Anonymous 33 KB JPG your poohole. 07/03/22(Sun)01:08:01 No.26579355 >homophobic >jerks to gay p--- What the f--- is wrong with me? I honestly wouldn't be repulsed by homosexuality if it didn't include shoving your d--- in someone's poohole, or taking someone's d--- in But gay p--- is so hot. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I weren't horny all the time. 2 Replies Anonymous View Thread 07/03/22(Sun)01:09:09 No.26579365 >>26579355 (OP) # Idk Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)01:26:32 No.26579527 >>26579355 (OP) # you don't have to do a---. most f--- don't do a---. analism and it's consequences has been a disaster for f---.

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Anonymous 03/01/25(Sat)04:17:09 No.704221836 250px-Walter.jpg 10 KB JPG >Al evolving rapidly to the point it can almost impersonate people and compose entire songs >video game enemy Al has not progressed AT ALL since F.E.A.R and you could argue it has only regressed Why the f--- is this?

Anonymous >2005 07/11/22(Mon)20:52:44 No.69371086 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 23 KB PNG >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)18:14:33 No.184255728 Translate a joke from your country 12 KB JPG Anonymous | 07/06/23(Thu)19:05:43 No.184257583 Two hunters meet. Both are dead. >>184257927 # >>184258192 # >>184258442 # Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:14:41 No.184257927 >>184257583 # >behold the peak of german comedy >>184258089 #

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Anon and quantum computers | /r/Greentext

File: builderman.png (212 KB, 640x438) ☐ Anonymous 03/19/24(Tue)14:44:19 No.76833408 >try to upgrade my quantum computer >accidentally observe the CPU >bricked 000

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Just Pretend I'm ok | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous return to neet ▼ Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)20:40:34 No.76842451 they should put cocaine back in coca cola >be me, a year ago 423 KB JPG >no friends at all except guy from highschool who just wanted to f--- >failing classes, not even going in >in bed for weeks on end lurking >happiest ive been >decide to change my lifestyle, who knows why >have a good plan ahead, uni and a cool place to live and start getting out more >start a longterm relationship >start getting good grades >start making friends with people in course >wageslave now im the most depressed and stressed i've ever been. what the f--- im tempted to go back to how i was a year ago, what do we think anons?

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If I Could Turn Back Time | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Did I f--- up? 106 KB JPG minor >be 21 year old ▼ Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)18:10:19 No.76841010 >friend group out of nowhere brings these two new girls in the mix >one of them is 16 years old >doesn't tell us this until a month or two later >a short while after, one of my friends tells me she told her friends that she likes me and that she's going to ask me out >obviously, there's an age gap here and she's a >I say what the f--- and go out with her, strictly with platonic intentions >hit it off and this girl is really fun and interesting >she likes the same band/rapper I do and we talk for hours as we took long walks >a few weeks after, she comes out and tells me she likes me, doesn't care about the age gap >I push her away, afraid of the societal implications and potentially dealing with an immature girl who's latching onto me as her first major crush >regret it immensely and think about it every waking moment for the past 7 years >we drifted apart after that but I still know her Instagram I know that the gap isn't that massive but I was scared that her father or brother were going to beat me up or something or she could have screamed r--- if she got the slighest bit angry at me. Did I f--- up or dodged a bullet?

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Can't Buy me Tendies | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/19/24(Tue)21:05:20 No.76842659 45 KB JPG >Be me last night >Been working the same telephone service slave job for 8 years >Gone to the kitchen for my glass of milk >Go sit in dining room to drink it >See a savings statement from royal london on the table addressed to my mum >Decide to take a peek, see what riches will come when she finally croaks >Only 3k in there >This bitch left scraps for me that will be worth nothing when she drops dead >mfw i found out that im gonna lose my entire livelihood when she dies.

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What's their end goal? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "Next Step in Human Evolution"(...) 03/20/24(Wed) 06:47:43 No.670728881 Baldies.jpg 460 KB JPG >"Humanity need to evolve!" >Turns into a ugly bald brawler with anger issues Why are this so common?

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Anons are tired and afraid of women | /r/Greentext

Comedian Hitoshi Matsumoto sues publisher over sexual assault article Matsumotover Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:26:06 No.197322737 >>197322754 >>197322937 >>197323048 >>197323198 >>197323461 >In December 2023, two women made allegations in an article published in the weekly magazine Shukan Bunshun that Matsumoto had sexually assaulted them in 2015 and in response his talent agency strongly denied, saying that there "no facts whatsoever" to the allegations.[20] Matsumoto himself responded saying "I'll fight because (the allegations) are totally groundless," however he subsequently paused his comedic and hosting performances.[21] In January 2024, Matusmoto sued Bungei Shunju which is the publisher of the magazine Shukan Bunshun alleging that it had engaged in defamation by publishing the story and was seeking damages of ¥550 million.[22] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitoshi_Matsumoto#Legal_issues Matsumoto bros... it's over. >> Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:27:15 No.197322754 >>197322789 >>197322823 >>197323069 >> >>197322737 (OP). Women should be excluded from the entertainment industry entirely at this point Anonymous 03/17/24(Sun)05:29:03 No. 197322789 >>197322815 >>197322863 >>197322754 Seconding this What the f--- have women contributed to entertainment?

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If you guys ever become fathers, please remember to treat your kids with respect | /r/Greentext

File: stock-photo-young-aggress(...).jpg (1.37 MB, 1500x1102) utterstoc shotters P shutterstock ☐ I wish my dad was more charitable Anonymous 03/20/24(Wed)01:18:31 No.915607511 ► >be me >be 22 >Join the military as a professional soldier >However, I still live at home with my parents because professional soldiers in my country typically reside outside bases due to geographical reasons >A few days ago, after ending my weekend shift early, I decided to go for drinks with my best friend and his bandmates, cuz I hardly ever see them >Make a courtesy call to my parents so that they aren't alarmed for being home so late, and smelling like booze >Have a few glasses of schnapps and fruit brandy (really good ngl) >Enjoying the vibe of the jazz club with my best friend and his mates. Felt good to be socializing with people other than colleagues >Remembered that my best friend's buddy had nowhere to stay the night, so I called my mum if they were cool with him staying over >Mum is hesitant, but she relents >Call dad, dad says no and asking why I sound drunk (I'm not, I controlled myself because I needed to work tomorrow) >Dad say he's coming over, tells me to come down or else he'll make a scene in the club >I start to cry, telling him that I just wanted to destress and have fun with my best friend >I come down, dad is waiting for me downstairs to yell at my face. He tells me that I'm an ungrateful bastard cuz I make them worry. That I'm selfish for only thinking about myself and how I 'lied' to them. How I betrayed their trust cuz I told them I was going to have 1 beer, when instead I had -2 wine glasses >he rebutts, saying that I am immature and selfish again for thinking only about myself, and how I was destroying my career >he goes home first, tells me to find my way back myself >I calm myself down upstairs in the jazz club with my friends, until the jam session ends >Dad calls again, demanding I take a cab back home >I return home, dad tells me that he was testing me to see if I had any remorse or guilt after he left. Wanted to see if I would rush back home out of filial piety I hope to god that I won't gaslight my kids like how my dad did to me.

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Anon's gf doesn't want kids | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 88 KB PNG 03/19/24(Tue)14:12:51 No.76838878 >gf says she doesnt want kids in the future >i suggest i might donate my sperm then >shes vehemently against it curious

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Anon will always finish last | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/24(Tue)14:38:58 No.76836935 I suddenly hate everything about my boyfriend of 4 years. I'm torn on what to do. Advice Needed ⚫ throwaway_lemontree ⚫ 3 hours ago* • twohottakes • 75% upvoted Hi guys. This is going to hurt me to type but I could really use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year of high school. We're now freshmen in college. We go to different schools but they're not too far apart so we visit each other every weekend or so. I'll just get right into it: I think I may genuinely hate him. And it's so f----- up because he's the sweetest, most helpful, most generous, just perfect boyfriend. He's never been anything but good to me these last 4 years. But lately, I've found myself disliking more and more things about him. The last time we hung out (this past weekend) everything he did p----- me off irrationally. The way he stood, the clothes he wore, how he walked, spoke, his hobbies. I started thinking he was too thin, too short, not hairy enough, not masculine enough. Just picking at every perceived flaw I didn't care about before. Yesterday I found myself checking out other guys and desiring them when I've never ever desired people like that. Looks never even mattered to me. But despite these awful feelings, the thought of leaving him breaks my heart. He's my person. It's been 4 years and we were with each other through so much. I don't understand how I can go from love to hate like this. Especially when the things I hate aren't even his fault. Please help. 268.png 207 KB PNG >do everything right >get a gf that loves you >pic related happens How are you supposed to prepare for this or counter it

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Anon gets fucking obliterated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/24(Mon) 17:19:35 No.263176418 I think all girls would be better as Gigasluts who have slept with 100+ men 337 KB JPG Anonymous >>263176418 (OP) # 02/19/24(Mon) 17:23:29 No.263176549 Freud was right, you are attracted to women similar to your mother

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The climate doomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Climate Doomerism 1.27 MB PNG 03/18/24(Mon)06:59:33 No.76820283 >9 months straight of warmest month ever >2023 was the warmest year on record >Ocean is f----- and has stopped absorbing extra heat When I was a child, this was the big problem that I read and was concerned about. I learned, I protested, I went and studied in a field that I thought would make a difference. But now, even before I finish it, it's become too late. Everything is f----- and spiraling the drain. I don't want to live in a ruined world, but I don't want to die and make my parents, brother, and dog upset. It feels like the only thing left to do is dance around the fire of our burning world. And then scrounge around in the ashes afterward.

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You can’t see me | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>915581567 # Had a similar thing happen to me >Age 11 >Visiting my dads for the weekend 03/20/24(Wed)01:05:12 No.915599938 >Have a half brother and sister there >One day Half Sister (6 at the time iirc) and I are in my room >Playing with action figures >Bodyslamming the toys against eachother >Dad watches WWF/WWE often >Half Sister and I get the idea to body slam her on my bed >I lift her up by the crotch and then throw her down on the bed >She's laughing and we're having fun >do it a few more times and then we're called for lunch >Little bit later I am called into my dads bedroom >His bitch wife is there and she is livid >she claims I tried to do something sexual with my Half Sister >Says her vagina is red and that my half sister was complaining about pain >End up ostracized and slowly go into a depression that only worsened through highscool >I didn't do s--- and still felt guilty like i did and that f-----' ruined me as a person >>915600173 # >>915600707 # Anonymous Anonymou >>9155992 >im so sma Bad news b >>915599938 # 03/20/24(Wed)01:30:14 No.915600707 I realise your pain is real and that is f-----, but as a greentext story: lol >Do WWE >Says her vagina is red ⠀ Anonymo >F------ JOHN CENA AT IT AGAIN

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Greentext Stories - Anon is horny | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 33 KB JPG your poohole. 07/03/22(Sun)01:08:01 No.26579355 >homophobic >jerks to gay p--- What the f--- is wrong with me? I honestly wouldn't be repulsed by homosexuality if it didn't include shoving your d--- in someone's poohole, or taking someone's d--- in But gay p--- is so hot. Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I weren't horny all the time. 2 Replies Anonymous View Thread 07/03/22(Sun)01:09:09 No.26579365 >>26579355 (OP) # Idk Anonymous 07/03/22(Sun)01:26:32 No.26579527 >>26579355 (OP) # you don't have to do a---. most f--- don't do a---. analism and it's consequences has been a disaster for f---.

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