: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 08/21/23 (Mon)09:53:08 No.74460448 >be me, 18M virgin >i get a text from an unknown person >"hey anon, im curious about the size of your d---, ive heard rumours its 17 cm, is this correct?" >its correct >i respond with "uhm yeah it is" and "who are you tho?" >person says it does not matter rn who they are >then asks "can i measure it" >i ask "why?" and "what is in it for me?" >responds with "for myself" and "sex" >also asks whether im still a virgin >i dont answer >i ask what their gender and age >turns out to be a trans male yet to have his surgery for a d--- and 16yo >also sends me a picture to prove hes not some 50 year old p--- >i ask where he got intel about the length of my d--- and my phone number >he refuses to say it >i ask why its a problem to tell me >he blocks me >mfw

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Anonymous 03/01/25(Sat)04:17:09 No.704221836 250px-Walter.jpg 10 KB JPG >Al evolving rapidly to the point it can almost impersonate people and compose entire songs >video game enemy Al has not progressed AT ALL since F.E.A.R and you could argue it has only regressed Why the f--- is this?

Anonymous >2005 07/11/22(Mon)20:52:44 No.69371086 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 23 KB PNG >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)18:14:33 No.184255728 Translate a joke from your country 12 KB JPG Anonymous | 07/06/23(Thu)19:05:43 No.184257583 Two hunters meet. Both are dead. >>184257927 # >>184258192 # >>184258442 # Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:14:41 No.184257927 >>184257583 # >behold the peak of german comedy >>184258089 #

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Anon called the police | /r/Greentext

No. 904696792 08/20/23(Sun)21:09:36 criminal.jpg 14 KB 276x183 I did it, /b/. I finally f------ did it. Weeks, no, MONTHS, of enduring my apartment neighbor, a literal drug addict and criminal, and his near-constant stench of weed, and I've been driven to the edge. I called the police on him, as weed is still completely illegal in my state, and anonymously emailed my landlord too, as the apartment complex strictly forbids illegal drug use or smoking inside the units. Call me a f-----, call me a monster, call me a "narc" until you are blue in the face and your lungs ache from the damage marijuana consumption has done to your breathing; this Man has had enough. I will update you when the authorities arrive to take the criminal into custody. 15 replies, 2 images

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Anon orders pizza for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/04/18(Sat) 22:37:56 No.47283647 >be me 5 minutes ago >ordering pizza for the first time ever >ask for a pizza, some fries and a can of cola >pizza lady replies "we don't have cola, is pepsi ok?" >i freeze up 75 KB JPG >brain trying to process what she said, this isn't how this interaction played out in my head >mutter out "...taxi?" >after a silence she finally responds "sorry sir could you repeat that for me?" >brain finally catches up >"oh yes, a pepsi is fine please..." im never ordering food again i'll stick to microwaved dinners

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Anon goes on 4chan for the first time........ | /r/Greentext

>be me >see 4chan greentexts on the Internet >decide my autism would fit in perfectly on this Website >one day decide to go 4chan >its all p--- >all of it 19 KB JPG >its all p--- >80% trap p--- >wait for the sweet release that is death

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anon wants to go to nuuk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i want to go to nuuk 72 KB JPG 04/08/22(Fri) 20:18:19 No.68127114 >bored >looking at countries on google maps >start looking for most remote areas >come across nuuk, a city in greenland, though it looks more like a small town >looks beautiful >come across a subreddit dedicated to it with less than 200 users >look at the photos people posted, they look so comfy and friendly >can imagine myself living there in a small house, making friends, enjoying the snow >no war, no politics, just a small town away from everyone else >fall in love with this town knowing damn well i'll never step foot in it pic related, its nuuk

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Anon still thinks about it to this day | /r/Greentext

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Anon is not enlightened | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 08/18/23(Fri)01:51:13 No.35630012 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people?

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Anon gets tricked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 41 KB JPG 05/10/18(Thu)11:53:32 No.45281609 >Be me > 19 years old virgin >Watch milf p--- all the time and fap >Make a new friend in class >Go to his home >No father, single sexy mother >RemenberPorn.jpeg >Plan to f--- her >Go to his house when he is out >Start flirting with his mother >Say I want to have sex with you >She slaps me >Dont trust p---, they f--- you up Anonymous >>45281609 (OP) # Idiot, it doesn't work if you don't go IN CHARACTER Next time show up as a Plumber or something 05/10/18(Thu)11:55:54 No.45281651

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Anon needs a new gas source | /r/Greentext

Anonymous C-- CAR EN 2... 08/20/23(Sun)21:27:41 No.904702292 C-- YOU'LL NEVER BE A REAL CAR. PISS CAR IMG_5972.jpg 43 KB JPG M PO PISS STATION CLOSED DUE TO PISA OUTINGE Four > decided to start finding better ways to fuel my car > my first thought was fuel additives > those don't seem to do s--- > Found this image on twitter months ago > thought of it as a meme at first but it may help me > decide to start collecting c-- in a jug and pissing in a jug too > every once and a while I'll piss in my gas tank on long road trips > haven't seen problems yet, I'll start mixing my c-- and piss with gasoline tomorrow to see if it'll help me save money on gas, wish me luck /b/tards

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Anon discovers ass wiping | /r/Greentext

565 KB PNG >be me >Ass itches really bad >Get out of university class >Decide to take a shower >Get out, ass itches bad >Have wild idea, decide to take some of the toilet rags and rub my ass crack with them >I call it wipemaxxing, it gets all the loose s--- particles out of my crack and stops the itching When did you bros discover wipemaxxing? 08/20/23(Sun)21:21:27 No.904702025 : Anonymous >>904702006 (OP) # >4channer doesn't know he's supposed to wipe his ass all the way until university kek

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Anon isn't "Radical" | /r/Greentext

No. 904698931 08/20/23(Sun)22:02:47 1692154054323555.png 365 KB 1148x2184 >Be me >23 >Not interested in radical politics >Just browse videogame places >"IS THIS GAME FAR RIGHT?" >"IS THIS GAME FAR LEFT?" >Search for movies >"IS THIS ACTOR FAR RIGHT?" >"IS THIS DIRECTOR FAR LEFT?" >Search for literature >The same >Search for music >The same Is there a way to actually enjoy something without getting drowned in stupid radical ideas? It sems the world just wants me to be a nazi or a t-----. 4 replies, 0 images

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Dad kicks OP because they were watching Franklin | /r/Greentext

Shows With Bad Memories Anonymous 08/20/23(Sun)20:12:14 No.1 Does anybody else have bad experiences with certain shows? >be me, maybe six or so >undiagnosed dyslexia so got bad marks in school >Dad comes home and sees my progress report >I'm sitting in the floor watching Franklin >Dad comes into the room screaming at me and calls me retarded >mom ignores and keeps cooking >Dad says I like watching turtles because I'm slow >Be scared >Dad starts kicking me while Franklin is being all happy in the TV >After a few minutes he stops and leaves the room >Lay in the floor in fear and watch Franklin out of the corner of my eye until dinner

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Anon plays Frogger | /r/Greentext

38KiB, 768x768, frogger.jpg View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace cursed video game experiences? Anonymous Tue 02 May 2023 18:03:40 No.34690247 >be me, browsing through an old video game store, looking for some retro games to add to my collection >find an old snes cartridge of frogger, the classic arcade game >buy it, take it home, and plug it into my console, but when i turn it on, something feels off >instead of the familiar music, i hear a faint whispering voice >can't make out what it's saying >start playing the game, but it's not like any frogger i've ever played before >the graphics are glitchy, the controls are unresponsive, and the difficulty is insane >can't even get past the first level without dying >every time i die, the whispering gets louder and clearer >it's not just one vice, it's multiple voices all speaking in unison >"the frog must suffer" >"the frog must atone for its sins" >turn the game off and go for a walk to clear my head >can't stop thinking about what happened, the voices appear in my dreams that night >next week comes and i'm haunted in all my waking hours >try to get rid of the cartridge, but it's like fused to my console >can't remove it, so i just destroy my snes Froggerbros? What the f--- happened?

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets a text about his dick | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 08/21/23 (Mon)09:53:08 No.74460448 >be me, 18M virgin >i get a text from an unknown person >"hey anon, im curious about the size of your d---, ive heard rumours its 17 cm, is this correct?" >its correct >i respond with "uhm yeah it is" and "who are you tho?" >person says it does not matter rn who they are >then asks "can i measure it" >i ask "why?" and "what is in it for me?" >responds with "for myself" and "sex" >also asks whether im still a virgin >i dont answer >i ask what their gender and age >turns out to be a trans male yet to have his surgery for a d--- and 16yo >also sends me a picture to prove hes not some 50 year old p--- >i ask where he got intel about the length of my d--- and my phone number >he refuses to say it >i ask why its a problem to tell me >he blocks me >mfw

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