4/1 32m (9/18 12:30). 74776634 5 Re. 1 Img JPG 90KB (564 × 752) e84d6c448d0a145430c2905e9a0d0763. jpg IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING >be me >19 and 5'4 ⠀ >wears oversized hoodies and drinks monster all day >downloaded tinder >finds a match >qt 8/10 with long black hair and a shy looking face >we hit off almost instantly and exchange numbers >we start to flirt right off the bat, exchanging pics and allat s--- >she then somehow snaps and starts calling me cute baby >I get flustered and laugh back at her >she starts to take it REALLY seriously, telling me that shes gonna adopt me instead of us actually hooking up >I still think that it's some kinda of fetish and I go on, soon enough, shes basically avoiding all of my flirts and just treating me like a kid, HER kid to be specific >it's the 3rd girl that does that to me in a month WHAT THE F--- AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I JUST KEEP TRIGGERING THEIR MOTHERLY SENSES

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Valhalla Reimagined | /r/Greentext

InjPe6d/- RU 25m (9/17 23:39). 18717037 3 Re - 0 Img JPG 61KB (976 × 850) 1694459644975589.jpg : >warriors that are taken in Valhalla are forced to fight each other in a meaningless bloodbath how is this not a hell

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Anon hates homeless people | /r/Greentext

09/17/23(Sun)21:17:22 No.74770604 >Be at Central Station >See Homeless man >he wears short pants >His Legs are Bandaged Badly >Giant infected Gashes visible through the bandages >keep as much distance as possible when i walk past him >See this puddle of pus or piss or whatever, propably both below him >Then the smell hits me >Something so foul, unmatched by anything i ever smelt >Smells like rotten flesh, like thousands of decaying rats >Almost vomit everywhere I hate Homeless People. : Anonymous 69 KB PNG : Anonymous 09/17/23(Sun)21:21:14 No.74770650 For those who want to Imagine the Wounds: It looks like these images of People who are using "Crocodile"

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Billions must simon petrify | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/23(Sun)22:12:53 No.139482819 STEVEN UNIVERSE 00:52:02 tumblr_n1mdyepXoH1so18vqo1_400.gif 734 KB GIF NEW EXTERICE CN >all good animators are off to draw skibidi toliet coomer ban ban s--- instead of working on a studio >Most shows are either retarded s--- unironically made for little girls and no one else >or vulgar s--- made for f------ redditors >All good shows had ended in one way or another >The only saving grace is the adventure time sequel but I doubt there will be a season 2 the future seems f------ grim. : Anonymous >>139482819 (OP) # The west has fallen in regards of animation. 09/17/23(Sun)22:15:41 No.139482847

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Anon doesn't get it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG >abstinence sex before donation is one of the requirements >STDs disqualify you What the f---? Why don't incels just donate sperm for free neetbux and die knowing they passed on their genes? Seems like a win/win. I genuinely don't get it. 18 Replies 09/17/23(Sun)18:00:10 No.74772443 >sperm donors can make up to $1k/month from regular donations : Anonymous >strict requirements make it very high demand View Thread 09/17/23(Sun)21:06:04 No.74774340 >strict requirements Why not just, you know, lie? Is the autism too strong for you?

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Anons ex found out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/18/23 (Mon)11:29:19 No.906249067 2018-03-18 09.06.56.jpg 1.59 MB JPG Hey /b/, so few days ago I posted a greentext about the falling out between me and my ex girlfriend. Basically it was a long term relationship that started when we were 16 and 17 and then after the pandemic I did some questionable, unfaithful things. I told her a few months ago and we had a break up and then she started f------ my friend and then she broke up with him after taking him on the trip that her and I planned. She kinda strung me along for a month, we slept together a couple times, before she told me she was in love with my friend and couldnt see me anymore. I can post the screenshots of the greentext, but for now here's an update. >be me >last week >feeling down about the situation with ex >post greentext >include actual photos of her and I >I am retarded >someone screenshots >posts to r/greentext >over night gets to the top of the subreddit >3k upvotes and 300 comments >I have no idea about this >wake up at 6:30 to ex calling me >crying >"f--- you" >"what did I do???" >"You posted my pictures to the internet" >"oh f--- how do you know about that" >the thread was pruned, figured no one would give a s--- tbh >"its on reddit and its blowing up" >ohfuck.jpg >go into damage control mode >"k we will get this removed" >im permabanned from reddit so i have to use my roommates account >spend couple hours trying to get hold of mods >prove im the individual in the photos >they remove it >2k more upvotes and 150 more comments in the meantime >fml but thank f------ god >she sends me screenshot showing its taken down >call her >tell her its dealt with >she's f------ livid >other guy (the ex friend of mine she was sleeping with) was the one who found it and sent it to her >she told him we only hooked up once >lol not my problem tbh

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Anon needs a virgin | /r/Greentext

1h (9/17 19:26) · 74767579 32 Re4 Img PNG 314KB (577 × 563) 1667573032448761.png >meet a nice robot from /r9k/ >tell him I'm not a virgin >he blocks me :( next time i'll just lie :

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Anon got into a trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 09/10/23(Sun)00:17:10 No.35849355 >khhv at 28 >saw a tiktok of some cute femboy teehee posing >message him just for fun >turns out he's at my city >keep chatting & sending nudes to each other >one day he asks for my address >gladly send it to him while horny >he says he will stalk me and he is going to top This is where the real succubus is, bros. This is the devil's deal.

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Stage performance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: B/TOSZXQ € 308 KB PNG 09/17/23 (Sun)12:11:31 No.441559447 >be me, 7 years old >love Hitler because he had a cool mustache >think he was just misunderstood and had good intentions >one day, show up at school with a tiny swastika pin on my backpack >everyone stares at me, but I don't care, I'm proud >teacher, Mrs. Johnson, calls me to her desk >she asks me why I have that symbol >tell her Hitler was a great man who did nothing wrong >she looks shocked and tells me to take it off >I refuse, defend my love for Hitler, and call her a dumb c--- >get sent to the principal's office >principal, Mr. Thompson, tries to talk some sense into me >I tell him Hitler was just trying to make the world a better place >he looks at me like I'm crazy, but I stand my ground >call him a fat f----- and demand my swastika pin back >he suspends me for a week, but it's worth it >spend my suspension researching more about Hitler >discover his speeches and think they're the greatest things ever >decide to give a speech of my own at the school talent show >practice in front of the mirror, channeling my inner Hitler >the day of the talent show arrives, and I'm ready to rock the stage >get up on stage, wearing a homemade Nazi uniform >begin my speech, praising Hitler's leadership and vision >the crowd is shocked, some parents start booing and shouting >I don't care, I'm in my element >finish my speech with a Nazi salute, shouting "Heil Hitler!" >chaos erupts, people are screaming, and teachers rush the stage >they drag me off, and the talent show is canceled >when I return to school, everyone treats me like a pariah

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Anon orders something from Japan. | /r/Greentext

Mint Jams Casiopea 130 KB JPG >be me >discover awesome Japanese jazz fusion band "Casiopea" >love them so much order vinyl record from eBay japan >it arrives in immaculate condition along with two little origami cranes and a pack of tea >little hand written note in English (guy put huge effort into making it look nice) from the seller hoping for the buying experience to be positive and is sealed with real wax seal >make the tea and put the record on in my finished basement >listening to mint jams with origami crane friends >start to cry because nobody will ever love me as much as that random Japanese man >tea is f------ bomb ass delicious- I thought I just didn't like tea before that >sadness becomes warm feeling of gratitude and joy >doomer to bloomer just like that Is this why y'all love weeb s---? That was one of the nicer evenings in my life.

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Anon is desensitized to non-sugary drinks | /r/Greentext

File: 1570322379797.jpg (128 KB, 441x330) soda drinkers when they wind up in hell: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)01:38:27 No.189679621 ► >>189679643 >>189679656 >>189680167 >AHHHHH DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK BESIDES WATER IT'S JUST THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AAAAARUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

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Anon mogs manlets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/16/23(Sat)17:16:17 No.189955863 BILBO BAGGINS! DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS >he says while literally conjuring a cheap trick : Anonymou why didnt g Untitled.png 269 KB PNG >>189966433 # >>189968685 # >>189975528 # Anonymous >>189956628 # 09/17/23(Sun)01:25:22 No.189968685 >>189955863 # Wasn't really that much of a trick, he just stood up in front of a manlet. It genuinely inspires that much dread : Anonymou in them

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Anon does not understand the cultural significance of this comedic timeline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/23 (Sat)21:56:24 No.189709503 ► >>189709797 >>189709810 >>189712711 File: file.jpg (27 KB, 492x412) I'M RICK JAMES ICANHASCHEEZEURGER.COM BITCH!!! >this made millennials piss their pants in laughter

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Greentext Stories - Growing Pains of Flirting | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

4/1 32m (9/18 12:30). 74776634 5 Re. 1 Img JPG 90KB (564 × 752) e84d6c448d0a145430c2905e9a0d0763. jpg IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING >be me >19 and 5'4 ⠀ >wears oversized hoodies and drinks monster all day >downloaded tinder >finds a match >qt 8/10 with long black hair and a shy looking face >we hit off almost instantly and exchange numbers >we start to flirt right off the bat, exchanging pics and allat s--- >she then somehow snaps and starts calling me cute baby >I get flustered and laugh back at her >she starts to take it REALLY seriously, telling me that shes gonna adopt me instead of us actually hooking up >I still think that it's some kinda of fetish and I go on, soon enough, shes basically avoiding all of my flirts and just treating me like a kid, HER kid to be specific >it's the 3rd girl that does that to me in a month WHAT THE F--- AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I JUST KEEP TRIGGERING THEIR MOTHERLY SENSES

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