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: Anonymous 107 KB JPG 10/30/23(Mon)08:01:04 No.908509873 >be me >love my dog, he's the best >a few weeks ago I notice that when I was really close to his face while talking to him he'd kinda lick the air like he was trying to lick my face from afar >cutest thing ever >since then I've been constantly blowing air towards him just to see him lick the air >today, on a whim I decide to look this up wondering if other dogs do this or if he just loves me extra >find out that when I blow air on his face, it dries out his nose which is very uncomfortable and so he licks his nose, not the air, to get it wet again >I've basically been torturing my dog for weeks >feel terrible >while wallowing in guilt, I feel a lick on my foot and my dog's right there wagging his tail as usual while looking at me >pretty sure all is forgiven >like I said, he's the best

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon plays Diablo 4 | /r/Greentext

File: 1698622149964146.jpg (25 KB, 512x468) $67.49 cad + tax to purchase >uninstalled before trial is up Anonymous (ID: AggrV/g0 10/30/23 (Mon)12:36:34 No.446868184 >>446870716 >>446870818 >>446870562 >Diablo 4 free trial is available >install it >use bleeding ability on a skeleton >skeleton bleeds to death >mfw the game costs Disappointing. Diablo 4 is a solid 4/10. Also apparently Diablo isn't even in the game?

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It exists, just not for you | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cyrogenic freezing 1625 45 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)16:37:27 No.191505564 >the idea of cyrogenically freezing someone has been done in movies for decades >yets nobodys ever been frozen from the 50s and unfrozen in our modern age

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Anon has an abusive parent | /r/Greentext

File: 8018D4E033D21D86EFFFB2A69(...).jpg (32 KB, 512x512) I'm done. Anonymous 10/30/23 (Mon)13:04:12 No.75240647 >be me >brought into the world by a single mother who decided to sleep around when she was 16 >get called too "feminine" all my life from my mother >get constantly mentally and physically abused as a young child because she decided to take her anger out on me >get brainwashed by her and gain toxic masculinity from a woman trying to her best to tell me what "masculine traits" a man is supposed to have >Unsurprisingly, none of the relationships I've gotten into ever worked out because of this >finally 18 and emotionally drained and extremely depressed from my mother at this point, tell her I'm moving out >I come back home from work and decide to head to my mother's house to get the rest of my s--- >find her sobbing while she destroys my electronics and my clothing >fast forward to now. 23, living in a s----- studio apartment, living paycheck to paycheck, no friends or family to contact, and I have accepted that I simply do not have a successful future.

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Anon has it rough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG does this happen in your country? : Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)19:14:45 No.189289410 >that friend who killed himself by jumping off a cliff >that friend who hanged himself >that friend who walked into the woods and killed himself by OD'ing >that friend who died in a car accident >that friend who got stabbed at the pub and died 51 KB PNG 10/29/23(Sun)19:15:13 No.189289427 >>189289410 (OP) #

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Anon plays Peacehammer 40k. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/14 (Fri) 13:37:36 No.23278 >>23289 >>23205>>23318 >>23384 >>23551 File (hide): 1414759056814.jpg (17.51 KB, 308x297, 28:27, 1413122427805.jpg) >>23081 (OP) >2018 >playing new favorite GW game Peacehammer 40,000 >lore retconned >Eldar history rewritten >their race died off because they did not "embrace diversity" >new Chaos gods created: Whitey, Maleness, Cishet, and their leader the Patriarch >the Empress leads humanity against the forces of Chaos >Her elite warriors are transexual Samoan otherkin Space Marines armored in titanium shells with the words "I DRINK MALE TEARS" in Latin inscribed on them >they have an armor save of 3+ but are vulnerable to a long list of triggers that require them to stop fighting and retreat to the special Hugbox unit, which replaces the Landraider >roll up into my local GW store >field Chaos army every single time >add business attire and other patriarchal ornamentation to my miniatures >consistently refuse to check privilege >shuts down all enemy squads as the Hugbox carrying capacity is exceeded >opponents are too triggered by the triggering to play >win every game >hold door for opponents as they leave, lording my patriarchal Chaos-laden oppression over them >tell them after they walk out, "It was my privilege." >mfw

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anon is british | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)22:25:07 No.908493185 [Reply] >>908493578 >my face when americans call chips "french fries" >my face when americans call crisps "chips" >my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks" >my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >my face when americans call meat water "gravy" >my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables" >my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger" >my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards" >my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly" >my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift" >my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie" >my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun" >my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb" >my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake" >my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"

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Anon doesn't get the hint | /r/Greentext

this happened a few years ago >have a crush on girl >manage to get her over to my house to watch a movie >we're both on the couch watching it 40 KB JPG >she grabs my arm and wraps it around her so we're cuddled together and she starts leaning into me more >just stay like that for a while, feels good >at some point she gets up and goes to the bathroom >when she comes back to the bathroom i look up and see she doesn't have a shirt or bra on >her t------ are just... right there and she's looking right at me >brain completely freezes and i'm totally confused >i give her a f------ thumbs up and say nice t--- then go back to watching the movie >she stands there for a few seconds then goes back to the bathroom and puts her bra and shirt back on and watches the rest of the movie like nothing happened

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Anon took a course on race relations. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Nilla wafers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous amazin : Anonymous ok C:47 No.794819925 >implying white people never had their own N word No.794820220 )20:16:43 No.794820286

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Anon applies for a job at Best Buy | /r/Greentext

File: wagie.jpg (39 KB, 699x439) Job Search Stories Anonymous 10/30/23 (Mon)04:41:56 No.75237372 >>75237493 >>75238231 >>75238470 >>75238484 >apply for job in best buy warehouse >have to do "one way video interview" where I get asked questions and have to answer them in a prerecorded video >has me say f------ "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" out loud so the Al botnet can analyze and b------- my voice data >complete the humiliation ritual >first question: "Why are you excited about working at best buy?" >I'm not >Say in fake happy voice "I am excited about working at best buy because..." >>75238284 >Start to feel f------ retarded >Say "I can't do this s---" and finish the recording THE JOB SEARCH CONTINUES Anonymous 10/30/23(Mon) 04:53:38 No.75237493 >>75237507 >>75237372 (OP) # The automatic system worked. It is purposefully designed to humiliate you in order to weed out the people who are not willing to subject themselves to that kind of degradation. They do not want people with pride or self-worth. They want people who will eat s--- everyday with a smile on their face.

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Unironically, is he stupid? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/23(Mon)02:07:36 No.655745143 1686697080783442.png 2.22 MB PNG TOROMONT >"I don't kill people." >breaks every bone in a guy's arm then tosses him off a building >refuses to properly deal with a psychotic clown, which leads to dozens of people dying every few weeks

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Anon reaches "peak autism" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 60 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)16:58:00 No.15799143 Anonymous >have zero small talking skills >have no friends >only social life is at a buddhist temple >meet old wealthy couple at a yearly festival >teach them about buddhism thanks to my autism >they secure a job for me This is it, I've reached peak autism. 1 Reply View Thread 10/29/23(Sun)17:37:43 No. 15799309 >teach them about buddhism >they give you a job what

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Anon doesn't like double standards | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)23:19:52 No.325997892 ► >>32601 File: 1453421252682.jpg (25 KB, 500x363) >go on twitter >see twitter lesbians gush about women >"i gotta to kiss a woman rn" >❞i need to suck mad t------" >remember the time I got death threats because i called my own girlfriend hot >mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon blows his dog | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 107 KB JPG 10/30/23(Mon)08:01:04 No.908509873 >be me >love my dog, he's the best >a few weeks ago I notice that when I was really close to his face while talking to him he'd kinda lick the air like he was trying to lick my face from afar >cutest thing ever >since then I've been constantly blowing air towards him just to see him lick the air >today, on a whim I decide to look this up wondering if other dogs do this or if he just loves me extra >find out that when I blow air on his face, it dries out his nose which is very uncomfortable and so he licks his nose, not the air, to get it wet again >I've basically been torturing my dog for weeks >feel terrible >while wallowing in guilt, I feel a lick on my foot and my dog's right there wagging his tail as usual while looking at me >pretty sure all is forgiven >like I said, he's the best

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