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File: 1519608390810.jpg (35 KB, 345x399) 4 << Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:34:04 No.155984055 ► >>155986573 >>155986978 >>155987350 >>155987425 >>155987733 >>155987875 >>155988287 >Pray tell, who leads this inquisition? >Tis I, my Lor- >Not henceforth. >>155984471 >This man's a godforsaken phantom! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:44:21 No.155984471 ► >>155985405 >>155987033 >>155987125 >>155987214>>155987822 >>155987947 >>155991171 >>155992052 >>155992738 >my liege, this man that we pursue, it seems he does naught but spend his days in idleness >He does no work? >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:08:38 No.155985405 ► >>155988441 >no my lord >but how does he feed his wife and children? >he has none, sire >Is he not a man well into the summer of his life? >>155986326 >And thou's other dagger... >verily, my lord, but he lives as though still a child, we have on good account he hath never lain with a woman >You would have me believe this knave be the worst sort of simpleton, but nay, it cannot be, tis a ruse >Aye, my lord as you say, he must be a hermit of most puissant art to remain so chaste and humble all his life, we dare not approach him carelessly ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:36:38 No. 155986326 ► >>155986411 >Hark! Thine latest exploit resulted in reprehension of mine by the hands of the archbishop. >Produce and handeth over thine crucifix and sword. >AS WELL as thine dagger! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:39:08 No.155986411 ► >>155987350 >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:43:40 No. 155986573 ► >>155984055 (OP) Verily this shall mine last crusade. Thereafter I shalt retire to countryside, and raise hares with my wife and bairns. ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:47:05 No.155986684 ► >>155987463 partake in relations

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Femanon should be concerned? | /r/Greentext

>be me >femanon >found that my bf likes destiny >remembers that destiny gets cucked multiple times by his wife and destiny admitted that he enjoys it (That's all I know about destiny) >mfw Does this mean something. Should I be concerned?

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Anon suggests nation-wide terrorism to solve localized political problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RxMA1gZn C Real Solution for the Israel P(...) Energy for Hatred per Person Land redistribution among 3 parties that have been promised all the land each We are here 02/27/24(Tue)12:19:54 No.460011560 Settlements, Terror ist attacks on citizens. Tunnel Systems, Hostage Situations, Bombing Civilians Absurdity to Hatred Chart Screen Shot 2024-02-27 at 11.57.05.png 416 KB PNG Absurdity Ok hear me out. We all know that there is never going to be real peace in the middle east - at least not by agreement. What we instead have to do is push the situation so far into the absurd realm, people are not even ABLE to fight anymore. A few suggestions: > Over night, deconstruct the western wall and >Import 5 million African refugees >Import 5 million Pakistani refugees recunstruct it in the shape of the Al-Aqsa Mosque. Break down the Al-Aqsa Mosque into rubble and reconstruct it in the shape of the western wal. >Release 100 000 stray pigs >Redirect all internet traffic to blackpeoplemeet.com >Hack into all phones and devices and release all private chats, e-mails and nudes. U >Redistribute random parts of the land with a MrBeast challenge (Last one to lift their hand off the land gets it ) >Fly Drones over the land and blast Trance Music 24/7 on max volume Anonymous (ID: ZvuTzYj8 >Create a p--- network with exclusively Palestinian-on- Jewish p--- that is broadcast to all TV-Channels randomly. They won't even have the mental energy to fight anymore.

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Where did bro get all this lore from | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Helldivers Society 02/27/24(Tue)06:30:37 No.668401502 1700370210096901.png 864 KB PNG >Clean streets, not a single piece of litter in sight >crime almost non-existent >large, beautiful 50's future retro styled suburban homes with large well kept lawns >friendly neighbors >Cops just minding their own business rather than being d-------- and road pirates >kickass looking cars >Racial harmony among humans >booming economy that makes 50's America look like a joke in comparison OH MY GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS DYSTOPIAN NIGHTMARE A^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Burning Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 279 KB JPG 01/30/24(Tue)13:45:42 No.76292889 >Be me >Buy onahole last month >Use it regularly. Is ok >Last week, decide to put a thong on my pillow, and secure the onahole between the pillow and the thong (kinda like it's strapped to the pillow) >pronebone the s--- out of my pillow >Best orgasm of my entire life >Forget and move on >Be today. Horny again >take meds I forgot I had. All OTC, but helps me chill out. >Strap thong on pillow, secure onahole, and pronebone >Shaking orgasm >wait a few hours and repeat >literally trying not to scream from how good it feels >never had an orgasm this good >it's like my brain thinks i'm actually having sex, and it send extra pleasure both to my d--- and to my brain >feel even more releaxed now that the drugs have mixed in with the coomer dopamine Is this the best way going forward? I can cope like this for a long time. My body was shaking, I was moaning hard, and I feel so chill now.

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Crusaderanon is off the quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >and your other sword : Anonymous : Anonymous AND YOUR OTHER ROSARY TOTOUR GREINA HIM. பாசு: zy kt Afori >Hand over your sword and your crucifix. You're off the quest. >But my lord, I - >I don't want to hear it. The archbishop has been on my ass ever since that little stunt you pulled in Burgundy. You're a loose trebuchet. : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >you're off the case, Lionheart. Saladin has banished Christians to palestine Semarang HELE, 02/27/24(Tue)12:05:32 No.196688135 wrink? 130 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)12:06:13 No.196688167 : Anonymous >I'm getting too old for this shibboleth. 02/27/24(Tue)12:09:04 No.196688237 >>196688530 # >>196688582 # 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:13 No.196688343 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:54 No.196688356 02/27/24(Tue)12:14:46 No.196688383 >>196688135 (OP) # >*monk scribbles furiously on a manuscript* >I'm in

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Anon has sex with his gf | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (39 KB, 400x580) OH JESUS NOT THIS S--- AGAIN Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:26:45 No.616786855 >>616787206 >>616787357 >>616787876 >>616788157 >>616788428 >>616788614 >>616788931 >>616789205 >>616789237 >>616789929 >>616790086 >>616790215 616790311 >>616791842 >>616792252 >>616793358 >>616793500 >>616795737 >>616796916 >>616797132 >>616797530 >>616798742 >>616798769 F--- /b/ I F----- UP. I NEED YOUR ADVICE. >be me, 20 minutes ago. >having loving sex with gf >decide f--- it I'm gonna t---- f--- her. >proceed to do so. >whatdoyouwantbitch.jpeg >i get off and then she just stares at her stomach with no reaction on her face >I look at her stomach >huge skid mark from my ass >she gets up, cleans it and leaves >I'm alone in my apartment now. >mfw wat do? >I was on top, she was on bottom. >I was sitting on her stomach f------ her t--- Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:29:03 No.616787121 >>616790330 File: image.jpg (110 KB, 1280x1280) Oh man. 10/10 >then she just stares blankly at me >did I do something wrong? >no reply >blank stare Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:57:18 No.616790020 >>616790091 >>616790214 >>616790215 >>616790717 >>616790901 >>616791036 >>616791165 >>616791254 >>61679163 >>616791738 >>616793220 >>616793348 >>616793619 File: image.jpg (40 KB, 478x640) SON I AM DISAPPOINT Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:58:02 No.616790091 ► >>616790020 KEK'D LOUD Talk to your girlfriend OP. It might help get s--- off her chest. Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:59:15 No.616790215 ► File: nfNeT7YvTozx0cv7ze3mplZpo1_500.gif (85 KB, 480x600) >>616786855 (OP) Oh and op. >pic related >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 So much kek i can not handle this >> □ Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:03:54 No.616790717 ► File: 1430062888942.jpg (41 KB. 560x375) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15 (Wed)04:26:08 No.616793220 ► File: 1422738636270.jpg (75 KB, 720x720) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:12:23 No.616791633 ► File: 1427200358784.png (27 KB, 228x378) ???PPPPPP >>616790020 AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04: 13:22 No.616791738 ► File: 1429088024965.jpg (25 KB, 284x271) >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:05:51 No.616790901 ► File: b18218a1dc02004e6a91a0a0b(...).jpg (21 KB, 236x279) BELIEVE ME THIS S--- IS GOOD! >>616790020 capping this for future generations keksimus maximus >>616790020 Hahaha.. Lost my s--- anon! >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:29:46 No.616793619 ► File: 1431965895389.png (332 KB, 596x628) >>616790020

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Anon needs to read a literary classic | /r/Greentext

File: 1651379081107.jpg (29 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:08:25 No.30811686► >>30811934 >be me uni student, tall, about average attractiveness but pretty low inhib >walking around campus, bored as f--- >see a random 10/10 (genuinely) girl sitting there and decide to talk to her and ask for her number just for the lulz >she's a little awkward and her voice is shaking and she says "sorry anon but I'm actually married" >see her a few times around campus and she smiles at me, a few times i'm sitting somewhere and she sits near me should I talk to her again and get her snapchat or something? >>30812036 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:43:27 No.30811906 only if you're only interested in being friends Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:46:59 No.30811934>>30812036 >>30811686 (OP) What? She's got s husband what good is her snapchat >>30811906 >>30811934 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:04:31 No.30812036 File: 1652455736558.jpg (292 KB, 1439x1078) ummm try again sweaty, i'm want to cuck her husband :) Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:10:14 No.30812071 ► >>30812115 I think you should read Anna Karenina, you Count Vronski wannabe Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:18:48 No.30812115 >>30812071 hmm a tolstoy novel. seems interesting desu. maybe I will read it

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Anon has a crush on his coworker. | /r/Greentext

File: peperecon.png (73 KB, 454x453) Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:44:07 No.76587686 >be me >retail wagie >have qt3.14 coworker >she is pretty much my dream waifu in aesthetics >light skin, brunette hair with bangs, big brown eyes >wears round glasses, soft facial features >small frame but has a nice badonkadonk >dresses kind of nerdy even >saw her go into the employee bathroom today >she was in there for a few minutes at least >>76588694 >>76588873 Guys I went in there after her and licked both sides of the toilet seat. I know she probably used a seat cover but her bare ass was still right on that surface just about. I jerked it when I got home and the post nut clarity hit like a freight train. Best case scenario is I'm just an idiot, worst case I get oral herpes or some kind of infection from that seat.

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Bloody Sickle | /r/Greentext

: Odd Anon AH 117 KB JPG 01/25/24(Thu)21:22:46 No.76238858 > Be 6 year old me > Watch p--- for the first time with my old bro but we got caught > The next day > Watch emperor's new groove with the neighbor's daughter (12) whose babysitting me > We eventually got ourselves to a tickle fight > Remember what I watched last night > Go for her lips and kiss > Pull away and see her get confused > Go down on her and aggressively pull her underwear down > It's a spiderman underwear > She fights back by pulling it up > This continues for like 10 mins or so > Suddenly she got called by her mom > Says she'll come back > She didn't come back > Next day, everything's back to normal I don't know why did my 6 year old self did that but I really hope she doesn't remember that anons. This memory still lingers in the back of my mind and I can't forgive myself for it.

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Party pooper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 194 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)13:31:59 No.76598198 >hear couple above my apartment having sex >go to my bathroom and take a violent s--- >can hear the women yelling that was disgusting and the night was ruined. fr though living in a apartment with poor sound proofing sucks ass. Anonymous >>76598198 (OP) # KEK f------ based I hope you keep doing this to them 02/27/24(Tue)13:32:43 No.76598209

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He also defeated the Orcs but ok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 220.png 134 KB PNG 02/27/24(Tue)04:07:52 No.196675407 >be Gondor peasant >some hobo shows up near the tail end of the battle for Minas Tirith, basically just helping with the cleanup since most of the fighting had already been done >claims he's the heir of a kingdom that no longer exists and by extention is also your rightful king since his ancestor was the brother of your king from thousands of years ago >you havent even had a king for a thousand years >all this after your steward mysteriously falls off a cliff in an event unrelated to the battle, at which two of the hobo's buddies were present

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Anon tells the story of Seth the Tard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: f30Q+c1j) 06/13/12(Wed)03:27:18 No.405850895 >Be in fifth grade. >Mega tard named Seth is in my class >He f------ farts all the god damned time. >Ohgodkillmesoidon'thavetoendureitanylonger.jpg >One day ten minutes before PE >Seth walks up to my friends and I hanging around outside. >"Pass gas." >allmywhat.jpg >He shoves his hands down his pants, pulls out handfuls of putrid s---, flings them at us. >We flip the f--- out. >Huge mound of human s--- hits my friend >I flip out, had enough of human s--- being flung around. >Punch him in the face as hard as I can. >Bloody nose. >Starts screaming bloody murder. >PE teacher comes over, he says I just punched him in the face for no reason. >I point at my s--- covered friend, "Ma'am, he was literally throwing his s--- at us." >"DID YOU JUST SAY THE, 'S' WORD?" >"Uhm, my shirt is covered in poop..."-My friend. >"WE'RE GOING TO THE OFFICE!" >Get in trouble, my parents called. Almost expelled from school.. >I hate tards.

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Greentext Stories - Tis be a phantom | /r/Greentext

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File: 1519608390810.jpg (35 KB, 345x399) 4 << Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:34:04 No.155984055 ► >>155986573 >>155986978 >>155987350 >>155987425 >>155987733 >>155987875 >>155988287 >Pray tell, who leads this inquisition? >Tis I, my Lor- >Not henceforth. >>155984471 >This man's a godforsaken phantom! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:44:21 No.155984471 ► >>155985405 >>155987033 >>155987125 >>155987214>>155987822 >>155987947 >>155991171 >>155992052 >>155992738 >my liege, this man that we pursue, it seems he does naught but spend his days in idleness >He does no work? >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:08:38 No.155985405 ► >>155988441 >no my lord >but how does he feed his wife and children? >he has none, sire >Is he not a man well into the summer of his life? >>155986326 >And thou's other dagger... >verily, my lord, but he lives as though still a child, we have on good account he hath never lain with a woman >You would have me believe this knave be the worst sort of simpleton, but nay, it cannot be, tis a ruse >Aye, my lord as you say, he must be a hermit of most puissant art to remain so chaste and humble all his life, we dare not approach him carelessly ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:36:38 No. 155986326 ► >>155986411 >Hark! Thine latest exploit resulted in reprehension of mine by the hands of the archbishop. >Produce and handeth over thine crucifix and sword. >AS WELL as thine dagger! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:39:08 No.155986411 ► >>155987350 >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:43:40 No. 155986573 ► >>155984055 (OP) Verily this shall mine last crusade. Thereafter I shalt retire to countryside, and raise hares with my wife and bairns. ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:47:05 No.155986684 ► >>155987463 partake in relations

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