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spitandvinegar New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up - that man really salts my melon! -you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken - a louse will live on any head it lands on - don't put down a salt lick and say you ain't got COWS - there's a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell's too big -like digging a pond and hoping for ducks faedex This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

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/r/brandnewsentence brand new sentence hmmm tumblr

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eesirachs Follow Dec 12, 2022 Anonymous asked: Can we escape god? eesirachs answered: no but he doesn't mind if you wriggle a little 5,272 notes D 3

sandersstudies That feeling when your body is requesting something but you're not sure what so you just start eating and drinking random stuff to try and figure it out sandersstudies Me, eating a chocolate waffle at 7pm: Is this what you desire, oh prison of flesh? queerglassescutie @Dope-A-Meme Meanwhile your body is like I need water

trinketbug Follow May 19 WHY IS A BIG MAC $11.99??? PASE ORDE HERE "furry inflation" (2024) 25.1K notes

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the demiurge's curse

caesarsaladinn Follow everybody tweets like a social theorist these days, blaming their sad little lives on the commodification of art, decline of third spaces, hyperindividualism, and other such nonsense. I, on the other hand, know what's causing my misery--the demiurge's curse ●●●

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I think more of us need to be aware of this.

vacuously-true Follow Sometimes people bitch about media, both fiction and nonfiction, that they think "humanizes" bad people, especially bigots fascists Nazis et cetera. And I'm just like. Hey. Hey. The problem is. They ARE human. HUMANS did that. Your next door neighbor could do that. Your grandma could do that. You could do that. "No I'm a good person" why? Because you've gotten lucky and not seen propaganda yet that perfectly hit your buttons? Because you had people to correct you when you f----- up? Idk man I don't think we're all so different from the bad people. We're all just people. Reminding ourselves of our shared humanity with terrible people does NOT serve to justify their actions. It serves to remind us that the seeds of what happened to them could get into us as well, or might already have. It reminds us to be vigilant and interrogate the hatred inside us. If you convince yourself that you're just an Inherently Good Person who would never believe hateful things well. Now any little hateful thing that makes its way inside you undetected is never going to be interrogated. It will be left to grow undisturbed. If you remember that those things can get into anyone, you know to look out for them, and weed them out when they appear, and take the criticism when others point them out in you. So remember, that could have been you. If you forget, maybe it will be. 29,510 notes 2 D

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Don't know how many times I've showed a non-Tumblr person a Tumblr post and had the whole thing derail because the poor soul actually read someone's user name.

rederiswrites Don't know how many times I've showed a non-Tumblr person a Tumblr post and had the whole thing derail because the poor soul actually read someone's user name. rederiswrites Follow "Why does it say--" *squints at the screen* "....aziraphale's flaming c---??" "Oh no uh, ignore that."

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DNI if you enjoy NSFW things (aside gore) :]

dni-archive • DNI if you enjoy NSFW things (aside gore) :] ALT abyssill #NO SEX!! only murder itsladykit Motion Picture Association of America.

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Me thinking up an insane plot element and hyping myself up for the nonexistent cartoon that lives in my brain

wet-monsoon Follow me thinking up an insane plot element and hyping myself up for the nonexistent cartoon that lives in my brain 70,613 notes

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100% CLEAR - Congratulations Tumblr Theme/Gimmick Accounts

oicuperp hoffman's car magical-missiles @i-identify-guns-in-posts this one's a doozy 11 i-identify-guns-in-posts 1. Springfield Armory XD-M 2. HK USP 3. Desert Eagle 4. 1911 derivative (specific model unknown) 5. SIG P229 Elite 6. Beretta 92FS 7. Diamondback DB9 8. Ruger P-Series pistol 9. Kel-Tec PMR30 10. Ruger 22/45 11. Unidentified revolver, likely Smith & Wesson 12. Unidentified revolver, likely Smith & Wesson 13. Unidentified (revolver?) maykitz you forgot to identify the pink one CLO sapphixxx 11. Is a Ruger GP100, based on the scalloped section behind the cylinder and wooden insert in the synthetic grip maykitz you forgot to identify the pink one 12. Is a S&W Model 10 based on the proportion of the size of the cylinder to the trigger guard, fixed notch rear sight, narrow hammer, and small grips that do not fill the upper portion of the frame behind the trigger guard pixelizedprince Adam & Eve Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit based on the curved vibrating tip, dual motors, 7 vibration modes, and fully waterproof pink silicone casing derrida-simp @identifying-cars-in-posts what's the car tho identifying-cars-in-posts 2011-2014 Ford F-150 24fish 8 69,594 notes 100% Clear Congratulations! 3

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Truly

genlossicle Dec 15, 2023 Follow ... you never truly leave a fandom. some day down the road you're gonna remember the blorbo you were obsessed with when you were ten and never recover the brainrot that'll attack you out of nowhere

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The Older I Get the More Naps I Need

scientia-rex My greatest tragedy is that I literally always want a nap, right up until ten pm, when I feel utterly alive and electrified. 40.506 notities D

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RIP

gopyxp Follow Can you believe it? This thing just told a lie. evilwizard welp. to the shredder

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Who Has Suffered More

t4tails Follow who has suffered more jesus christ women in shounen anime #og post 12,341 notes Final result from 1,324 votes C 4.2% 95.8%

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Garfield Family Guy Fusion

peebong said 40 pastabot Follow holy crap jon this lasagna is friggin sweet eheheheheheheheheheeheheheheheh

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Gag

ginger-ale-official Guy about to invent mayonnaise: da sandwich tasted bad :/ newtgeiszler op's never had pizza with mayonnaise I wish this ginger-ale-official OP's never throttled someone to death with their bare hands either but unlike what you said, that can change any second

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Tumblr - These Are Good

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spitandvinegar New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up - that man really salts my melon! -you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken - a louse will live on any head it lands on - don't put down a salt lick and say you ain't got COWS - there's a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell's too big -like digging a pond and hoping for ducks faedex This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

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