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Anonymous 10/04/13(Fri)22:42:49 UTC+2 No.509294029 Replies: >>509294965 > Be working as male nurse (no h---) in the Emergency Room at a major metropolitan hospital > Pretty quiet night > Suddenly floors start shaking, chunks falling from the ceiling > A whole family of Lard Shufflers have walked in off the street > Mother is a true Hambeast > Average height, fat rolls everywhere, thighs so big she has to waddle in crablike fashion > She approaches my counter, face is so fat you can't even see her eyes > I'm guessing heart attack, stroke, intestinal blockage, diabeetus > maybealloftheabove.jpeg > Get her in the exam room, takes three tries to hoist herself onto the exam table >Fear for table's structural integrity > howitgroans.png > Turns out hambeast is here about some sort of skin condition > Lifts up her circus tent, exposing muh curves > SourMilkAndWeekOldGarbageSmell.iso > Stifle urge to vomit, professional mode engaged > nonjudgmental.jpeg > Take deep breath and investigate indicated region > Awful looking brown-black growth on midsection > Oh f--- it looks like a melanoma > skincancer trojan > It is very advanced, it is almost certain the cancer has spread > Less than five percent survival rate > Those poor kids, they're going to be orphans > Look at the little HamMoons > Only toddlers and already have the curves > They will probably be better off without the mombeast > sadbuttrue.mkv > Bring back doctor to examine the cancer > See him engage professional mode at the sight of the beached landwhale > mustnotjudge.mp4 > Puts on latex gloves and engages close examination mode > Doctor manipulates fat rolls to expose previously hidden belly button > Inbetween the rolls of fat is a greasy sort of cream cheese coating > Doctor and I are assailed by fresh wave of putrescent scent > Doctor turns away and coughs > Professional mode re-engaged > The cancer seems to have its origins in belly button > mawofhell.jpeg > Long period of examination ensues > Suddenly confused look comes on Doctor's face > lightbulb.gif Anonymous 10/04/13(Fri)22:45:35 UTC+2 No.509294369 Replies: >>509294965 >>509295717 >>509295841 > Doctor gets his forceps out, reaches in and grips the cancer > popsound.mp3 > Cancer comes away in one clean piece > Doctor puts cancer in plastic sample bag > Skin underneath is clean, no more cancer > Have I just witnessed a miracle? > "It was a mushroom" announces doctor with straight face > "In the future try to wash your belly button out each day with water and soap" advises doctor > Doctor leaves > Am stricken dumb, have lost power of speech > HamPlanet had been so unhygienic her bellybutton had acquired layer of soil in base > Had grown mushroom without even noticing > supermario.gif > Leave the examination room in daze > MedicalSchoolDid NotPrepareMeForThis.tmp > See Doctor outside > Still has mushroom in plastic sample bag > I would have given it to her, says Doctor > But she might have eaten it > Uncontrollable laughter ensues, professional mode not required in private. tl;dr Fat woman comes into ER with cancer-like skin growth, turns out it was a mushroom.

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Anon and the Hambeast | /r/Greentext


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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #
34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
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Greentext Stories - Anon and the Hambeast | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 10/04/13(Fri)22:42:49 UTC+2 No.509294029 Replies: >>509294965 > Be working as male nurse (no h---) in the Emergency Room at a major metropolitan hospital > Pretty quiet night > Suddenly floors start shaking, chunks falling from the ceiling > A whole family of Lard Shufflers have walked in off the street > Mother is a true Hambeast > Average height, fat rolls everywhere, thighs so big she has to waddle in crablike fashion > She approaches my counter, face is so fat you can't even see her eyes > I'm guessing heart attack, stroke, intestinal blockage, diabeetus > maybealloftheabove.jpeg > Get her in the exam room, takes three tries to hoist herself onto the exam table >Fear for table's structural integrity > howitgroans.png > Turns out hambeast is here about some sort of skin condition > Lifts up her circus tent, exposing muh curves > SourMilkAndWeekOldGarbageSmell.iso > Stifle urge to vomit, professional mode engaged > nonjudgmental.jpeg > Take deep breath and investigate indicated region > Awful looking brown-black growth on midsection > Oh f--- it looks like a melanoma > skincancer trojan > It is very advanced, it is almost certain the cancer has spread > Less than five percent survival rate > Those poor kids, they're going to be orphans > Look at the little HamMoons > Only toddlers and already have the curves > They will probably be better off without the mombeast > sadbuttrue.mkv > Bring back doctor to examine the cancer > See him engage professional mode at the sight of the beached landwhale > mustnotjudge.mp4 > Puts on latex gloves and engages close examination mode > Doctor manipulates fat rolls to expose previously hidden belly button > Inbetween the rolls of fat is a greasy sort of cream cheese coating > Doctor and I are assailed by fresh wave of putrescent scent > Doctor turns away and coughs > Professional mode re-engaged > The cancer seems to have its origins in belly button > mawofhell.jpeg > Long period of examination ensues > Suddenly confused look comes on Doctor's face > lightbulb.gif Anonymous 10/04/13(Fri)22:45:35 UTC+2 No.509294369 Replies: >>509294965 >>509295717 >>509295841 > Doctor gets his forceps out, reaches in and grips the cancer > popsound.mp3 > Cancer comes away in one clean piece > Doctor puts cancer in plastic sample bag > Skin underneath is clean, no more cancer > Have I just witnessed a miracle? > "It was a mushroom" announces doctor with straight face > "In the future try to wash your belly button out each day with water and soap" advises doctor > Doctor leaves > Am stricken dumb, have lost power of speech > HamPlanet had been so unhygienic her bellybutton had acquired layer of soil in base > Had grown mushroom without even noticing > supermario.gif > Leave the examination room in daze > MedicalSchoolDid NotPrepareMeForThis.tmp > See Doctor outside > Still has mushroom in plastic sample bag > I would have given it to her, says Doctor > But she might have eaten it > Uncontrollable laughter ensues, professional mode not required in private. tl;dr Fat woman comes into ER with cancer-like skin growth, turns out it was a mushroom.

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Uploaded Jan 12, 2024 at 03:21PM EST

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Greentext Stories

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