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Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (990px x 1620px)

File size: 159 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dokRCjAB 35 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)12:55:01 No.55835042 >at work >go take a piss >forgot for a second that I'm not work from home anymore >walk over to the sink >pull my c--- out >pull back my foreskin and wash my glans >secretary girl was looking for me and walks in on me washing my d--- >awkward and shes like "sorry" and scuttles away >come back to my desk >the girls are giggling >try explaining that washing the penis is very important and that there is nothing funny about this >they are like "what?" (turns out they laughed about something else and had no clue what I said) >got a mail from HR they want to talk about something >the secretary girl is avoiding eye contact with me now will I be fired or do you think there is a chance I can keep the job?

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Anon doesn't like Vegans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)17:24:21 No.74384806 >deer gets torn to shreds and eaten alive by wolves >fine >guy shoots deer in head, instantly killing it, then having a nice dinner >bad why do vegans believe this 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon beat the system | /r/Greentext

8 KB PNG >be me 2 years ago, 25 >Got job at a contract service company >Moderate load, great pay >Boss say no working on weekends >Weekends are special day he says >Got tons of work friday >Decide to work on weekend >Submit on monday >Boss compliments me for good work >Life good, feels good man >Pile up work then work on weekends >Did this for 2 years >Got promoted to project manager >Earn 6 digits every month >Old workers still stuck in low position by not working on weekends How the hell no one exploited this, did I beat the system?

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What a Chad............ | /r/Greentext

>be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss 9 KB PNG >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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Anons loud doggo | /r/Greentext

08/04/19(Sun)19:01:34 No.806284614 BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK : Anonymous 68 KB JPG : Anonymous >>806284614 (OP) # SHUT THE F--- UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP 08/04/19(Sun)19:05:55 No.806284768 >>806284792 #

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https://old.reddit.com/user/Isabelle_JQ/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 510 KB PNG 12/29/22(Thu)13:02:55 No.891608158 >smoking a joint with gf >she randomly brings up how she hooked up with some dude with a massive c--- >kept explaining how big it was >saw how extremely uncomfortable I was and started to apologize >can't get the vision out of my head of her taking some massive d--- >now I can't stop thinking about the 8 other dudes that's been inside her >I'm starting to feel physically repulsed and it gives me extreme anxiety just thinking about it Body count never mattered to me until now what do I do bros

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The tale of anons titty | /r/Greentext

>wake up >notice my right man boob popped out of shirt >j------- to it glistening in the morning light 51 KB JPG >c-- >fall back asleep >brother who lives in same room jacks off to my t---- as well >we both are asleep

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/out/tist is awestruck by the beauty of our universe | /r/Greentext

Board /out/ - Outdoors : Anonymous Take the Milky-pill Settings Mobile Home 08/04/23(Fri)11:16:06 No.2625816 MilkyWay.jpg 1.91 MB JPG > Be me > Lived in the suburbs my entire life > Become more infatuated with nature after becoming a beekeeper > Can't see the Milky Way, or really many stars for that matter, because of light pollution > Go to middle of nowhere Sonoran Desert in Arizona for vacation > First night. See moon > Brightest I've ever seen the moon (presumably because light pollution snuffs out the light of the moon where I live) > Sad cause bright moon won't let me see the Milky Way, but the moon is very neat nonetheless > Second to last day > Moon has yet to rise > Go outside and see an abundance of stars > Look closer > See feint strip of the Milky Way > It's the most beautiful night sky I've ever seen > Be in awe at the absolute beauty of the night sky God has painted above us I gotta move away from any presence of the city and get some land in the middle of nowhere. How can some people go their entire lives not seeing the beauty that God has placed above our heads EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? Suburb-bros and city-bros, take the Milky-pill.

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Anon chooses violence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/23(Sat)11:24:02 No.26909185 IMG_1668.jpg 74 KB JPG >"sorry champ, test drives are only available if you put down a 1000$ non-refundable deposit first" how do you respond? 08/12/23(Sat)11:25:50 No.26909189 : Anonymous >>26909185 (OP) # >Buy the car >Crash it into the showroom

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Anon Saying Goodbyes | /r/Greentext

No. 904141510 08/11/23 (Fri)10:29:17 download.png 8 KB 271x186 The letter is written and the pills are ready. It was a good run, I am going into the eternal slumber. May your lives have everything good that I won't experience. 17 replies, 2 images

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Anon wishes he was born as a different sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 40543791 193.2 kB JPG 16 min. ago... >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY

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Anon is a nob | /r/Greentext

>be me >try masturbating for the first time >c------.jpg >feel incredible pain in the d--- afterwards >wait for the pain to go away >10 minutes later, it still hurts a lot >try taking a piss, feels as if my d--- was being stabbed >spend 20 mins on the toilet, because I can't get anything out due to d--- pain Why tf do people do people masturbate several times a day or at all if this is the s--- that has to be dealt with afterwards?

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Greentext Stories - Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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