in my direction, doesn't even cover his mouth, burps in my direction, probably even farts in my direction. >near the end of the flight he pulls out his shaving kit and literally starts shaving right there, getting stubble everywhere >opens the window one last time. f--- the poors i'm getting business class next time on long flights

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Mischievous dog tries to scare owner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 325 KB PNG 05/11/22(Wed)03:27:08 No.66716507 >>66716346 # >I wanted to turn my life around after peaking my weight at 180kg >went to the local gym paid for the special weight lose program >around 520$ per month for 3- months >got told to go to the aerobics class >went there and a trainer came in and started telling us what to do as warm ups >walking, stretching and such >being a fat f--- I couldn't even last 3min before sitting a side fighting for air >they start knee raising >gymbro was watching from the side >he came to me and asked when did I join >told him that i just did >told me to pick my things up and follow him >told me that i wouldn't last and would drop out soon or injure myself trying >told me that I should start by just walking outside, no need for a gym now bc any activity would give me results at my weight >went down to the manger's office and took my card >he went in for a while and came back with cash >signed some papers >went outside the gym and gave me his phone number >told me to lose as much weight i can by walking and doing basic workouts >and whenever i feel that i can join back he'll give me a discount >deal It was weird but thanks to him I saved lots of money >>66716649 # >>66718231 #

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Anon admits he was wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 231 KB PNG 03/15/20(Sun)13:16:03 No.57171994 >go on reddit >make comment about something I think I'm right about >get proven wrong >admit that I was wrong and thank person who provided a source >get downvoted anyway >this f------ site

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Anon has seen too much porn........ | /r/Greentext

>coworker asked me to look at her internet after work >go to her room, fix internet, notice panties on floor >the urge arises.png >ask to use her bathroom, "stomach isnt feeling good" >turn on fan to silence noise, fap > walk out of bathroom, shes sitting at laptop >anon, did you just masturbate in my bathroom >p---- scenes flash in my mind >this is my chance >"yes" >get kicked out

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Anon had a happy day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 540 KB JPG 08/04/23(Fri)09:06:11 No.74267147 >I am clean >I am warm >I am fed >I am comfy in my bed >I am happy from talking to people on 4chan >>74267174 # >my body doesn't feel restless cus I worked out today >I am gonna sleep in until noon tomorrow I have it so good right now. Any of you feeling special and happy today? : Anonymous I hope you mom is r---- to death by pigeons 08/04/23(Fri)09:08:57 No.74267160

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Anon thinks about cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 763 A Esca 513 KB PNG 08/04/23(Fri)12:23:18 No.74268220 >be me >talking to this 10/10 girl I met on tinder >sporty tomboy type >good sense of humour, likes shitposting >she plays games and not normie at ones either >big film nerd talks about obscure foreign films from the 60s >swears in Russian >compatible fetishes >dommy vibes >genuinely loves me for who I am >literally a perfect match >we talk for a few weeks and I genuinely have a shot, she likes me back >then while we're talking she mentions she's a picky eater, okay not a big deal so am I >she hates cheese >all types of cheese >not even cool with it melted or as part of a dish >she refuses to eat any food with cheese in it period >she orders pizza without cheese on it >SHE ORDERS PIZZA WITHOUT CHEESE ON IT I'm a autistic for caring this much about this?, it's literally her only flaw. But like it's f------ cheese. She's 22 I don't think she'll grow out of this

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Anon talks on the Internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous blackpiller bros? 251 KB JPG 08/04/23(Fri)07:59:15 No.74266696 >be me >5'7 >get approached by blonde stacy that asks for my instagram >tell her i don't use the app and to leave me alone >she leaves i thought they go for chad only. : Anonymous >>74266696 (OP) # The thing I love about the Internet is you can just say anything For instance Zendaya came and sucked my balls 08/04/23(Fri)08:01:56 No.74266712

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Anon finds about lizzo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/23(Fri)07:39:35 No.74266564 7 KB PNG >be me >see some s--- about some scandal about Lizzo >no idea who that is, look her up and she's some hambeast nigress who is a walking billboard for farming culture war s--- >is some advocate for fatties who apparently hired backup dancers, etc and put s--- on them for not being size O's >basically gaslighting people when they gain weight while living off bacon cheeseburger-stuffed oreos from Walmart herself, while doing articles for gay Huff Post articles about "fat shaming" >apparently doesn't believe a word of the s--- she apparently advocates for >mfw foids and roasties who have been eating her goyslop for years are on suicide watch i hate celeb drama usually but i love it when normoids suffer because their idols who contribute to the decline of western civilization lose goodboy Twitter points over some scandal or another and they feel bad about the parasocial relationships they have with these absolute puppets

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Anon is chinese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 KB JPG 2 Replies 08/03/23(Thu)17:33:25 No.74259272 >be chinese >be rapper >ching chang ring rong bing bong ding dong ming meng zhing zhong zhao ping peng lao wang wong sheng xing hao : Anonymous Based MC Ching Chang View Thread 08/03/23(Thu)17:36:27 No.74259297

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Meanwhile... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous O 132 KB PNG Anonymous Ex 12/12/19(Thu)13:40:37 No.115286066 >>115286076 # >>115286090 # >>115286530 # 64 KB JPG >>115286013 # 12/12/19(Thu)13:41:11 No.115286076 >>115286066 # >>115286090 # >>115286105 # >>115286530 #

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So this is why Silent Hills was cancelled | /r/Greentext

Welcome to Silent Hill 1535937820714.jpg 114 KB JPG >T, you seein what I'm seein? >Yeah, f------ triangle f------ a pair o' legs. >Nah, that ain't a triangle. It's a trapezoid. >What the f--- did you call me? >Tony, no disrespect intended. But it ain't two dimensional, it got length width and depth. So, it's a trapezoid. >Are you f------ serious? This guy. >Whoa whoa whoa, that's some piece he got on him. That's bigger than Blundetto's cabasa, you know what I'm sayin'

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Online screening | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 10/10/21(Sun)05:46:19 No.864738646 >be me >meet cutie soft dom goth girl on dating app >hit it off pretty well >get to know each other online >we are really into one another so we plan on going on a date sometime >one night she asks to chat a bit before she goes to bed >I didn't voice chat with her that day, so why not! >get in call ready to chill with her for a bit >find out she is horny and wanted hear me while she did her thing >kindahot.mkv >get into with her, moaning along and such >end up getting horny as well so I start jacking off too >full on sex erp >we both get real close and I hear >"c-- for me anon, you cute baby boy" >bust a nut so hard I almost when f------ blind >get called cute and tells me how she really liked that >"Hey anon, wanna see something..." >ohfuck.webm >Think she is going to send a nude or something >She screen shares a whole ass power point presentation titled: "Hello future potential boyfriend" that she made earlier that day >mfw We are all going to make it bros!

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Greentext Stories - anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous baby pepe 79 KB PNG comfy saturday thread. i'll start >be me >mom is going out of town for weekend >i get off work at 4 yesterday >mom texts me >"hey anon! i went shopping for you. There's a $20 on the table and I also got pop tarts and chocolate milk for you. I'll be home sunday night. I love you sweetie." >i come home and sleep all night >wake up, 6:37 >chocolate chip pop tarts in cabinet >single gallon of chocolate milk No.807925714 >microwave pop tarts >pour choccy milk >poptarts are warm >milk is sweet >watch the sunrise w/ chocolatey breakfast in hand >play vidya the rest of the day >wake up today >repeat how's your weekend going anon? t-thank you mom. i love you

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