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File: 1300669768956.jpg (398 KB, 544x600) Anonymous (ID: igTm24fJ 05/26/24(Sun)11:46:13 No.469204848 >>469205280 >>469205534 >>469205704>>469206529 >>469207086 >>469207436 >>469210718 >>469210914 >>469211591 >>469211607 >>469211620 >be me >Exiting mcshits >A wild loli appears >Begin to open door to hold it for her >Immediately calculate all of the years ahead of her, all the b------- she'll pull, the lies she'll tell, the guys shell cheat on and exploit, decades of narcissism and whoredom >She begins walking closer to door >Use man brain to instinctively know trajectory of door >REALLY open it for her at the perfect moment >Mfw the handle knocked her tooth out >She begins crying >Turns into screaming like a banshee when she sees her tooth on the ground and the blood in her hand >Her mother comes running up screaming "what happened" >Both look towards me >Say the wind ripped the door right out of her hand >Got the f--- out while barely getting it together >Almost died laughing on my way home

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon on R. Lee Ermey's performance in Full Metal Jacket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/24(Thu)11:53:14 No.2663937 Screenshot_20240523_114135_YouTube.jpg 532 KB JPG >There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on n------, k----, wops, greasers, injuns, zipperheads, slavoids, or any other inferior race. You will not be allowed to lynch pvt.Snowball. You will not make Holocaust jokes at pvt.Joker. You will not tell our South- Vietnamese allies to open their eyes so they can shoot better. And you MOST CERTAINLY will not shame pvt.Cowboy for being a filthy c----sucking f----- queer. Fried chicken and kosher bagels will be available in the messhall for pvt. Snowball and pvt.Joker respectively. Here you are all worthless subhuman n------. Do you maggots understand that? Was this necessary?

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Anon sleeps | /r/Greentext

83 KB JPG Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them.

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Anon gets singled out | /r/Greentext

12m (05/25/24 16:31) 77618279 - 6 Re. 1 Img PNG 324KB (576 x 607) Download.png 3 Replies my apolocheese OP >coworkers asked me if i was excited for the 3 day weekend >wasnt thinking and said "oh sure i cant wait to spend another weekend rotting in my room crying my eyes out and cutting myself haha" just f----- up my whole work rep dude

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Anon discuss literary master sister trio | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 05/25/24(Sat)16:24:40 No.23422918 >be final surviving member of literary master sister trio >Destroy your sisters works because they're, idk, bad or offensive or whatever >Go down in history as the most talented and celebrated of the trio Why are women like this?

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Anon almost dies from norovirus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THESE STUPID PIECES OF S--- CA(...) 05/25/24(Sat)03:19:01 No.2735828 avity Bag 9060 991 KB PNG >be a few hours innawoods camping >filter water with one of these badboys from a large, clear water lake >go to s--- one night, open my ass and its like the bathtub faucet was turned on >never shat like that in my life >whole camp is wretching within hours >we later learn we likely caught norovirus >am the only one strong enough to carry much gear and another guy has to be carried out >other guy is completely fine along with me, but within an hour he's keeled over puking everywhere barely keeping his face off the ground >we start the drive back >can't even make it, have to pull into a motel next to a hospital >within hours, we are delirious from dehydration as we puke 3.5x the volume of whatever we can drink >barely able to lift myself out of bed, make the call we gotta go to the hospital >collapse in the entry way, scared of my own reflection in the mirror when I see it >doctor hooks us up to IV >no longer insane after 15 minutes of the jesus hydration gravy train >tells me I was starting to die from dehydration >turns out these filters advertise as safe for camping, but very few filter viruses, and those that do are ultra slow DON'T USE THESE S------- EVER. ITS NOT WORTH IT. USE PURIFICATION TABS AND/OR BOIL WATER 20 Replies View Thread

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Anon analyzes a certain Pokémon episode. | /r/Greentext

►Anonymous 01/27/16 (Wed) 19:33:33 ID: bef0a2 No.4737009 File (hide): 1453952013985.png (Spoiler Image, 151.84 KB, 549x322, 549:322, hero of the episode.png) >>4734029 No movie I can think of but here's a cartoon, courtesy of /tv/'s thread on Angry Birds. It's the episode of Pokémon where the Charmander evolves. >Character of the week is Melvin the magician >He's not drawn like any other character in the show >>Shep haircut >>Big nose >>Beady little eyes >>The most heinous Jew accent ever to be on television >Vid of Melvin here: https://youtu.be /yymlq0tvGXo?t=1m38s The plot of the episode >Melvin's first seen getting scolded by a woman because he refuses to pay her >He's an eccentric cheapo >He is trying desperately to get into show business >Gets Misty on her own and pressures her into being his assistant and wearing a revealing outfit >He hypnotizes and brainwashes Ash to do all his work for him >Catches an army of Exeggutor and plans to use them to hypnotise everyone in town so they'll give him all their money (seriously) >Most important is pic related, the carnival owner who confronts Melvin about the army of Exeggutors and plans on firebombing them

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Anon has a medical condition | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)22:50:21 No.918852351 ile: IMG_1596.jpg (265 KB, 700x521) uncurable >Get BJ on prom night >Week later massive red spot on c--- >Herpes >F--- >doctor say this s--- is >No woman will want me >Struggle with shame and depression >Lose all interest in sex >Go years without being with a woman >Finally regain some self confidence >Brainwave.exe >Need woman who already has the disease >Find old h----- on craigslist >Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo >Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her >Call her up >Explain I have herpes >Tell her I presume she has it too >Silence >Then she hangs up I dont know where to go from here bros

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Ebrahim Anon | /r/Greentext

WRSEURSEU ♥ Anonymous (ID: TXt3pfDL) 05/20/24(Mon)09:37:57 No.468598033 >>46859814 >>468599719 >>468599737 >>468601013 >>468601040 >>468601492 >>468602086 >>4686 >spends +15 hours trying to locate crashed helicopter of nation's president >couldn't start search because it was raining >had to be given nightvision technology from turkey because their drones had no nightvision >still couldn't find the helicopter or their president >had to be given coordinates of crash by a third party that simply checked the heat map >thinks they can win a war against Israel and the West ☐☐ Anonymous (ID: fqU3c9Pt) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:47 No.468598134 >>46859932 Cousin f------ 80 IQ Muslim bros... ☐ Anonymous (ID: Bknwc3x3) 05/20/24(Mon)09:39:53 No.468598141 >>468604488 >>468598033 (OP) pretty embarrassing desu

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What tf is wrong with them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37987271 >psychic energy vampires keep creeping at my window at night what's their f------ problem JPG | 62.03 KB Saturday 2024-05-25 13:10:48 3 hours ago 5 Replies 0 Images 2< REPLY

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Anon deals with the devil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I think I f----- up 10 KB JPG 05/23/24(Thu)21:20:34 No.37977423 >be me >having panic attack >pray to God to help me >nothing happens >pray to Satan to help me >feel better immediately >thinks to myself "damn I should pray to the devil more often >order food >food arrives >look at ticket number >666 >mfw How bad did I just f--- up? Will God forgive me for my sin? I'm scared bros

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Anon ponders about American politics | /r/Greentext

File: jrjfy4bxe4lc1.png (67 KB, 334x508) 1980 United States Senate election in North Carolina -1974 November 4, 1980 1986- Nominee John East Robert Morgan Party Republican Democratic Popular vote 898,064 887,653 Percentage 49.96% 49.38% Anonymous 02/28/24(Wed) 09:01:06 No.16331782 >named John East >wins every western district while losing in every eastern district What did he mean by this?

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Anon visits the family | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20240524_104210293.jpg (635 KB, 3120x4160) We had to put a chicken down for /b/otulism Anonymous 05/24/24(Fri)23:30:32 No.4805965 >Visit my folks for the weekend >He and mom have like 24 chickens I love chickens, I feel at peace when I'm surrounded by chickens >The chicks escape the greenhouse >Spend like 2 hours getting them back inside, see picrel >Dog mauled one of the chickens last week >Chicken is infected >Rotting black-green skin, maggots everywhere Dad tried bringing the chicken inside, cleaning it with isopropyl alcohol, and saving the chicken >LostCause.jpg >Takes chicken out back >Shoots it with a 12 gauge to euthanize it >It explodes >He gives it a viking funeral pyre This story ultimately adds up to nothing, I just am sad a chicken died

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Greentext Stories - Anon found a loli | /r/Greentext

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File: 1300669768956.jpg (398 KB, 544x600) Anonymous (ID: igTm24fJ 05/26/24(Sun)11:46:13 No.469204848 >>469205280 >>469205534 >>469205704>>469206529 >>469207086 >>469207436 >>469210718 >>469210914 >>469211591 >>469211607 >>469211620 >be me >Exiting mcshits >A wild loli appears >Begin to open door to hold it for her >Immediately calculate all of the years ahead of her, all the b------- she'll pull, the lies she'll tell, the guys shell cheat on and exploit, decades of narcissism and whoredom >She begins walking closer to door >Use man brain to instinctively know trajectory of door >REALLY open it for her at the perfect moment >Mfw the handle knocked her tooth out >She begins crying >Turns into screaming like a banshee when she sees her tooth on the ground and the blood in her hand >Her mother comes running up screaming "what happened" >Both look towards me >Say the wind ripped the door right out of her hand >Got the f--- out while barely getting it together >Almost died laughing on my way home

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