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: Anonymous Take the cat pill anons 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)11:52:19 No.904967591 >be me >depressed, loner, NEET, live at my parents house >one day we get a cat, whatever >cat hates me for whatever reason >is always super cuddly with parents but constantly barfs near me or on my things >never lets me pet him or play with him >also meows really aggressively around me for no reason >try playing with him, he isn't interested and keeps meowing >try feeding him, he keeps meowing >literally just always meowing as loud as he can around me, it's annoying as hell >trying to play clone hero while parents are gone and cat is meowing like always >starts walking all over my desk, I've had it with this f----- >just start meowing back at him, louder than him, it scares him off and he goes hiding somewhere >parents get home and look for him, can't find him anywhere, ask if I let him out >we tear the house apart trying to find him, look everywhere, we came to the conclusion that he must've got out somehow and that was that >ffw tomorrow night, cat comes out of nowhere from upstairs and rubs all over my legs as I'm standing in the kitchen. >whereTFwereyoulittleshit.jpeg >cat is suddenly very friendly with me and always wants to be near me >I start warming up to him as well, it's nice having a cat on your lap while gaming/watching TV >noticed I'm feeling less depressed lately, cat is still super friendly with me, even sleeps in my bed now >Mfw no longer depressed cause I meowed at a cat in frustration Guess I'm a cat person now bots

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 258 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon made a birdcel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sysporiday 547 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)08:03:47 No.4598687 >buy baby parakeet >store girl tells me it's female >time passes >Nose turns blue which means male >bring to store to exchange >they refuse >Have to buy a new birb >release old birb into the wild >Walk around town a month later and see old birb around town >Feel kind of happy for him : Anonymous >>4598687 (OP) # >Feel kind of happy for him Anon you made him a birdcel who will never find birdlove 08/22/23(Tue) 15:49:54 No.4598895

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Concerning amount of trolling | /r/Greentext

tinkerchan xd я так устала быть такой ахуенной няшкои 51 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)02:25:40 No.74372351 >be me >never put in school so most of my first social interaction was sexually harrassing peopl on roblox >have r--- o----- in the bathroom simulators >troll women on reddit by pretending to be a misogynistic chad for fun >finally go to community college and meet IRL people >dont know how to act around other women at all so ignore them >one of my first frends gets a gf >meet her at a thanksgiving event >she joke flirts with me by sitting in my lap >IMMEDIATELY grab her >start uncontrollably humping her >le funy r--- troll >everyone screams >she says she unirnoicaly traumatized even tho it was le funny >am banned from club meetings was she asking for it anons i dont know wjat to do im f----- for life

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Why is he like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: DtwWmaG9 19 KB JPG 08/03/23(Thu)01:05:17 No.436652414 Richard dawkins and all the other libtards over the last 30 years be like >screw tradition, screw religion, screw nationalism, screw its cultural practices! But then a sudden transwoman is like >im a woman Richard dawkins and other progressive livtards destroying this culture for the last 30 years all of a sudden like; >OMG WHATS WRONG WITH EVERYONE THESE DAYS, JUST BE NORMAL, BE TRADITIONAL!

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Anon's wife and kids are missing? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)12:55:22 No.189131448 ABILIN THE NELS DIAY3IxV4AAAK9b.jpg 125 KB JPG >Yeah, I really appreciate all the work the police are doing to find my wife and kids >Or whoever killed them I guess, IF that's even what happened haha >Probably was some Puerto Rican guy I bet >The cops all work so hard, they should probably just like take a break and quit worrying about it >I mean if they do find him we should all just promise we won't be mad >Maybe take off his favorite Carolina Tarheels shirt and spank him on his bare butt or something >Man I am like >I am like so super upset right now, darn it dude >Darn that Puerto Rican guy >Darn him to heck >I hate having all of this money and peace and quiet it seriously sucks so much >Anyway if you guys see my bitch wife hit me up on Insta

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Anon has a favorite corner | /r/Greentext

>be me >kindergaten age >spend lot of time at grandma's, countryside >huge yard, lots of space to play around >need to poop >dont really feel like going all the way back to the house and poop in toilet >go to nearby garage >pick a corner 9 KB PNG >poop >do this everyday for one summer i miss my poop corner, things were a lot better when i used to poop in the garage. what shameful/autistic things did you do when you were little anons?

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Anon starts a YouTube channel | /r/Greentext

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Anon goes to a restaurant | /r/Greentext

File: 1674253352374809.jpg (60 KB, 700x933) >remove underwear >wipe thoroughly >no trash can Anonymous 08/25/23(Fri)09:45:35 No.74506112 >>74506876 paper >drive away How is your day been going? >eat a meal at restaurant >finish and pay >need to poop >go to restroom to poop >poop >no toilet papers >damn. >no hand towels neither >damn. >consider the situation >ahah. the underwear. >damn. >well then bottoms up >underwear into toilet >flush >water begins to rise >oh well worth a try >after all life is about struggle. >leave restroom >inform girl at counter that men's room had run out of toilet

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Anon ascends to normiedom with the power of drugs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/21 (Mon) 07:54:08 No.62759582 >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.

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anon is a fish (full thread) | /r/Greentext

26 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous TetraMin 68 KB JPG : Anonymous >be me >fish ><> : Anonymous >>848124746 (OP) # good thread Agreed here ya go bud keep on rocking View Thread 02/23/21(Tue)14:38:48 No.848124843 02/23/21(Tue)14:39:52 No.848124908 02/23/21(Tue)14:42:19 No.848125078

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Anon is worth twice less | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Denver, CO Data Scientist JALA 3.5 MB WEBM 08/24/23(Thu)17:47:47 No.95583682 What the f--- are data scientists paid for so much? I'm a data engineer and do almost the same s--- as them but get paid twice less 08/24/23(Thu)17:49:51 No.95583723 : Anonymous what the f--- is a data scientist? >>95583753 # >>95583817 # >>95583979 # >>95584061 # >>95586246 # >>95588240 # >>95588391 # : Anonymous 08/24/23(Thu)17:51:06 No.95583748 >>95583682 (OP) # >but get paid twice less I think I know why.

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I'm sure she had better things to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 152 KB JPG 08/25/23(Fri)07:41:47 No.904929628 >there is no life after death >I'll never see mommy again >there is life after death >mommy's spirit saw me beating off to ABDL t----- p--- : Anonymous >>904929628 (OP) # Its ok anon I'm sure she enjoyed it 08/25/23(Fri)07:42:27 No.904929664

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Dodged a bullet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ZIG PC1911 TISAS-TURKIYE 07/31/23(Mon)23:59:32 No.59122122 B S_8388615.jpg 425 KB JPG 3017 TEMPAT >>59121428 (OP) # >go to gun store, the extra boomer one that still has s--- in bins and still stock accessories >looking at their generic leather holsters >older man asks if im looking for something >yeah im looking for a holster for a 1911, the thing is mine's one of those turkish ones that has a rail on it so some holsters dont fit >Well son we have some holsters for 1911s right here, do you have the gun somewhere, you can test to see if they fit >Yes, i do have th.... >oh f--- oh f--- i forgot i put catboy grips on my gun as a joke im literally carrying it appendix with a light on my enigma right now >Uh, actually i dont have it RIGHT NOW but ill see if i can bring it unloaded in a case later >>59122165 # >>59122296 # >>59122669 # >>59122737 # >>59123185 # >>59123208 # >>59123559 # >>59124303 # >>59129077 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a cat guy now | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous Take the cat pill anons 1.36 MB PNG 08/25/23(Fri)11:52:19 No.904967591 >be me >depressed, loner, NEET, live at my parents house >one day we get a cat, whatever >cat hates me for whatever reason >is always super cuddly with parents but constantly barfs near me or on my things >never lets me pet him or play with him >also meows really aggressively around me for no reason >try playing with him, he isn't interested and keeps meowing >try feeding him, he keeps meowing >literally just always meowing as loud as he can around me, it's annoying as hell >trying to play clone hero while parents are gone and cat is meowing like always >starts walking all over my desk, I've had it with this f----- >just start meowing back at him, louder than him, it scares him off and he goes hiding somewhere >parents get home and look for him, can't find him anywhere, ask if I let him out >we tear the house apart trying to find him, look everywhere, we came to the conclusion that he must've got out somehow and that was that >ffw tomorrow night, cat comes out of nowhere from upstairs and rubs all over my legs as I'm standing in the kitchen. >whereTFwereyoulittleshit.jpeg >cat is suddenly very friendly with me and always wants to be near me >I start warming up to him as well, it's nice having a cat on your lap while gaming/watching TV >noticed I'm feeling less depressed lately, cat is still super friendly with me, even sleeps in my bed now >Mfw no longer depressed cause I meowed at a cat in frustration Guess I'm a cat person now bots

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