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File: wagie.jpg (39 KB, 699x439) Job Search Stories Anonymous 10/30/23 (Mon)04:41:56 No.75237372 >>75237493 >>75238231 >>75238470 >>75238484 >apply for job in best buy warehouse >have to do "one way video interview" where I get asked questions and have to answer them in a prerecorded video >has me say f------ "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" out loud so the Al botnet can analyze and b------- my voice data >complete the humiliation ritual >first question: "Why are you excited about working at best buy?" >I'm not >Say in fake happy voice "I am excited about working at best buy because..." >>75238284 >Start to feel f------ retarded >Say "I can't do this s---" and finish the recording THE JOB SEARCH CONTINUES Anonymous 10/30/23(Mon) 04:53:38 No.75237493 >>75237507 >>75237372 (OP) # The automatic system worked. It is purposefully designed to humiliate you in order to weed out the people who are not willing to subject themselves to that kind of degradation. They do not want people with pride or self-worth. They want people who will eat s--- everyday with a smile on their face.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Unironically, is he stupid? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/23(Mon)02:07:36 No.655745143 1686697080783442.png 2.22 MB PNG TOROMONT >"I don't kill people." >breaks every bone in a guy's arm then tosses him off a building >refuses to properly deal with a psychotic clown, which leads to dozens of people dying every few weeks

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Anon reaches "peak autism" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 60 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)16:58:00 No.15799143 Anonymous >have zero small talking skills >have no friends >only social life is at a buddhist temple >meet old wealthy couple at a yearly festival >teach them about buddhism thanks to my autism >they secure a job for me This is it, I've reached peak autism. 1 Reply View Thread 10/29/23(Sun)17:37:43 No. 15799309 >teach them about buddhism >they give you a job what

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Anon doesn't like double standards | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)23:19:52 No.325997892 ► >>32601 File: 1453421252682.jpg (25 KB, 500x363) >go on twitter >see twitter lesbians gush about women >"i gotta to kiss a woman rn" >❞i need to suck mad t------" >remember the time I got death threats because i called my own girlfriend hot >mfw

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Don't forget | /r/Greentext

Start a New Thread View Announcement BORN EUSA DON'T FORGET YOUR DUTY! SERVICE TIVE Return Archive [Advertise on 4chan] THE NATION MAY NEED YOU TO SAVE IT SSS Show OP Comment: On SYSTEM Bottom Refresh Sort By: Bump order Image Size: Small Filters Search

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Anon dodges the draft by acting like a typical 4chan user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: yqRr+NtH 10/29/23(Sun)20:03:46 No.446826939 >>446821169 (OP) # I've been intentionally tanking my physical and mental health lately in order to avoid the draft. >Haven't taken my asthma medication since shortly after the invasion >Haven't gone to therapy in quite a while either >Been eating like s---, mostly ramen noodles, buttered pasta, Mac & cheese, and Oreos >Haven't been exercising >Spend most of my time sitting alone in a dark room I've considered intentionally giving myself a heart attack or stroke to really make sure, but I'm afraid I might accidentally kill myself

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Anon lives in the big city | /r/Greentext

07/23/20(Thu)23:32:56 No.127376602 >DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it's so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i'm in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it's got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade-listen here, right, it's a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!!! it's also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we're both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spent more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. I'm f----- JACKED man, I'm gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!! Anonymous 123 KB JPG

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Girlfriend music discovery on man’s favorite game | /r/Greentext

>be me 22 year old college student >have gf >gfs family member just died and for some reason has incredibly horny streak 633 KB GIF >she has be f------ me endlessly for days >don't think i have to worry about anything she has irregular menstrual cycle so i assume shes less infertile, pull out method all the way >one day im gaming, pulls me aside in lingere >herewegoagain.mp3 >says she wants to do it to some music she found >wait w-- is that the f------ pizza tower soundtrack? >it is. >Its the f------ noise's theme. >proceeds to f--- me into oblivion >not even kidding the best sex of all time in my life literally melting down there and can feel it up my spine >she is f------ me to the rhythm? >imboutablow.mp4 >literally buckets the most ever in my life I didn't last 5 minutes >FFD 1-2 months later >gf has stopped horny streak ever since that night for some reason. >gf has gotten really sick the past couple days >go to hospital and find out shes pregnant. >Mfw well guys my son/daughter was conceived from f------ pizza tower music, and my life is about to take a drastic change. Do not do your wife/gf to video game soundtracks.

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Anon loses the love of his life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 45 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)17:11:34 No.75234326 >Be me 6 years go >Browsing sketchy anonymous app >Some girl posts about wanting to lose her virginity before she kills herself >Message her because I wanted to get laid, didn't think she was serious >We talk for a couple weeks >She showed me what she looked like and she wasn't bad looking >End up meeting up >She was way cuter in person >Kinda tomboyish, visibly socially awkward >We hang out for a bit and end up f------ >She was actually nice to be around and I liked her >Tried to contact her again >She never responded I think about her almost every night. I never got her real name so I couldn't find an obituary. Don't know if she just ghosted me or if she actually killed herself

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Femanon gets the ick. | /r/Greentext

File: 1616844035258.jpg (74 KB, 429x429) 98 Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)12:31:35 No.75229370 >get the ick from someone >decide i don't want to be friends anymore >actively avoid them >leave when they arrive >they still can't take the hint >outright unfriend them >they still can't take the hint >and now they're gossipping about me spreading rumors i hate people so much take the I you disgusting freaks this behaviour literally proves i was rught to get the ick

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Anons get watches. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 43 KB JPG >go to a coffee shop, see a cute girl >sit next to her and strike up a conversation. >she seems uninterested keeps checking her phone 10/29/23(Sun)17:06:21 No.75234267 >be >32 year old virgin >save up for months to buy a fancy Rolex >finally get the Rolex, feel like a million bucks >suddenly, Rolex starts ticking loudly >girl: "Is that your watch?" >me: "Uh, yeah, it's a Rolex." >girl's eyes light up, suddenly interested. >girl: "Wow, that's impressive. I love expensive watches." Anonymous >we chat she's into me because of the watch >exchange numbers, plan a date later virgins 90 KB JPG 10/29/23(Sun)17:07:38 No.75234281 >>75234267 (OP) my rado gets me girls

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Anon has a dating plan | /r/Greentext

File: 123.gif (1.83 MB, 498x409) why not date a friendless loser? Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)11:03:49 No.75228798 >>75228833 >>75228851 >>75228859 >>75228885 >>75228886 >>75228907 >>75228933 >>75229170 >>75229311 >no chance to cheat on you >entirely dependent on you for emotional support >all their spare time can be spent with you >you can influence them a lot more >>75228897 >you dont have to be jealous or paranoid about them >they will think you're the best thing in their life, the best they can ever get, and worship you sounds like a good deal, right? Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)11:07:55 No.75228833 File: _3947.jpg (92 KB, 523x410) >>75228798 (OP) # Because I'm a friendless loser who doesn't know how to make any friends Anonymous !ItWB4Junas 10/29/23(Sun)11:10:05 No.75228851 >>75228798 (OP) # the flaw in that logic is that females like that are as rare as unicorns i already struggle with making acquaintances/friends myself, my chances of finding a girl like that are the same of finding a very specific grain of sand in the sahara desert Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)11:11:28 No.75228859 >>75228798 (OP) # and thats exactly my type Imao. if theyre intelligent too, holy f--- i fall hard

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Anon loses his cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous shutterstock 10/29/23(Sun)14:17:14 No.908471216 659 KB JPG >be me >uncircumcised and have serious anxiety (important later trust me) >hanging out with girl I have a crush on >things happen and eventually we start making out >it seems like things are going to go all the way as she pulls my pants down to suck my d--- >thing is I haven't showered since the morning and it was late at this point so I knew my d--- stunk >immediately stop her from giving me head >I'm a nervous wreck at this point and trying to figure out a way to explain why I stopped her >she keeps asking me what's wrong and if I don't want to have sex >feeling this maybe once in a lifetime chance slipping away I blurt out that I was sexually assaulted as a kid when my nanny performed oral on me and I'm traumatized by oral sex >she completely understands and we end up having sex thankfully The problem now is we've been together for 2 years now and I haven't gotten any head since and it's killing me. I don't know if I can live this head- less existence anymore.

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Greentext Stories - Anon applies for a job at Best Buy | /r/Greentext

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File: wagie.jpg (39 KB, 699x439) Job Search Stories Anonymous 10/30/23 (Mon)04:41:56 No.75237372 >>75237493 >>75238231 >>75238470 >>75238484 >apply for job in best buy warehouse >have to do "one way video interview" where I get asked questions and have to answer them in a prerecorded video >has me say f------ "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" out loud so the Al botnet can analyze and b------- my voice data >complete the humiliation ritual >first question: "Why are you excited about working at best buy?" >I'm not >Say in fake happy voice "I am excited about working at best buy because..." >>75238284 >Start to feel f------ retarded >Say "I can't do this s---" and finish the recording THE JOB SEARCH CONTINUES Anonymous 10/30/23(Mon) 04:53:38 No.75237493 >>75237507 >>75237372 (OP) # The automatic system worked. It is purposefully designed to humiliate you in order to weed out the people who are not willing to subject themselves to that kind of degradation. They do not want people with pride or self-worth. They want people who will eat s--- everyday with a smile on their face.

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