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Dafuq - Read It. Just Read it all the way through.

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The story of how I got cactus splinters in my a------ It was a long and hard summer's evening And by hard, I mean boner hard And by long, I mean like Black man Boner long So, batman was driving on his bat mobile to the hospital because he just contracted herpes after sitting on a black man's penis This is the point where the doctor said "NO MORE GAY SEX FOR Youll" Then batman went home and tried to cut his wrists because he was so depressed, however, his knife slipped and he cut his huge white-trash erection Batman was upset because he no longer had a penis: he was planning to kill his butler Alfred and then commit suicide by hanging himself with a small child's intestines while violently shoving a pickle up his own anus when he found a cactus He then placed the cactus directly under his butthole for insurance that if he would fall from his intestinal noose, he would die. However, when he hanged himself his intestinal noose ripped and he fell on the cactus, only to discover that he got many splinters on the inside of his anus This is the point where he found me. He told me "Boy, I seemed to have gotten these cactus splinters stuck in my anus, is there any way you can shove your big b--------- onto and all around my mouth?" I had to say no. He then proceeded to ask me whether or not I would like to give it to him in the anus - which on a completely unrelated note, was bleeding violently I agreed, and as my sweaty b--------- (I am a white man by the way, so if anybody can help me with this problem that would be greatly appreciated) penetrated his bloody cactus filled anus, he revealed to me that he was HIV positive So in conclusion, if you kill a spider, I am afraid of chocolate. dafug did i just read

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