LEOOOOON!!! GET OUT OF THIS BED, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE PLAYING AROUND! CLAIRE IS ALL ALONE IN HER BEDROOM, AND SHE RECENTLY BOUGHT GLOWING TOYS OF HER OWN BECAUSE YOU MAKE HER SO LONELY! NOT NORMAL TOYS, TOO: THESE ARE BASED ON CATS, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? SOME NASTY, UMBRELLA-CORP-WORTHY BARBED ABOMINATIONS! YOU GOTTA HELP ME THERE, LEON! SHOOT YOUR STAR INTO HER CRATER BEFORE THE REDFIELD BLOODLINE GOES EXTINCT!!!
Chris: "Ok, Claire. Just hear me out. Leon may be a complete himbo with an attraction from random Asian double agent women, but one of his favorite things is sleeping with glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs toys or whatever. All you need to do is wearing something that glows in the dark and have him do extremely rough sex with you. Just this once!"
Piers: "Why can't I do it?"
Chris: "You can't Piers, you're dead and 20 thousands feet at the bottom of the ocean! Stop trying to Skype me! No one uses Skype anymore!"
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Nov 09, 2023 at 09:35AM EST
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