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File: images-2024-03-09T224557.996.jpg (30 KB, 510x601) gettyimages Crawle Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)14:51:41 No.76734154 [Reply] ► >be me >pervert >wandering at night >find a cutie walking by >she actually checks them >expose myself and say "Hey cutie check my baaaaalls" >claims to be a registered nurse >she says the condition of my d--- & balls is critical, that I have a fungal inflammation >I thank her for the exam >she says I am not grasping the full gravity of the situation, I actually only have a few hours to live >she asks me how would I want to pass the last hours of my life >I ponder a bit before muttering: "A b------, please?" >she says she has a throat inflammation that would only cause me pain given the scars on my member, but she has a slutty friend who can provide me that >her car is not far away >she drives me to her friends apartment >her friend claims she cant blow me because she got back with Derek >the nurse says that Derek has nothing to do with her and that if it were for her to settle down with someone it should be with Mark because he treats her better, and besides, she could make an exception for a dying man since she is a huge slut >they discuss >the front door neighbor gets curious about all the noise, she is an old lady of small stature >she blows me >the end

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon needs professional help | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 03/04/21(Thu)22:57:18 No.147536930 >>147534385 (OP) # >work at a covid testing site >walk up to cars with cute girls in them >'yeah just spit into this cup and we'll test it for ya' >pour all the spit cups into an empty Gatorade bottle I carry >do this for 8 hours >go home >use the spit as lube for my fleshlight >pour some it all over my face and shove it up my nostrils >drink the rest of it timed as I orgasm

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It's a Plane... It's a Concord... It's a EL/M-2075 Phalcon! | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Jewperman ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/09/24(Sat) 12:55:23 No.76729733 475 KB PNG >Be Jewish superman. >Working in news media (no s---) >Hear news of local bank robbery. >Dress up and fly towards the bank. >Feel sick from the ride. >Projectile vomit on the bank robbers like a firehose. >Day not saved yet. >Use my Super Circumcision Vision to mark them as my bitch. >Take bags of money that they dropped. >Fly away with them as charitable donation. >Day saved.

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Anon doesn't understand the Krillchad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/24(Sat)20:05:37 No. 197071593 1709951078922.png 1.38 MB PNG >bald >manlet >poor >loser >still gets the 10/10 hot gigastacy How the f--- does this happen?

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Double Strength | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/24(Sun)17:53:43 No.76348895 >be me >Woman image.jpg 5 KB JPG >me like male >me have crush on a male >male approach >hes cute >male starts showing interest and affection >instant lose of interest *in a soulless and monotone voice tone* I wish that guy treated me like s--- and showed me a little bit of attention in return. So my primitive little brain's reward mechanism could get addicted to him and his attention.

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Anon describes women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 342 KB JPG 03/08/24(Fri)20:30:44 No.30866658 >gf breaks up with me >sad >fast forward a few months >check out her social media (stupid me, I know) >lots of posts about how much she misses her "ex" (me) >text her to see whats up >she acts all passive aggressive >tells me I'm bothering her and to stop texting her Can someone explain to me why she does this?

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It was all just a Bad dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 668 KB JPG 03/10/24(Sun)04:36:36 No.915130813 >Year 2060 >Me: *Scavenging for a crumb of p---- in the ruins of the lost city of Atlanta* >Gen LXIX Raiders: "Nice red dot on that AR-15 Grandpa. What does that thing shoot? Wojack memes and political rants about the God Emperor Immortan Joe Brandon?" >Proceeds to vaporize me into a fine ash with a tubberware AR-9000 plasma rifle equipped with iPad sights and Al target detector. >mfw Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)04:38:44 No.915130876 >>915130813 (OP) # >They run out of battery They all commit suicide due to lack of tiktok 196 KB PNG Anonymous 135 KB PNG 03/10/24(Sun)04:55:03 No.915131451 >>915130813 (OP) # >Be me >1975 >Go on rescue mission to save staff members >RTB >MSF is on fire and under attack >mfw

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Suffering builds character i guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous suffering builds. character "suffering builds character "suffering builds character 95 KB JPG puberty suffering builds character 03/10/24(Sun)01:53:06 No.76733591 >ended up being a romantic as a kid and really wanted a wife okay I can do that doesn't everybody? >I noticed most of the friend girls I made or had a crush on only liked guys who were taller than me >didn't end up at least 6 feet after haha okay at least I'm not statistically short just average >family moved so I had to restart my relationships just gotta be myself! >bad parents and wasn't taught how to drive in my youth in a country where you need to be able to drive to go anywhere significant I'll just focus on what I can control haha >went bald at 17 + big 4head + baby-face w-well it's not over >can't grow significant facial hair I'll just start trying to exercise to keep my health and mental up >born Asian (Chinese) in America maybe my personality wi- >autistic okay yeah I give up anyone else had crappy high school and college experiences because of stuff like this? View Thread

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Desert flex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/24(Fri)20:26:54 No.194641989 bhOklels9wjb1.jpg 1021 KB JPG >build a suburbs in the middle of the desert >each home has access to A/C, clean drinking water and running sewage Name a bigger mog and flex than this photo.

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Life was never fair anon | /r/Greentext

107 KB JPG >be human >have to get a job >have to eat vegetables >be green spoon worm >vored by a larger female >do nothing but coom for your whole life life isn't fair

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Anon tried Polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Polish 08/14/23(Mon) 10:10:26 No.74378 Yes I'm Polish, how could you tell? HELLO Szczyjkjchzy Wojwekszcsj 63225d5ba295e.jpg 58 KB JPG > be me > decide to try polish on duolingo > first words they try to teach me are: > mezczyzna > dziewczyna > ciasteczka > konstantynopolitanczykowianeczka > brzeczyszczykiewicz I don't want to learn Polish anymore. :/

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Anon on runescape | /r/Greentext

5 KB JPG I went around on Runescape back in 2006 in full black armour typing "..." in red. I thought it made me mysterious.

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Anon had a great idea | /r/Greentext

36449 3 Re-0 Img 4 4 JPG 15KB (366 × 316) EDB30660-268A-4E42-BCE7-28EA76388 F04.jpg >recently moved out >kind of live in the ghetto, but its ok because of cheap rent >lots of crackheads around at night being loud >idea >buy a drone with a speaker >pay a voice actor on fiver to record a few lines >fly the drone by the crackheads >drone says we have been monitoring you. leave the restricted area immediately. >crackheads disperse. >do this for a month straight. >no more loud crackheads at night. >just renewed my rent its gone up 30 percent

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Greentext Stories - Anon flashes his balls | /r/Greentext

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File: images-2024-03-09T224557.996.jpg (30 KB, 510x601) gettyimages Crawle Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)14:51:41 No.76734154 [Reply] ► >be me >pervert >wandering at night >find a cutie walking by >she actually checks them >expose myself and say "Hey cutie check my baaaaalls" >claims to be a registered nurse >she says the condition of my d--- & balls is critical, that I have a fungal inflammation >I thank her for the exam >she says I am not grasping the full gravity of the situation, I actually only have a few hours to live >she asks me how would I want to pass the last hours of my life >I ponder a bit before muttering: "A b------, please?" >she says she has a throat inflammation that would only cause me pain given the scars on my member, but she has a slutty friend who can provide me that >her car is not far away >she drives me to her friends apartment >her friend claims she cant blow me because she got back with Derek >the nurse says that Derek has nothing to do with her and that if it were for her to settle down with someone it should be with Mark because he treats her better, and besides, she could make an exception for a dying man since she is a huge slut >they discuss >the front door neighbor gets curious about all the noise, she is an old lady of small stature >she blows me >the end

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