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$Anonymous 11 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)17:39:59 No.75506738 >21 year old college kid >lost virginity last month to a friend >had sex maybe 20 times this week with same friend >still prefer fapping Stimfapping felt better than any of the times I've had sex. It's overrated anons. I'd rather pop a few amphetamines and edge to feet for a few hours. Sex is a fraction of that stimulation, it's also kinda gross and stinky. Moral of the story. Stimfapping > women.$

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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anon doesn't know his own strength | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 75511645 11/23/23 12:31:21 AM 1700728063417 JPG 286x256 43.3 kB I dont know what to do anons.. I'm devastated >be me >like to keep fish >have betta and two african dwarf frogs >feel like they need another friend >add another betta, keep him separated for the first couple days >things are going great >release him >he immediately charges my other betta and attacks it, killing it within minutes >grab him in anger and flick him hard on the head to teach him that's not ok >the fish instantly dies I've been crying for the last hour, the betta was my only friend and now they're both dead, please any advices would help

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The Closing Act | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)13:36:07 No.909728181 >be me at work >at my desk horny as f--- >figure a little cooming wouldn't be too bad >start beating the f--- out of my d--- >accidentally take it too far and about to blow a load >right before, I notice the camera at the end of the room swivel in my direction (someone has to be on watching it to make it turn) >I straighten up and put on my poker face like I was working right before it turns on me >I was literally a second from c------ though >couldn't hold it in >a big ass glob of c-- shoots out from under my desk to the person's desk in front of me >all on camera as someone was watching it What the f--- do I do anons? My life is about to be f------ over

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Anon becomes a hypochondriac | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)16:52:24 No.192378152 >watch medical flick >spread of a disease is shown >get scared of breathing air irl

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Pharaohs and Pyramids | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 128 KB JPG Anonymous 11/22/23(Wed)19:51:30 No.75508180 next day >puts me to work alone in the draining room >go home and play some senet >eat nile nuggets >go to sleep >dream of being an obelisk polisher >>75508180 >be me >be me >ancient egyptian >live in rental pyramid >wagie at the mummy factory >boss constantly mad at me >"Hotep, you've been slacking, might just wrap you next!" >he shows up on a new sphinx the 11/22/23(Wed)21:16:23 No.75508899 >ancient egyptian >hear architect flirting with girl >"hey girl, I need to pet your sphinx" >"Hnrg, chad you make my nile flood" >keep counting every head of barely like a cuck >what a f------ w----

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Sour Notes of 2023 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2023 sucks 48 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)21:06:28 No.909746430 >Be 2023 >Gf I dated for 6 years breaks up with me >Best friend of 5 years commits suicide >Friend stabs me in the back after I got him super expensive heart meds >Become homeless for a while because gf legally owned the flat (I paid for everything tho) >Return home to my parents to see my childhood bedroom gone and renovated into dad's f------ music studio >Lose a well paying job with a great collective because of budget cuts >Friend of 8 years overdoses on drugs and passes away >One of my only friends left suddenly ghosts and deletes all socials overnight. See her active on Steam sometimes but she never replies to my messages, not blocked or unfriended tho. Been over a month Is God trying to tell me to kill myself?

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Anon is thinking about buying a gun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Xxg5tUO )= 11/22/23(Wed)15:26:21 No.449610464 4n50iy7phesa1.jpg 37 KB JPG Should I buy a gun? I have been debating this all week. The Cons: >Have to maintain it >Buying a gun + ammo costs a lot >I might get too drunk and try to shoot myself >Ear damage The Pros: >I don't have to pay prostitutes anymore

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Technical question | /r/Greentext

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Anon's brother is a neckbeard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 767715027 43 min. ago... My step brother is a fat cringy neckbeard, i'm bored as f--- right now so heres some cringe. 78.1 kB JPG >Few years ago, both in high school >We make our own anime forum to f--- around with >We get a few members >One "girl" starts posting on our forum >Says shes super in love with step brother >In forum chat, they both are having cyber sex in front of everyone >He didn't realize that i'm an admin and can see IP's >He was literally logging in as both the girl and himself and was essentially having cyber sex with himself

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Blind Love | /r/Greentext

sage 11/22/23(Wed)18:07:41 No.75507056 >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library. Why haven't YOU taken the blindpill anon? 7 KB JPG

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Dear Penthouse, I never thought I’d be writing one of these letters, but… | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 11/17/21(Wed)10:02:33 No.866870353 >Be me >A------ roommate moved his GF in >Against lease terms but I allow it at start >Big mistake >She doesn't pay a cent towards bills or rent >We both work from home but she always interrupting my meetings and calls >Told roommate its time for her to go or pay her share >He says he'll have a word with her >That was 6 months ago >She still here and not paying her share >Last night I confronted her >Told her to pack her things >She said if I let her stay she will make it worth my while >She still here and extra flirty with me when roommate is out What do I do? : Anonymous 11/17/21(Wed)10:10:18 No.866870699 Don't do it dude. Nothing good can come from her actions coming to fruition. She's a w---- and deserves the door, get rid of her lad. >>866870811 # >>866870888 #

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Hasty Heartbreak | /r/Greentext

11/22/23(Wed)14:10:20 No.909729504 > be at girlfriends parents house for early thanksgiving > her parents, siblings, and grandparents and cousins are there > 'hi anon nice to finally meet you' > family decides to play word association game where someone says a word and the person next to them says what the first word in their head is when they hear the word - and this goes on around the table several times Anonymous 9 KB JPG > grandma says 'Catholics' > uncle sitting next to me > he says 'Judaism’ > gf deadpans to me shaking her head and mouthing 'don't f------ do it!' > years of 4chan come out of me in an uncontrollable instant > without thinking and without hesitation I say 'k----' > whole room goes silent > girlfriend face turns bright red > mother and father jaws wide open in shock staring at me > uncle looks visibly p----- > rest of dinner no one talks to me, I feel like an outcast now > afterward girlfriend says I should go home > now she's not responding to my texts How f----- am I? This was the first girlfriend I've had in years and I ruined it one second

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Anon is upset | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 60208684 127.4 kB JPG Yesterday... >>60208514 >great grandpa died >know for a fact he had HIS 1911 he was issued from when he served >nobody in family is antigun but nobody really cares about guns that much either, most anybody but me owns is a mossberg 500 >let everybody know I want that gun, I'll buy it, I don't care how much >grandma got the 1911, was going to give it to me >went to the gunstore to get it transferred because she doesn't really get how freedom works >guy at the gunstore talks her into trading it for a m------------ first generation S&W M&P in .40 >go to the gunstore and attempt to buy it from them >nah don't know what you're talking about man, check out this kimber though we have a great price on it!

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Greentext Stories - The Equation of Intimacy | /r/Greentext

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$Anonymous 11 KB JPG 11/22/23(Wed)17:39:59 No.75506738 >21 year old college kid >lost virginity last month to a friend >had sex maybe 20 times this week with same friend >still prefer fapping Stimfapping felt better than any of the times I've had sex. It's overrated anons. I'd rather pop a few amphetamines and edge to feet for a few hours. Sex is a fraction of that stimulation, it's also kinda gross and stinky. Moral of the story. Stimfapping > women.$

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