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File: fml.gif (43 KB, 640x636) Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)02:52:31 No.77717970 [Reply] >>77717995 >>77718032 I'm tired of jacking off I just want to lose my virginity and get it over with but I don't want an STD, unwanted child, or undercover glownigger busting me for paying an escort Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)02:56:14 No.77717995 File: Boomer Sips.jpg (80 KB, 680x661) >>77717970 (OP) Well tough s---, bucko. If you want a greater reward, you gotta take a bigger risk. That's just life. Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)03:02:32 No.77718032 >>77717970 (OP) >download hinge >bite the hardest bullet and pay for the premium or whatever so you can sort for short term relationship women >match with them >??? >lose virginity

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon posts fefe | /r/Greentext

File: 7d2.jpg (89 KB, 821x662) Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)02:08:05 No.919361670 >Posts fefe >Collects internet points Why are Redditors so stupid?

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Anon fucked up his chances | /r/Greentext

File: tard.jpg (12 KB, 380x430) Anonymous 08/14/18(Tue)00:57:40 No.47485357 [Reply] >be me in 8th grade >there's a 9/10 qt that I share a lot of classes with >kinda have a crush on her but not sure if she has boyfriend >she's really nice and we get along well >jokes I'm the only nice guy at school >tells me I look like a character from a show she likes >one day writes "I <3 U" on my desk >I just erase it >she asks why I erased her display of affection >"it's vandalism" >never talk to her again >probably the most autistic thing I've ever done How bad did I f--- up?

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Anon fixes TF2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Operation Magnetic Mayhem June 3, 2024 - TF2 Team 06/03/24(Mon)23:26:09 No.678533460 Operation magnetic mayhem NBTS (Image credit: MN, Alox) It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. But it is never time to rest! A cloud cover has blocked out the sun, and a blight has overtaken our facilities. But by facilities, we mean Gray Gravel Co. and by blight, we mean massive hordes of robots! bppix1509f4d1[1].png 318 KB PNG >redditors and youtube lardlords start a retarded hashtag because bots have overrun their 2 decade old game >the retards start review bombing the game and spamming their s----- petition everywhere >valve's response is literally: >go outside >play the gamemode where you fight hordes of bots >support the national brain tumor society gaben, maybe i was too harsh on you. these are unfathomable levels of based.

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Nuggies for the Nerd | /r/Greentext

Anonymous M 3 KB PNG 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uhh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?

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Anon is a lab rat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 70 KB JPG 06/03/24(Mon)21:53:53 No.919350173 >be me >Partake in study on pain tolerance that's meant to determine if men or women tolerate pain better >They send an electric current through my finger and I have to report from a scale of 1 to 10 >"0" >They turn up the voltage >"0" >They turn it up again >"0" >They get flustered and tell me they can tell I'm in pain by my pulse body temp and blood pressure readings >"0"

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Anon watches The Lion King | /r/Greentext

File: Scar Vs Simba.jpg (17 KB, 655x467) ☐ Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)23:12:57 No.919340318 > How the f--- did Scar lose this fight? > Was he even trying?

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Anon doesn't like coffee | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)08:34:14 No.77706687 >Be me >>77706751 >>77707936 >Practicaly never drink coffee, even then dilute it to the extreme with milk because I f------ hate the taste >Be yesterday, late afternoon >Friend gets me a blueberry red bull "Eh, coffee just helps me stay awake for a couple hours when I do use it, how bad can it be" >S--- tastes good >Drink another one without thinking >Ffw 2AM >Can't sleep >Start looking for things to do 6 hours later, and I have cleaned up my whole house, been to the gym, repaired a burst pipe, changed two lightbulbs, sent a letter that had been waiting for 3 months, bought a bicycle, patched the holes in two pairs of pants and then some more What the actual f--- do they put in those? It can't be just caffeine. I'm litteraly twitching and running from doing one thing to another like I'm on pervitin. ☐ Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)08:35:12 No. 77706695 *leaking, not burst, but still. ☐ Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)08:44:50 No.77706751 ► File: 9a3a5c5d5ca328a6f410c0d95(...).jpg (155 KB, 1080x1080) >>77706687 (OP) Great now i have to go get one ☐ Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)12:28:58 No.77707936 >>77706687 (OP). > caffeine still has an effect on you stimulant newfag

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Woah, hang on. Is this some sort of silent hill? | /r/Greentext

108/32/4 >I just got chased by a guy with a freaking pyramid for a head

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Anon flirts with a girl | /r/Greentext

File: 759.png (123 KB, 680x586) How bad did I f--- this up? Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon) 14:10:17 No. 77712341 ► >Travel to Italy to see Roman s--- >At Venice Airport buying some of that fancy euro chocolate you don't get in America >Super hot girl in front of me >Almost get caught miring >Panic and grab a big box of chocolates >Accidentally punch the box instead >Box falls on the floor and she laughs >She picks up the box of chocolate and starts speaking to me in Italian >Say in perfect English "Sorry I don't speak English" >She stares at me >I stare back >She turns around and gets back into the checkout line >I follow >Just awkwardly standing behind her until I pay for my chocolate

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anon risks prison | /r/Greentext

☐ reminder: don't DJ at children's birthday parties anymore Anonymous >be me >depressed + stressed + rage issues >work as a DJ >stranger calls me to play at a birthday party >k >starts playing >MFW kid takes a water glass and smash it over my console >KickTheBaby.mp4 >mother rages >risk prison

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Anon rides the elevator | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_0529.jpg (15 KB, 241x209) Anonymous (ID: 3k0w5ARN >get into busy elevator 06/03/24(Mon)16:56:36 No.20445755 >lock eyes uncomfortably with female >let out extremely loud 20+ second fart without saying a word

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The views keep dropping. Look how they massacred my boy... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous What's their endgame? 05/27/24(Mon)21:23:25 No. 199558249 Metro @MetroUK Sorry straight white men, Doctor Who was never made for you POLICE TELEPHONE FREE FOR USE OF PUBLIC ADVICE & ASSISTANCE OBTAINABLE IMMEDIATELY OFFICERS & CARS RESPOND TO URGENT CALLS TO OPEN 6U.jpg 135 KB JPG >"We made the Doctor a women! Seethe more chud!" Views drop significantly. >New season starts. >"The Doctor is now black and gay!" Views drop by half >3 episodes into the new season. >"The main villain is now some fat troon! If you dont like it, go touch grass!" Views drop by half again. Whats their end goal?

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Greentext Stories - Anon is stupid | /r/Greentext

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File: fml.gif (43 KB, 640x636) Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)02:52:31 No.77717970 [Reply] >>77717995 >>77718032 I'm tired of jacking off I just want to lose my virginity and get it over with but I don't want an STD, unwanted child, or undercover glownigger busting me for paying an escort Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)02:56:14 No.77717995 File: Boomer Sips.jpg (80 KB, 680x661) >>77717970 (OP) Well tough s---, bucko. If you want a greater reward, you gotta take a bigger risk. That's just life. Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)03:02:32 No.77718032 >>77717970 (OP) >download hinge >bite the hardest bullet and pay for the premium or whatever so you can sort for short term relationship women >match with them >??? >lose virginity

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