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Anonymous Me when April 1 29 KB JPG >fuckyea.jpg 04/02/24(Tue)11:01:28 No.916285656 >be me >Junior in college >couple weeks ago, roommate comes back from visiting her mom >anon my mom gave me all this alcohol that I don't like >Literally like 3 cases of beer and some handles of Tito's >fast forward to yesterday, April 1 >One handle empty, one full >First one back from classes >devious thoughts occur >take full Tito's from fridge and hide it >Fill up empty one with water, put it in fridge >Roommate gets back >start acting up about the vodka being bad >have her smell it and convince her to take a shot >after she stares at me with full disappointment Ha ha got her ass April fools Gonna have people over this weekend and can't wait to do the same thing

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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anon has a billion-dollar idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/06/21(Tue)21:59:0 >strip nekkid >duct tape machete to dominant hand >Take 100+ mg of pcp and LSD >step into urban area >????? >PROFIT

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I would not blame him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 04/02/24(Tue)18:15:47 No.76989024 >wife is 20 weeks pregnant with second child >genetic testing had come back saying no high risk of anything >wife gets ultrasound yesterday >everything is mainly fine but doctor says the back of the neck is just on the cusp of being big enough to be a sign of Down Syndrome >doctor says not to worry >been having a full-blown anxiety attack since then Is it wrong to plan to kill myself if the baby ends up with Downs? I can't live that life. I won't spend the next 50ish years being miserable but having to pretend I'm happy taking care of an adult with the mental capacity of a three year old.

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Anon gives thanks to the neuroatypical community | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:15:19 No.99795275 shut up mom ssh is 500 ms slower than normal. MUST INVESTIGATE! the west must be saved son, are you still benchmarking postgresql? You can't just keep doing that all day. millions of computers must be safe 1.11 MB PNG imagine being the chink glowies who spent years working on a sophisticated social engineering plan to take over one of the most important and widely used open source projects in the world to execute potentially one of the worst cyberattacks in history, just to be stopped by some autistic dude who sperged out about ssh taking 0.7 seconds instead of 0.2 seconds. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:17:28 No.99795296 I'd like to give my heartfelt thanks to all the autists of the world. We would be living in darker times without you. Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)07:18:54 No.99795310 I still can't believe someone could be this much of a sperg. god bless his autistic heart.

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Anons wonder why Dune 2 did not make a gorillion dollars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DUNE 2 FLOPS AT THE BOX OFFICE 1.06 MB PNG 04/02/24(Tue)10:41:48 No. 197863394 BARELY LIMPED PAST $600M WW THIS WEEKEND AND NU- DUNEFAGS ARE ALREADY PANICKING SAYING THAT WB NEEDS TO DO A RE- RELEASE/CANCEL THE DIGITAL RELEASE (WHICH COMES OUT TODAY) The "NEXT LOTR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ladies and Gentlemen 84 Replies / 15 Images View Thread Anonymous 42 KB JPG >>197867936 # 04/02/24(Tue)15:48:54 No.197867890 >BUT WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! Anonymous 04/02/24(Tue)15:50:30 No.197867926 >I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! >IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT LOTR!!!! 313 KB PNG >>197867936 #

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Anon finally understands the Twilight hype. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)16:24:57 No.150079078 ►>>150079193>>150079231 >>150079258 >>150079449 >>150079666 >>150079790 >>150079805 >>150080021 >>150080117 >>150080506 >>150080690 >>150080756 >>150081242 >>150082099 >>150082326 >>150082396>>150084459 >>150084748>>150084805>>150084902 >>150085323 >>150085352 >>150086312 >>150086927 >>150087196 >>150087263>>150087750 >>150088325 >>150089464>>150093635>>150094527>>150096480>>150096994>>150097169>>150097731>>150097982 File: Id.png (499 KB, 1047x1572) life and death Stephanie Meyer wrote a book that was a remake of Twilight with every character's gender swapped So it's now a story about a sullen loser high school boy who gets systemically stalked and pressured into a relationship by a borderline psychotic vampire girl that's constantly internally struggling with her desire to f--- him outweighing her desire to eat him, who then protects him from an even more predatory vampire girl who simply wants to torture and devour him, then she later gets into a feud with a muscular and athletic Native American werewolf girl that is also in love with him Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon) 18:54:14 No.150084902 >>150096603 >>150079078 what the f--- I finally get it Anonymous 04/26/21(Mon)23:31:26 No.150096603 File: 6sfha4wsu5x11.png (122 KB, 750x422) I get it now. >>150084902 Damn, now I feel bad for making fun of Twilight all these years. What the f--- happened to me?

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Plight of the wageslave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/02/24(Tue)18:14:35 No.76989644 >Trying to cope with being a wageslave rather than doing my usual work for a while and then go into NEET hibernation mode on the savings >Dump considerable amount of money on a sportscar >Didn't work, the enjoyment the car brings isn't quite enough to offset the suffering of slavery >Now I just drive my corvette to work while daydreaming about high speed chases and driving into walls I think the worst part is the dark knowledge that being a NEET isn't so great either There is no escape is there : Anonymous >>76989644 (OP) # 04/02/24(Tue)18:22:23 No.76989695 I had a high paying office job and I couldn't do it, simply because i found the psychological pressure of being around/collaborating with normalfags to be too much. If I didn't have the issue of having to work with other people, I'd probably still have a career.

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Dwarfbros, how do we stop winning? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HIGH TEST vane Alpha 03/26/24(Tue)13:06:51 No.73908261 LOW TEST lanklet Beta 13513515.png 6 KB PNG >be manlet >muscles look bigger >above average penis looks enormous >can easily punch lanklets in the groin and chins How can lanklets even compete?

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Unga Bunga | /r/Greentext

Ancient Lifts 67 KB JPG >be me >On vacation in Africa >Visit a government run park >Has random huts with informational posters >Go to biggest hut >Find a bunch of bleached animal bones >Pick up a couple Giraffe leg bones >They're f------ huge and weigh more than I expected solid 15-25lbs depending on bone >Holdup.mp3 >Bones weighted exactly like dumbbells >Suddenly ancestral unga bunga memories activate >Vivid images of ancient humans and their animal bone lifts flash through my brain >Grug doing pull-ups on tree limbs weighed down by the spines of megafauna >Hex bar deadlifting hippo ribcages >Squatting Glyptodont shells >Cave gym master race >Wish I could curl a mammoth femur just once Anyone aware of evidence that animal bones were the first dumbbells?

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Do they know that porn is free | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [+] 04/02/24(Tue)15:43:03 No.195558437 Date Somebody your out age you f------ CREEP This is a Prostitute Thank God then both involved in loving and Monogamis tionship 145 KB JPG >90% of only fans subscribers are married >70% white >60% heterosexual >29years old on averaging >makes $40k >many where the wife knows W-- Why would a young married chad be blaming the lonely incel for simping Incels deserve an apology most rather fap to the free s--- How dare they demise this community https://youtu.be/LN2bqXzXYeU?si=1AybxusWlg-y2Spd [Open]

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Anon is filled with envy | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous (ID: 1PXW9eLI 04/02/24 (Tue)03:31:35 No.463696997 >be saudi >live in one of biggest countries in asia >yet we have no rivers >not one >and we have no forests >I've never heard the sound of rushing water >never walked beneath trees so thick with leaves they hide the sun >All I know is sand and rocks >everywhere I go >rocks and sand and you westoids wonder why we hate you. No its not cuz youre infidels. It's cuz we have to live in a literal goddamn hellscape and you don't. So f--- you.

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Birthing a melting pot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous es shrimple as that 478 KB PNG 04/01/24(Mon) 19:45:08 No.76984279 >black/latina femcel >asked out by a white/asian dude >first thought in my mind would be that our kid would have major identity issues and when they're on the rope I have to look back on the time I said "yes" Did 4chan poison my brain 04/01/24(Mon)19:46:46 No.76984292 Anonymous >>76984279 (OP) # You could try being a good parent. I don't have any identity issues as a super mixed kid, I attribute this to my good parents. I am immune to racebait. >>76984420 # Anonymous >>76984279 (OP) # 04/01/24(Mon)19:49:31 No.76984316 >Did 4chan poison my brain Yes >black/latina white/asian Needs more colors >our kid would have major identity issues They would have this even with a certainty of race.

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Caffeine addicts deserve it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG >be me 04/02/24(Tue)05:13:09 No.76983224 >Work in a restaurant that serves coffee >owner is cheap as f--- >we literally only ordered decaf >you ask for coffee you get decaf >nobody ever notices >when they do they assume they just need more coffee >we make more money because we're not giving people actual caffeine >grade A business

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Greentext Stories - Anon likes April fools | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous Me when April 1 29 KB JPG >fuckyea.jpg 04/02/24(Tue)11:01:28 No.916285656 >be me >Junior in college >couple weeks ago, roommate comes back from visiting her mom >anon my mom gave me all this alcohol that I don't like >Literally like 3 cases of beer and some handles of Tito's >fast forward to yesterday, April 1 >One handle empty, one full >First one back from classes >devious thoughts occur >take full Tito's from fridge and hide it >Fill up empty one with water, put it in fridge >Roommate gets back >start acting up about the vodka being bad >have her smell it and convince her to take a shot >after she stares at me with full disappointment Ha ha got her ass April fools Gonna have people over this weekend and can't wait to do the same thing

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