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1h (9/17 19:26) · 74767579 32 Re4 Img PNG 314KB (577 × 563) 1667573032448761.png >meet a nice robot from /r9k/ >tell him I'm not a virgin >he blocks me :( next time i'll just lie :

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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Anon got into a trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/10/23(Sun)00:17:10 No.35849355 >khhv at 28 >saw a tiktok of some cute femboy teehee posing >message him just for fun >turns out he's at my city >keep chatting & sending nudes to each other >one day he asks for my address >gladly send it to him while horny >he says he will stalk me and he is going to top This is where the real succubus is, bros. This is the devil's deal.

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Stage performance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: B/TOSZXQ € 308 KB PNG 09/17/23 (Sun)12:11:31 No.441559447 >be me, 7 years old >love Hitler because he had a cool mustache >think he was just misunderstood and had good intentions >one day, show up at school with a tiny swastika pin on my backpack >everyone stares at me, but I don't care, I'm proud >teacher, Mrs. Johnson, calls me to her desk >she asks me why I have that symbol >tell her Hitler was a great man who did nothing wrong >she looks shocked and tells me to take it off >I refuse, defend my love for Hitler, and call her a dumb c--- >get sent to the principal's office >principal, Mr. Thompson, tries to talk some sense into me >I tell him Hitler was just trying to make the world a better place >he looks at me like I'm crazy, but I stand my ground >call him a fat f----- and demand my swastika pin back >he suspends me for a week, but it's worth it >spend my suspension researching more about Hitler >discover his speeches and think they're the greatest things ever >decide to give a speech of my own at the school talent show >practice in front of the mirror, channeling my inner Hitler >the day of the talent show arrives, and I'm ready to rock the stage >get up on stage, wearing a homemade Nazi uniform >begin my speech, praising Hitler's leadership and vision >the crowd is shocked, some parents start booing and shouting >I don't care, I'm in my element >finish my speech with a Nazi salute, shouting "Heil Hitler!" >chaos erupts, people are screaming, and teachers rush the stage >they drag me off, and the talent show is canceled >when I return to school, everyone treats me like a pariah

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Anon orders something from Japan. | /r/Greentext

Mint Jams Casiopea 130 KB JPG >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon is desensitized to non-sugary drinks | /r/Greentext

File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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Anon mogs manlets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/23(Sat)17:16:17 No.189955863 BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS >he says while literally conjuring a cheap trick : Anonymou why didnt g Untitled.png 269 KB PNG >>189966433 # >>189968685 # >>189975528 # Anonymous >>189956628 # 09/17/23(Sun)01:25:22 No.189968685 >>189955863 # Wasn't really that much of a trick, he just stood up in front of a manlet. It genuinely inspires that much dread : Anonymou in them

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Anon does not understand the cultural significance of this comedic timeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/23 (Sat)21:56:24 No.189709503 ► >>189709797 >>189709810 >>189712711 File: file.jpg (27 KB, 492x412) I'M RICK JAMES ICANHASCHEEZEURGER.COM BITCH!!! >this made millennials piss their pants in laughter

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The perils of dating | /r/Greentext

>want to get a GF >not fat 1h (9/17 22:56) · 74769498 10 Re. 2 Img JPG 953KB (1179 × 1604) IMG_8470.jpg ●●● >see women complaining about the same s--- HOW THE F--- DO PEOPLE MEET ANYMORE : >have my own place >dating apps are useless >women dont want to be talked to at the grocery store or the gym >ask friends how to meet people >they suggest neckbeard s--- like playing disk golf

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Drawbacks of college education | /r/Greentext

52m (9/17 23:12) · 74769663 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 224KB (936 × 1000) 1462180072582.png why do people still pressure me to go to college >student loans >no guarantee for a job >don't enjoy it : >most people end up dropping out >most people end up still getting low-class wagie jobs Yet people on here, other forums, my parents, everyone is fearmongering me to go to college, major in ANYTHING, without giving me any valid reasons.

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Anon gets cucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous cucked by my girlfriend 09/17/23(Sun)06:47:03 No.74766737 IMG_2916.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >have qt3.14 gf of a few months >she comes out as trans >idc she will never be a man >grow distant but don't break up >fast forward 2 months >she gets bottom surgery >has a "penis" now >realization >she has a penis inside her that isn't mine >mfw cucked by my own gf

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Glorious Green Text | /r/Greentext

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go. >Be me >Be about a 6/10 >Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends >Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me >Look up and a 9/10 is running after it >Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves >Become very good friends >Eventually begin dating >Fast forward about two months >New girl moves in >eh about a 7/10, would boink >Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl >New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd >Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous >Fast forward two more weeks >Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch >Fast forward 4 days > Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again >w--.jpeg >Fast forward one more week >Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried >Random knock on my door, Its the cops >Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them >Say yes, getting more worried >Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy TL;DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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Anon embraces spanish culture | /r/Greentext

File: 1657197678492778.png (470 KB, 1201x713) 59 YO SOY Anonymous E 04/26/23 (Wed) 22:35:52 No.181078631 >>181078662 >>18107867 >>181078706 >>181078876 >>181079198 >>181079305 >>181079335 >>181079394 >YOU WILL LEARN SPANISH >YOU WILL BE CATHOLIC >YOU WILL TURN YOUR PYRAMIDS INTO CATHEDRALS >YOU WILL FULLY ASSIMILATE INTO SPANISH CULTURE >YOU WILL BE A SUBJECT OF THE QUEEN & KING OF SPAIN

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The Hymen Taker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/17/23(Sun)11:18:52 No.74768342 >be me >have circle of friends in college >they all have gfs, none of the girls were virgins before dating these guys, most of the guys were before dating these girls >I am considered harmless to the girls so they tell me a lot of their "secret" stuff in private >4/5 of the girls virginities being taken can be traced to the same Chad >my friends dont know that >I dont have the guts to tell my friends about the Hymen Taker

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Greentext Stories - Anon needs a virgin | /r/Greentext

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1h (9/17 19:26) · 74767579 32 Re4 Img PNG 314KB (577 × 563) 1667573032448761.png >meet a nice robot from /r9k/ >tell him I'm not a virgin >he blocks me :( next time i'll just lie :

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