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Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)15:10:18 No.706387552 resetera P EMULATORS DENUKO GAMES LAVE INDI to Ta 1741539654823.jpg 61 KB JPG Why are zoomers so anti-piracy? When I was growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, everyone pirated PC games. And it wasn't just games either. Even the most computer illiterate normies were pirating music and movies every day. Piracy was just an accepted normal fact of life. How did society become so cucked that everyone is afraid to pirate anything now and they'll willingly pay money for a copy of something that they can literally download for free?

Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)10:08:44 No.209658773 1721870248383393.jpg 235 KB JPG >elves are jealous of humans because they aren't immortal and can die because... BECAUSE THEY JUST DO OKAY Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)10:10:08 No.209658794 >>209658773 (OP) # Read the Silmarillion before posting these embarrassing shitposts Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)10:10:57 No.209658806 you'd be tired of life too if you witnessed the decline of west-i mean elf civilization first hand

Anonymous 12/21/24(Sat) 11:46:42 No.697975374 r/Doom 1734802978.png 86 KB PNG I wonder what was this classic boomer game from 1992 was about Anonymous 12/21/24(Sat)11:48:31 No.697975516 What's the problem here? All I see in the banner is Hell. >>697975578 # >>697976142 # >>697976512 # >>697979048 # >>697979337 # >>697979481 # >>697979976 # >>697980085 # >>697983864 # >>697984057 # >>697984243 # >>697986697 # >>697988514 # >>697989450 # >>697990052 # >>697990094 #

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dokRCjAB 35 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)12:55:01 No.55835042 >at work >go take a piss >forgot for a second that I'm not work from home anymore >walk over to the sink >pull my c--- out >pull back my foreskin and wash my glans >secretary girl was looking for me and walks in on me washing my d--- >awkward and shes like "sorry" and scuttles away >come back to my desk >the girls are giggling >try explaining that washing the penis is very important and that there is nothing funny about this >they are like "what?" (turns out they laughed about something else and had no clue what I said) >got a mail from HR they want to talk about something >the secretary girl is avoiding eye contact with me now will I be fired or do you think there is a chance I can keep the job?

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Anon doesn't like Vegans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)17:24:21 No.74384806 >deer gets torn to shreds and eaten alive by wolves >fine >guy shoots deer in head, instantly killing it, then having a nice dinner >bad why do vegans believe this 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon beat the system | /r/Greentext

8 KB PNG >be me 2 years ago, 25 >Got job at a contract service company >Moderate load, great pay >Boss say no working on weekends >Weekends are special day he says >Got tons of work friday >Decide to work on weekend >Submit on monday >Boss compliments me for good work >Life good, feels good man >Pile up work then work on weekends >Did this for 2 years >Got promoted to project manager >Earn 6 digits every month >Old workers still stuck in low position by not working on weekends How the hell no one exploited this, did I beat the system?

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What a Chad............ | /r/Greentext

>be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss 9 KB PNG >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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Anons loud doggo | /r/Greentext

08/04/19(Sun)19:01:34 No.806284614 BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK : Anonymous 68 KB JPG : Anonymous >>806284614 (OP) # SHUT THE F--- UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP 08/04/19(Sun)19:05:55 No.806284768 >>806284792 #

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https://old.reddit.com/user/Isabelle_JQ/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 510 KB PNG 12/29/22(Thu)13:02:55 No.891608158 >smoking a joint with gf >she randomly brings up how she hooked up with some dude with a massive c--- >kept explaining how big it was >saw how extremely uncomfortable I was and started to apologize >can't get the vision out of my head of her taking some massive d--- >now I can't stop thinking about the 8 other dudes that's been inside her >I'm starting to feel physically repulsed and it gives me extreme anxiety just thinking about it Body count never mattered to me until now what do I do bros

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The tale of anons titty | /r/Greentext

>wake up >notice my right man boob popped out of shirt >j------- to it glistening in the morning light 51 KB JPG >c-- >fall back asleep >brother who lives in same room jacks off to my t---- as well >we both are asleep

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/out/tist is awestruck by the beauty of our universe | /r/Greentext

Board /out/ - Outdoors : Anonymous Take the Milky-pill Settings Mobile Home 08/04/23(Fri)11:16:06 No.2625816 MilkyWay.jpg 1.91 MB JPG > Be me > Lived in the suburbs my entire life > Become more infatuated with nature after becoming a beekeeper > Can't see the Milky Way, or really many stars for that matter, because of light pollution > Go to middle of nowhere Sonoran Desert in Arizona for vacation > First night. See moon > Brightest I've ever seen the moon (presumably because light pollution snuffs out the light of the moon where I live) > Sad cause bright moon won't let me see the Milky Way, but the moon is very neat nonetheless > Second to last day > Moon has yet to rise > Go outside and see an abundance of stars > Look closer > See feint strip of the Milky Way > It's the most beautiful night sky I've ever seen > Be in awe at the absolute beauty of the night sky God has painted above us I gotta move away from any presence of the city and get some land in the middle of nowhere. How can some people go their entire lives not seeing the beauty that God has placed above our heads EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? Suburb-bros and city-bros, take the Milky-pill.

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Anon chooses violence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/23(Sat)11:24:02 No.26909185 IMG_1668.jpg 74 KB JPG >"sorry champ, test drives are only available if you put down a 1000$ non-refundable deposit first" how do you respond? 08/12/23(Sat)11:25:50 No.26909189 : Anonymous >>26909185 (OP) # >Buy the car >Crash it into the showroom

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Anon Saying Goodbyes | /r/Greentext

No. 904141510 08/11/23 (Fri)10:29:17 download.png 8 KB 271x186 The letter is written and the pills are ready. It was a good run, I am going into the eternal slumber. May your lives have everything good that I won't experience. 17 replies, 2 images

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Anon wishes he was born as a different sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 40543791 193.2 kB JPG 16 min. ago... >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY

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Anon is a nob | /r/Greentext

>be me >try masturbating for the first time >c------.jpg >feel incredible pain in the d--- afterwards >wait for the pain to go away >10 minutes later, it still hurts a lot >try taking a piss, feels as if my d--- was being stabbed >spend 20 mins on the toilet, because I can't get anything out due to d--- pain Why tf do people do people masturbate several times a day or at all if this is the s--- that has to be dealt with afterwards?

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Greentext Stories - Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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