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File: 1646459608474.png (1.71 MB, 1230x1650) O Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:37:52 No.912661309 ► >be me >attend wife's funeral (may God bless her soul) >priest is talking about how good of a person she was, how she will be missed, yadda yadda >get a text on my phone >"did you here the noose? curry died" >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg >see a metal pole next to me >rip it out of the ground >charge priest >beat him to death with pole while screaming "IN THE AAAARMS OF AN ANGLEEEE" >everyone also attending the funeral is recording me, yelling to call the police >escape the scene >hide in a nearby abandoned building I'm f------ crying and screaming right now, /b/ros. What do I do? Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:46:25 No.912661577 Things that never happened

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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What’s this person on about? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V5mRCzfv) F--- Tesla 9-II WAS AN INSIDE JOB 7 KB JPG 01/19/24(Fri)22:25:05 No.455800284 Me: *buys offensive bumper stickers Also me: *puts them on every Tesla I see Too far or not far enough?

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Its so over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 01/20/24(Sat)06:43:04 No.76175365 >beat off an hour or two ago, busted a fat nut >my younger sister walks into my room to give me my mail >"mmm! it smells good in here!" >she just stands there sniffing the air like a dog what the actual f---

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Licence to Cope | /r/Greentext

File: License-to-Kill-63a6198.jpg (84 KB, 980x654) >>195199103 (OP) Bond Thread Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)19:08:55 No.195199103 >>195199232 >>195199501 >>195199689 >>195200391 >>195200468 >>195200734>>195201248 >>195201331 >>195201408 >>195201648 ☐ Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:32:58 No.195201648 >>195201724 >>195201728 >Bond is his actual name! >Blofeld is his brother! He was the last James Bond. Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig and their movies are not canon. >canon What even is "canon" to Bond anyway? The whole point is that he's a blunt cipher that f---- women and gets the job done with gadgets, style, and a lot of luck. If anything the Craig movies were the ones trying too hard with canonicity. >everything that happens in the movies can be traced back to SPECTRE >kills off Bond, Leiter, Blofeld, and M in the last couple movies because they were done with Craig's version of the character ☐ Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:36:24 No.195201728 ▶ >>195201810 >>195201837 >>195202077 >>195201648 >>Blofeld is his brother This has to he the worst plot point in any media ever Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)20:50:57 No.195202077 >>195201728 >Spectre literally ripped off Austin Powers 3 This will never not be funny

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Anon enjoys realistic cinema | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)19:38:20 No.195245649 THOSE MUST BE COMFORTABLE SHOES unnamed.jpg 45 KB JPG quickmeme.com >sits down next to a black woman at a bus stop >shoves chocolate in his mouth >immediately tells her he's named after a famous member of the KKK This is the most realistic bus stop interaction in cinema

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Anon tries to ask out a girl to prom | /r/Greentext

epe-shadilay-with-sungla(...).jpg (81 KB, 550x550) google yandex iqdb wait asked out 2 girls to prom Anonymous 01/19/24 (Fri)16:45:28 No.76176062 ✓ >>76176157 >be me, 18 khhv incel >read greentext here about an anon getting asked by 2 girls to go to prom >my prom is coming up, i didn't have anyone to go with >ask out 2 girls I was pretty friendly with to prom They both said no, but to make myself feel better I simulated what it is like to successfully ask a girl out to prom with Silly Tavern+GPT-4 later virgins

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His face when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ajMhc197) 93838494748837.png 1.34 MB PNG >be newfag >First hear about 4chan through the screenshots shared on YouTube and Reddit 01/19/24(Fri)10:27:00 No.19409539 >Think i'm going to read a bunch of interesting, and funny posts and I would have to lurk for months to be apart of the culture >mfw it's actually just a bunch of retards spamming p--- : Anonymous (ID: AavTP5KC >>19409539 (OP) # you look like that >>19409539 (OP) # i look like that 01/19/24(Fri)10:27:30 No.19409544 : Anonymous (ID: q/2RwwvG) 01/19/24(Fri)10:28:29 No.19409547

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Anon tells a story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)22:23:43 File: d605fb26-e9e2-4b3d-b71b-f(...).jpg No.194891642 (97 KB, 1200x630) >>194886682 >Frodo, did Galadriel ever tell you about the time I pretended to be a human mortal named Halbrand and tricked her into sleeping with me? By Melkor, was cash. Can you imagine what it was like? To be able to supple feisty Galadriel in her prime? Of course not, you manlet, no elf would ever ud you. You think Gimli was lucky because she gave him a few strands of her hair? Halfling, I used to floss my teeth with her pubes every day. It was like a constant teleporno. And she was completely oblivious to my identity. You should've seen her face once she caught on. Wouldn't believe it at first. "No! Not my precious mantoy Halbrand! Couldn't be Halbrand!" I'm telling you Frodo, autistic elven p---- makes you strange.

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Anon on bullshit jobs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: sxkyB+gz) what i actually do as a product manager $180k avg salary 01/18/24(Thu)14:23:41 No.455634810 What I *actually* do as a Product Manager (in 2023) Chloe Shih 262K views 3 months ago 05.jpg 375 KB JPG >manual labor pays nothing >fake email job gets you $180k Is economics a fake science? : Anonymous| >>455634810 (OP) # What does a product manager do? *unfiltered* no coding >>455647740 # 13:01 01/18/24(Thu)14:55:27 No.455637809 >>455638158 # >>455638216 # >>455638588 # >>455639169 # >>455639595 # >>455639965 # >>455639968 # >>455641848 # >>455643511 # >>455643999 # >>455644621 # >>455644784 # >>455645373 # >>455647216 # >>455648917 # >>455649219 # >>455653009 # >>455654478 # >>455654687 # 01/18/24(Thu)16:06:35 No.455644784 : Anonymous >>455637809 # Product manager here for a small regional bank. I handle secured lending and work from home full time. I gotta be honest, I get high a lot during the day. I have an ebay business that has really taken off and recently signed a consulting contract with a group of investors who need help with some balance sheet items. Wednesdays and Fridays are light meeting days, so I'm usually on the road; gym, beach, brewery, hiking, mall. I have 12-14 half hour to one hour meetings scattered throughout Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I also j------- at least twice during those days, my high score is 6. I know this may sound satirical, but this is actually my life as a product manager.

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Anon resents being male | /r/Greentext

01/18/24(Thu)00:18:36 No.455574786 CATE BLANCHETT'S FAVORITE $650 FACIAL USES KOREAN NEWBORN BABY FORESKINS written by Charles Manning March 15, 2018 $ Cate3.jpg 491 KB JPG >be male >grow up being lectured by society on how privileged you are >meanwhile it's completely legal for a doctor to mutiliate your genitals and for rabbis to suck them after >and it's legal for your amputated genital tissue to be used in beauty products for liberal celebrities >the same celebrities who talk about how hard it is being a female multimillionare in hollywood and give award speeches about how bad men are >and it's completely legal to discriminate against men in job employment, college admissions, the draft, government programs >this is all okay because men got the right to vote a couple decades earlier than women Clown world

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Why did she do that | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/24(Fri)05:43:24 No.195176149 IMG_2855.png 840 KB PNG >Puts her highest ranking subordinate in time out and doesn't communicate her plan for reasons What military is ran like this?

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Anons have fun with an anti-abortion website. | /r/Greentext

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Anon tries to be a university professor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: w5Z/GR/q) = 01/19/24(Fri)18:52:41 No.455731053 >>455678614 (OP) # >go to university in early 2000s >liberal but they leave you alone >class ratios 40/60 skewing male >get BS >back for PhD >class ratio now 40/60 skewing female >whatever at least class is rigorous and technical >few women f--- their way through dissertation >annoying but oh well >graduate and go into industry for several years >want to give back >apply for part time adjunct position at large university >100% of hr are women clearly annoyed with me >get intro class >class is 100% female, mostly non-white >absolutely terrible students >curriculum watered down on top of that >grades abysmal >several students threaten me with sexual harassment cases if I don't raise their grades >several other students imply they will give me sexual favors to increase their grades >several other students threaten their boyfriends/fathers will assault me >not worth it at all >immediately quit and NOPE the f--- out of their >college administrator replaces me, teaches remaining 2 classes in the course and gives everyone an A ENJOY YOUR NEW CROP OF FEMALE STEM GRADS AMERICA. don't drive over any new bridges.

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Greentext Stories - Anon attends a funeral | /r/Greentext

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File: 1646459608474.png (1.71 MB, 1230x1650) O Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:37:52 No.912661309 ► >be me >attend wife's funeral (may God bless her soul) >priest is talking about how good of a person she was, how she will be missed, yadda yadda >get a text on my phone >"did you here the noose? curry died" >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg >see a metal pole next to me >rip it out of the ground >charge priest >beat him to death with pole while screaming "IN THE AAAARMS OF AN ANGLEEEE" >everyone also attending the funeral is recording me, yelling to call the police >escape the scene >hide in a nearby abandoned building I'm f------ crying and screaming right now, /b/ros. What do I do? Anonymous 01/20/24(Sat)11:46:25 No.912661577 Things that never happened

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